Comments about ‘DC Metro Moms blog: Changing my son's behavior with a few words’

Children need to be taught that their success is a direct result of the effort they have invested. Whether there's such a thing as inherent ability is irrelevant; a child has no control over that. When a child is working on a task or developing a skill, the only thing they have control over is the effort they invest, so it stands to reason that effort is the thing that should be praised.

As children grow older, they are increasingly likely to attribute success to "talent" or "natural ability"; conversely, they are more likely to attribute failure to a lack of talent or natural ability. If they do so, they will sell themselves short on a lot of skills that they could develop given enough effort and expert guidance. Parents' words and actions must consistently and repeatedly send the message that, as a general rule, people can do whatever they put their minds to.