Reader comments
Successful parenting

That people have no business having kids unless they are married, the marriage is strong, and they are committed to doing a good job as parents.

Otherwise society will be hurt. It's hard to estimate the damage caused to a child (and in turn society) by parents that don't accept the responsibility fully, or in some cases BARELY at all.

Wow I am so tired of hearing about you poor poor parents, that have to sacrifice for your children, so you miss some sleep. Children turn out great, with a tired mom and a tired dad, as long as the children know they are loved, and they are taught VALUES.... there is no such thing as having it all.. either you have a job your good at. or you raise a family that know they are your priority. Choose people, Any one can say I love you, but kids are smart enough to know those are just hollow words, when they are left to take care of themselves. Where you spend most of your time, is where your heart is. Don't you think people know that, your not that smart that you can work and play as if your single, and expect kids to feel love....I kept thinking I would go back to work some day, well 30 years later and I am still a stay at home mom, no kids, but lots to do!!!

I don't think it has much to do with "poor poor parents," but more suggestions for improvement, even for those who do fine. None of us is a perfect parent. And sacrifices are voluntary, or they aren't sacrifices, just injuries.

Couples who go into marriage expecting to start a family (which is the whole unselfish point, IMO) should, ideally, work together.

Even I am figuring it out after a strenuous period of "maternal gatekeeping," which I considered necessary, as my husband was not in favor of having children, was uncomfortable around our 3 daughters when they each came, and just barely getting off the fence and onto the side of "family man" after the 3rd was born. (Lots of personal back story omitted.) Of course, when ds, child #4 came, he was singing a new tune. (He really has warmed up to the girls, it wasn't just that #4 was a boy. That fact didn't hurt anything, though.)

My point is, if we can pull it together, anyone who decides to can do it. He's a great dad, and I'm thankful.