Deseret News | Reader comments: Thankful for son's years

Reader comments
Thankful for son's years

Thank You | 5:34 a.m. Nov. 27, 2008

Thank you for this story. I lost my brother to suicide nine years ago. There is a very close parallel to his story and this one. It was helpful for me to read this. Suicide is such a difficult burden for survivors to carry. Should have, could have, would have. It seems there is a never ending stream of things that go through your mind as to what you could have done better. Like Eric, we did not understand the symptoms until it was way too late. We are very sorry that we weren't aware. Turning your life into being a help to others in recognizing this is wonderful. Thank you for your efforts. I'm sure your thanks from others will fuel your desire to continue on. I have no doubt that this will help others. Best wishes to you.

Laura | 6:07 a.m. Nov. 27, 2008

Beautiful.

Oly Jr. | 7:52 a.m. Nov. 27, 2008

I went to junior high with Jeff and we had a few classes together in 8th grade. Nobody would have ever known about his depression. He seemed happy and just a normal teenager like everybody else. Most of my friends had crushes on him. I also remember he was very good at basketball. He moved away 9th grade year, and when we heard that he had passed away, we were all in shock. I'm glad to see that his dad has learned about depression and has done so much to help others. He is a hero.

Comments continue below

AC | 7:59 a.m. Nov. 27, 2008

This is such an important story and message to get out there! Depression is real and treatable. You don't have to live in pain.

Logan | 8:21 a.m. Nov. 27, 2008

I find it trajic that Jeff had two parents whom neither of which could get a handle on his situation. He was just a terrific kid who was pulled between two selfish parents in Utah and Michigan. Eric has faced his demons, I wonder of Jan will face hers?

rl | 8:47 a.m. Nov. 27, 2008

Thanks for an inspiring story. At 59 I now realize I've lived with depression for some time as did my Mother. While I'm being treated, it's like continuing to shovel snow all the time... you just want the snow to end so you can get the sidewalk cleared.It's good to see this illness get some space in print for the general public.So many of us put on the 'game face' each day and function the best we can while facing the day.

Gentry | 8:48 a.m. Nov. 27, 2008

I fought with depression from 2002 to 2004 with my ex-husband after his mother had passed away. I understand the signs as well as the problems it causes in a relationship for couple as well as the rest of the family. It was cause of our divorce. You are the Hero when it comes to knowing the signs yes you have faced your demons and will continue to face them when situations come up in your life, but just remember the Lord is on your side if you only seek him out to help you. The quote that has always stuck with me is "I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it" Our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ said that.

to Logan: | 8:50 a.m. Nov. 27, 2008

I don't think you understand chemical imbalance, which is the defining mastermind behind depression. The parents may have not been able to see the traits, especially if any of them are depressants also. There may have been selfishness with the parents but it should not make a person commit suicide over it.

UROK | 8:53 a.m. Nov. 27, 2008

It takes courage to honestly face your challenges and heartaches. Healing is aided by forgiveness and empathy from all parties involved. Thanks, Eric, for bringing this skeleton out of your closet and helping the rest of us to become a little bit more sensitive to others' pain. Reading this article was a good way to start my Thanksgiving. I look forward to reading your book.

Thank you for this! | 10:10 a.m. Nov. 27, 2008

This is an excellent article and hopefully people who have sibblings, friends, or friends will be able to respond with love and understanding.

We ALL need to be able to reach out to help ANYONE who is in need to help them to reach their full potential before something terrible happens.

Thank you again for the courage to help us all recognize this very important message regarding depression.

I do believe it was a factor in my divorce and I wish that I had understood and been better able to help my spouse at the time.

To Logan | 10:28 a.m. Nov. 27, 2008

Not a time to judge others. The pain should be enough. Best wishes to both parents, wherever they may be.

Gary O | 10:45 a.m. Nov. 27, 2008

Thank you for this great article. A thank you also to Eric for his efforts to combat depression and make people aware of it. It's insidious and creeps into every facet of your life without you even knowing it. I had seriously considered suicide about 2 years ago, I even planned it. Thankfully God helped me realize that I needed help. I got that help and no longer consider that horrible option. But like one man's comment read, it's a lifelong job to keep on top of your depression and to get "tune-ups" when you need them.

Touching | 10:49 a.m. Nov. 27, 2008

I don't normally like a suicide story on the front page of the thanksgiving paper, but this was very, very well done. It's an important message to get out.

Terry | 1:08 p.m. Nov. 27, 2008

Thanks for this story. It was a great way to start today. We need to read about depression and other mental illnesses. We need to strive for understanding.

As an USU Aggie, I've been a fan of Eric Hipple for a long time. He became a hero today after reading this article.

I, too, have suffered depresion for many years. I was diagnosed in 1989 with major depression. The battle began years before but like Eric I didn't know what I was battling. The battle continues today but the combination of education about depression, medications, therapy and loving support of family and friends, I'm still here. For this, I am thankful.

I look forward to reading Eric's book.

Anon | 3:04 p.m. Nov. 27, 2008

Both a tragic and inspiring story...and an extremely important message.

It touched me deeply as I can relate to many of the feelings described. I thought that's how everyone was because I had lived that way (depressed) for so long and thought that everyone thought of suicide (a lot). When things began to get really bad for about a year I prayed every night for God to give me the strength to pull myself out of bed, go to work and get through just one more day. I would come home, cry the rest of the night, and do it all again. No one would have guessed that about me. I'm now seeking help because of a friend and confidante who has encouraged and helped me. I'm very thankful for that.

Bless Eric for what he is doing to help others now. May we all recognize when help is needed and truly help each other.

Henry Drummond | 4:59 p.m. Nov. 27, 2008

I am a college professor and have students who are going through many of the same things mentioned in this article. Sometimes they are able to get help and find the right combination of medications that help them live normal lives. Other times, it just seems to be a continual problem. I think times are changing, but unfortunately many people still stigmatize depression or honestly believe that these people can just change if they really want to. There is also a proliferation of "therapists" who I really don't think know how to treat depression but are licensed to do so anyway.

I hope this article can help lead to a solution.

Reggie | 10:39 p.m. Nov. 27, 2008

After reading this article I contemplated writing a few lines. For many years, three marriages, self destruction,physical and sexual abuse as a child I am now aware of the daily battle of depression, I have come so close to the end on several occasions. I watched Eric Hipple play QB at Utah State. I did not know of his battle with depression or the death of his son. I have been to a half dozen therapists and taken the medications which I have due to the side effects. Only the birth of my daughter who is now eight keeps me alive, but still there is no light is not very bright for me. I hope that last straw does not fall. I am here today but almost every day I think about it. I know the consequences of my actions and will be held accountable for what may happen. I hate the holiday season for the lonliness. It more that just being lonely, That thought is always there. I am looking forward to Eric's book and know the battle is real and know that it never goes away. I will endure to the end. Keep the faith.

Big Gorilla | 11:24 p.m. Nov. 27, 2008

Reggie, hang in there. I too have suffered from depression most of my life. It was my kids that kept me going. The pain was unbearable. The worst pain I have ever felt. It is unexplainable. There is hope. There is help. I was sexually abused as a child. I was an alcoholic at an age when most kids are thinking about going to the prom. I was very self-destructive. I have had many marriages. Lost a good job too. But life did get better for me. I found hope and the miracle of healing. Hang it there buddy.

Mac | 4:58 a.m. Nov. 28, 2008

Such a familiar ring to this story; it is mine, too. Substance abuse, reckless driving, something to make myself able to feel anything but the dull ache that filled my mind.

I couldn't kill myself because I couldn't do it to my wife and kids (I knew too well how much pain that would cause them). And thanks to them and the hope that is available to believers in Christ, I somehow got better (and add good friends, who didn't abandon me when I drifted away, and understanding priesthood leaders to the list - I really can count my blessings). But it's still a struggle - you can't get complacent about it.

Anonymous | 1:50 p.m. Nov. 28, 2008

I appreciate those who are willing to speak publicly about a very private pain. Many will be enlightened and educated today and will be better people because of it. I've noticed lately that some obituaries will even state the cause of death as suicide or addiction and I appreciate that. It helps take the stigma away by showing these events can and do happen to good people from good families also. It isn't exclusive to people with traumatic pasts.

Sith | 2:02 p.m. Nov. 28, 2008

This is one of the most misunderstood topic in the world and I'm glad to see people like Eric Hipple out there talking and educate the public about depression. My hat is off to you Mr. Hipple and thank you for all that you do.

observer | 9:21 p.m. Nov. 28, 2008

I have battled Depression for many years. I am convinced that the only people who understand what it's like to live with Depression are people who have had to fight it in their own lives. I have yet to find a Mental Health Professional who has even the slightest clue as to what it's like. I have considered suicide many, many times and still do on a regular basis. I just fear what God would do to me if I took my own life. So I keep fighting it. I've tried medications, prayer, "therapy" (most of which is a crock) and everything I can think of. Nothing, as yet, has worked. All I can do is hang in and hope for the best. For those who have Depression who have posted on this forum before me....I understand. I really do. Let's hang in there for each other.

MOM | 7:11 p.m. Nov. 30, 2008

I read with interest the comments on the suicide of Jeff Hipple. I can feel the pain and frustration. Our oldest son, age 41, committed suicide 5 years ago. He had battled bipolar for at lease twenty years. He had had a regime of medications that had stablized him somewhat through those years, yet he suffered with the side effects and the stigma. Just before he died he was having a particular difficult time. Our family had tried to be there for him at all times, but this time seemed different. We recommended he see another psychiatrist, which he did. This "doctor" took him off all his meds, refused to hospitalize him, gave him a pack of pills for epilisy and told him to try these for 30 days and return. He made it to day 28! Our son lived in another state and we just didn't reach him in time when we realized things were spinning out of control. We tried to get him to check himself into a hospital, but he insisted to us that he would be getting better. We are devastated! Woulda, coulda, SHOULDA. We will never be the same. The guilt and loss are insurmountable.

MBates | 11:36 a.m. Dec. 1, 2008

It's good to hear from you again, Eric. I admired you when we were both students at USU and I admire you more now -- for your battle with depression and for your courage in sharing it with the rest of us. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and Jann and your families

Scott Parker | 3:34 p.m. Dec. 2, 2008

I applaud Eric for sharing his story and his courage to bring this very important topic to the forefront through his own personal and tragic experiences. I hope his work reaches many. I am married to Eric's X-wife Jann. She is a wonderful woman who has demonstrated nothing but love, compassion, courage and determination when it comes to the subject of her son and his premature death. As a father of six children, I cannot even imagine the pain both Jann and Eric and their daughter Erica have had to deal with in Jeff's death. Jann has helped many on the Wasatch Front through a support group she attended with other survivors of suicide for several years. Serving others was one thing that helped her get through this unthinkable experience.

Regarding the story, it would have been nice if the Deseret News would have notified Jann that her son's picture was going to be on the front page of their Thanksgiving Day issue. You can only imagine what it was like for her to see his picture Thanksgiving morning in this format. Just a common courtesy that was completely over-looked.

Rick Traver | 2:40 p.m. Dec. 8, 2008

I have lived with depression for most of my life, i am 35 years old, and think about suicide everyday. I read Erics article, and have since then decided to fight back. I am tired of living like this. I am happy to see that i am not alone in this world, that there are many who suffer as i do. I am happy that there are those who understand why i can't get out of bed in the mornings. Why i put a gun inside of my mouth five years ago, why i want to kill myself everyday but can't. It is HELL to live like this. No one but me knows about my condition. Not my family, not my friends, not even my two children. They are the reason i am still here today in my opinion. That's why i could not pull the trigger that day. My brain said yes, but my heart said no. Just like everyone who suffers from this horrible disease, i am very good at putting on the happy face that everyone is used to. But it is fake, they don't know that i am dead inside. I am going to FIGHT!!!!!!

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