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The truly happy family

Writers tend to be somewhat critical of other writers because they don't write or in this case translate to our standards. Tolstoy was right in my opinion, that happy families are all alike. He didnt' say that every family was exactly alike. What an absurd thought that would have been. Happy families share some very basic values which allows them to overcome sorrows, tribulation, loss and general turmoil. Unhappy families while sharing similar traits all have their own mountains to climb and they often try to climb those mountains in very different ways. Once they do attain the peak they then look around and see others who have conquered the peaks but for very different reasons. Once they master that summit, they then realize that becomming a happy family might not have been so difficult had they learned what makes happy families the same all the while being different. Happy families lead to happy communities and happy communities lead to strong leaders. Strong leaders teach others how to become happy. Unhappy families are unhappy for many different reasons yet all the while sharing some common short commings. That's one of the reasons we are all different.

The LDS Church can actually do harm to families if you aren't very careful. Church meetings will take up 6 days of our week this week (Tuesday evening - me, Wednesday Evening - my wife, Thursday Evening - Me, Friday night and all day Saturday -my wife, Sunday - normal Church meetings)

It is a good thing we had family home evening. We won't see each other again for the rest of the week.

Thank you Brother Card for saying so well what I have been trying to figure out how to say for a while now. We lost a son a little over a year ago and sometimes people seem to ask "How can you be so happy as a family after such a tragedy?" We are not perfectly happy. We still have our moments for tears and memories. We have found that there can be joy and happiness in the midst of adversity, sorrow and loss.

Even after the funeral (at which I tried to do a "speaking for the dead") our Stake President came to me and said, "I wish all funerals could be like this one. It was truthful yet kind and it uplifted everyone here - especially all his friends that don't know the gospel."

Thank you for helping me know how to do that.

We still have many struggles with our remaining 8, but even though some are wandering spiritually and others, including me, have many challenges and mountains to climb, we love each other and genuinely enjoy being with each other. I believe that is what makes a family happy.

Sometimes we put church meetings ahead of family. You need to redo priorities if church is taking you away from the family. Church meetings are for now but families are forever.

To Anonymous | 8:20 a.m. May 7, 2009:

I agree with Mike. President Uchtdorf said in his talk in Priesthood Meeting of General Conference that sometimes church programs can interfere with things that are more important. In the world wide training meetings that the church has on Saturdays, it has been mentioned that families with little children should not have both parents in demanding church callings. Also, families should not spend more than at most two nights a week with church functions, if there are children in the home.

Anonymous, you need to re-prioritize this week and do it without guilt. This is from the highest leaders of the Church.

I read your column this morning, and felt I must reply. You state that Tolstoy was "exactly wrong" when he said, "Happy families are all alike; every unhappy family is unhappy in its own way." I believe Mr. Tolstoy was exactly right.

There are so many different ways to be unhappy. Happy families have much in common. The Proclamation to the Family states: "Happiness in family life is most likely achieved when founded upon teachings of the Lord Jesus Christ." Tolstoy brilliantly demonstrates this in Anna Karenina. Anna is miserable and ultimately takes her life because she chose to seek happiness outside her family. Tolstoy, through his character Levin, concludes that choosing family life leads us ultimately to God.

Tolstoy is anything but "sloppy" and an "idiot". Have you really read the book? To compare Tolstoy to the movie "17 Again" is simplistic at best; they are not even in the same universe. Tolstoy's works are magnificent and you do your readers a great disservice to arrogantly criticize and discount him.

I have read Card's articles for a year and look forward to them and have shared them with many; BUT, I think he has a tendency to criticize everything under the sun (except doctrine and Brethren for which I applaud) but yet his criticizing everything else under the sun can, if pushed too hard, to weak souls, destroy faith, in good things outside doctrine and leadership. If you criticize 95 per cent of world and praise the remaining 5 per cent that is your sacred cow, you can still inadvertently, subtely, imperceptebly be sending a message that it is okay to go around critizing everything. Yes, we all can have opinions on any subject. Maybe I just need to read CArd once a month, or maybe I put Tolstoy on too high a pedestal , I don't know.

Card, the master of FICTION, once again tries to write authoritatively on a subject about which he knows absolutely nothing!

Stick with fiction, Card. It is much easier to fabricate things than to try to work through reality and truth.

Everyone is entitled to his or her own opinion. Card uses his name and lays out his opinion, for a target to be used by anonymous dart-throwing nit-pickers and their ad hominem insults.