Comments about ‘Deseret News in Haiti: Med student discovers a daughter to adopt’

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Published: Monday, Jan. 25 2010 12:00 a.m. MST

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SLH

I love these pictures! Congratulations to the new parents and best of luck to the people creating the new orphanage. What a wonderful story.

Ralph T

This story brought tears to my eyes...and I'm at work! Sure hope no one walks into my office and sess me blubbering over my keyboard. What a beautiful way to bring something good out of something so horrific. I'm sure her parents are smiling down from heaven.

K

And I am an adoptive parent from a child born overseas.

If someone wants to adopt there are processes to go through. Even with Haiti you don't fly to an orphanage and pick one out.

Adoption should be about family building. Not the knee jerk response to a tragedy. Who wants to be a parent's visable sign to their community of a "good deed" performed?

These kids already will go through trama and have delays from nurtition gaps. Now there is the earthquake. Placing them in a home that's drastically different from their environment. Not seeing many from their ethnicity and culture. When you adopt you go through meetings/interviews with social workers, take classes on the above topics to help deal, gather paperwork on every detail of your life financial, marital, education, work, extended family. You invite people to inspect your home. There are rules regarding age, weight, heath of parents, number of kids in the home.

A person who is on the ground and sees a child hasn't gone through any of this process yet. They have no idea what they are getting into or even if it's possible to adopt?

Steve Weinberger

I will add to what I said when Bill and Amy first emailed me. Not only am I overwhelmed with gratitude that I can call you both family, but I am grateful that you keep the spirit and listen to it. You are truly blessed to have the means to be there and help in such a huge way. I have no doubt the blessings you will receive from Lauren will drastically overshadow the effort it has required. Please let me know how we can help in ANY way.

utah's way of intergrating

cute story though. People are going down there to like pick out their future children. Sounds a bit weird to me.

Question

I looked on the Haiti adoptive website and it said that in order to be qualified to adopt, you have to be married for 10 years, and be over 30. I am 24 years old and my husband is 25. We've been married for almost 3 years and have had infertility problems. I would love to adopt, but if I'm not qualified then there's nothing I can do right? I can provide a good stable environment, more love than any child could ask for, food, water... why are they putting a qualified status on there? Wouldn't they want children to be adopted so they can grow up educated and healthy and happy and loved? Does anyone know anything about this that could help me?

K

My comment didn't go through.

In the last 6 years in stable time about 300 adoptions to the US took place from Haiti. That is with an "orphan" count of 300,000 plus.

Pet-store mentality. I am upset this phrase is used in the story.

To Question. There are programs you are qualified for. Just not this one. If someone really wants to adopt they will look into various programs, see which qualifications they meet. Discourage what challenges they are comfortable facing: FAS, conspicuous families, breaks in attachment such as is seen but not limited to foster care kids, orphanage developmental delays, special need children..

We can care for orphans and still not adopt them. The child in question was brought to an orphanage but that doesn't mean all family is dead. Earthquakes don't happen when everyone is home. Parent could be injured somewhere so neighbors too her there. Most in orphanages there aren't orphaned. Their parents can't feed them. But even though kids can't necessarily get out of the orphanage. Parent's wouldn't bring their children there if they knew they wouldn't have them back again.

K

If you look at the website the US government has talking about intercountry adoption and Haiti there is a special message dated on the 22nd.

"We understand that other Americans, moved by images of children in need, want to open their homes and adopt other Haitian children who had not been identified for adoption before the earthquake. The State Department advises against this course of action at this time. Intercountry adoption involves strict safeguards and legal requirements that must be met to protect children from illegal adoptions, abduction, sale and child-trafficking as well as to ensure that any adoption is in the best interests of the child."

Children who are coming home were already adopted or the 18 month adoption period was well underway, it just takes months after for the official adoption passports and VISA's to get done. Most kids coming to the US have already taken the name of their adoptive families long before the quake.

K

Actually the parents both need to be 35, if one is under 35 they must be married 10 years.

I agree

With Daniel and K.

While this story is "heartwarming" and I applaud what many are doing for the children of Haiti, it is my hope that whoever wants to follow suit do so cautiously and do so by educating themselves properly and not rely primarily on emotional grounds. Or should we do so to gratify our own desire.

Yes, it is downright tragic but these children do not need our pity nor do we need to patronize them for what we perceive they lack. They do need more than a handout. These are REAL children with REAL stories.

I have worked with and met many who "initially thought" it was a good idea (because I'm helping someone else) to save the "less fortunate" from their world.

But when the emotional need subsides and reality hits, the children only end up becoming the victims of our own misdirected intentions.



Great story

How could you go down there to help and no bring back an orphan? Those poor children that are suffering so much. I hope the adoption process is sped up to save more of these kids.

Wow!

"Though not a Mormon, Laurent has opened his home, guesthouse and compound this week to a visiting team of LDS volunteer doctors and nurses from Utah and the rest of the United States providing post-quake care."

Does that mean that there are actually *gasp* decent and generous non-Mormons out there? My entire foundation is rocked by this news.

Adoption Inquiry

I see these stories, yet see adoption agency websites indicating that they aren't doing any adoptions through Haiti at the moment. That the first priority is to link children with possible extended family or neighbors in the area who would care for these children. Where do those who are interested in adopting find information?

Mc

@K "Parent's wouldn't bring their children there if they knew they wouldn't have them back again."

This is not true. Before the earthquake most orphanages in Haiti were filled with children who had living Haitian parents who placed them there because they could not feed or care for them. They had to agree to let them be adopted when they left them there. The orphanages were supported by adoptive parents who sent money each month until their adoptions go through. The biological parents do have to sign the final papers before the children are able to leave with their new parents, but if the parents do not sign the child will be returned to them, not able to stay in the orphanage. One of our Haitian granddaughters was once returned to her birth mother because she misbehaved and the orphanage thought that no one would want to adopt her.

Generally, Americans have no concept of things in Haiti. You cannot think of it in terms of what would be normal or accepted in the US. And now, after the earthquake, it's even less like American life or standards.

Billl's Mom,

Bill did not go the Haiti to adopt. He went to help with providing medical aid to the disaster victims. As His parents, we have watched and worried as he headed off to El Salvador after massive mudslides caused death and destruction in that country years ago and returned each summer to work in clinics with health care and building projects. Sometimes stories become changed in the telling, in this case, Lauren was actually found in the streets, apparently abandoned at a few months of age, she has been reared for 3 years in a very poor orphanage that was destroyed in the earthquake. Bill has spoken with the pastor who found her and learned than no one in 3 years has come forth to claim her. We, as a family, understand adoption to be a long process and hope everyone's prayers will be with Lauren for health and comfort in the long months ahead while she waits in the new orphanage.

Silva

What a great story and article.

Mc

That is not the true according to the statement by our government on the intercountry adoption page. Parents must have the say whether the child is adopted even after they enter the orphanage. They need to see papers to that effect or documented proof they are dead.

I can't post the link. Would have been nice if it were included in the article or read before this story was printed. How many are going to bombard agencies with calls when adoption isn't possible at this time from Haiti. Even if the featured family met the qualifications. It is too easy in the adoption world to get your heart broken and wallet emptied.

Why can't groups feed the entire family so families are split up to begin with?

Adoption is wonderful and that's what made me a parent. I wish them luck finding a program and match.

Adoption

He is obviously not LDS. If you are LDS and single you cannot adopt. You can even get excommunicated for it.

Re /Adoption

That is simply not true. I know several single LDS people who have adopted children. Your information is incorrect. If they adopted children and were excommunicated, it wasn't because they were single.

@Adoption 1:33

It's sad, but you're 100% correct.

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