Deseret News | Persevere when it comes to 'Family Nights'

Reader comments
Persevere when it comes to 'Family Nights'

Toby | 12:12 a.m. Oct. 11, 2009

Every night should be family night. This is the problem with the church and church callings--taking family away from one another. The church has created this problem and the need for family nights.

Re: Toby | 1:24 a.m. Oct. 11, 2009

Want some cheese with that whine? Get over it Brother and buck up!

Jagger | 8:28 a.m. Oct. 11, 2009

In response to Toby, FHE is not just a day of the week to be with your family (although some probably use it that way). I agree every night should be a "family night" and church callings do get in the way once in awhile. But FHE was set up for "prayer ... hymns ... family topics ... and specific instruction on the principles of the gospel." Its more than just being with your family.

Comments continue below

Anonymous | 12:30 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

We do family nights, and we are not even mormon.

Anonymous | 12:51 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

Toby is right. Athough he could articulate them a little better; I fully agree with the point in the commenters sediments. I want to follow Christ but also have time with my family. Is that to much to ask the church without getting a guilt trip?

Fly_on_the_wall | 1:37 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

FHE an extension of Sunday worship. Sounds great and works great until kids start to think for themselves.

After raising 4 kids I found that being there with them and actually LISTEN to them WHEN THEY ARE READY does far more good then PREACHING on Monday nights then running off to church meetings on Tuesday, Temple on Wednesday, HT/VT/welfare assignments Thursday, Date with spouse Friday. Then spend Saturday devoted to preparation for Sunday (lessons etc.)

Sally | 1:38 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

BORING! Kids see through this as just another attempt to force religion down their throats. It is totally counter to how REAL family evenings are enjoyed and meant to be.

Anonymous | 1:42 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

Bonding in the family requires more than persevering over lessons, etc Do things together. Kids don't want a lecture, they want real parents helping them learn new skills, and encouraging them in the process. Get the authority hat off and put the mentor hat on.

Thankful | 4:38 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

I was always thankful that my father was not a member of the church so we didn't have to put up with that extra nonsense. Going to church provided enough religion and the family provided the love and guidance. I really think that the LDS church over does it.

Anonymous | 4:43 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

The church proclaims to be an advocate of the family, yet I have little time to spend with them with all my obligations. Does anybody else see this as an issue?

Chris | 5:17 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

Great article. FHE can be difficult with the many competing activities that pull families away from the home. Currently, I have soccer, high school football and high school volleyball vying for my children's time. Then there are book clubs, working out with friends, taking college courses and other things that I can do. I find it takes dedication to spend that FHE time together when there are so many good things competing for our time. Time committments with church are not as pressing as everything else I have to deal with.

Robert the Robot | 6:07 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

I agree about the time commitments. I wanted to ask to be released from my callings and it almost cost me my marriage. There is certainly something not right in the culture of the church. We are cursed if we do and cursed if we don't. I am just resigned to go throught the motions at this point.

Anonymous | 6:20 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

Are parents really that self absorbed and neglectful that FHE is needed? Come on, take time and spend it with your family everyday. I find this very telling of many of my neighbors.

Mark | 6:44 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

Anonymous at 6:20: Each day, I get home from work, help my wife with dinner, play with the kids, help clean up, help the kids get ready for bed, read with them, and then enjoy some time with my wife. But having a time on monday night set aside for FHE is great, because we also have a little lesson on faith or prayer, and maybe go get a treat or something. But you're saying that I'm self absorbed and neglectful? Should this be very telling of you?

ALL AMERICAN HAWK | 8:36 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

WE HAD DIFFICULTY WITH FHE,THEN ALONG CAME "DANCING
WITH THE STARS." WE ARE NOW TOGETHER ON MONDAY NIGHTS ROOTING ON OUR FAVORITE COUPLES.I MUTE THE COMMERCIALS AND INJECT SOMETHING ABOUT CHURCH HISTORY,THE SCRIPTURES OR EVEN THE SHOW'S UTAH CONNECTIONS.THE KIDS ARE WELL VERSED IN THE SCRIPTURES AND VERY ACTIVE IN THE CHURCH,SO THIS WORKS FOR US.

Michele | 8:47 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

This is to Chris and to Robert the Robot. I am really sorry that this is how you feel. Elder Bednar has spoken often about "Good, Better, and Best." All of those time committments that you talked about are good things, yet none of them will assist you in reaching the celestial kingdom, your family will, however. It is easy to get overwhelmed. I've been there, too. FHE is designed to strengthen your family, not detract from it. No offense, but maybe reviewing some of Elder Bednar's recent talks would help, they help me.

janana | 8:58 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

I love it! I'm going to start doing the same thing and continue on through American Idol. I am down to just 1 18 year old daughter and it is hard to have FHE with just one "adult" child at home. But to those others who complain about the "need" for FHE. I felt the same as you all when my children were younger. We had wonderful times but few formal FHE. We were active in many church and community activities. We read scriptures together off and on and had family prayer at least daily. They all turned out one way or another eventually. And I don't know if FHE would have made any difference. But if I could do it over I would spend the time and effort needed for weekly FHE. I regret not having it. Deeply regret it.

Sheila | 9:20 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

Wow, what a bunch of depressing comments! I have young kids, but they do look forward to FHE every Monday night. My husband and I do not view FHE as a time to "preach" to our children. In fact, much of the time our children do the teaching. It's a wonderful opportunity for children to develop skills (i.e, teaching, leading music, searching scriptures), increase family bonds, and to hopefully be uplifted spiritually. Our FHE never goes "perfectly," but usually it provokes new questions, comments, and ideas that might not otherwise come about. And the treats at the end aren't so bad either!

Anonymous | 9:22 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

This is what I don't get, what is sunday for; why do we need to hash it out again on monday evening. I'll do whatever church leaders expect, I am just asking...

SchoolMom | 10:19 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

First, to Anonymous @9:22 pm, Sunday's are for partaking of the Sacrament and observing the blessings of the Sabbath.

Each family is different and needs different things as well. FHE works for some and doesn't for others. FHE is a suggestion given to us by the First Presidency to give our families and children another tool for the chaos and craziness that we will experience in the world around us. I don't think that this is a negative for anyone, and the author of the book highlighted in this article, is just giving an entertaining view of FHE.

My opinion | 10:45 p.m. Oct. 11, 2009

FHE is on the same path as enrichment night. It is just not needed. Take care of your families and spend time with them on a daily basis. How hard is that? We are in the world and not of the world; don't get so caught up in it that you need schedule time with your family.

@@ron | 11:33 a.m. Oct. 12, 2009

Believe it or not, some families would spend no time together if not for FHE. If it's not extracurricular activities, then it's video games, tv, computer, friends' houses, or anything besides family. I spend time with my family every day at meals, reading time, scripture study, and unstructured together time. FHE is different from any of those times. We focus on sharing our own thoughts and feelings about the Gospel and each other. You don't get to do that at church with just your family.

FHE is an opportunity for my wife and me to have a more intimate, personal conversation with our kids about important topics like faith, repentance, baptism, modesty, the plan of happiness, revelation, prophets, honesty, priesthood, or anything else that we feel our family needs to discuss. The topic is based completely on what we feel our family needs. If we do it right, the kids participate and love it!

It IS needed, which is why God's modern prophets continue to encourage us to be faithful in holding weekly FHE. And I don't believe the prophets make this stuff up...they get it from the ultimate source.

Anonymous | 11:37 a.m. Oct. 13, 2009

I agree with Elder Bednar about family being a higher priority than Church meetings and callings.

That is why I now spend every weekend with my family out on the boat or in the hills or skiing! We are closer than ever and don't have to worry about all that Church hyper-activity!

Life is good.

SLC gal | 12:14 p.m. Oct. 13, 2009

Yeah, some callings keep you busy, but those of you that are complaining I can safely say, have nothing!!!! to whine about if your calling is not bishopric or higher. Those families have challenges, I know becuase my husband is an exec. secratary, and I hardly ever see him. Until then, buck up, and make time.

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