Comments about ‘Stay-at-home mothers find challenge, reward in raising their children’

Return to article »

Published: Monday, May 21 2012 6:53 a.m. MDT

Comments
  • Oldest first
  • Newest first
  • Most recommended
GZE
SALT LAKE CITY, UT

Full Time Mothers? Really?

There is not a mother on this planet who is not a full time mother from the day her child is born until the day she dies.

That is a really offensive headline.

Rifleman
Salt Lake City, Utah

Re: GZE SALT LAKE CITY, UT
"There is not a mother on this planet who is not a full time mother from the day her child is born until the day she dies."

Sadly your statement is incorrect. Many bio-mothers are too busy looking for drugs and boyfriends to spend much time worrying about a child she considers an inconvenience.

Lucky is the child who lives in a 2-parent home with both his birth mother and father, and where his (or her) mother who can stay at home teaching him to make correct choices while his father works to support their family financially.

xscribe
Colorado Springs, CO

@GZE: I agree, as the headline and your post excluded fathers.

GZE
SALT LAKE CITY, UT

@Rifleman

So fathers who work outside the home are not full-time parents? We are only to be considered parents during the time our children are within our lines of sight? Or is it only women who have to be in the presence of their children 24/7 to be "full-time." Fathers have more important things to do?

And you know what? I was adopted at birth. I never knew either my birth mother or my birth father and I was still one of the "lucky" ones.

tallen
Lehi, UT

I forgot that I stop being a mother when I go to work. I guess that means that I can stop worrying about my baby from 9-5, stop using all my break time to pump, stop fielding phone calls from my babysitter, and stop using all my sick leave to care for my baby when he is sick because I'm not a mother anymore? WRONG!! I agree, that headline is 100% offensive. In fact, the worst thing about Ann Rosens comments is that people are feeling free to take these little jabs at working mothers. I've seen comments from stay at home moms that it would be easier for them to be a working mother implying the same thing this headline does; that mothers who work stop being mothers while they are at work.

WRK
Riverton, UT

@GZE

I have a wife that wanted to stay at home and raise my children. In doing so, she also took on the oportunity to help another Mom raise her children while that Mom went to "work" (as if my wife did not work). When my wife told this individual that her child had called my wife "Mom", that individual cried. It was a sad time for someone. Now, whether you are upset by the headline or not, I think it is what the children of these parents THINK that should concern us, and not worry about if a headline is offensive or not. Just saying...

tallen
Lehi, UT

WRK: Yet another jab at working mothers. Thanks. I do worry about what my children THINIK. I also worry about putting food in my childs belly, a roof over his head, and clothes on his back. Now, if you want to hire my husband to earn enough to support his family with good upward movement then I will stay home gladly. Until then, I have to go to work. My guess is that the woman your wife babysat for was in the same position, thus the tears when your wife bragged that another child thought she was mom (when honestly, children can only learn so many words so fast so female caregiver becomes mome. Your wife was not more valuable to that child than their own mother). Your wife was wrong to brag to that woman about that. It proves that you two do not understand the world of having to use two incomes to provide for a family.

ute alumni
Tengoku, UT

today everything that is written or said offends someone. You choose to be offended. My suggestions is to "grow up".

ute alumni
Tengoku, UT

gze:
the article is about stay at home moms. are you reading a different article? full time? you might put aside your "hurt feelings" and reread the article.

WRK
Riverton, UT

@tallen

WOW, what hostility. For your information, the woman that went to work (our friend, by the way), did have to work. That was not the point. And also, by the way, my wife did not brag about it, she told her about it with sorrow, so she would not find out about it from someone else, and they hugged and cried together.
I am sorry that this touched a nerve, so you had to attack what was said and not take it for what it was worth. I wish we all made enough to stay at home and teach our children, weather it be "book" learning, or work learning, but that is not the world we live in.
I am just grateful that I and my wife have been blessed to have her work as a mother at home with my children.

Rifleman
Salt Lake City, Utah

Re: GZE SALT LAKE CITY, UT
"So fathers who work outside the home are not full-time parents?"

A careful reading of the article suggests it is about "Stay-at-home mothers" By definition that would exclude BOTH fathers and mothers who work outside the home.

And no, Fathers in traditional families don't have more important things to do. They just have different things to do.

I M LDS 2
Provo, UT

I respect fulltime, stay at home mothers.

But I have much more respect for women who succeed in a career AND as mothers!

tallen
Lehi, UT

Thank you deseret news for changing the title.

GZE
SALT LAKE CITY, UT

I see they've changed the headline. It no longer references "full-time" mothers.

gdog3finally
West Jordan, Utah

@ article headline and rifleman

There are at home fathers that adjust to taking care of the kids out of necessity in the inconsistently fluxuating job world. More women have the corporate jobs now, and not enough men (generally speaking) can support larger families with all to many of the other jobs out there. I kept that general to not offend and to avoid specifics that can vary.

Basically, taking care of the children is priority one. Still, there are factors financially that aid in opportunity for children that is part of taking care of them. Men can nurture as well. Sure I see the stance that women should be in that role, but society is ever forcing other options. More women have corporate jobs that pay the higher wages than men right now. That is a fact. Why? Well that can be debated. Is it the highering process more than women seeking jobs. Why are more jobs offered to women? That can be debated as well? Does it go back to equal rights, or are the 1% exploiting women for favors? What about women avoiding having children or choosing to have more husbands stay home? All men aren't pigs.

Jeanie b.
Orem, UT

I was a stay at home mom for 18 years while our kids were young. It was exceptionally hard work, but I loved it. When our youngest of 5 was in 3rd grade my husband's work changed and I was needed to work outside the home to help support our family.

Thankfully I now only work part time, but for a year I worked full time with an half hour commute. Yes, I was a mother even when I was at work, but I was not THERE for my kids. I came home emotinally and physically spent. I had very little to give to my family. My heart was full time, but my actions and availablility were very part-time. I feel for moms that have that responsibility to work full time - for many or all of the growing up years of their kids.

RedShirt
USS Enterprise, UT

To "GZE" sorry, even the Dad who is gone all day at work is not a "full time" Dad.

How can you be a full time Mom if you have outsourced raising your children? They say that the most important years of a child's development are the first 5 years of life. If you have paid for somebody else to rais your kids, do you deserve the title of "Full Time Parent"?

Rifleman
Salt Lake City, Utah

Re: I M LDS 2 Provo, UT
"But I have much more respect for women who succeed in a career AND as mothers!"

It was LDS President DavidO. McKay who said “No Other Success Can Compensate for Failure in the Home”. Lucky is the child who's mother can stay at home and teach them correct principles when the children are young. It certainly beats whatever is second best.

GZE
SALT LAKE CITY, UT

You do not stop being a mother because you are away from your children. You do not stop being a mother when you are at work. You do not stop being a mother when you are asleep. If my mother-in-law is any example (and I believe she is), you do not stop being a mother when you are 82 years old, have had a stroke, and have not have one of your children living in your home for over 30 years.

If you want to argue that stay-at-home moms are better, or more dedicated, or whatever, knock yourselves out. I have known children with stay-at-home moms who come to school dirty, unfed, and with their homework undone. I have known mothers who work outside the home who take care of their children's physical and emotional needs flawlessly. And vice versa. Each family does what works for them. It is not the place of others to judge.

I did not say word one about the content of this article. I simply found the headline to be flawed. Apparently, the DN agreed with me and changed it.

I M LDS 2
Provo, UT

Rifleman,

It is the judgmental presumption that women who work outside the home and have a career are "second rate" (or "second best") mothers that is wrongheaded and infuriating.

to comment

DeseretNews.com encourages a civil dialogue among its readers. We welcome your thoughtful comments.
About comments