Thank you Dr. Cramer.

Then our culture here in Utah can stop projecting social judgements....

You're a medical doctor so I reckon you're no more qualified to talk on this subject than many of us non-MD's. So I'll venture my opinion.

We're all imperfect and most of us know it. We need to work on these imperfections so, one day, we will be perfect. Not many achieve it in mortality and it has nothing to do with recycling pop cans.

The big problem I notice is not "beating up on ourselves" but being too glib about our serious sins. Humility is easier (for self and others)to live with than pride We all have good reason to be humble, if only we would be. What a relief it is to see ourselves as we are and to be improving each day. God will forgive the truly contrite.

The article was good. It seemed the result of astute observations and was well written. And, being more than aware of my faults--rarely dismissing them glibly-- I loved it. I have torn it out (probably never will get around to cutting the edges evenly or laminating it or even putting it in a page protector) and will save it with a couple of other articles of his. I hope that Dr. Cramer considers publishing a collection of his articles.

Wans't it Jesus that said "be ye therefore perfect like your father in heaven"?


funny how the liberals and the left are telling us not to be, to not even try, to have low expectations, giving us messages to us and teenagers they are going to sex anyways...

WOW, I think you are reading far too much into the article. I am not at all liberal or to the left. I do not have low expectations of myself or my children. I might as well have LDS tattooed on my forehead it is so obvious.My teenagers-past and present-know my opinion on sex (I love it, always have. I concur with J Golden Kimball-there should be more abstinance before marriage and less after) We are a typical family. I just did not read anything of what Anonomous and An Observer read into the article. I suppose that without the benefit of inflection one can interpret the written word in a lot of different ways.

What are you guys talking about? You. Sound. Nutty.

It is hard to think of not being perfect enough when all you have ever heard is "you're not good enough and you never will be." Having always looked up to those "perfect" people, and wondered how they did it, it is reassuring to know they have their problems too

Great comment!

What most parents are telling their children is that they are wonderful, no matter what. Expectations ARE low. Educational standards are dropping. Everything is being dumbed down but NEVER tell your children that they are anything but little angels even when they act like demons.

A few parents go to the other extreme but what I am experiencing even at Church are children wandering in and out of their seats, fussing and talking loudly 'til sometimes you cannot hear anything else. Your private reverential thoughts are disturbed. You keep missing parts of the talks.

Do parents use the cry room? Do they insist on reverence? Do they train their children not to push in front of people. I have finally, on a number of occasions, had to turn around and ask a child to please be quiet. One week I had to ask a child to get his feet off the back of a pew as it was affecting my wife who was sitting in front of him. The parents were oblivious and looked shocked at my polite request.

The article is mischievous garbage. What most children need today is firm and kindly guidance in the basics of courtesy.

Thank you all for your time to make comments. Being a pediatrician first and a writer second sometimes puts my words at a disadvantage to the clarity that I would like. The article was not about manners although manners are important. Nor was it really about recognizing our shortcomings in a constructive manner. Instead it was the sadness that comes when someone has such doubts and insecurities that no matter what they do it will never be good enough. Maybe I should have just said that.

Your article WAS perfect. And spot on. Now don't you go and become the "nearly perfect" ;-)

Pronunciation: p&r-‘feky also ‘p&r-fikt
Function: transitive verb
Date: 14th century
1 : to bring to final form
2 : to make perfect : IMPROVE, REFINE
-per.fect.er noun

I believe the more correct usage of the word “Perfect” used in the scriptures is the type used as the TRANSITIVE verb: Perfect — i.e., the pur-fect’ ing of the saints…[an on-going process].
as in improve, and refine.


not per’fect having already attained a level of flawlessness.

....just my liberal thinking, or course.