Comments about ‘The woman who crawled to the phone’

The high baby ratio in Utah may in reality save the state economy. Several countries in Europe and Asia have resorted to paying parents to have babies because there aren't enough babies born to replace the aging population. The real problems arise when their isn't enough young people entering the job force to replace the retiring workforce. It's the employed who pay the taxes and fuel the economic growth. Utah may be one of the few locations that won't have to deal with a negative population growth and all of the associated problems.

Wow! A positive comment about Utah's "high baby ratio", instead of the usual comments which take any article's subject to find a way to bash the LDS Church. I'm pleasantly surprised.

I am one of the "boomers" who will be turning 65 in two years. I still work full time, take care of a husband who is 2 years younger than me and on dialysis, teach my 8yr old grandson who is home schooled and try to spend some time doing things I enjoy in the few moments I have to myself. My "retirement plan" for now seems to be to work until I die. However, as my husbands health has declined I am having to make choices about things I didn't think I would need to change for years to come. Currently we live in a multi-level home we own and because he has issues with the stairs we will need to sell and move. The housing market sucks so our retirement will be lost in the sale of our home. Most likely we will begin sharing a home with my daughter and her family, so my husband isn't at home alone. That means selling everything we don't absolutely need. This isn't the life I hoped for but it is reality. When thinking about "boomers" don't always presume that we aren't facing the "future" realistically.

We should be taking better care of each other. Especially the elderly and the young. Family has always been the answer, but it is not always able to do the job alone, community should be more willing to step in and help... Especially the WEALTHY, but all know where their money goes! Yachts, different homes all over the world, expensive luxury items, etc., etc.

Oh well... I know I am just dreaming.

Agree, Europe pays their families to have children and the raters are still declining.

This article couldn't have been more timely. I am in the middle of these issues with my own parents. You can't imagine how taxing everything is. The legislature needs to address this issue in the next session. Now is the time to start preparing--as families and as a state.

I know I am not going to be able to get this said in less then 200 words.

We have a grandma's apartment and I take care of my 82 year old mother in law, she has FSHMD, a form of muscular dystrophy. Over 16 years ago, my first husband died from a disease, at that young age, I learned how to find solutions to things. This has been a great blessing in this situation, and down the road, since my husband now has the same disease that his mother has.

When my MIL was able to take care of herself, except for some falls, we used a rescue alert, but she stopped walking about six months ago, so she requires complete care. The rescue alert was a great help, before that, she would fall and crawl to a phone. We also got her a seat lift chair and recently a hospital bed.

This required that I quit working part time. We are not able to take any trips or go for long periods of time. I have been doing 100% care and burnout is happening. Here is where wisdom is required.

We are going to have someone come every morning to get my MIL up, so that I am not "owned" 24/7. In order for me to give her proper care and companionship, I need to not do it all. We just purchased a lift that takes little effort, once it is figured out. As people get older, they get weaker and we as caregivers have to listen to their bodies, we have to be aware of every movement, we have to see what they won't say.

My hope is that my MIL will die in her home, not because of the money, but because for her, that is what is best.

I learned with my deceased husband, you have to have a sense of humor, be it from a fall, or when you don't get to the bathroom in time, or having someone cleaning personal areas. We can laugh or cry, and when we get upset or frustrated, it sucks the energy out of the patient and they can't help themselves as much, which is more work for the caregiver. Stay tuned for part 3

Now in my 82nd year, I can sympathize with the situation of the older folks. Though weaker than I used to be, I am still very capable of functioning in almost all areas. Having foolishly ignored the advice about debt of the General Authorities of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I accumulated many debts and am now in the situation of losing my home of over sixteen years. After reaching eighty it is very difficult to find proper employment that pays anything, so my wife, in her 71st year has been finding part time employment, but it is insufficient to maintain a household, so we will be moving in with my son and his family in short time. He and his family were also foreclosed on their house, but have fortunately found another, which though quite small, he has moved into. He was temporarily unemployed, but he and his wife are now both partially employed.

I retire this year. Some things I won't do: sit on my behind in front of a TV; not exercise; pig out on sugar filled "foods"; sleep in; be a couch potato.
What I will do: ride my bicycle for transportation; eat healthy (low fat, low sugar); read; study; work in the yard; work in neighbors yards; do service for others.

The person who sits, dies.

I hate to tell you this, but people who work their butts off die also. I see more fit people dying of heart attacks, so be careful in being a pot calling the kettle black. If you were to look at my husband, you would think all is great with him, but he has a disease that has affected his lungs and also he has muscle loss from this disease. It is great that you do what you plan, but it is rude and shallow for you to judge others, I suggest that you do service for those who you are so willing to attack, maybe you will understand them more.

To Casey: MASSIVE problem around the world now days ... children don't seem to have the "helping" genes of their grandparents and parents so more and more and more elderly don't get the understanding and help they need. In this case, we apparently aren't able to replenish the past.

Thanks for the article, I look forward to more. This is the kind of thing this baby boomer needs to help her get moving to a more positive lifestyle, economically and physically. I am working on the physical, and as for the economical side of it, I have consolidated two credit cards for a lower rate, and am paying larger payments to get it paid off. Then it's time to build the savings account. I am spending less money at the grocery store, and buying more things that provide a nutrition boost. As for To Thomas, I'm sorry your husband is sick, but I didn't see anything judgmental about Thomas' comments, just someone who wants to be proactive. May God Bless you and help you with your challenges.

My 87 year old widowed father, who'd been a resident of Idaho for 37 years, was forcibly relocated to an assisted living facility out of state. A social worker who spent maybe 30 minutes in my father's home, decided he could no longer live alone. Court action was brought against my father and his children (we were determined to be negligent); a court appointed guardian, conservator and guardian ad-litem were brought in. Our family had no control over personal/medical decisions regarding my father, his money; even his mail was diverted. We hired an attorney to fight for our father's rights. Four months later the family was named legal guardian/conservator. By the time Idaho was finished with him my father had $900 to his name. All costs borne by this legal action were taken from my father's life savings and paid to those who "went after" him and his family. A child witnessed the Depression and never accepted government help was now broken by the very system that was designed to protect him. He is now in assisted living..lonely, sad and missing his old life. Words can't describe our anger at this terrible injustice. Watch out Utah.

Thank you for this wonderful article. Even the very old need to feel that they still have their free agency. Let's remember that.

Bayoubabe, times have changed - for the worse, I fear. They tried that with my mother in NorthDakota. I lived in a different state. When the case worker asked my mother when she stated disliking people, Mom told her, it was just her she disliked because she was prying into her personal business. Noone had called SocialServices. Seems this young zealot had determined she was the answer to all aging people. I made emergency trip back. Interviewed the case worker. Told her to stay away from the house. Saw her boss & suggested he keep her away. Got a lawyer who had a court injunction prepared & ready to go just incase they didn't comply. My mother was blind, but had lived inthe same house for 56 years at the time. Knew every squeak of the floor. Could go anywhere. Take care of herself. I got a visiting homemaker who did shopping/cleaning. My mother remained independent up until 7 days before she died. I'm sorry that things have changed so that the Nanny state knows best! It is only going to get worse, I fear. Will include bayoubabe/her family in our family prayers. There in lessthan 200 words.

I am 61, my husband is 55, we had our debts paid except for the house and small credit card bill. We had about $60,000 put away in investments and savings toward retirement and he was in a 401K at work. Then 2 years ago some unexpected legal problems caused a 7 month loss of his job, legal fees, mounting credit card debt used to meet daily needs, uninsured medical bills, etc. Coupled with the mess the stock market is in, we now have about $24,000 in investments, which go up and down on a daily basis. No more savings, much debt. Our plans for retirement years have all changed, and we both have problems with arthritis, plus I need knee replacement surgery. But I can't afford either the surgery or the time off work. The best laid plans can be derailed in moments. We now face working until we no longer can, just to make ends meet and keep a roof over our heads. I drive a 95 Jeep that needs to be replaced, but we can't. I only hope that our jobs and our health hold out as long as needed.

It is very sad to watch the aging process take its toll. I am only 20 but live with my mom who is 50 and my grandma who is 85. I watch my mom take care of my grandma daily, who has fallen three different times recently even braking her leg, while her other siblings only call grandma occasionally and stop by sparingly to check up. Kudos to those elderly people being strong and independent and the family members taking care of those that can't.

With so many resources available, people can plan ahead and prepare their homes so they can live in them safely for a very long time. We went through this with my MIL, she has dimentia, I think everyone was in denial and NONE of us knew about the resources available. There are so many wonderful resources available right now and a growing contingent of people whose main focus is to help the elderly. I am now a Senior Real Estate Specialist and advise people on what they can do to remain in their home longer and/or what their options are. Information is power, people need to do their research. Ageing doesn't need to be a horrible, scary thing. Have the conversations with your parents and older relatives early and often! These elderly people can be a source of joy and happiness rather than a burden.

"Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be!"