Deseret News | Disabled boy allegedly was chained to couch

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Disabled boy allegedly was chained to couch

How sad for the kids | 12:21 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

Every day it seems we read of a child being abused in some way. Either they are neglected, such as this boy, or they are beaten or sexually abused. It makes me wonder what in the world is going on! Have we as a society lost the caring and compassion it takes to care for children or handicapped people? Such care requires unselfishness on the part of the caregiver, a willingness to give of himself or herself in the interest of someone else. How about the grandmother who was urinated on recently by her grandsons?! Unbelievable! I don't know if parents are failing to teach their children love, compassion and responsibility (especially by example), or if something in society (media, video games, etc.) has hardened us to the needs of those who most require our love and kindness. I don't know the answer, but it is a very sad situation. I hope these kids will be OK.

Eyes on the news | 12:27 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

Where is the Division of Services for People with disabilities? Why is DSPD not saying nothing about this issues. It seems that every week in the news there is something something happening to the Utah disable. It is time that Mr DSPD director should start taking respectability about all the changes that he is making and affecting the lives of the Utah disable.

Cali Martin | 12:37 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

Where is CPS? What are they doing after the fact?? Sad enough, like previous commentator , children need US more than ever!!

Comments continue below

sharen | 12:46 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

well its a darn shame that the system does not work when its really needed! EDUCATION!! geez!

Questioner | 1:45 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

While the neglect is terrible, I wonder about the situation of the uncle. I'm guessing he's taken stewardship of other people's children and is working to keep them safe while also earning a living. It is very difficult to find daycare or babysitting for children who are severely disabled without a lot of money. If he's not wealthy I'd say it's possible he was desperately trying to find a solution the best way he could -- with little resources or support. I feel bad for him as well and think this raises an often unaddressed issue in our society.

Mr Reasonable | 1:49 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

Mother unable to care for the children, father runs away, grandmother unable to care for the boy, so an uncle steps up. I, for one, will give him the benefit of the doubt until FACTS and DETAILS come out. The only thing we know for sure is that he was chained up to a couch and the he is SEVERELY mentally disabled. I remember my brother who has down syndrome when he was in his teens, he had to be constantly watched every minute of the day. And when he wasn't, he created havoc. They are funny stories to look back on, but they weren't always that funny at the time. Don't get me wrong, we never chained him up, but a lot of that is because he was the middle child of 6 children and had a stay at home mom and we were well off financially so that we did, from time to time, pay professional care givers to watch him. All I am trying to say is that maybe this man was not trying to abuse but was doing the best he could with what he has to work with.

Warren | 1:55 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

Based on this article, I think the system worked just fine. A problem was spotted, reported and the child removed. What more could you ask for? Maybe we should install government cameras in every home and be monitored 24/7 how we interact with our family members.

J DUB | 2:10 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

What if this kid is so challenged that he doesn't really care if he's sitting on a couch in the living room, a bench in a garden, or a chair in an empty room? What if he's so far out there that none of this matters to him? What if he's in a mental state where he's rendered incapable of using the bathroom - or communicating the need to - on his own? I mean, adult diapers exist for a reason - they weren't developed out of a desire for cruelty. Some people can neither use the restroom on their own nor convey the message they need help. It may be like caring for a full grown baby?

Anonymous | 2:23 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

There is no reason that grandmother should not be arrested also. She knew what was going on, she saw it daily. That is abuse on so many levels. If she was not able to care for him, she should have said so and not allowed the boy to come to her house every day to be treated in such a manner. And... doing the best he could??? That is abuse. I would like to see you chained up for your whole life and see how you end up. There are trainned professionals to help children like this.

Correction | 2:23 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

When discussing a person with a disability, you are supposed to put the person first, not the disability of that individual. So, you don't say, "disabled boy", you ought to say, "a boy with a disablity". We need to put the individual first!!! Aside from that, what a terrible story.

How do we fix this? | 3:00 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

What does a single parent or guardian do in cases like this? Who takes care of the child when the parent has to go to work?

How could this person have handled this situation better?

Dear Correction | 3:47 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

The word "disabled" is a perfectly fine adjective, and there's nothing wrong with saying "disabled boy".

Questioner asked: "I wonder about the situation of the uncle."

Me, too. If this is an official set-up, he should be assistance from the state and SSDI. If the grandmother is so old/disabled she can't help, se's probably on SSDI or Social Security, too.

There *should be* income here, for the purpose of paying the expenses of the disabled boy.

Don't take this wrong, but: | 3:56 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

The boy that was chained in a living room probably was given food and had possibly the tv for entertainment. It may have been used so the boy would not hurt himself or others, I don't think he was personally being hurt or abandoned. If he was severely disabled, most likely he could not use a restroom and does need a diaper. I watched a severely disabled child before and after two hours of baby sitting I was exhausted. The child had to wear diapers, she could not speak just mumbled sounds and drooled. She could not feed herself had to be helped up and down, she was extremely heavy because they don't hold themselves well and its like dead weight. Professionals to help with people in these situations are costly.

Geraldine | 4:44 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

I commend those who have shown such compassion for the caretaker. It appears he was probably doing the very best he could under the circumstances. This is where we the people need to step up and offer help and not condemnation.

JS | 10:29 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

Having taken care of a disabled grandson..

I agree with Geraldine @ 4:44

Wait for all the facts on this story to come in before making judgement...

KW | 11:37 p.m. Oct. 15, 2009

From the caretaker's name, I'm guessing he may be an immigrant with poor English skills and little knowledge of the resources available. So he might have very well not known there was help and not known how to ask for it if there was. It sounds like he was also caring for a disabled mother.

Add to that the fact that it was a repair man who reported matters. That implies they didn't try to hide. That seems to suggest a lack of understanding that this would be viewed as criminal treatment of a child.

While I'm glad the matter is being taken seriously and that the children were removed until things can be checked out, I'm hoping it will be found that the uncle was trying to do his best in an incredibly difficult situation -- and that he will be given the help and resources to do better.

to kw | 5:14 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

Resources available? You are joking, right?

Family oriented | 5:23 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

What most people don't seem to think of is that in other countries there is a family bond that caring for each other is their only resource.

Although I don't think roping and chaining any person is right, he had no resources. The real abuse was done by the parents of the boy for abandoning him and discarding him like a bad dream.

It is very easy for an outsider to pass judgment but this is a life of constant struggle for any care taker of the disabled. That is why we see our elderly sent to homes to die and struggle rather than have family care for them. Our society has not only abandoned the disabled, we have abandoned our own parents.

Even in care facilities that are supposed to be staffed with professional care takers abuse the individuals in them. Lock them in rooms, tie them down, and put them in diapers for toiletry access. Even under the observation and recommendations of doctors and nurses. To add insult to injury, they are drugged in to passive submission.

Now tell me how this mans actions are any different than what the rest of us hide from.

disillusioned | 7:21 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

1. It is FAR more appropriate to say "child with a disability". So, all those disagreeing with that, are wrong. I've worked with people with disabilities for 15 years.

2. I agree that it may be highly likely that this family may be immigrants. The issue there is that they may not have KNOWN what educational and other services are out there for families like their own. Whatever school district they are in has a LEGAL responsibility to "child find"--to find children just like this young man and offer education.

3. The Division of Services for People with Disabilities is an incredibly financially strapped entity in UT....as is most any state run service. They DO NOT deal with abuse/neglect situations. That is for the Division of Children and Families. Now that this has been found, it is hoped that a case worker is assigned who has training with families dealing with immigration and disability. Likelihood of that happening, not high, as many case workers in UT have huge case loads, and VERY little if any training in people with disabilities.

4. None of this, though, excuses the fact that chaining ANYONE up, is wrong!!!!

mike | 8:41 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

Eishhhhhhhh the uncle is very cruel.

KY Mom | 8:56 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

If this man is the only breadwinner for the grandmother, two boys and himself, who is going to pay his rent, utilities and other things while they keep him in custody? It is obvious that he needed help, and felt he was the last family member able to handle the needs of these relatives in the best way he could and still provide for them. This is a situation that could use all the government programs available; subsidized housing, food stamps, medical programs, etc. I don't mind paying taxes when it can help people in these difficult situations.

give him a break | 9:08 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

Maybe, the uncle was in a financial bind to find a caregiver for his nephew(s). These days, when we apply for benefits, we make TOO MUCH money and we are over the income limit. Even if he applied for anything, he would have to WAIT for papers to be filed...and so on.

THE UNCLE WAS DOING HIS VERY BEST TO CARE FOR HIS FAMILY, aside the fact that BOTH parents ran away to ignore THEIR own KIDS. Top it off, the grandmother is there, to keep the family together.

lets see/don't wreck uncles life | 9:17 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

I am sure there will be numerous Utah homes who will step up and tenderly care for this teenager. Or he will be placed in a loving facility where he will receive the help he needs. (HA). I will not pass any judgement on this uncle because only he knows what he was capable of handling. Go after mothers who leave their infants in seats so many hours a day until their heads go flat. Oh, and public schools make children sit in hard chairs for hours! Can you imagine! One teacher was heard saying she would "crazy glue a kids behind, if he didn't stay in his seat". My grown teens admit they were often horrid at times.They climbed out windows at night. One asks "Gee mom...why didn't you just chain me to my bed?" Well, I did not want to be arrested. But some of them probably needed it. I think this man did his best given the situation. It will be better news when people with severe dissabilities and cultural barriers, receive the day care, respid care and resources they need. Not in this economy.Not Utopia...Utah and real life.

Uncle | 9:22 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

The uncle looks very very tired in the photo. Sad to think this may actually be a relief to him. Maybe with all of this media the boy will receive some assistance and day care, and the uncle will have a much needed break. I will never judge this man until I have taken on his responsibilities and walked awhile in his shoes. Now..What was it they just said in women's conference a few weeks ago about charity? For every neighbor.

Don't Judge | 9:30 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

I think some of you are too quick to judge this Uncle. He sounds like a good man who was doing the best he could with a situation that was dropped into his lap. If the restricting device placed on the kid (i.e. chain) did not cause injury but instead prevented injury then it is not a bad thing. Almost all parents restrict their children using devices of some type (play pens, high chairs, strollers, walkers, etc.) for the protection of the kid until they are of an age to no longer need it.

Before so many of you unfairly judge this poor man as being worthy of a public flogging I suggest you step back and consider the entire situation. Perhaps this man is more hero than beast!!!

Weak up | 9:33 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

There is not resources available. DSPD CPS and other institutions had been going through budget cuts. I predict more problems will come as we move from a compassionate and caring people state to a not caring people state. Thanks to politicians and bureaucrats.

Eyes on the news | 9:41 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

"This is a situation that could use all the government programs available; subsidized housing, food stamps, medical programs, etc. I don't mind paying taxes when it can help people in these difficult situations". Weak up to what is going on with the budget appropriation legislator committee. They did cut DSPD, CPS, and other government programs to assist the needed specially the Division of Services for People with disabilities. Disable people can't get services at all if they are not presently receiving services. Tax payers need to weak up and see what politicians and bureaucrats are doing specially for the most needed of our society.

Not an easy call | 9:47 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

I would like to know what resources -- if any -- were available to this man, who apparently stepped up when the boy's parents left. The News should do a follow up, because I wonder, with budget cuts, whether there really was any help available to him.

Family Needs Help | 10:07 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

The uncle probably had the best of intentions, but what he did was dangerous. If there had been a fire or other emergency in the home, that chained boy would have no way to escape. I suspect the uncle and other family members just need to be given more training about how to handle the situation appropriately. Many other families deal with exactly the same situation with their children, WITHOUT resorting to chains or other inappropriate restraints.

Anonymous | 10:35 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

It is nice to know that people that don't know the situation have all the answers and do nothing but sit back and criticize. The story said the boy if he got out chased people. It sounds like the man was doing the best he could to protect not only the boy but those around him. Were their cuts or bruises from the rope? Nothing is reported. Maybe it wasn't great that he was restrained. But what I see is a man that is trying his best to help his nephew and those around him and provide for his family. What a shame so many people can only criticize. Until you have walked a mile in his shoes, you have no right to criticize.

Adeimantus | 11:13 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

I agree--I think the poor guy was probably doing the best he could. Maybe there was a better solution and what he did was rather blockheaded, but until the facts come out and there's evidence of intended harm, he deserves the benefit of the doubt.

Too Quick to Judge | 11:29 a.m. Oct. 16, 2009

Reasonable restraints and saving a child from harm are not abuse. What would you have used, silly string? Just because you wouldn't like to be chained to your couch and you know how to use the bathroom doesn't make you able to judge this father's actions. He still had to work! The grandmother wasn't able to chase this kid down but she could take care of some needs. How would you feel if the kid got loose and harmed a younger neighbor child? The man would have been arrested for that too. This man isn't guilty of anything. He just has a lot tougher challenge to deal with than any of you idiots. How many disabled people have you tried to care for? Have you done this alone?

State resources are not enough. Our government keeps cutting services that were already inadequate. Ask anyone who has been a foster parent for more than 1 month.

NOT GUILTY!

CONFUSED!!!!!!!!! | 12:58 p.m. Oct. 16, 2009

As I read all the comments I see how people can see what he did as (the best he could do)but come on, being chained to anything isn't right even for an animal! Lets just see it for what it is! However you want to look at it ,ABUSE IS ABUSE!!!There is always another way

we care - | 1:33 p.m. Oct. 16, 2009

for a disabled daughter. It is not easy, in fact it is very difficult. Before you judge this man walk a mile in his shoes. It's very easy to criticize when you don't know how it is. Caring for anyone with a disability is very difficult. We have never chained our daughter to a piece of furniture, but we have restrained her, locked her in her bedroom, taken other specific steps for her own protection. Everything always done with love in our hearts and for her own protection. Never have we relied on the government for her care. Please do not judge.

Eye in the news | 1:51 p.m. Oct. 16, 2009

Sad situation... Look into the appropiation legislators commitee and budget cuts for the Department of Human Services 2008/2009. They are the same legislators that wanted to close the Department of Health. When elected officials do not care for its own sitizens the result will be a disfunctional society. Just look at the growing homeless in our state. SAD SAD SAD

to confused | 1:57 p.m. Oct. 16, 2009

Can tell you have never dealt with a severely retarded but mobile person 24/7, let alone ALSO having to work to support one.
And I suppose chaining a dog is also abuse. What about putting a cow into a milking stanchion or a horse in a stall. How about fastening a baby in a car seat? GET REAL!

CONFUSED!!!! | 2:37 p.m. Oct. 16, 2009

In responce to WE CARE. You're right I haven't walked in your shoes but, Ive walked in mine! I adopted a child who was severly mentally disabled and your right about finding LOVING ways to restrain them but what occured in this situation has NO signs of love involved.Its abuse and its not right. You of all people should see that

HELP | 2:54 p.m. Oct. 16, 2009

IF YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS KIND OF THING REPORT IT! iF YOU KNOW GOD WANTS YOU TO KNOW SO YOU CAB HELP. :)

South SL needs to re-consider | 3:08 p.m. Oct. 16, 2009

This guy isn't even related to the boy. The father took off, the mother apparently is in a Utah mental institution.

He didn't even need to take care of this boy, but he did. He tied him up when going to work, so the boy wouldn't chase people while he was gone. This guy is a nice guy for giving the support that he did.

Once again I see South Salt Lake on the wrong side of a prosecution.

I hope they reconsider.

CONFUSED!!!!! | 3:17 p.m. Oct. 16, 2009

A CHAIN AROUND AN ANKLE IS NOT ACCETABLE NOR HUMANE! So if you think its ok to treat your adult child like that you should be reported.So no, you GET REAL!

Not Asleep | 3:26 p.m. Oct. 16, 2009

Mr Reasonable, Questionable:

Having some experience with this, these posters are not far from the truth. It sounds like the news media paints a cliche picture that looks horrible on the face but underneath they do not know the difficulty. It is very possible that the uncle was stepping up best he knew how. The boy we watched for a couple months was so strong we had to restrain him. Back in the 70's it was not abuse, it was necessary because he could hurt. Anyway, my point is please don't make a rash judgment on this man who probably was trying to provide and care and work all at the same time.

Mental Patients | 4:39 p.m. Oct. 16, 2009

Are'nt mental patients restrained with leather straps sometimes even ankles, body, hands tied upetc. Where are the complaints about that.

Eye in the news | 9:13 p.m. Oct. 16, 2009

The State and society are guilty as charge. The state because it failed to support this family and this disable child. The society because it does not care if the politicians and burecrats keep destroying the social programs that support and protect the most bunerable members of our society.

becoming a sissy nation | 12:49 a.m. Oct. 17, 2009

Hey, is it abuse to chain someone or put handcuffs on them in order to protect the police? or the jail staff? Does that fact that the person MIGHT be guilty of something make it not abusive?

We are going too far on this abuse stuff in my opinion. Everything is abuse now.

You can restrain someone for their own safety. Mental health professionals do it to patients and they drug them too. Oh, isn't that what we are doing to our active little children. They have the mental health label of ADD or ADHD so that makes it okay to drug them to change their behavior.

It is interesting that we cannot lock our own children in cages to keep them safe but the police can do it and it is okay. What is juvenille detention? or jail?

Shall we give it a little thought here and see the hypocrisy?

Eye on the news | 7:36 p.m. Oct. 17, 2009

There is better ways to manage a negative behavior.
Chain a disable person is abuse. What ever you may said or think. Sadly this man will be facing the law. But see this is my point. The institutions that were suppose to protect and support this child are ok and quiet. That is a shame

rightsfordisabled | 7:23 p.m. Nov. 8, 2009

I would have to agree with the many caregivers who have posted in reaffirming that caring for a disabled person is a complicated, overwhelming job and it is very hard to judge each situation. As for the government agencies not doing their job...we are currently on the "waiting list" to even be considered for such services and they have told us it could be ten years or longer because of budget cuts and because there are SO MANY in need of services. Seriously. If this story appalls you, vote for a larger budget for these programs.

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