Deseret News | Reader comments: Litigious world can't fathom compassion

Reader comments
Doug Robinson: Litigious world can't fathom compassion

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Wow!! | 1:16 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

What a kid! What a Mom! What an example!

Jim Butterfield | 2:13 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

I only wish that there were more people like this woman in our country.

Roy Don Juan Droddy, Ph.D. | 2:14 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Mindy and her son Bridger are prime examples of people who our G-d would like to rome the earth, they are living examples of people we read about in the early pages of Torah before corruption became the norm. It may be easy to simply express compassion, but to honestly feel compassion and understanding is a whole other story. The compassion and forgiveness which Bridger and Mindy feel is by far stronger than any physical pain Bridger will feel. While I can not say I understand how they feel, nor what pain young Bridger has and will have for the rest of his life, but I do know in my heart that the feelings of compassion and forgiveness they have for Miller is by far a relief and comfort than any monies or benifits they might gain from feelings or actions of revenge.

EDITORS, I AM PRESENTLY IN A REHAB. CTR. RECOVERING FROM A MASSAGE STROKE AND MY MIND DOES NOT ALWAYS WORK RIGHT, BUT I HOPE I EXPRESSED WHAT I MEANT PROPERLY. FEEL FREE TO EDIT IF YOU DECIDE TO PRINT. THANK YOU.

Comments continue below

Ridgerunner | 2:15 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Too many law schools in America! Too many ambulance chasers! We all pay for their free ride in escalating health costs, and just about everything else! Last winter, on a very cold day, I actually saw an attorney with his hands in his own pockets! Rare sight!

Archie Larsen | 2:45 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

I applaud the example set by this woman and her son. I find it sad others cannot take the same stance and look to do instead of to sue. Clearly, good judgement was not used. However, the example of compassion set forth is one which we could all take a lesson from. Best of luck with all parties ongoing recovery. "In our darkest hour may we find eternal light."

crying in washington | 3:02 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

I cried when I read this article. What an example of Christlike love! Thank you!

They're right | 4:51 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Mother and son are absolutely doing the healthy, wise, useful approach.

They are better off, the other family is better off, and you and I are better off because their understanding and forgiving example.
Nothing but good will come of it, for wise, honest people.

We often see on TV other families who spend the rest of their LIVES making sure that the offender is punished, geting "justice", looking for "closure".
What a waste.

Thank you for the positive example.

Nan B.W. | 5:07 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

This is an amazing story. I hope it receives wider coverage than The Deseret News. Doug Robinson has a eye (or nose? or ear?) for great messages in human interest stories.

Anonymous | 5:28 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Conservatives hate civil attorneys unless they are Fred Thompson.

Doodles | 5:51 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

This is the best story in the News in months. I think every home needs the "compassion rule".

I have taught my children that when they are choosing a spouse that "Kind" is the most important quality. That characteristic will bless their lives every hour.

How can she? | 6:01 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

1 - If Miller is to help pay for what he did to her son, putting him in jail won't help.
2 - It's not up to Mindy Carter-Shaw. Let Bridger decide, in a few years, if HE wants to sue.

rob | 6:03 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Does Bridger have some sort of account set up that we can donate to?

H.L. | 6:22 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

I have alot of respect for Mrs. Shaw and her Son,that they are so forgiving. They are realy a choice People. If it would'nt been an exident I could understand her not wanting to forgive. But he did not do it to hurt somebody,so give the Man a breack. He Also got a Family to take care of and I think he is very remorsefull, because it could have been one of his Children. Keep the Shaw Fam. in your Prayers and leave the rest to Lord.

Thank you | 6:22 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

After reading all of the revenge, headhunting, and negative comments that have been posted regarding this very unfortunate accident I am pleased that the great moral qualities of this family are coming through. My familys prayers have been with Bridger from day one and will continue to be because of his familys compassion and strength in adversity. My children ask about him every couple of days and we will keep them updated. Thank you. God Bless you.

an inspiration | 6:33 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Mindy and Bridger are examples to all of us. Compassion is not only good, not only wise, but it is also smart. It looks not for what is expedient, not for the knee-jerk reaction, but for the reaction that will produce the best long-term effects. Compassion, the benefit of the doubt, love, these create a better world in the short-term, and in the long-term. They are smart. Compassion does not mean giving in, it means doing what is right, the best for everyone involved in the situation. Sometimes making an example is the most compassionate response. In this case, Mindy and Bridger are happier, a man who made a serious mistake and is repentant is given the chance to make some amends, tax dollars are saved, and an inspiring example makes us all better people. The world is a better place.

What are we? | 6:34 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Why does it seem so surprising that Mindy and Bridger would respond with compassion? If you and I would not respond the same way, in like circumstances, then we should begin to follow their examples now. Big doors swing on small hinges. I want to live in their world.

Sue in the UK | 6:45 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

It's good to know there are some sparks of sanity in this insane world! How much happier everyone would be if they followed the example of this fine lady and her son. Compassion and forgiveness, not blame and litigation! What a wonderful lesson. Thank you for sharing it.

Donate | 6:59 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Rob at 6:03 has the right idea. The whole community ought to contribute whatever they can to help this family. They could have taken the easy approach and forced Miller into a court room. They choose high road and that's wonderful. Now, as a community that applauds their attitude, let's back it up with some real help. I will contribute too, if a fund is set up somewhere. Maybe a follow-up story in DN to tell where to give?

Judith in Texas | 7:19 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

I, too, would like to know if there is an address for a fund to which money can be donated for Bridger.

Please - NO donations! | 7:48 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

The family is receiving Medicare.

If they receive donations, that counts as income and will disqualify them. That's why they've been re-donating the gifts they receive. WE (all of us, through Medicare) are supporting the family medically.

If you want to donate, donate directly to the hospital itself.

Medicaid, not Medicare | 7:47 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

But the sentiment is correct: donations to the family will increase their income, and they will no longer qualify for the help they are getting.

Donate to the hospital.

Tdenison | 8:01 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

OMG!!! How amazing!! I work in public service, dealing with crisis after crisis as well as stupidity after stupidity each and every hour I'm at work. My own life has been a series of deaths, suicides and personal heartache as well. I have turned the other cheek many times and have felt the sting of other peoples opinions to the contrary. Sometimes I get cynical and weary and fear for the upcoming generations. This story has reaffirmed my hope that somewhere out there good and decent and honest people exist. Maybe there is hope. God bless you!

Annie | 8:08 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

I was always taught that if you break something you offer to pay for it. Litigation is out of control - however, we the taxpayers pick up the bill somewhere along the line.

Incorrect | 8:51 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

It wasn't a pipe bomb. Stating that it was a bomb incorrectly construes that Mr. Miller meant to damage something/someone. It was a firework that was in an open-ended metal tube. Call it what it was or you will continue to fuel the zealots calling for Mr. Miller's head; that will cause people to overlook the goodness that is in Bridger and his family.

RE: Annie | 8:52 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

isn't this a worthy cause of our tax dollars? i would rather my tax dollars be spent on a local family in need then weapons or wars or anything else for that matter. we may all have to pay for it, but isn't that a part we would all like to play?

Good job | 9:18 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

In truth, if the mother did sue and won millions the money would all go to medicaid, she and her son would NOT get a dime of it anyway. Therefore, she is chosing to set an example to others about forgiveness. That is the better choice.

Anonymous | 9:41 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Just think... if there were a world full of people just like this woman...there would be no more war; the world would be at peace. We need more foregiveness in this world instead of hate. When all around you have wanting revenge~forgive.

Phoebe | 9:51 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Mindy sounds like a lovely person, but Doug Robinson's logic is shaky. The reason most personal-injury plaintiffs file lawsuits is because they've incurred massive medical bills due to someone else's negligence. If Mindy and Bridger are on Medicaid and aren't worried about paying off their medical bills, perhaps they're willing to skip the lawsuit, but not everybody can afford to be so "compassionate." As anyone who's ever been involved in litigation knows, it's a major hassle for both sides, and most people won't get involved in a lawsuit unless it's the only option.

No more lawyers | 10:06 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

If only all victims and those who harm the victims had the same attitude, responsibility and compassion the people in this case have. The man who foolishly set off the pipe bomb didn't mean to hurt Bridger. He has pledged to do everything he can to make up for it. Bridger, through his pain and suffering, wants only to heal and not cause any further harm to the man who caused his injury. His Mother won't prosecute, she has forgiveness and compassion. Meanwhile many lawyers are circling around, hoping to make a lot of money off other people's misfortune. Shameless, evil souls that they are. Not this time, Buzzards.

And a pipe (metal tube) filled with gunpowder that explodes IS a pipe bomb, not a firework. Such things are not legal to make or set off, and it shows an extreme lack of intelligence to do so.

Dave | 10:18 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

To Phoebe, just above: You seem to be defending our far-too-litigious society and you're on very shaky ground with your claims.

We've all seen so many examples of frivolous lawsuits and ambulance-chasing attorneys, it's difficult to keep a straight face as you tell us that lawsuits are only filed due to someone elses negligence and that they're a last resort.

I suspect your inevitable response to that would be that those are the few bad apples, they're extreme examples, etc. But the sad truth is that they're not. There's far too much of that sort of abuse of our legal system too accept the idea that those are mere anomalies.

In the long run, we all pay for such abuse.

Ms. Shaw should be applauded for the fact that she chose not to contribute to the problem. It would have been simple for her to do so. Any ambulance chaser would have handled the whole thing for the inevitable percentage of the mammoth verdict.

Raymond Takashi Swenson | 10:26 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

It is wonderful that the victim of the defendant's recklessness and his moter are able to forgive his action. However, the rest of us in society also have an interest in deterring stupidity, so there are not more victims like this. Any person of normal intelligence knows that gunpowder explodes, and that such explosions have deadly force. Perhaps this particular defendant has enough conscience to sincerely regret the effects of his carelessness, but it would have been much more helpful to his victim and to his neighbors if he had exercised that compassion BEFORE exploding a bomb. It would be one thing if he were using a hazardous item in order to pursue a social good, but causing an explosion for mere entertainment purposes, without even the precaution of taking it to an empty field away from other people, is a threat to the lives of other children. He needs to be fined, the money to be paid over to a trust fund for the victim, and placed on probation and convicted as a felon.

MattMO | 10:27 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Awesome example of Christlike love. I see this and glory in God for people like Mindy and Bridger. I work in a prison and see soooo many men and women that could be productive citizens in society, but because of a dumb mistake or a few mistakes they are locked up for a long long time doing them, their family, the victims family, or society no good. Now don't take me wrong I believe that there are men and women in prison that they should never be released, but there are way to many in that would be better off out being productive. Miller is not a criminal just one who lacked good judgment at the time. We all do that and I personally am grateful that I didn't hurt someone when I fell asleep at the wheel or went over the middle line on the road. We sometimes get too anxious to jail people for every little thing.

Miss Jen | 10:32 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

These are fabulous people that know what real life is about. I've spent quite a bit of time at Primary Children's with my own daughter and the fear, worry, loneliness and waiting can eat you alive. I can't imagine adding resentment and revenge to that list. They are taking the high road for their own good and the good of this poor man that made a mistake. Good for them and God bless.

Not a pipe bomb | 10:46 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

First of all, it's a joy to see somebody actually show what it's like to be Christian, rather than just proclaim it.

Second, Doug is wrong when he calls it a pipe bomb. I thought we had been over this and police don't call it a pipe bomb. This was a firework in a pipe, with an open end. It went horribly wrong of course, but a pipe bomb is meant to be a bomb and does not have the open end. There's a big difference.

To Raymond and Phoebe | 10:49 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

It's imperative to look carefully at each individual case. Do you really think Mr. Miller will ever set off another firework (legal or illegal)? Suing him and sending him to jail will not "deter stupidity," as you so eloquently put it. He has stated deep remorse and regret that he ever did it, he wishes that he had been harmed instead, and he has vowed to give all he can to help with bills. Do your homework about Medicaid while you're at it; some of the above posts are absolutely correct about donations and where the money is allowed to go without causing problems for the family. A trust fund, however, is a great idea, but I believe garnishing his wages and preventing him and his family from surviving is not. Chances are that he will be convicted, and I hope that he is granted probation. I especially hope that everyone involved will be able to ultimately find long-lasting peace.

Phoebe, you work in the legal profession, don't you?

For those of you with anger management or greed issues, this is incomprehensible. To me, it's a miracle.

Lawyers | 11:03 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Not to take anything away from Mindy, as her example is beyond reproach, but there are lots of anti-lawyer sentiments on these messages. I'm not an attorney, but I am good friends with several litigation attorneys who are very good people. I have seen them first hand help people fight against insurance companies that had no intention of covering expenses people pay them premiums to cover. Insurance companies would run rampant in their abuse of claims payments without attorneys. That said, those that are calling and offering their services to Mindy are clearly pretty classless. Nothing wrong with making money, I understand that, but that's over the line.

Anonymous | 11:13 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Thank you Mindy! I am a mother and I'm afraid that I have not put very much time or energy into teaching my children compassion. After reading this story I am determined to teach them and even better - show them - compassion.

You are so good. I pray that the Lord will give you the strength to continue on your chosen path.

Like MattMO | 11:21 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

I am grateful that I didn't hurt someone when I dozed at the wheel and crossed the center line. This has happened more than once in my life even though I consider myself a very careful driver. Most of us, in a moment of fatigue or of carelessness, could find ourselves in circumstances similar to those of Mr. Miller.
I think those who want to condemn Mr. Miller would feel quite differently if they were standing in his shoes. His bad judgement was no greater perhaps than my bad judgement - but I was lucky - no one was hurt due to my error in judgement.
I salute Mindy and Bridger because they have chosen the "high" road that will bring them self respect and peace of mind throughout their lives. And they have set a great example for the rest of us, perhaps as a reminder - that money can't buy happiness, and the love of money is the root of most of the evil and unhappiness in this world.

observer | 11:23 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Those who want to argue over whether the device was a "pipe bomb" or not miss the whole point of the article. It was in a pipe and it blew up. Call it what you want.

These folks are a lovely example to everyone. That's the point of the article.

Jaces | 11:46 a.m. Sept. 2, 2008

First time I have posted here. Additionally, I am an attorney. The most amazing story of the year, hands down.

Mark | 12:38 p.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Sounds to me that the taxpayers are paying for both the damages and for this family's "compassion" through medicare. When will Mr. Miller pay the taxpayers back? What about the debt he owes to society for his thoughtless actions? The family can forgive him from their end, but he now owes a debt to society.

We'll see if he pays that debt as well.

Cool Story! | 12:50 p.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Great story, great people, great example!
This is the story behind the news.

David | 12:55 p.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Doug: Why do you article writers always resort to the lowest common denominator when writing stories: get people made at lawyers, not at the people who actually screwed up. The bottom line is that she isn't going to sue because there would be no point. The culprit is judgment proof. She would go through all the pain and suffering of litigation for nothing. If Bill Gates or a Huntsman was the one who blew up her son, you can bet she would ask them to pay for what they did. Doug, good job of trying to write a story that would get people riled up by attacking lawyers, but what you did is transparent. Of course, it appears to have worked judging by the comments by others. Again, good job.

Rich | 12:59 p.m. Sept. 2, 2008

I've never sued anybody though I was unable to persuade my wife from filing a small claims suit against a landscaper who took $2,500 from us and gave us nothing in return. The result? Even though the guy lied in court, the judge saw through it, and she won her suit, and the landscaper then declared bankruptcy. I think there was a chance of getting the guy to do the work we paid for if my wife had not sued him.

As for making an example out of Miller or educating the public about the dangers of pipe bombs (or illegal fireworks), a law suit wouldn't accomplish anything along those lines. I believe Miller should be convicted of using illegal fireworks, but I think it's ridiculous that the prosecutor filed child abuse charges in order to make a public example out of him. Hey, prosecutor, we already know we shouldn't use illegal fireworks. Prosecuting the guy and putting him in prison for 50 years wouldn't help him, won't help the public and won't help Bridger. Letting the guy make a good living could help Bridger.

Anonymous | 1:06 p.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Bridger is an amazing person. I know his life will never be the same. She does not need to sue, but Mrs. Shaw would be wise to get commitments for support in a written contract with the perpetrator. I would not sue either. Sometimes bad things happen to good people.

American citizen | 1:26 p.m. Sept. 2, 2008

To Mark I'm part of society and Miller owes me nothing. No matter how much you pay in taxes or where it goes you never get it back. I'd rather see it go to help in these kind of situations than to give it to the politicians in charge of our dollars a raise.

CITIZEN | 1:32 p.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Does anyone remember the amish tragedy about a year or so ago that happened in PA??The same outright compassion,forgiveness and fellowship was exibited there.But in their case it was mass-murder.but my argument is plain and simple;we need more compassion.isn't that what the savior preaches in the bible?? BETTER PREPARE YOURSELF AND FAMILY FOR WINTER,JUST AROUND THE CORNER!!!!

Donations | 1:35 p.m. Sept. 2, 2008

If you would like to donate go to any Zions or Central Bank and donate in the name of Bridger Nathaniel Hunt.
Yes, Medicaid is covering hospital expenses, but there will be years of expenses Medicaid can't cover: ongoing surgeries, wheelchairs, therapy, etc. etc. etc. The accounts are handled by Bridger's grandpa and will not show as income for the family so they won't be disqualified from Medicaid.
You can also check out www.bridgerhunt.com within a week to see other opportunities to aid in Bridger's recovery.
As Mindy's cousin, I can't tell you just how much all the prayers and positive words mean to our family. We've been keeping a book for Bridge with positive comments made on forums and blogs. We gave it to him on his birthday and he just cried and cried because he was so touched that so many people care about him. This has also helped Mindy tremendously, thank you again!

Anonymous | 1:50 p.m. Sept. 2, 2008

Thank you for a beautiful story, beautifully told. I a world full of so much hatred and violence, Mindy is a wonderful example of being a disciple of Christ and doing as He has taught us. We pray for Bridger and for ALL involved in this tragic accident.

Thank you, Mindy, for your glorious spirit and example. You make me want to be a better person.

SLC gal | 1:56 p.m. Sept. 2, 2008

This mom has chosen forgivness is situations where others would choose anger, revenge, or suing.

And Bridger gave his birthday money to help another? He's has to be in extreme amounts of pain, but his focus is not on himself.

These are amazing people. This mom has obviously done an excellent job of teaching her children, and Bridger is going to grow up a very compassionate caring person becuase of her example!!!!!

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