Deseret News | Save a Child: Utah group works to find homes for Ukrainian orphans

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Save a Child: Utah group works to find homes for Ukrainian orphans

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Wendy | 2:01 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

When will people learn that kids are not accessories. This is such a sad article!

All you need is love | 6:09 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

"Finally, after days of soul searching and "buckets of tears," Katie has to admit to herself that she can't be the kind of mom she wants to be to Faith, the new baby and two boys who will need to transition to a new language and new culture."

I hope this great-hearted woman Katie, will reconsider. She already loves these boys and they love her and her husband and CONNECT with them.

Thats the part that's the hardest to achieve in cases like this--if emotional connection is there, the rest will come naturally.

My heart hopes these boys and the Ross's get back together.

Murray Skeptic | 6:50 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

Generally I think this is a good thing, but I have 4 problems with it.

1) I don't understand why parents are going out of their way to adopt Ukranians when there are plenty of older foster kids in the United States that need good homes and could be adopted.

2) By simple human nature, these kids have a gang mentality. There are so many of them in Murray they don't try to be assimilated. They only speak to each other and they only play and interact with each other. They may speak basic, broken English at home but that's the only place.

3) Around 80 Ukranian kids in Murray is a big burden on the school district and especially the ESL program. Maybe they could pay for some of the costs the school district incurs (or they can keep letting me and other tax payers subsidize it).

4) It's almost to a point where it is the "cool thing to do" (especially in the LDS community and Mormon peer pressure is a nasty thing). Maybe someone can start a new trend and competing non-profit that adopts inner city Detroit foster kids.

Comments continue below

Anonymous | 7:02 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

My heart aches....truly aches.

Leigh | 7:29 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

Wow, Katie, I hope the boys don't suffer too badly a withdrawal from the fabulous attention they got while here. I can't think of a more devastating "adjustment" than to tell a child they might be getting a family, only then to return to an orphanage with no prospects on the horizon. It seems like a bit of overkill to cram all of these fantastic experiences into these children's lives. Hopefully they'll be able to strive towards adulthood on their own in Ukraine. Statistically, this article states otherwise. Sigh....such a sad story for these two young boys.

Anonymous | 7:33 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

I agree this is a sad article. I can see they are trying to do some good, but over all it just yanked out the hearts of these children.

Dave | 7:38 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

At least they tried. What have you done to help?

BobP | 7:47 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

Enter commentIf I wasn't 69 and retired in a tiny town at the end of the road (literally 50 feet further and you're in the Pacific Ocean.) I would adopt one.

I wish them the best of luck and I will pray for them.

WBM5 | 8:13 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

I would love to have them!!!! I have 4 boys the youngest is 9, 2 are grown. I will take them. This broke my heart. I have little money so how is it possible? I feel as if these boys have been shown a new life to and then sent back as if they are not good enough to have it.

Matt | 8:20 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

Wendy, I understand your argument that it's cruel to "test drive" children before making a decision to adopt them. But perhaps you're unaware that adopting children who aren't infants carries enormous risk, typically in the form of emotional and behavioral problems from the adopted children. If correctable, these problems can take years to overcome.

In addition, there are myriad steps (and costs) to adopt a child from a foreign country, let alone this country, that a family also must go through. Also, there are no guarantees that the family will be successful in adopting the child. Knowing that there are families willing to take on the risk adopting older children and go through the lengthy and costly adoption process brightens my day.

Anonymous | 8:21 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

amen Murray skeptic it is the fad in Murray, I am worried about a Ukrainian mafia as this kids grow up.

Heather | 8:31 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

I cried as I read this. I understand Murray skeptic's point of view however when one child is saved many are influenced through their future life. It doesn't matter whether they are from Murray, Detriot, Africa or Ukraine they are equally as important. I am sorry that people think they are too old to have a child. When I was born my mom was 44 yrs old and my dad was 49. You are never to old to love a child! Because of having children when they were "old" they are younger at heart and physically than their peers.

Sigh | 8:34 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

Usually I'm not fond of the negative comments that I find after reading a touching article. But, the above comments are true. Maybe there does need to be a program from inner cities in the USA.

Touching article. I hope the Ukranian children had a memorable experience.

skooby | 8:39 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

I think those poor kids won't understand, especially cause of the language barrier. They will go away thinking they aren't good enough. Its like taking an ice cream away from my kids when they take a spoonful.

I think the foundation needs to rethink what mental anguish they are imposing...

ron | 8:55 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

to skeptic....yea, get a kid from detroit that knows how to make his bed and honors his parents to- be. good luck!!!

BobP | 9:12 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

You can have problems with your own kids, so cahnces can be taken.

I have three sons and a daughter (the oldest). We had her and thought there would be no more my wife was type I diabetic and miscarred. We then adopted a sone at age 1. We went on to have two more the ordinary way.

There was one difference. With our three naturaul children we got what God sent. With the adopted one we had a choice, but God sent him to us.

Crying | 9:21 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

I cried when I read this article and I am still crying. These boys seem so cute and wonderful and bonded so well with the family. I am at a loss to how anyone could look them in the eye and say goodbye to them, knowing what they will be returning to.

Reply to Murray Skeptic | 9:29 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

I am from Detroit so I am well aware if the sad situation of many of the inner city children that are living there, with that said, does it matter where the kids are coming from as long as they are well taken care of or adopted?

Sammy | 9:30 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

Great Article. It is sad anytime there is a pain and suffering.

We can all learn to shower love on others...especially our own families, wives, and kids.

Who are you yelling at today? Who do you need to forgive? Do your best to be better.

Hopefully the people in the Ukraine can start loving others more and providing safe homes for their own children too.

Life is beautiful.

Anonymous | 9:45 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

The problem that I see with this, and I do believe the host families have good intentions, is that what these children need is help improving their siuations IN THEIR COUNTRIES, that is where the help should be based, so they can have pride in their own heritage and improve the sad situation THERE.

K | 9:47 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

To Murry.

The US comment bothers me. Children are human beings, not a buy American product. You are objectifying children and being a bit nationalistic with that remark. Go ahead and adopt older kids from the US. In fact it is an easier thing to do than internationally adopt as you don't need to have a small number of children in the home or be childless, be married, make a large income, etc... The truth of the matter is there are many more American's qualified to adopt domestically than there are kids available. One third of kids in foster care aren't available to be adopted. They still are attached to parents. The point is there are many kids in Ukraine that will never find a home because there aren't the famlies locally able to adopt these kids and not many foreigners would be eligible with marriage, income, number of kids in the home requirements.

Save a child. If you want to save a child improve their lives. If you want to grow a family adopt. Bad name.

There were 457 adoptions from Ukraine. Hardly going to impact US foster care numbers.

optimistic | 9:51 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

I think that this looks like a great program. This family is obviously very tender hearted.

K | 9:53 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

Burden. They are not a burden. They US citizens upon entry to this country as they have been adopted by American's according to a law signed by former President Bill Clinton. The adoptive parents got advanced permission to adopt an orphan through the proper US immigrant process including paying application fees/fingerprinting/etc. They are not allowed a VISA for their child and are not able to adopt if they don't have these approvals in place. They are as if born abroad and raised for years outside the US returning home with their US parents needing language services. The US adoptive parents pay taxes and as such are entitled to services they have already paid for for all their children born or adopted.

This is not an illegal resident issue going around proces. breaking the law, and not paying taxes yet using services.

Joelyn | 9:59 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

I am a neighbor and friend of the Ross's and been privelaged to be involved with them in this journey. These children were not being "test driven", never being told they may potentially be adopted but given an opportunity to see America and live with a loving family. Is it better for them to have never felt love? I know the heartache and prayers that went into the decision that now was not the right time them to join the Ross family. Hopefully for someone reading this it will be the right time and they can contact the foundation for more info. Your lives will be blessed. For those who are sitting in their warm homes, in front of their computers, please get involved and do something for others lives to be blessed instead of passing judgement on those who try.

Anonymous | 10:12 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

"to skeptic....yea, get a kid from detroit that knows how to make his bed and honors his parents to-be. good luck!!!"

I wonder Ron, What is it about an Detroit child that makes it so they can't be taught these things???

Observer55 | 10:59 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

Why is so much money and paper work involved? Bureaucratic baloney that can be only partially justified. In prisons there is a saying among inmates, "You helped me until you hurt me." Sounds like it works in this program too. There are probably a lot of kids in Utah that need help, why not help them instead of drafting kids into a program with a hidden motive of gaining more converts to the LDS Church. Americans are wonderful about such programs, but are very short on follow thru and follow up. What kind of real follow up assistance is there for these kids? Money, health care, translators, assessment, programming?
Too much like the old adopt an Native American program, which was a pretty good program, but tended to lose the adoptee's heritage.

Take a chance | 11:14 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

To the skeptic, what a selfish person you are. What if the roles were reversed, how would you feel. What a sad, sorry person you are.

the barnes' | 11:55 a.m. Nov. 10, 2009

We met the Garretts when we were on our own adoptive journey. They saw miracles happen to get their children and are just trying to have miracles happen for more children in Ukraine. (And seeing them!)
We don't know WHY we were led to a foreign country for our last two boys, but we know we got the ones intended to be ours. A little faith here. The Lord knows who he wants in each family, it is usually up to us to take the steps to get them there.
(BTW, I was nearly 49 and already had had 7 children. Both our adoptive boys were considered "older" as well.)

adoption... | 12:13 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

so... how many of these kids were placed in gay couple's homes? oh, wait - I forgot - they aren't suitable parents - better the kids go back and join gangs in Ukraine....

i'm surprised any kids get sent back - seems like a good way to build the mormon ranks...

and to "take a chance" at 11:14am - why is it selfish for the other poster to suggest that american orphans get adopted? shouldn't you be helping your fellow americans before outsourcing to Ukraine? aren't mormon republicans all against outsourcing overseas?

gh | 12:48 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

To Observer55, it is hard not to lose some of an adoptees heritage when they are adopted. If that were not so the adoptive family would be holding back and treating that adopted child differently than the other children in the family. So your solution is to make sure they keep their own heritage intact - even if they have no family and end up on the streets? At least they have their heritage that way!

dlbt | 1:14 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

The government in the Ukraine needs to step up and solve these social problems that keep creating orphans like this! I can't count the number of families I know personally who have adopted children from the Ukraine, or who are being temporary foster parents for kids from the Ukraine. It is like Ukraine is running a "kid mill" no different than the "puppy mills" that are so sickening! The more we Americans continue to enable this instead of holding Ukrainian leaders responsible to fix their own mess, the more it will continue!

Heritage? | 1:19 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

Should I be upset at my ancestors for coming to the USA from Britain? I had no choice and they robbed me of my heritage! My ancestory is still English just like these kids will still have thier Ukranian ancestory. So what, if, as adults, they are not culturally Ukranian?

And thank you to all the LDS church growth conspiracy theories. That stuff just makes me laugh.

K | 1:24 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

So maybe if the kids were apt to think of their stay here as a "vacation", my heart isn't breaking so much for them.

I just hope they didn't know that they were being test-driven.
(As right or as wrong as you see that phrase.)

It would be cruel to take them to all those exciting places and then send them away. But I guess if they thought it was just a special trip...

Cast No Stones | 1:39 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

To the skeptics: Don't condemn or judge the people who are trying to make a difference and do good in the world. I have friends who children are all adopted. It's sometimes harder to find a US-born child than a foreign born child. Whatever the origin of birth, it becomes quickly apparent that most of the time the right children get matched up with the right parents--that it was meant to be. It's easier to condemn than to be in the trenches making the world a better place.

anon | 2:17 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

what does it matter where these kids come from? Detroit or the Ukraine or if they are adopted into a gay family? Also, this has nothing to do with the Mormon church.it is about taking care of children. I doubt too many gay peope have tried to adopt those children from Detroit.

Anonymous | 3:36 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

How do Katie and Shawn know that the family in Idaho has decided they're too old to adopt such young, energetic children? I think it's sad to let the boys go to another family when that family doesn't want them.

I'm glad the Ukranian children had a good experience here in America and that there's a bright future for most of them.

Thank you | 4:12 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

for this article. I am tired of reading garbage such as the discrimination against homosexuals. Finally we can read about people who are blessing the lives of others. I see several posts from homosexuals claiming that this is nothing but an attempt to grow the membership of the LDS Church. You could never qualify to adopt children such as these because all you care about is yourself.

Wake up! | 4:14 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

This is so silly. I can't believe the negativity going on here. This story is about 2 children that need a home, not about Ukraine politics, or US politics, or Mormons. They are going back to a country where they have no future and no one here cares. What a sad place an orphanage must be. And I don't know of a single institution in our country that would turn kids out at 16 to fend for themselves with no further assistance offered. These are caring, feeling, boys that need love. I'd adopt them in a heartbeat if it wasn't so expensive. Money makes the world go round and also ruins the lives of these boys and many other children, wherever they may be. Remember that these boys did not choose their life, their country, their parents, their situation. They need help and we should help because they are children. Don't be so negative to these little ones. And if you have the means, but not the situation in life to adopt, help those of us who would adopt if we had the means.

Adopting | 4:14 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

Just so you know (especially Murray Skeptic) I happen to be adopting one of these children, not because I went looking but because they touched my heart. Foster kids are usually not adoptable and those that are have major issues, so if you have other children (which I do) this is a problem. I pay taxes, in fact I pay the upper tier of taxes, so I will be paying the taxes for his education. Can you say the same of all the illegal alien children in our school (of which there are much more than 80)? I'm not mormon, my child will learn english and will be just like any other child here but with a rich heritage that we all get to learn from. Don't judge when you aren't in the boat.
Also for those that don't know these kids are brought over on a "vacation" they are told and told before they come over that this is merely a vacation and not to get any wrong ideas. I know that is easier said than done, but it is done with that intent and the kids are aware of this. I love my Child

A little background | 4:32 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

A little background might be nice. Adoption laws between the two countries normally require that the adoptive parents make two visits: one to get to know the child, and then a separate visit to come back and adopt the child. This is a huge burden, and many otherwise qualified adoptive parents wouldn't be able to afford this travel cost. Organizations like the one discussed in this article help overcome this burden by bringing the children to the US. This counts as one of the required visits. So the children come to the US knowing that they will have to go home. They CAN'T stay, because the law won't allow it. If the prospective parents want to adopt after this visit, they can begin the paperwork and travel back to the country to adopt the children legally in the country.

We did some research into international adoption a few years ago, and I think that programs like this one are very helpful in overcoming some of the cost burdens that are involved in some of these international adoption cases.

Anybody who tries to help any child - from any country - wins big points in my book.

Excellent | 4:41 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

article and excellent pictures Chen....

Anonymous | 4:57 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

Foster children are very adoptable. The primary goal for fostering is reunification with their biological family, but we have many children here in Utah who are in foster care who are in need of adoptive homes. Yes foster children can have issues and challenges, but children coming from orphanages in other countries often have similar issues and challenges. There is no one right or wrong way to adopt a child. There are many opportunities to do so. Those who feel we should be focusing on children here, there are many programs through non profit agencies that help us find homes for our children in need. Adopt US Kids is one of them and The Adoption Exchange is another. Both are on the web and can be easily searched. For those looking to foreign adoption, there are obviously children in need all around the world. Each must do what they feel is right. But the most important thing that must be remembered is, that everyone involved should always do what is in the best interest of the child(ren).

Surprising | 5:32 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

I am surprised that a program like this exists: where kids from Ukarine are sent to the US for a few weeks with hopes of being adopted. Although I admire the "host families" for their kindness and am happy many of these children have found homes, it seems that the cultural and social shock may make things worse. i.e. you can always be happy if you don't know what you are missing. What a tough situation for all those involved.
I was touched by the article and enjoyed the pictures and video.

Anonymous | 5:33 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

Foster children are adoptable. Yes the primary goal for children in foster care is reunification with their biological family. However, when that is not possible they are adopted. We have many children in the state of UT who are legally free now, or have a goal of adoption who are in need of an adoptive home. It's true that many children in foster care do have issues and challenges that can be concerning. Children from orphanages often have similar challenges and issues as well. There is no right or wrong way to adopt a child. For those who think we should focus on children here, there are many agencies throughout the country who are doing just that. To find children in need you can go to Adopt US Kids or The Adoption Exchange as just a couple of examples. For those adopting from another country, it's obvious those children are in need as well. Every child deserves a family. The most important thing to remember is the children's needs should come first, their best interest should always be the priority for all who are involved in helping these children find permanent families.

Cruel & Inhumane | 5:39 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

The laws are so complex that what has been done will give false hope to many children. Parents, I have been involved with Russian adopted children for years and you have no idea of the heartaches you will face, I swear. Be prepared for serious challenges you never dreamed of.

me | 6:07 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

This brought tears to my eyes. It would be so hard to let them go back to an uncertain future. I hope this program catches on like wildfire to help Save the Children. We are all God's children, they just happened to be born into an poor circumstances beyond their control !!!

Florida Friends | 7:00 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

Well Done, Shawn and Katie...WELL DONE. I have some dear friends who adopted two Ukrainian children about 10 years ago. Yes - there are struggles at first, but the reward now is so great! They are 16 years old now - a Priest and a Laurel.

Shawn and Katie - yes...there are angels in heaven. But there are also angels on earth - like the Ross Family. I could tell by the video that you truly could "not see another's lack and I not share." God bless you in your future as you give of your time and talents to help others less fortunate.

Adopted! | 11:14 p.m. Nov. 10, 2009

It's interesting that in this supposedly educated and civilized country everything calls for a passionate debate. Not many of you know what you are talking about it because you have not studied the topic under its many facets. I was adopted at the age of nine. Because of this I became a rather polished and educated and loving mother. My birth sisters who were not as lucky were not quite able to become so. I have participated in this program and will be adopting the 14 yr old girl I hosted. I love her as my own. Anyone who has the sensitivity and willingness to turn their lives upside down for another needs to be applauded. It requires great wisdom to know what to do. This couple is using wisdom. Also, did anybody pay attention? These children were told of a cultural exchange and not of an eventual adoption. And to the ones who suggested Ukrainian Mafia and ESL burdens, what little vision you hold for humanity! All of us went with this program because it is where our destiny led us, not b/c of prejudices against anyone. This program is what it is, nothing more, nothing less!

Proud | 12:54 a.m. Nov. 11, 2009

Wow! Even after reading through some of the misguided comments by some on this comment board, I only have a few short things to say: The world needs more people like the Rosses. Whether you get these boys or not, thanks for putting forth such a loving effort. Our family wishes you the best. I need to reevaluate my life and open myself up to more compassion and focus on things like this that really matter. To the writer and photographer: Thanks for capturing something and communicating it in such a moving way. My heart and mind were affected.

normal utahn | 1:10 a.m. Nov. 11, 2009

Let me start by saying, I'm not adopting one of these children. I'll probably never adopt. I'm not for or against the Mormon church. I'm not gay, but I'm also not against gays having children. I pay taxes. I live a couple minutes outside Murray and have no fears of a future Ukrainian mafia.

I have however been to Ukraine. I spent a month in one of the orphanages where some of these children live, and the trip was completely independent of this foundation, or any other foundation for that matter. I did it on my own.

Sure these kids will struggle, but they've never had a mom and dad. No one to feed them, change their diaper, hold them when they're sick, or have a birthday party for them.

I took some orphans to a movie and a boy who'd saved and saved bought ME a coke. A girl put her one cookie a week in her pocket and waited for ME to arrive to give it to me.

I saw dreams, love, and hope in those eyes. (not mafia) Keep it up Save a Child, and all families involved.

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