I feel Brother Card's pain.Since I know about him from various people,I would believe nothing ever said in the negative and would challenge anything said in my presence.Members of my family once lived in his ward in Greensboro-and loved him and his wife.My sons loved him at SVU-the Best LDS college.
In the mid sixties,my family moved to a city in SW Va,let's call it "Roanoke".Since coming from Florida,via LA made us freaks to these hill people,I had two strikes against me in high school.I participated heavily in school activities.The hillbillies did not.Gossip started up that I was drinking beer,doing all matter of evil,just because I did not fit their mold.

It's a shame that this happened. We need to all stop and think about everything we say and everything we pass on. I know I have been guilty of a few things myself that I feel really bad about.

A good rule of thumb: Before you pass on any rumor or gossip ask yourself three things...is it TRUE, is it NEEDFUL, is it KIND? If we can honestly answer all three questions in the affirmative, then go ahead and say it. If NOT, it's a good idea to refrain from passing it on to others.

We can really cause a lot of hurt to others. I had a lot of vicious rumors told about me when I was at a particular institution of higher learning (NOT BYU...at BYU I had a completely different experience). These things were NOT true. I was devastated by this and some of the cruel treatment I received as a result.

I learned a lesson not to automatically believe rumors and gossip. I hope we will all strive to be kind when speaking of others.

I was deeply moved when I read your article. I too, have been gossiped about. At one point 10 women over two weeks had gossiped about me and my children and had decided one of my children had a tumor on her brain and had died at the end of the two weeks. None of it was true and none of them wanted to help, just gossiped. My worst was when my own husband wanted to leave me and the kids so he spread false info to the Stk Pres. and the Bishop about me - Bishop had a loose tongue. We are divorcing-he finally left the me and kids giving us nothing to live on. He works for the Church and spread rumors there as well. Of course, his stories were "truth" and very few wanted to know my side. For 7 years I was shunned, treated poorly by ward members; my children also treated poorly. Last yr, after I moved,he confessed to my Stk. Pres., but did nothing to dispell rumors. Through this I & my kids have stayed active. This has taught my kids to never spread rumors. Lord's gospel is true, sometimes people aren't.

... I still doubt any form of "gossip" is good, even after reading the article. Sure, the dictionary definition isn't necessarily negative, but the connotation almost always is. We use that word so negatively, it's nearly impossible to think of it in a positive way.

Maybe it just doesn't happen often enough (outside the movies) :) that the whole town spreads the news that you're in financial trouble and dumps a pile of money on your table. Maybe it doesn't happen often enough that the whole Primary turns out unannounced for your child's baptism, in gratitude for his good influence. We don't even know how to describe that sort of thing in one single, solitary word. How sad is that?

As someone who has been on the wrong side of gossip often enough to know how much it hurts, I think I'm safe in saying there's no such thing as a good form of it. In any case, we can certainly begin by not judging each other. That'll make it easier to appreciate what's good--and uplift each other rather than tear down.

Most gossip is abusive. This is something LDS members need to do less of. There are few LDS out there who break their necks to air everyone's dirty laundry. It somehow gives them joy in doing so.

Malicious gossip is horrible, but it is even worse when it is spread about youth and children. My home teacher spread extremely hurtful gossip about my child and as a result this child has not gone back to Church. My other children also refuse to go to Church because of the hurt this trusted home teacher caused. They cannot trust the people at Church no matter how nice they try to be because the home teacher was also nice to their faces. That is the problem with gossip, you never know if the people spreading it are malicious or not. They smile to your faces, then destroy you behind your back. This results in you not being able to trust all the smiles no matter if they are sincere or not. Even "good gossip" is a false front. That is why there really is no such thing as "good gossip". Gossip is talking about others when they are not present. The only time that should be done is when the person who is not present gives their permission. Otherwise, it is always bad gossip because it destroys trust and completely severs the victims of gossip from the village.

To Card is Wrong,

I have apologized for that! Just drop it and move on! I tried to be a good home teacher and I made one mistake! Your bitterness only hurts more and longer!

Yes gossip is so wrong and it definately hurts people in a long lasting way. The best thing that you can do if you are gossipped about is to remember who you are, that the gossip isn't true, and that you need to live in such a way to prove the gossip wrong. I have lived through this in a very hurtful way. I couldn't move away from it for years. But through prayer, scripture study and service to others, I have gained a lot of strength that has blessed my life in the long run. I have become friends with my enemies (though I don't tell them my private thoughts), prayed for my enemies, and turned the situation around as much as possible. I have been healed through the atonement of Jesus Christ. I have great love and caring for others and this trial has made me a stronger person. Forgiveness is such a freeing and blessed thing. It blesses the forgiver so much and brings great blessings. Let anger and resentment go. It hurts the one who harbors it more than anyone. Only your own actions can truly hurt you.

I am not member of the LDS Church(my husband is) but I and my family have been victims of "Ward Gossip". A rumour was spread that my husband and I were divorcing and that I was a 'Liar' (which a well-meaning LDS woman told me.) I publicly corrected the former rumour, when I was publicly asked about it and corrected the second by making a friend of the woman who called me a liar. I think she realized she was mistaken!