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Facing the harsh reality of pornography
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Oh be wise | 9:46 a.m. April 29, 2009
I disagree with Otis Spurlock.
How do you know if looking at porn once will not lead to wanting to look again. Maybe some people can indulge in porn once and not be effected. But others indulge once and are drawn in by an unexplainable powerful force that makes them want to indulge again and again, until one day, they realize they are addicted, and their life is in shambles.
How many tears could have been prevented, if men who are caught up in this, would have simply had the the self-discipline to turn away from porn the first time it showed its ugly head. Safety lies in never indulging in porn in the first place.
How do you know if looking at porn once will not lead to wanting to look again. Maybe some people can indulge in porn once and not be effected. But others indulge once and are drawn in by an unexplainable powerful force that makes them want to indulge again and again, until one day, they realize they are addicted, and their life is in shambles.
How many tears could have been prevented, if men who are caught up in this, would have simply had the the self-discipline to turn away from porn the first time it showed its ugly head. Safety lies in never indulging in porn in the first place.
how revealing | 10:22 a.m. April 29, 2009
Jerry's column is revealing of the Mormon psyche. Unfortunately, the
attitudes Jerry describes about pornography expose succinctly why Mormons will
never free themselves of the problem of pornography. The official attitude of
Mormonism that one can overcome the desire to look at pornography goes against
the real nature of human beings. Trying to control people by demonizing a
particular behavior never works. The more you forbid it the more tempting it
becomes (forbidden fruit). Looking at pornography is a natural part of human
inquisitiveness that cannot be suppressed without damaging the psychological
development of a person. It is analogous to the Catholic Church's attempt
to deny the sexuality of those who are in the priesthood or who become nuns.
The experiment of celibacy is an utter failure and an affront to God's
creation of sexuality. Those cultures that do not stigmatize pornography are
mentally healthier that those that try to relegate the perusal of pornography to
the closet. Suppression NEVER works, it comes back to bite you over and over
and over again.
Comments continue below
RE: Otis Spurlock | 10:38 a.m. April 29, 2009
Otis's quote: "I've said it before and I will say it again,
pornography isn't bad unless it rises to the level of compulsive
behavior."
President Ezra Taft Benson, quoting two former prophets, Joseph Smith and Joseph F. Smith:
"The plaguing sin of this generation is sexual immorality. This, the Prophet Joseph Smith said, would be the source of more temptation, more buffetings, and more difficulties for the elders of Israel than any other. President Joseph F. Smith said that sexual impurity would be one of the three dangers that would threaten the Church withinand so it does. It permeates our society." (April Conf. 1986)
Otis is entitled to his opinion, but that doesn't make his opinion true.
Personally, I think I'll go with what the prophets say.
President Ezra Taft Benson, quoting two former prophets, Joseph Smith and Joseph F. Smith:
"The plaguing sin of this generation is sexual immorality. This, the Prophet Joseph Smith said, would be the source of more temptation, more buffetings, and more difficulties for the elders of Israel than any other. President Joseph F. Smith said that sexual impurity would be one of the three dangers that would threaten the Church withinand so it does. It permeates our society." (April Conf. 1986)
Otis is entitled to his opinion, but that doesn't make his opinion true.
Personally, I think I'll go with what the prophets say.
Brother Chuck Schroeder | 10:40 a.m. April 29, 2009
To "Oh be wise",
That post was embarassing. Talk about overreacting!
If you have an internet connection or a television, or have ever seen a movie than chances are 100% that you have been exposed to porn.
99% of people are just fine viewing porn. It's the 1% who have problems when it becomes compulsive and interfers with other aspects of their lives.
You will never be able to prevent anybody from seeing porn in today's world. It is best to not bury your head in the sand.
That post was embarassing. Talk about overreacting!
If you have an internet connection or a television, or have ever seen a movie than chances are 100% that you have been exposed to porn.
99% of people are just fine viewing porn. It's the 1% who have problems when it becomes compulsive and interfers with other aspects of their lives.
You will never be able to prevent anybody from seeing porn in today's world. It is best to not bury your head in the sand.
kenny | 10:54 a.m. April 29, 2009
I think the issue with pornography is to not invite it into your life.
Pornography does invite itself into ones life.No person can avoid that.Its what
we do with it once it knocks at the door. Simple:Dont answer the door.When we
invite it in the Spirit withdraws and it becomes impossible to serve our Hevenly
Father.Many people over react to the evils of pornography.As a church we are
still trying to deal with the issue and have yet to get it right for all those
who indulge in this practice.My suggestion is to not make it a issue if you find
it in the life of a loved one.Just love them and guide them back to chaste
activities.They will thank you for it and you both will be happier.
Sister Charlene Schrodinger | 10:58 a.m. April 29, 2009
Chuck,
"If you have an internet connection or a television, or have ever seen a movie than chances are 100% that you have been exposed to porn."
What exactly do you consider to be porn? Underwear advertisements? A man and a woman kissing? French kissing? On the beach? In bathing suits while the waves crash over them (From Here to Eternity, 1953)?
Or do you categorize Victoria's Secret advertisements as "porn"? Why?
Do you distinguish between "nudity", "soft porn" and "hard porn"? On what basis?
Depending on how porn is defined, there may be either a 100% chance everybody has viewed porn, or a 0% chance!
Are YOU going to be the conscience and judge for EVERYONE as to what counts as porn and what doesn't?
"If you have an internet connection or a television, or have ever seen a movie than chances are 100% that you have been exposed to porn."
What exactly do you consider to be porn? Underwear advertisements? A man and a woman kissing? French kissing? On the beach? In bathing suits while the waves crash over them (From Here to Eternity, 1953)?
Or do you categorize Victoria's Secret advertisements as "porn"? Why?
Do you distinguish between "nudity", "soft porn" and "hard porn"? On what basis?
Depending on how porn is defined, there may be either a 100% chance everybody has viewed porn, or a 0% chance!
Are YOU going to be the conscience and judge for EVERYONE as to what counts as porn and what doesn't?
cats | 11:13 a.m. April 29, 2009
how revealing | 10:22 a.m. April 29, 2009 wrote:
"Jerry's column is revealing of the Mormon psyche. Unfortunately, the attitudes Jerry describes about pornography expose succinctly why Mormons will never free themselves of the problem of pornography. The official attitude of Mormonism that one can overcome the desire to look at pornography goes against the real nature of human beings. Trying to control people by demonizing a particular behavior never works. The more you forbid it the more tempting it becomes (forbidden fruit). Looking at pornography is a natural part of human inquisitiveness that cannot be suppressed without damaging the psychological development of a person. It is analogous to the Catholic Church's attempt to deny the sexuality of those who are in the priesthood or who become nuns. The experiment of celibacy is an utter failure and an affront to God's creation of sexuality. Those cultures that do not stigmatize pornography are mentally healthier that those that try to relegate the perusal of pornography to the closet. Suppression NEVER works, it comes back to bite you over and over and over again."
This hit a big nerve witht the Church.
"Jerry's column is revealing of the Mormon psyche. Unfortunately, the attitudes Jerry describes about pornography expose succinctly why Mormons will never free themselves of the problem of pornography. The official attitude of Mormonism that one can overcome the desire to look at pornography goes against the real nature of human beings. Trying to control people by demonizing a particular behavior never works. The more you forbid it the more tempting it becomes (forbidden fruit). Looking at pornography is a natural part of human inquisitiveness that cannot be suppressed without damaging the psychological development of a person. It is analogous to the Catholic Church's attempt to deny the sexuality of those who are in the priesthood or who become nuns. The experiment of celibacy is an utter failure and an affront to God's creation of sexuality. Those cultures that do not stigmatize pornography are mentally healthier that those that try to relegate the perusal of pornography to the closet. Suppression NEVER works, it comes back to bite you over and over and over again."
This hit a big nerve witht the Church.
authority | 11:26 a.m. April 29, 2009
Shaming someone for viewing pornography is a greater sin than viewing
pornography.
authority | 11:31 a.m. April 29, 2009
Making someone who views pornography feel inferior to you is a greater sin than
viewing pornography.
Mikey | 11:40 a.m. April 29, 2009
Otis said it perfectly for me... thank you. Porn is not bad unless it becomes
out of control. Just like drinking isn't bad unless it becomes out of
control. It is sad that in America we try and protect our children from porn so
viciously but we will let them play violent video games and watch "Texas
Chainsaw Masacare." I'm not saying to feed your kids porn, but,
don't take it so seriously.
remission | 11:49 a.m. April 29, 2009
Once again, another article shows the "Mormon blinders". In this
article it makes it appear that any person with a pornography addiction (or even
desire) is a male. It is a guy's problem. NOT!!!
More and more studies are showing that women are looking at pornography also. It is shameful, but there are girls in Young Women's, Primary leaders and even sweet Relief Society sisters who view pornography.
To really make an impact, this issue must be addressed for either sex. True, men and women think differently.
A young man may find looking at bikini clad models his first experience at titilating media. A young woman may find it in a book - even vampires can leave a young woman with feelings the Church has constantly cautioned against. Men may view photos and videos more than women, but women can feel the same reading some of the romance novels that are sold without restriction.
Wake up! This is not a "guy's" problem. It is an issue for all people - male and female.
More and more studies are showing that women are looking at pornography also. It is shameful, but there are girls in Young Women's, Primary leaders and even sweet Relief Society sisters who view pornography.
To really make an impact, this issue must be addressed for either sex. True, men and women think differently.
A young man may find looking at bikini clad models his first experience at titilating media. A young woman may find it in a book - even vampires can leave a young woman with feelings the Church has constantly cautioned against. Men may view photos and videos more than women, but women can feel the same reading some of the romance novels that are sold without restriction.
Wake up! This is not a "guy's" problem. It is an issue for all people - male and female.
Anonymous | 11:51 a.m. April 29, 2009
kenny,
you are so naive. Are you sure you aren't a 14 year old trying to score points with your parents by posting simpleminded answers?
you are so naive. Are you sure you aren't a 14 year old trying to score points with your parents by posting simpleminded answers?
Anonymous | 11:58 a.m. April 29, 2009
Not only has porn his a big nerve with the Church, but so has homosexuality!
Hmmmm. Maybe Mormons are shooting themselves in the foot! They try to be all prudish and holier than thou about porn, and then they wonder why their young people are turning to same-sex attraction!?
Fools
Hmmmm. Maybe Mormons are shooting themselves in the foot! They try to be all prudish and holier than thou about porn, and then they wonder why their young people are turning to same-sex attraction!?
Fools
Porn is a problem | 12:17 p.m. April 29, 2009
My spouse works for a large private corporation headquarted in Los Angeles. One
of the few LDS people employed there (besides my spouse) was fired for viewing
pornography during working hours. With the easy accessibility of pornography
via the internet within the privacy of home the problem has grown. People who
never would've gone into a store to buy a pornographic movie/magazine now
view it regularly. And, child pornography has also increased. Just watch
"To Catch a Predator." The number of men showing up at the "sting
operation" is astounding.
Dan M. | 12:23 p.m. April 29, 2009
Back in the 1850s, three men applied for an open position of wagon driver. The
wagon trail often led along dangerous routes, so the employer asked the first
applicant how close he could drive to the edge of a cliff without going over. He
quickly said he could drive the wagon with two wheels right on the edge without
going over. When the employer asked the second applicant this question, he
proudly stated he could drive with half the wheels on the edge and the other
half hanging over without any mishap. The employer wondered how the third
applicant would respond. The third said, "Well, sir, I don't know how
close I could come without going over. But I do know how to drive the wagon just
as far away from the edge as possible."
Who do you think got the job?
The story is ficticious, but illustrates an excellent point. May we all travel through life as far away from catastrophe as possible.
Who do you think got the job?
The story is ficticious, but illustrates an excellent point. May we all travel through life as far away from catastrophe as possible.
No harm at all | 12:37 p.m. April 29, 2009
There's practically no harm in porn, why the big fuss? So go ahead,
indulge, after all its "natural". You should all just give in to your
carnal desires, because its "unhealthy" to exercise self control. So
quite worrying about tired old morality and just have fun. Happiness comes from
doing what feels good at the time.
Signed,
Satan
Signed,
Satan
To Dan M. | 12:40 p.m. April 29, 2009
Your post shows exactly why pornography will continue to be a HUGE problem for
the Mormons. Please read "how revealing's" post above an
explanation.
Cats | 12:57 p.m. April 29, 2009
HMMMMMM, Someone is impersonating me. Someone calling him or herself
"cats" at 11:13 has written something I wouldn't write.
I personally thought the article was excellent and hit a few very important points. He's right that it IS a matter of character. Pornography is an evil that destroys lives. It doesn't matter how many nuances we put on it or what the degree of indulgence. Pornography degrades women, destroys marriages and ruins the self-worth or those who use it. Many women and children are exploited and abused in the production of it. If you use it, YOU SUPPORT ALL OF THAT!
And to "Authority"--where in the world would you get the idea that shaming someone for viewing pornography is worse that viewing pornography? Is that some weirdness you made up in your head?
Anyone who uses pornography needs to understand that he/she is doing something that is self-destructive and sick and he/she needs to stop doing it, IMMEDIATELY. Nothing good comes of pornography. NOTHING!
In Farming, NM there's a big billboard right next to a pornography store. It reads "Jesus is watching you." Everyone, please remember that.
I personally thought the article was excellent and hit a few very important points. He's right that it IS a matter of character. Pornography is an evil that destroys lives. It doesn't matter how many nuances we put on it or what the degree of indulgence. Pornography degrades women, destroys marriages and ruins the self-worth or those who use it. Many women and children are exploited and abused in the production of it. If you use it, YOU SUPPORT ALL OF THAT!
And to "Authority"--where in the world would you get the idea that shaming someone for viewing pornography is worse that viewing pornography? Is that some weirdness you made up in your head?
Anyone who uses pornography needs to understand that he/she is doing something that is self-destructive and sick and he/she needs to stop doing it, IMMEDIATELY. Nothing good comes of pornography. NOTHING!
In Farming, NM there's a big billboard right next to a pornography store. It reads "Jesus is watching you." Everyone, please remember that.
Get Real | 1:02 p.m. April 29, 2009
To all those that think Porn is not harmful -
Do you believe that developing a mindset that sees other human beings as "objects" that are here to satisfy our lusts, - do you see that as a good thing?
Do some research on the effects of porn, before you start saying that there is no harm.
Do you believe that developing a mindset that sees other human beings as "objects" that are here to satisfy our lusts, - do you see that as a good thing?
Do some research on the effects of porn, before you start saying that there is no harm.
Al | 1:03 p.m. April 29, 2009
My son-in-law works in law enforcement dealing mostly with abuse cases. He said
that in nearly 100% of the cases he investigates pornography is involved. Many
of the perpetrators of these crimes(usually against children) have admitted to
him that it began with pornography. What will satisfy us today usually will not
tommorro. The actions of Porn are the same for many people, a little more and a
little more.
2 Get Real | 1:32 p.m. April 29, 2009
Polygamy is pornography but legal in certain areas
the last word | 1:36 p.m. April 29, 2009
For someone with a certain mindset anything can be used as pornography including
biblical stories and posters of Marie Osmond. It has more to do with where our
thoughts camp out than it does with what is viewed. LDS Church leaders called
me to a mission in a place that is more relaxed about sexuality than our
culture. I was put in harm's way, encountering pornographic material and
scantily clad women frequently. Somehow I was able to make it through the
mission relatively unscathed because my mind was too busy dwelling on other
things to spend much time on the onslaught of sexual material.
I agree with a previous poster that mentioned that this is not the gender-specific problem that the Church all too often makes it out to be. I would go so far as to say that women have as much of a problem with pornography as men. There just isn't as much physical evidence of it due to women being more prone to flights of sexual fantasy fueled by imagination and things they read than by visual stimuli.
I agree with a previous poster that mentioned that this is not the gender-specific problem that the Church all too often makes it out to be. I would go so far as to say that women have as much of a problem with pornography as men. There just isn't as much physical evidence of it due to women being more prone to flights of sexual fantasy fueled by imagination and things they read than by visual stimuli.
Reality | 1:37 p.m. April 29, 2009
Almost every major study shows that viewing pornography is not harmful in any
manner (look at the Presidential Committee studies for starters).
What is harmful are the over reacting parents, spouses and Church leaders to anyone who has viewed pornography. Please read the above post from Otis Spurlock and his experience on the over reaction by Mormon parents. That type of reaction is very common in the Mormon Church and is extremely harmful to the individuals emotional well-being.
What is harmful are the over reacting parents, spouses and Church leaders to anyone who has viewed pornography. Please read the above post from Otis Spurlock and his experience on the over reaction by Mormon parents. That type of reaction is very common in the Mormon Church and is extremely harmful to the individuals emotional well-being.
My2Cents | 1:46 p.m. April 29, 2009
My son is a psychiatrist in California and has informed me that Mormons have the
highest per capita (of any religion) of people psychiatrist treat for compulsive
porn addiction.
He has told me that he feels pornography addiction is such a problem in the Mormon Church because of the Church has tried to demonize a natural part of human inquisitiveness that cannot be suppressed without damaging the psychological development of a person.
I see this all of the time. I wish the Church would try a different approach in dealing and addressing pornography. After all, what the Church is doing now doesn't seem to be working very well because Utah leads the nation in online pornography subscriptions and online porn searches.
He has told me that he feels pornography addiction is such a problem in the Mormon Church because of the Church has tried to demonize a natural part of human inquisitiveness that cannot be suppressed without damaging the psychological development of a person.
I see this all of the time. I wish the Church would try a different approach in dealing and addressing pornography. After all, what the Church is doing now doesn't seem to be working very well because Utah leads the nation in online pornography subscriptions and online porn searches.
Dutch | 1:46 p.m. April 29, 2009
I have been addicted to Pornography for most of my life exposed as a young
teenager it stuck with me like glue, I fight it every day it is a weakness it
is wrong, some may say what harm is there - well lets take the religious aspect
out of it - It is wrong because it develops sterotypes for women not in harmony
with who woman really are it turns them into objects, gives false expecations
in relationships Thank goodness my good wife has stuck with me thru thick and
thin. Those who say it is not harmful are welcome to that opionion. I will
stick to how I feel each day that I conquer this weakness
Truth Hurts | 1:48 p.m. April 29, 2009
Pornography objectifies individuals. That's why it's extremely
dangerous in breaking down moral norms. If a man or woman feels free to view
increasingly degrading material it can lead to vicious and tragic actions.
Men or women who indulge in pornography even come to see children or teens as sexual objects of interest and pursue them with malicious intent.
Pornography is a terrible cancer that has gained too much acceptance in our culture. People who are accepting of pornography reject the core truth of our relationship with God as divine Sons and Daughters.
Men or women who indulge in pornography even come to see children or teens as sexual objects of interest and pursue them with malicious intent.
Pornography is a terrible cancer that has gained too much acceptance in our culture. People who are accepting of pornography reject the core truth of our relationship with God as divine Sons and Daughters.
Anonymous | 2:04 p.m. April 29, 2009
I believe "Get Real" actually had the last word on this one. What
he/she said is really what it all comes down to, no matter how you try to twist
it.
Anonymous | 3:03 p.m. April 29, 2009
If we drive down the highway and see signs reminding us to buckle up, and we
hear public service announcements telling us to use our seat belts, and someone
is killed for not using his/her seat belt, is it then the fault of those who
were telling everyone to use their seat belts?
That's the message I'm getting from some of you.
That's the message I'm getting from some of you.
To Get Real | 3:12 p.m. April 29, 2009
Developing that type of mindset is harmful. However, most people who view
pornography do not develop that mindset.
I think the post by My2Cents is the most enlightening as it pertains to the huge pornography problem that Mormons seem to have compared to others.
I think the post by My2Cents is the most enlightening as it pertains to the huge pornography problem that Mormons seem to have compared to others.
Henry Drummond | 3:16 p.m. April 29, 2009
My2Cents wrote,
"My son is a psychiatrist in California and has informed me that Mormons have the highest per capita (of any religion) of people psychiatrist treat for compulsive porn addiction.
He has told me that he feels pornography addiction is such a problem in the Mormon Church because of the Church has tried to demonize a natural part of human inquisitiveness that cannot be suppressed without damaging the psychological development of a person.
I see this all of the time. I wish the Church would try a different approach in dealing and addressing pornography. After all, what the Church is doing now doesn't seem to be working very well because Utah leads the nation in online pornography subscriptions and online porn searches."
Spot on. Very good and insightful post. I hope many people in the Church are reading this.
"My son is a psychiatrist in California and has informed me that Mormons have the highest per capita (of any religion) of people psychiatrist treat for compulsive porn addiction.
He has told me that he feels pornography addiction is such a problem in the Mormon Church because of the Church has tried to demonize a natural part of human inquisitiveness that cannot be suppressed without damaging the psychological development of a person.
I see this all of the time. I wish the Church would try a different approach in dealing and addressing pornography. After all, what the Church is doing now doesn't seem to be working very well because Utah leads the nation in online pornography subscriptions and online porn searches."
Spot on. Very good and insightful post. I hope many people in the Church are reading this.
Crawfish | 3:40 p.m. April 29, 2009
To Dan M.
Please take your own advice and move to the mountains and become a hermit. Stay as far away as possible from this "edge" we rational people like to call "life".
Please take your own advice and move to the mountains and become a hermit. Stay as far away as possible from this "edge" we rational people like to call "life".
Psychiatrist ? | 3:48 p.m. April 29, 2009
So let me get this right... are people saying that Mormons should embrace porn,
because:
- It satisfies our normal inquisitiveness,
- We will have good psychological development,
- Porn addiction will go down,
- Utah will stop leading the nation in online porn,
- Harmful effects will magically go away?
Sounds like psycho-babble to me.
- It satisfies our normal inquisitiveness,
- We will have good psychological development,
- Porn addiction will go down,
- Utah will stop leading the nation in online porn,
- Harmful effects will magically go away?
Sounds like psycho-babble to me.
fly_on_the_wall | 4:02 p.m. April 29, 2009
From where I am today I can say without a doubt that porn is not the big problem
that many claim it to be. The problem is the way sex and sexuality is being
taught in homes and at church. How many times is sex referred to as being dirty
and nasty. And shame on you for having such thoughts and feelings.
God created us as sexual beings. Yes sex and sexuality is only to be expressed within marriage. That is the Lord's plan. Being able to express ourselves in a sexual manner ought to be celebrated not shamed or looked upon as dirty.
I came to this conclusion after spending many years trying to fight porn addiction. It was only after I stopped resisting and started embracing my sexuality that the addictive behaviors melted away.
God created us as sexual beings. Yes sex and sexuality is only to be expressed within marriage. That is the Lord's plan. Being able to express ourselves in a sexual manner ought to be celebrated not shamed or looked upon as dirty.
I came to this conclusion after spending many years trying to fight porn addiction. It was only after I stopped resisting and started embracing my sexuality that the addictive behaviors melted away.
John Pack Lambert | 4:03 p.m. April 29, 2009
To Psychiatrist?,
Nobody has said Mormons should embrace pornography on this comment board (what comment board are you reading?).
People are saying that the Mormon Church has a HUGE problem with pornography. Much more of a problem than other religions.
One of the reasons may be that the Mormon Church has tried to demonize a natural part of human inquisitiveness that cannot be suppressed without damaging the psychological development of a person.
Maybe another approach to pornography (not over reacting) should be tried by the Mormon Church. After all, what the Church is doing now is obviously not working because Utah leads the nation in online porn subscriptions and online porn searches.
Nobody has said Mormons should embrace pornography on this comment board (what comment board are you reading?).
People are saying that the Mormon Church has a HUGE problem with pornography. Much more of a problem than other religions.
One of the reasons may be that the Mormon Church has tried to demonize a natural part of human inquisitiveness that cannot be suppressed without damaging the psychological development of a person.
Maybe another approach to pornography (not over reacting) should be tried by the Mormon Church. After all, what the Church is doing now is obviously not working because Utah leads the nation in online porn subscriptions and online porn searches.
crmeatball | 4:21 p.m. April 29, 2009
To illustrate the destructive nature of pornography, I would ask everyone,
especially those who are defending it, to ask themselves how their wives (or
husbands as the case may be) would feel if they knew you viewed pornography.
Would they feel betrayed? Objectified? Pornography creates a false image of
sexuality in the minds of those viewing it. The emotions which drive our
sexuality are very powerful, and by viewing pornography, it stimulates those
powerful emotions and causes our bodies and minds to associate such with the
images seen. However, that stimulation should be reserved for a spouse. A
spouse is who should cause such stirrings, not the thought a pornographic movie
or image. So, in order to satisfy the desires created by viewing pornography,
the spouse degenerates into an object by which these desires are fulfilled. The
equal footing upon which a relationship should be based is eroded away, leading
to marital strife and heartache. The natural inquisitiveness which exists in
the human psyche should be fulfilled through intimacy between spouses. Sexual
intimacy is a very personal and intimate relationship, and the satisfaction of
curiosity should remain within that sacred relationship, not in a movie or
magazine.
Addict | 4:21 p.m. April 29, 2009
I'm an active, believing Latter-Day Saint addicted to porn (but well on the
road to recovery). Jerry's article is a poor one, in my opinion. It leaves
out the most common situation for men doing porn: believing, active, Priesthood
holders who KNOW porn is wrong but do it anyway. We don't have any excuse:
we became addiction and do it out of addiction. We know it is wrong. We have
suffered long and often feel misunderstood. Fortunately, I have LDS counselors
who understand the addiction and, through rigorous therapy, have helped me on
the road to recovery. I am almost there, as the addiction is almost all but
gone, but still have some more to go.
For the best description of understanding to why LDS men (and women) do porn, please search the internet for "What Every Bishop Should Know about Men with Pornography Addictions/Pornography Abuse Problems".
Without understanding, we cannot adequately address the problem, and thus our failure as LDS to overcome this problem continues.
Jerry, I challenge you to understand the issues, and do a follow-up article: this time really address the issues and not the "fluff".
For the best description of understanding to why LDS men (and women) do porn, please search the internet for "What Every Bishop Should Know about Men with Pornography Addictions/Pornography Abuse Problems".
Without understanding, we cannot adequately address the problem, and thus our failure as LDS to overcome this problem continues.
Jerry, I challenge you to understand the issues, and do a follow-up article: this time really address the issues and not the "fluff".
Jessica | 4:34 p.m. April 29, 2009
From reading posts by "Addict", "crmeatball" and others,I
feel very pessimistic for the future of the Mormon Church and their tackling the
issues of pornography.
It is clear that the majority of the Mormon Church just does not understand why they have such a HUGE and disproportionate problem with pornography.
Sociologists, psychiatrists and other health professionals will tell you that the Mormon Church has such a HUGE problem with pornography because the Mormon Church has tried to demonize a natural part of human inquisitiveness that cannot be suppressed without damaging the psychological development of a person.
Get a clue.
It is clear that the majority of the Mormon Church just does not understand why they have such a HUGE and disproportionate problem with pornography.
Sociologists, psychiatrists and other health professionals will tell you that the Mormon Church has such a HUGE problem with pornography because the Mormon Church has tried to demonize a natural part of human inquisitiveness that cannot be suppressed without damaging the psychological development of a person.
Get a clue.
michael | 4:34 p.m. April 29, 2009
Amsterdam has legal prostitution and a 0% violent sex crime rate.
Mormons think porn is "end of the world"-ish and Utah has one of the highest child sex abuse rates in the USA.
Mormons have never figured out that the key to life is moderation. They just want to repress every last bit of the "devil" out of their people until they abuse kids, their wives, or take drugs, alcohol or (insert vice here) to the extreme.
Mormons think porn is "end of the world"-ish and Utah has one of the highest child sex abuse rates in the USA.
Mormons have never figured out that the key to life is moderation. They just want to repress every last bit of the "devil" out of their people until they abuse kids, their wives, or take drugs, alcohol or (insert vice here) to the extreme.
To Otis | 4:43 p.m. April 29, 2009
Who cares how many times you say it? Saying it a million times won't
change the facts.
Porn seriously harms consumers. If you have a wife (doubtful, given your attitude), she resents it. Guaranteed. I don't care that she may say differently. She resents it. And that creates problems.
Porn seriously harms producers. It steals their soul even more surely than consumers. Ever met a pornographer that wasn't slimy and unsavory? There aren't any.
But, you know, most consumers and producers are adults. And if they choose evil, that's their business, so long as they stay within the bounds of the law.
The victims that suffer most from porn are the subjects. They are the ones most directly affected, psychologically. They don't relate to others normally. They tend to be or become professional sex workers. They learn they can make more money being exploited than by taking charge of their lives. And way, WAY too many are children or equally powerless adults in the third world.
They have no real choice. They are slaves.
You and your fellow purveyors are slavers.
Porn seriously harms consumers. If you have a wife (doubtful, given your attitude), she resents it. Guaranteed. I don't care that she may say differently. She resents it. And that creates problems.
Porn seriously harms producers. It steals their soul even more surely than consumers. Ever met a pornographer that wasn't slimy and unsavory? There aren't any.
But, you know, most consumers and producers are adults. And if they choose evil, that's their business, so long as they stay within the bounds of the law.
The victims that suffer most from porn are the subjects. They are the ones most directly affected, psychologically. They don't relate to others normally. They tend to be or become professional sex workers. They learn they can make more money being exploited than by taking charge of their lives. And way, WAY too many are children or equally powerless adults in the third world.
They have no real choice. They are slaves.
You and your fellow purveyors are slavers.
how do we know? | 5:05 p.m. April 29, 2009
I enjoy Jerry's articles but how do we know this is headache NO. 67 on the
list? If it ranked in top 5, are bishops telling others how bad it is or do we
just assume what is being discussed in bishops office. If Mr. Johnson were a
bishop I'm sure he wouldn't disclose confidential information, I know
porn is a problem, but a lot of problem is we assume too much, I guess that is
problem with porn, we avoid talking of it too much because we don't know
facts, it is kind of an underground world that we know little about. Yes, it is
a problem, but we should not assume everyone has a problem with it.
crmeatball | 5:10 p.m. April 29, 2009
To Jessica
The inquisitiveness you refer to does not need to be satisfied through pornography nor sexual experimentation outside of the bounds of marriage. A husband and wife can have a very strong and healthy intimate relationship without relying on pornography. In fact, most marriage counselors would state it becomes stronger without pornography. The intimate relationship is strengthened when you look to the others needs first. Pornography encourages just the opposite, where it portrays unrealistic and selfish portrayals of intimacy.
The Church does not place any taboo on the intimate relationship between husband and wife, nor does it demonize sexual intimacy, so long as it is between husband and wife. The suppression of sexual inquisitiveness is not a result of Church teachings. It is a result of the transition of premarital abstinence and marital intimacy. Too often, the focus for unmarried people is "no sex" so when it becomes encouraged once married, they have a hard time shifting paradigms. This is why the inquisitiveness is not satisfied. This is why church leaders are so careful in preparing a couple for marriage, to help them understand this transition, so they don't feel the need to look outside the marriage.
The inquisitiveness you refer to does not need to be satisfied through pornography nor sexual experimentation outside of the bounds of marriage. A husband and wife can have a very strong and healthy intimate relationship without relying on pornography. In fact, most marriage counselors would state it becomes stronger without pornography. The intimate relationship is strengthened when you look to the others needs first. Pornography encourages just the opposite, where it portrays unrealistic and selfish portrayals of intimacy.
The Church does not place any taboo on the intimate relationship between husband and wife, nor does it demonize sexual intimacy, so long as it is between husband and wife. The suppression of sexual inquisitiveness is not a result of Church teachings. It is a result of the transition of premarital abstinence and marital intimacy. Too often, the focus for unmarried people is "no sex" so when it becomes encouraged once married, they have a hard time shifting paradigms. This is why the inquisitiveness is not satisfied. This is why church leaders are so careful in preparing a couple for marriage, to help them understand this transition, so they don't feel the need to look outside the marriage.
Crawfish | 5:11 p.m. April 29, 2009
Gee, thanks CRMEATBALL, for that enlightening lesson about our changing bodies!
just me | 5:12 p.m. April 29, 2009
I'm not addicted, I can stop reading my romance novels anytime I want...
really, I can. = )
RE: micheal | 5:16 p.m. April 29, 2009
Don't get you infrmation on amsterdam,
but is just plain nonsense or intentional deception to say there are no violent sex crimes,
when they compare the same as any city in the world that has a red light district.
but is just plain nonsense or intentional deception to say there are no violent sex crimes,
when they compare the same as any city in the world that has a red light district.
To Jessica | 5:19 p.m. April 29, 2009
Got a clue.
The purveyors of porn in Utah are all the non-members, not the Mormons.
The purveyors of porn in Utah are all the non-members, not the Mormons.
mountain or mole hill??? | 5:20 p.m. April 29, 2009
Is pornography in our a society *really* that big of a problem??? I mean, I know
it exists and has existed and will continue to exist, and with technological
advancements it is easier to get a hold of(along with about a million other
things)... but is it seriously "Running rampant" in our society??? Or
is this another case of making a mountain out of mole hill...
Veni, vidi, vici. | 5:41 p.m. April 29, 2009
"The purveyors of porn in Utah are all the non-members, not the
Mormons."
Hahahahaha...Bahahahahah..Heheheho*snort* What is sad is that you actually think this is accurate... and then you wonder why there are so many "anti-mormons"...
Hahahahaha...Bahahahahah..Heheheho*snort* What is sad is that you actually think this is accurate... and then you wonder why there are so many "anti-mormons"...
SFC RET DENNIS | 5:57 p.m. April 29, 2009
To all nay Sayers: If God says it is wrong it is wrong and he will provide
a way to overcome any and all addictive habits.
The scriptures are very clear on how God feels about what we do and do not do. I would prefer to stand be for the judgment seat of God and hear him say, "well done my good and faithful servant", and I don't want to hear him condemn be for doing that which he has stated is wrong and looking at pornography is wrong in the site of god.
So it don't matter what any of us has to say on the subject cause what God says is the only thing that is important. God gives us challenges to help make us strong, opposition in all things so we will know the good from the evil and pornography is evil for God has said so.
As for me and my house we choose to serve God not you or anyone ell's who tries to tear down what God has said is right or wrong.
Come judgment day everyone will be judged and what do you thank God will say of you?
The scriptures are very clear on how God feels about what we do and do not do. I would prefer to stand be for the judgment seat of God and hear him say, "well done my good and faithful servant", and I don't want to hear him condemn be for doing that which he has stated is wrong and looking at pornography is wrong in the site of god.
So it don't matter what any of us has to say on the subject cause what God says is the only thing that is important. God gives us challenges to help make us strong, opposition in all things so we will know the good from the evil and pornography is evil for God has said so.
As for me and my house we choose to serve God not you or anyone ell's who tries to tear down what God has said is right or wrong.
Come judgment day everyone will be judged and what do you thank God will say of you?
to all | 6:09 p.m. April 29, 2009
Mormons as any other people see porn as a problem they need to overcome,
that's the reason you'll see more than any other group receiving
assistance to fight it, wise people may see porn as a virus, if you've been
expose to it, it's better to find medical assistace than to be ashamed, and
it's better to avoid a new contact with it, more if you find yourself
bringing those images back again and again, keeping your mind busy dwelling on
other things will help.
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Mormons tend to over-react if someone is caught looking at any pornography. For example, true story:
My 13 year old non-Mormon friend and my 14 year old Mormon fried were caught looking at a Playboy by my Mormon friend's mother. She completely freaked out and informed the bishop immediately. My Mormon friend had to have regular meetings with the bishop for the next couple of years and he felt a tremendous amount of guilt and shame. When my non-Mormon friend's parents found out, they simply chalked it up to normal adolescent curiosity. There was no shame or guilt.
I don't have to tell you which of my friends grew up more normal and well adjusted (non-Mormon friend).
I see this type of over-reacting behavior in the Church all of the time when it comes to pornography. It is unhealthy.