Comments about ‘Gratitude just as important as dowries for today's brides’

"Other things that remain in our possession after all these years are a dozen envelopes with 29-cent stamps that contain notes of thanks for other wedding gifts. For various reasons, they were never mailed or have incomplete addresses â and the guilt prevents me from ever tossing them."

I'm 58 years old, so you can't accuse me of being a defensive bride here.

The world has changed since the days of Emily Post. While it's not revolving measurably faster, our lives are, and most of us can't keep up with what we've got, but we're all still grateful. We're also thankful for caring friends who help us along the way with things, whether we get or give a card or not.

However...

I was, for many years, a hoarder. When I read the above-quoted paragraph, I saw myself. Guilt-ridden, and hanging onto a past that served only to make me feel badly about myself. Take my advice and drive those old thank-you cards to a recycle center (so you don't feel guilty about filling up a landfill) and say goodbye. You can't even reuse the unused stamps unless you mail something in the same envelop (with additional postage now, of course.) Do you seriously believe any of the people on those wrongly-addressed envelopes is sitting at home in a snit, thinking, "Stacie was such an ungrateful bride! She never even sent me a thank-you card for the Crockpot we bought her!" No!!! (If they are, they're in worse shape than you.) I hate to confess it here, but when I see a card I know is a thank-you, I don't even open it. I don't have time, and I already know she was grateful. I also refuse to clutter up my life anymore, with anything, so it goes directly into the recycle bin.

I also would never give anybody an ice cream maker. Not in 2012. Why? Because people care about healthy lifestyles and organic eating now. Because most newlyweds are still in transformational states. They are finishing school, or still in a basement apartment. The last thing I want to do is burden them with some heavy, space-consuming item they may feel guilty about keeping because they love you. Give them something they can use; a gift card. Besides, they can get a brand-new ice cream maker from D.I. nearly any day of the week, donated by someone living in a basement who didn't have room for it, and tried to return it, but gave up after trying five different stores. Gifts like those just make the bride and groom work harder. (Back me up on this, brides. Click the "like" button if you agree. Click Stacie Duce's "like" button if you think we need to do what a dead "Miss Manners" instructed back nearly a century ago.)

If Oprah taught us anything, it's that we need to be grateful, and I don't know a person walking who isn't-but I honestly prefer a Fb shout-out or a warm hug to a cold thank-you card that just sacrifices more trees.

Oh my.. firefly123.. You really wanted to pop Stacie's balloon , didn't you.