Deseret News | MormonTimes.com: Engaged — but just for the reunion

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MormonTimes.com: Engaged — but just for the reunion

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Anonymous | 1:48 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

this is the silliest story imaginable. There is so much phoniness and pretentiouness in the Mormon culture and the pressure to be married and all that when a young person gets back from his mission is so ridiculous. Let people be individuals and who they are. Why have to feel like you have to impress other missionaries and put on a big show.

Anon | 5:08 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

I agree Anonymous I went to my mission reunion not caring what they thought. I just wanted to check up on old friends. The thought never crossed my mind if I should be driving a BMW or have a handsome guy on my arm. What a ridiculous story.

That's not Mormon culture | 5:10 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

That's Mortal culture.
The phoniness and pretensiousness at high school & college reunions is nationwide, and involves just a few in every group and age.

Advertisers have made big bucks for decades promising quick weight loss, hairpieces, etc "for the reunion."

Seeking to impress has been with us for millenia. Some people even stay up in the middle of the night to publish why they can look down on others.

Comments continue below

Smarter | 6:03 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

I never felt any pressure like that at a mission reunion. I just enjoyred seeing my friends again. The Don would feel the need to do this says nothing about Mormon culture but a lot about Don's insecurity. It's really a strange thing to do.

Anonymous | 6:06 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

I never felt like that. How stupid to write something like this. Some arrogant people may feel like this but please... most do not. What a stupid article.

Ernest T. Bass | 7:00 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

Seriously?
Most of these articles are horrible but this one takes it to a whole new level.

Stupid | 7:19 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

This article was not worth the bandwidth it wastes, what a joke. NOBODY cares if you are engaged at a mission reunion. The Des News sure has gone downhill. Now I am reminded why I don't read it much.

RM? | 7:35 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

Some people have a difficult time transitioning from childish high school behavior to the adult world. But why would a silly girl want to advertise that she's still a silly girl. It's time to move up, child! And the RM certainly ought to do the same.

lu lu | 8:33 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

This article is right on and cuts to the core of the feelings of every person who attends one of these missionary reunions. Human nature is that we all want to show every other person in the world that we are worthwhile and successful. I know that the Church has placed me in my position as a returned missionary to help guide others less fortunate than myself and that it is my duty to show that the only thing that really matters in this world is the fact that I drive a BMW. How can I truly serve theLord if I am not successful and feel that I am on the same level as every other person in the Church. Some of us have to be examples and some of you have to wake up and realize that there are those of us who truly are better than others spiritually, physically, economically and in every other way. Get used to it. I am more than willing to share my skills with others in the Church and even talk to old missionary companions who aren't as successful as I hoped they would be. I'll see you at the reunion.

Slow News Day??? | 8:33 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

There are so many great, or interesting, or inspiring things that could be written about--it you're trying to take the focus off the financial doom and gloom.
This was NOT one of them.

Cats | 8:38 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

To Ernest T Bass and all the other professional Mormon haters: Most of the articles in Mormon Times are really excellent. This one, unfortunately, was silly. I really am surprised it got published.

Calm Down Everyone | 8:41 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

This isnt meant to be a hard hitting story. For those of you who go to the Mormon News for that kind of story, its obvious you've only ever lived in Utah. Its a fluff piece enjoy it for what it is. Its just a funny satire. If it was piece on how nice it is to see your friends, this wouldn't have printed. Don't lie either, every one of you cared what people thought at the reunion. To this extreme maybe not, but it was a joke. This piece was perfect for this kind of publication. I have work to do so I'll leave all you cultured Utahans to your citicizing.

cheese | 8:50 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

amazing journalism

Cats | 9:01 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

To Calm Down Everyone: That was certainly a patronizing, superior, insulting blog. Whether someone lives in Utah or not has nothing to do with his/her opinion of the article.

You know, the Lord has said, "if you are not one, you are not mine." As members of the Church it is important for us to be united and supporting each other and not putting each down based on where we are from. I hope you will think about this.

Missionaire Franco-Suisse | 9:04 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

My experience with going to missionary reunions was somewhat different. The first few years that I went to them fun and filled with joy at seeing my old friends and companions and renewing the bonds of friendship. The pretensions started later when other people who served later that I did not know started hosting them with the sole purpose of showing off their McMansions and bragging about all their wonderful lives they had been living, etc. I found them rather boorish and quit going.

Timj | 9:32 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

Sounds like a fun practical joke.
I don't think it was intended to be any more than that.
Otherwise, why let people in on it at the end of the night?

AM | 10:18 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

Come on, does everything have to be serious? Lighten up and just enjoy a good story. She didn't say it really happened. Stories are written to enjoy. Who doesn't add a little embellishment to liven things up? If you can't laugh at yourself there's something wrong.

To: Cats | 10:18 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

Thanks for your comments.

We should all RISE ABOVE the "human" tendency to
be petty, small minded, insecure, and judgemental.

The GOSPEL (especially at Conference time)
should bring us all together where we all are
moving in a Positive direction. Isn't that
what the Lord, Jesus would want??

There's no need for a "high school re-union"
type mentality here.

Thank You All and God Bless.

Hope you all get some Positive Spiritual Food
from the Conference.

Charles | 10:19 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

I'm sure we all at one time or another have felt a little unsure of ourselves and worry about out status compared to others, that is not unusual. I've never been to a missionary reunion since I got off my mission back in 1980. Not that I wouldn't have minded renewing old missionary friends, but simply never took the time.
From my perspective now for anyone who wants to go and has time, go and enjoy. If you are doing your best whatever your life's pursuits are and have the light of the gospel or are seeking to the blessings of renewed faith and hope, nothing else should be of concern.

Personal Injury Attorney | 10:27 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

I've never felt the need to flaunt my wealth or success at my annual mission reunion. Most returned missionaries just don't care about the material trappings of life. DISCLAIMER: I drive a BMW and so does my wife. It doesn't mean I am worldly. All it means is that I value safety and reliability in the vehicles that I drive.

DSS | 10:33 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

What lame humor. There can't be more than 10 people in the world who would find this worth reading.

Rufus | 11:14 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

I did the same thing, but not on purpose. I was tired of being the only one who came alone to mission reunions, when a friend's roommate offered to come with me. There wasn't any fake ring or made up stories, but everybody jumped to conclusions. Years afterward people still ask about her at reunions. I have to tell them she's married and now has two kids.

Yes, yes, this article isn't an example of great journalism, but it doesn't claim to be. It's just an anecdote showing how easy it is to fool those who spend so much time trying to "keep up with the Joneses" at Mission Reunions.

From the Midwest | 11:24 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

You people are funny. I completely agree with Calm Down. This is just a funny story that's intended for the purpose of poking a little fun at our culture. Laugh at it and then go find something depressing about the stock market to read.

Funny | 11:29 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

I go to reunions to see how well my friends are doing, and to see how much more beautiful the Ilongga Who Got Away gets every year!

I'm successful in my post-mission life, but I don't think that more than two or three of the people at the reunion know how much money I make or the kind of car I drive. We are too busy talking about IMPORTANT things.

Brenda | 11:34 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

To DSS
Count me as one of the ten. I thought it was great good fun and not to be taken seriously. Just enjoy it, people. There's so much serious stuff going on right now that it's a pleasure to have a bit of comic relief. Why should a newspaper only have to print doom, gloom and tragic news. Way to go Deseret News.

awesomeron | 11:36 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

I can't get through on this one. So I will simply say it was a silly idea.

Amen... | 11:48 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

....to Earnest T. Bass (from "Andy Griffith", right?).

Talk about a poor piece of "journalism." I'm so embarrassed for Deseret News.

RE: Personal Injury Attorney | 11:49 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

I would suggest if you are not so self centered or prideful of accomplishment you would not need to present your occupation. Flaunting and pride is ingrained in the LDS culture and is a very significant short coming of the culture of Utah.

awesomeron | 11:54 a.m. Sept. 30, 2008

Wealth creates Jobs. It also creates the time, and ability to serve. God never said don't make money. God said Tithe 10% of your Income and first fruits of your increase. After that you can buy what you want and give what you want. I love my PT and my 1989 9 Passenger Chevy Van. I got the title on both. My wife has a Honda CRV, 4 wheel drive so when it snows in Hawaii she will be safe. Global Warming and all. I wish I had a Missionary Reunion to go to. We should have nothing against honest wealth. Except to try to obtain some.

Better Ring | 12:13 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

I wish Don would have called. I would have given him my ex-wife's ring so he (and you) could have used the genuine article. Ooops, sorry. Not the thing to write about missionary reunions, is it?

Hi, Moderator | 12:44 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

I've written two posts already on the fact that this story is a sad commentary on the superficiality and pretentiousness that threatens to invade our culture. Both have apparently been killed.

In one, I asked why we wonder that single adults in the church feel stigmatized when people like Don and Molly (the would-be Trophy Fiancee) feel like they have to psychologically validate themselves by pretending to be engaged at mission reunions. In another, I replied to lulu@8:33, wondering if this was subtle satire I should applaud or blatant sanctimony I should condemn (and hopefully the first!). Both posts were apparently killed.

I realize that it might be somewhat controversial to say that this incident is more of a LIE than a JOKE. I obviously disagree with people who say this is no big deal and a funny article--since neither is true, as I see it. But that's my opinion, and besides, you've allowed rhetoric just as inflammatory (Anonymous@6:06, Stupid@7:19, etc.) on this board as anything I'd ever THOUGHT about writing.

I would appreciate some--or any!--consistency in the way you screen your comments. Thanks!

Ema | 1:24 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

Well, I thought it was funny. And seriously, of course some missionaries feel this kind of pressure! Two of my husband's best friends got home from their missions this past year; one met a girl and married her before he had been home nine months, and the other is completely obsessed with finding a girlfriend and actually broke up with a girl he really liked after a month because she wasn't ready to get married. Soooo typical. It looks like this was really just a practical joke, though, poking at the culture.

Charles | 1:41 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

At the end of this article I laughed and laughed. It was funny and a great example of being worried about what everyone else thinks about our station in life.

What's sad is that there are so many on here that are so serious about everything that they can't see the humor in this article.

Life is full of serious issues but we definitely need to make time to laugh and enjoy life....

Anti-PC Infidel | 2:04 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

Wow. Some people aren't just anti-Mormons, they're void of a sense of humor as well. That means they're stupid AND boring.

Ernest T. Bass | 2:07 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

re: Cats
You need to get out and read a little more. These articles are typically quite bad and embarassing but this one takes it to a whole new level.
Why would you call me a Mormon hater? You have no idea how involved I am in The Church.

Shesh | 2:18 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

Calm down people...Cant you guys take a joke!?

RE: Ernest T@2:07 | 2:33 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

FULLY AGREED. This article is an embarrassment to everything I believe in. It's pathetic to see that anyone feels the need to bring a "Trophy Fiancee" to a mission reunion--much less that a girl actually agrees to play such a role.

I can't quite figure out which facet of this story bothers me most: The materialism (awesomeron, right that having money is no problem--worshipping it and material objects is), the deception and fakery involved in putting up such a false front, or the fact that people honestly think this article was funny.

I believe in laughing at myself and Mormon culture every bit as much as the next guy, but this time, I'm laughing out of disbelief and embarrassment.

Wisdom is the principle thing | 2:50 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

"To be or not to be, that is the question".
We are so judgemental, it was a funny story. Entertainment is good medicine and timely in this very sober world (no pun intended). I wonder how many of you who are demanding justice and integrity are using their employer's time to add to this thread? Judge ye not and chill, funny story.

SLC gal | 2:55 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

This winner went to BYU didn't he......

Bryan | 3:04 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

Most of you people are UNBELIEVABLE! this was not meant to be serious. Yes FULLY AGREED, I thought it was funny and I am in my 60's and have never been to a missionary reunion. (Although if anyone knows if the British Mission circa 1964-66 is holding one please let me know.) No one is making fun of the LDS church. Conference is going to be great. Let's get serious then.

@2:33 | 3:13 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

you are the exactly the type of person who needs to learn how to laugh at humor.

Your comments tell us you are so wound up you don't know what to do each day to relax.

ETBass...we know who you are and what you do. You tell us each and every day. You claim membership in the LDS Church but you sure don't stand by the doctrines of said church.

As Chieko Okazaki's book title says... LIGHTEN UP!

Say it ain't so | 3:22 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

Please tell me this article was just a poor attempt at LDS-culture satire. It wasn't funny, it wasn't accurate, and it wasn't faithful to the fundamental principles of the Church (at least, I thought I remembered something about lying and mammon somewhere in there. Could be wrong.) DesNews: If you want funny, watch for my anti-typical-perfect-family-Christmas-letter I'll be submitting as a demonstration of what this article might have been. Some things cry out for a GENUINE satirical dressing-down. This goof's mission reunion ain't one of those things.

Allison | 3:30 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

Lame stunt and lame article. So being deceptive is okay as long as it's harmless? What about this trying to impress those who should love us from being laborers in the field together?
It's almost like the Pharisees who did things for show. Not funny to me.

My sister is 31 and marrying in the temple for the first time soon. I am so glad she waited to find a righteous man, but I am amazed at how many comments people make about her age. That is not what it's all about! Many prominent LDS women have waited and been rewarded.

DN - please stop these articles about the petty, fauning, and pathetic in our culture and people. I am looking for positive humor and uplift and this isn't cutting it!

Ernest T. Bass | 3:42 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

re: @2:33
How exactly do I not "stand by the doctrines of said church"
I would like to know how I fail to live up to those doctrines.

John Pack Lambert | 4:08 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

To Ernest T. Bass,
The fact that every chance you get you make snide, ripping and derogatory remarks about the church, that you constantly make fun of spiritual things, irreverence and disrepsect for other people. You never miss a chance to insult or speak ill of others.
We do not care what happens elsewhere, but on this board you always take the position of a hateful anti-Mormon who shows irreverence and tries to undermine hate.

Dan G. | 4:10 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

I attended my mission reunion without a worry about what everybody thought of me. I didn't care that I wasn't married yet. I didn't even care that I have left the Church. LDS people are the most self-conscious, self-righteous, shallow people I have ever met. I am glad I have moved beyond it.

Lighten up, folks! | 4:11 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

I thought it was funny! Of course, my first mission reunion was 30 years ago. Funny how some of the success stories of years ago are in a downturn now, and some of the old "poor guy/girl" stories are on an uptick. Best to be happy for the happy, and bring happiness to those who aren't.

@ ETBass | 4:12 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

The answer to your question is that you want to force everyone to do everything. You believe in the redistribution of wealth; you believe that government should force citizens to do "charity", you believe government is the answer not its citizens.

I believe that Lucifer lost the argument to force everyone to do good. Christ said that God's way was better and that we could choose to do good; never to be forced.

Just a couple examples of your posts over the months...

Jezza | 4:15 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

What a good laugh!

Annonymous | 4:38 p.m. Sept. 30, 2008

It is too bad that an article like this got published. I have attended 5 mission reunions and nobody cares what you drive or who you are dating. It is a tremendous experience to remember wonderful times and forever friends. Hopefully people do not get a bad impression about mission reunions from this article. That would be a shame. This is the worst piece of news I have ever seen printed in the Deseret News.

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