Deseret News | Dear coach, I promise not to be a raving idiot this year

Reader comments
Dear coach, I promise not to be a raving idiot this year

THEeyepatch | 10:08 p.m. Aug. 4, 2009

I remember getting YELLED at for dropping a ball in practice. I don't think it made me a better man. I really just expect it. Some coach's teach by fear. It's not the way I would coach, but I guess it builds character. Either you have character or you are a character.

At ALL levels | 10:44 p.m. Aug. 4, 2009

As an official that loves to observe people, may I suggest that this is signed and delivered to coaches at ALL LEVELS! To be honest, Friday night under the lights is the easiest game I work during any given week... the games get progressively tougher as the ages get younger... toughest league to work is the good ol' Little League on Saturday mornings.

Why? It's not because the players are so much better on Friday nights. It's not because I don't put forth as much effort on games that don't fall on Friday night... those kids all the way down, including Saturday mornings work just as hard all week as the Varsity All-stars and deserve every bit of effort from us Zebras as we give on Friday night.

The real answer: Somehow, someway, maybe because there's more people there on Friday night to drown them out... players' dads AND MOMs have either figured out that all of their yelling at coaches and officials over the years hasn't changed anything or have just tired of it and so they're not as bad as parents of the subvarsity & little league games.

Thanks!

On the other side now | 8:11 a.m. Aug. 5, 2009

Great article. My kids are grown with their own kids just starting to play and perform. My husband was a little league coach of some kind for 30 + years and the parents can be just unrelenting. Hopefully, many will see this article and take it to heart.

Comments continue below

On both sides | 8:37 a.m. Aug. 5, 2009

Great article! This is a good read for the parents of any high school participant. Some might not take it to heart because the biggest problem with the out of line parents is that they don't think they are out of line. If the inventors of these sports and games could see the misguided actions of parents today then they would probably wish that they hadn't invented them.

Best Article | 9:37 a.m. Aug. 5, 2009

Not always a Rock fan but this was perfect. As a coach of Pee-Wee Ute Conference football, this should be the framework of a contract to be signed by all parents and enforced with a ZERO TOLERANCE policy.

It's just one more example of how society is going to heck in a handbasket. What happened to civility and class? No, seriously....

Anonymous | 1:27 p.m. Aug. 5, 2009

Based on Robinson's column yesterday – in which he basically says Erin Andrews was asking for it – Doug has already failed his pledge. Doug also says there is an uneasy alliance between women and sports, true enough at his organization. No women cover any major beats.

Corky | 2:23 p.m. Aug. 5, 2009

Great article. An out of control parent can ruin a perfectly good season. I am always amazed when the parents come un-glued! What a terrible example for their kids. And - is the "winning" really the purpose of the game, or is it to teach sportsmanship, teamwork, perseverance, character building and to give the kids the opportunity to grow and learn - preparing them for the real world as they grow up? I LOVE sports for the kids! It is sooo good for them. But, an out of control parent does nothing but damage.

Other side | 2:40 p.m. Aug. 5, 2009

Now as a follow up ... how about one for coaches ? That as a coach, he won't publicly humiliate any kid on his team for any reason. That he will realize that no matter how big the team wins, he won't be on SportsCenter that night. That he will understand that ALL of his kids deserve playing time and to try and work them in when possible because they are all contributing to the success of the team and are working hard for that goal. That he CAN have a backbone and not cave in to the rich boosters or his buddy's wishes for playing time for their kids. That HE will show good sportsmanship during games and afterward. That he will require his assistants to follow his good example.

Doug Robinson is not Rock | 2:41 p.m. Aug. 5, 2009

That would be Brad Rock and I'm not always a fan of his either. This is a good article and one all parents and young athletes should read. This info has been written and discussed over and over many times and parents really should know it by now anyway. People should have to take classes and get a degree in Parenting and Early Childhood development before they have kids. At least a couple of courses would sure help. We don't need anymore incidents on the football field or in the gyms of HS games. Just mind your own business and keep your mouth shut when you attend games. Keep the criticism to yourself, no one wants to hear it. And don't slug the coach with a football helmet, that's really stupid.

confused | 2:58 p.m. Aug. 5, 2009

so are parents too involved in their kids lives or to little?

Steve Tate | 3:07 p.m. Aug. 5, 2009

Bravo Mr. Robinson! Wish my dad had read this, I might have ended up in the NFL instead of pumping gas in Oregon.

Anonymous | 3:57 p.m. Aug. 5, 2009

Loved this article. It's VERY hard as a parent to remember the "big picture" and no matter what, use athletics as a learning experience. Like life, you can work as hard as you can and may still not get the reward or playing time you desire. Coaches generally want to win and will play the kids who they feel will perform. Yes, there is pressure, but that is what athletics is - the higher the level of competition, the more pressure there is. Everyone has a last game - enjoy the experience, getting to know the other parents and cheer for ALL the kids. Support your kid by being there as often as you can, they need to see you in the stands whether they are playing or not - even more so if they are on the bench. Do you only support them if they are in the game? Be a good parent, a good fan and enjoy the experience because it's over way too soon. P.S. To those kids who are unkind "stars": you are NOT better than someone because you are more talented, those "losers" who don't play may be your boss someday, so be kind!

Yes | 4:28 a.m. Aug. 6, 2009

I agree on this contract, but also agree on one for the coaches. When I was an assistant coach for my son's soccer team the Pop Warner was starting practice as we finished. They had the kids doing leg lifts. One of the kids was not able to hold his legs up all the time and one of the coaches came by and started to kick him quie hard on the soles of his foot and screaming at him. The kid was in tears. The head coach was not intervening. I walked up to the coach and told him that if I ever see him do that again I will swear out a warrant for his arrest for assault and battery and that he is a poor example of a youth coach. I also told the head coach he needs to better control his assistants and told him what was happening. I was a mandated child abuse reporter. I never saw those coaches do that again. There whole style of coaching and demeanor with the kids changed. One of the kids came up to be a month later and thanked me for speaking to the coaches.

Paul in MD | 5:50 a.m. Aug. 6, 2009

AMEN!!! I help coach a girls softball team, and we had an unruly parent. He knows the game very well - in one inning he had the opponents' signals figured out and was yelling out to our girls what the signal was before the batter had figured it out.

But part way through the game he took the head coach aside and gave him a load of bull about his daughter not being in the game, complete with swearing, yelling, nasty comments about other girls on the field, and plenty of alcohol-breath. Seems he had filled his Gatorade bottle with Vodka. Nice.

I'm bringing this article to our board meeting tonight to help augment our own parents/players/coaches behavior agreement!!

Oh, and to Other Side, how much time your kids get on the field depends partly on what kind of league it is. Our recreation players are put on the field so everyone gets equal playing time - our travel team players are chosen and played to give the team the best chance to win. We tell all our parents this at the beginning of the season, but it doesn't always get heard.

RE: Yes | 2:11 p.m. Sept. 24, 2009

I find one thing very interesting about your rebutal. The fact being that most Pop Warner coaches aren't coaches,they're dad's. I'm not going to say that everyone who is a coach by profession is a saint or even a good guy. But most of us who do coach as part or all of our professioin wouldn't have tolerated or allowed the act you've described above.

Add your comment

Comments are monitored. Any comments found to be abusive, offensive, off-topic, misrepresentative, more than 200 words or containing URLs will not be posted.

Words Remaining

E-mail address: For internal use only. We may want to contact you to publish your comment (not your e-mail address) in the newspaper or for a separate story idea.