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Comments about ‘Friday Minute: Healing our grief’

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Published: Friday, Aug. 12 2011 5:00 a.m. MDT

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texasangel
Ballinger, Tx

Dear Sir, I have lived through what you have no concept of! I have had a 15 1/2 yrs old son murdered while walking to seminary. It has been nearly 8 yrs. I am still trying to define my new normal I will never be the woman i was. James murder has a deep inpact on my life and the lifes of those who truly loved him. My new "Normal" Normal is having tears waiting behind every smile when you realize someone important is missing from all the important events in your family's life. Normal is feeling like you can't sit another minute without getting up and screaming because you just don't like to sit through anything.

texasangel
Ballinger, Tx

Normal is not sleeping very well because a thousand what if's & why didn't I's go through your head constantly. Normal is reliving that day continuously through your eyes and mind, holding your head to make it go away. Normal is having the TV on the minute I walk into the house to have noise, because the silence is deafening. Normal is every happy event in my life always being backed up with sadness lurking close behind, because of the hole in my heart. Normal is telling the story of your child's death as if it were an everyday, commonplace activity, and then seeing the horror in someone's eyes at how awful it sounds. And yet realizing it has become a part of my "normal". Normal is having some people afraid to mention my son James.

texasangel
Ballinger, Tx

Normal is making sure that others remember him. Normal is weeks, months, and years after the initial shock, the grieving gets worse sometimes, not better. Each year is like a onion, a new layer of tears. Normal is not listening to people compare anything in their life to this loss, unless they too have lost a child. NOTHING. Even if your child is in the remotest part of the earth away from you - it doesn't compare. Losing a parent is horrible, but having to bury your own child is unnatural. Normal is taking pills, and trying not to cry all day, because I know my mental health depends on it. Normal is realizing I do cry everyday

texasangel
Ballinger, Tx

. Normal is disliking jokes about death or funerals, bodies being referred to as cadavers, when you know they were once someone's loved one. Normal is being impatient with everything and everyone, but someone stricken with grief over the loss of your child. Normal is sitting at the computer crying, sharing how you feel with chat buddies who have also lost a child. Normal is feeling a common bond with friends on the computer in England, Australia, Canada, the Netherlands and all over the USA, but yet never having met any of them face to face.Normal is a new friendship with another grieving mother, talking and crying together over our children and our new lives. Normal is not listening to people make excuses for God. "God may have done this because..." I love God, I know that my son is in heaven,but hearing people trying to think up excuses as to why children were taken from this earth is not appreciated and makes absolutely no sense to this grieving mother

MrsH
Altamont, UT

texasangel, my heart breaks for you. What a horrible thing to happen.

May you find peace someday.

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