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Not that into her? Then don't tease

Excellent points!

Is it just me, or has anyone else noticed that Mr. Card is spending a lot of time on dating advice. Maybe he should start righting a relationship advice column for the D-News.

To all you men who read this, you'll notice it is advise to SINGLE MEN--not married men. I know 3 married men who--by their own admission--are "not that into" their wives, and treat them in shameless, appallingly selfish ways.

They were all for marriage when life was easy and rosy. And now, when there is hard work to be done and there is a huge need for compassion and affection and commitment and sharing hard times and things together, they would rather have wondering eyes,, and wondering loyalties and wondering hearts.

Men: If you CHOOSE to marry--that officially ENDS your days of thinking "I'm not that into her."

Its up to you to be the man she wanted and thought she married, and not an millstone hanging around her neck. GET WITH IT!!!! (or be prepared to pay the price for breaking the heart of a woman who once BELIEVED your professions and promises of love and devotion.)

Scott is absolutely on target. Unfortunately, I believe there are going to be a few "righteous" priesthood holders who are going to be very surprised at the judgement seat when they are called to account for some very selfish, CADDISH behavior toward women.

Thanks to Scott for having the maturity and honesty to speak the truth.

I find it to be just the opposite, the woman is always looking for some spiritual revelation telling them who to marry! They just settle with a guy for attention until they are swept off thier toes by a god given man! Keep waiting ladies and keep stringing your halfman along! Men are not the ones looking for attention that is a woman thing, we have plenty of things to keep our attention, we dont look to relationships for attention. Every single mormon girl i dated was always just looking for attention, while waiting for the "Righteous Man"!

To The Other Way Around: This is the typical rationalization of the kind of guys who do these things. Whenever the Brethren get up and scold them for their bad behavior it is always "someone else" they are talking to or "The brethen just don't care about us, they only care about the women." Another one is "I just can't find anyone in the Church. I'm going to start dating outside the Church." These guys have the cream of the earth to choose from and they can't find anyone good enough.

The fact is, most of these guys are just too selfish to love anybody. They use women to fill their needs and then move on to the next one, playing with the emotions of each as they go.

Ask ANY bishop of a singles' ward and he will tell you that EVERYTHING in this article and EVERYTHING I've said is the truth. I promise, you guys are going to get a rude awakening one of these days.

Fortunately, there actually are a few good and righteous priesthood holders out there. My husband is one of them.

I agree with this article. There are too many selfish men out there who are just looking to fill their selfish needs for the moment. When they're bored of the "relationship", they move on to the next victim. WOMEN NEED MORE! I haven't met a single woman who hasn't been exploited by a "righteous priesthood holder". It's gotten to the point in my dating that I don't believe there are any righteous priesthood holders out there. Why do we women put up with this crap??? We are the ones allowing this to happen.

There's a lot of gloomy sentiment about this topic, but I think a lot of these failures come because the world is influencing guys and gals to wait and be "really really" certain before getting married. Then when you are married, there's no worldly accolade for sticking together. And finally the world's ideals of what makes a good mate is entirely screwed up. The desire for marriage often comes from our parents attitudes about marriage, and when it doesn't exist we search for an attitude from the people and media sources most readily available. The fact is that many young LDS are too young for marriage, but it should always be a goal. I've a friend who didn't like himself and really struggled to date when he was younger. Then he reached the "menace-to-society" age, and gave up for a while. For the last decade he's desperately wanted to be married. Last year he found someone. His stories about the LDS women he has dated, however, would make a great horror-comedy. Baggage, deceit, insincerity, no communication skills, guilt trips, lack of interest... it really is a two-way street.