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Comments about ‘The war on boys: Young men losing ground in education, emotional health and jobs’

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Published: Sunday, Feb. 19 2012 11:00 p.m. MST

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junkgeek
Agua Dulce, TX

You want boys to get more involved in social sciences, language arts, and education? Foster that as a goal. Stop having youth nights with basketball, scouting, and video games. Get boys to read. Encourage reading. Start calling out masculine attitudes about "that's just what boys do".

junkgeek
Agua Dulce, TX

The problem is that you aren't making boys succeed in school. If your son isn't reading ever night, he's going to fail. But hey, let's skip school for the deer hunt, spring break, and that family vacation! Let's go to youth night before a test the next day.

Put education and grades foremost, and you'll get the results. Boys like competition. Make them compete for grades.

Kiyo
Washougal, Washington

.......The girls go to college, and the boys go to jail....A common scenario across every demographic.

Screwdriver
Casa Grande, AZ

Can we stop overusing "the war on" whatever?

Screwdriver
Casa Grande, AZ

I'm a single father of a daughter. I'm prepared to send her to college in a few years but I'm appaled at how many parents I hear say thier kids will be on thier own in college. They aren't saying they will help as much as they can, just that thier kids are on thier own. Particularly parents of boys I hear this from.

Just a theory but I think parents support thier daughters more than they do boys. Or are more likely to let thier boys fend for themselves than they would thier daughters.

Gildas
LOGAN, UT

When I went to elementary school all of the teachers were women and I recall one boy complaining that one teacher favored girls over boys.

I'm not sure if that was true as I never noticed that personally, but today I know that males are portrayed as inferior and made the butt of jokes on television, or caricatured snd stereotyped in other unfavorable ways. All this passes into the psyches of the young and impressionable. Females, on the other hand, are excused in their negative behaviors where males would be roundly condemned.

We have had a generation of this; in fact we are into the second feminist generation. Much of the problem comes from or is perpetuated by unbalanced legislation, and is grounded in an epidemic of divorces, followed by custody of the mother over the father, from greedy lawyers, activist judges etc.

Sneaky Jimmy
Bay Area, CA

If one father is good, wouldn't two be better? eg; "Modern Family"

worf
Mcallen, TX

There's also a war on fathers, husbands, and traditional family. Almost every family program, the father is made to look like a stooge.

Ironhide
Salt Lake City, UT

To me, this is about the media. Music, television, pop culture suggest that responsibility, maturity, marriage, child rearing, and especially education are all for nerds or complete fools. Selfishness and the path of least resistance abound. "Dudes are dumb" themes have been common for my growing up life and this is what society gets in return. Using the TV to babysit, where an unreal and unhealthy reality is conveyed and believed is at least one of the culprits to this problem. I can count ten friends that didn't go to college. Of those, 1 has a decent job. That means he MIGHT be able to pay a mortgage with it. Not that it matters, he has a truck and boat and lives with his parents. Oh, he's 31 years old. The other nine friends are working in the mall, or at entry level positions because of there lack of education. They're all at least 30! I don't want to hear about the rare exceptions that happen to make a good living without school. All of my other friends that went to school are all in manager positions or higher and make over 60 grand a year.

morpunkt
Glendora, CA

I recently watched a TV program that addressed this very subject. Part of the program showed a Catholic all boys school. Their program was very interesting, in that one of the teachers, who was female, stated that boys are essentially treated like "defective females" in conventional schools. This all boys Catholic school had a very high success rate in college acceptance for these boys. Their curriculum involved a lot of interaction, geared for competition, between the boys, to learn. It was very interesting.

nhsaint
PETERBOROUGH, NH

As a teacher and single mother of three grown children (a son and two daughters), I found this article interesting. At the time of my divorce, my ex-husband moved out of state, abdicating responsibility for the children to me. He would go six months at a time without seeing his son, the oldest at age 12. His daughters he saw more frequently at first, but later he also stopped seeing them.

My daughters are both college graduates with healthy relationships. My son has struggled since adolescence, despite high intelligence and a myriad of talents. No college, low level jobs.

My children did not watch tv or movies growing up (hence no negative influences there), and they attended a great private school with children who were likewise protected.

Their world was filled with music education, sports, all wholesome activities that they chose. I gave them all the same opportunities and support, but I see clearly that the lack of a male influence was devastating for my son. And if anyone imagines that there are worthy men out there clammering to help these fatherless boys, they are sadly mistaken. We need to hold fathers accountable to their children after divorce, period.

bandersen
Saint George, UT

Is it any wonder the Tea Party Exists? Look no further than the government's meddling in every thing that is happening in our society, including another 'blue ribbon' panel to figure this one out. The federal government, abetted in their power vacuum by the 'do gooders' within both major parties, have supported abortion on demand, gay marraige, tax policies that support divorce, unwed mothers, fatherless homes, and a host of other social ills that destry family life. Wake up! Boys need good examples, choice with consequences (that allow them to learn early), and opportunity, none of which exists in our current drive to control, manage, and force every step of human endeaver, all of it found within the democratic and republican parties. Get the Democrats and the Republicans out of the way, allow liberty to exist, and return to the author of liberty, God, and all will be well.

Jack
Aurora, CO

The points in the article are well documented. Boys and girls learn differently. Boys feel good when they compete, girls compete when they feel good. Competition in schools is seen as a bad thing, boys are not seen as worth-while because of the desire/need to be active and challenge, because girls tend not to be that way. The "good kid" model is one who doesn't need to complete or be active. Those who do are labeled and medications recommended. As an active Scouter, I see where that program is tailored to that mindset. The very definition of kinetic energy is an 8 yr old in a blue shirt......let them be boys, let them compete and they will learn. Recognize that boys and girls learn differently, it isn't discrimination but a recognition of facts. Let each gender learn in the environment best suited for them and lets enjoy the results.

county mom
Monroe, UT

As the mother of a house full of boys and a couple of girls too, I can tell you boys and girls learn differently. Generalising here, but boys are usually hands on challenge oriented. Girls usually like quiet, book oriented learning. This alone makes it harder for boys to learn because the classroom is not a place condusive to their type of learning. Then take the fact that most teachers are women and many have no patience for roudy boys.
The solution is one many will not like because it sounds like segagation. Boys in one classroom, girls in another. Or more specifically Hands on learners, taught one way, quiet book learners taught another. This would give every child the opportunity to grasp what is being taught.

BlueEyesFr
Paris, 00

They maybe a war against bad boys but there is certainly not a war agains boys. i have always worked in international firms and corporation and most of the management there were males. In the course of my professional activities, i had to do some search on companies and when i look at who is at managerial levels, In 95 per cent of cases, the number of women represents 5 to 10 per cent of the team compared to men. Do the statistics on a world level, it will be the same.

So if men are lagging behind it is not because of a war against them, it is because they lack the motivation and will to succeed. And if women get ahead in the classrom, it is beacause, considering the world in which we live and the past, they know that their chance at surviving in this world where men are no longer dependable for the majority (though definitely some are.... hopefully on the long term) is to be financially independent. (to be continued)

BlueEyesFr
Paris, 00

Continued from previous post

In my family, if it had not been for my mother, we would have ended homeless.... I am not the only one to be in that situation. Millions of women are happy they have a job because they were either abondonned by their husband or had to divorce because they were abused, neglected or cheated,or just because in this uncertain and risky world they were safer being single.

No it is not a war against boys.... it is a struggle for survival and gender equality.

lynn oliver
Milledgeville, GA

Please see how differential treatment is creating differences. See stress more correctly as layers of mental work that take up real mental energy. See how more aggressive treatment of young Males creates higher stress that hurts learning/motivation (mental reward received for mental work expended). Also creates higher muscle tension that hurts handwriting/motivation to write; and creates more activity for stress relief. Try to see the social/emotional distance created by more aggressive more authoritarian treatment by parents and teachers. Try to see the need for love/honor not given unless achieving, sending more Males to video games or sports for feelings of self-worth. Try to see how the girls are given much more kind, stable, verbal interaction and other menta/emotional/social support and care through adulthood.

Jamescmeyer
Midwest City, USA, OK

On the one hand, the best way to fix this problem is the same best way to fix many problems; fix the family. Make families strong and loving.

On the other, it is insensetive to suppose that there is no intended or concentrated attack on males. Stop and look at how frequently men and boys are the butt of the joke, or the incompetent goon on television. Stop and think critically about the many feminist claims and ideals, and how vehemntly they continue to push the support of women and exlcusively women, citing flawed and outdated information to paint a one-sided picture of gender equality. Look to the countless implicit claims today that families do not require a father and a mother, that two of one or only one will do.

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