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LDS leader's '07 address still causing controversy
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Allison | 9:15 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
Because of all this stupid hype I went back and read her talk on the internet.
No where in her talk does it say that a women's only job is to have and
raise children and she's worthless without children. It says lds women
should DESIRE to have children and our primary ROLE is to raise and nurture
them. Notice the key word: ROLE, not job. No where does it say that you HAVE to
stay home all day and cook and clean and do laundry. She says we should be the
best homemakers...and however you accomlpish that is up to you. She
doesn't say: you have to be a homemaker by doing this and this. We have
our free agency to be the best we can. My best is different from everyone
else's because we are all unique and the church and most importantly, the
Lord recognizes that. If women and men are finding offence, then you are
reading WAY too much into her talk. We are only required to be the best that we
can be. NOthing more. If you feel you are doing your best as a mother/wife/lds
women in the church, then you probably are.
Mental health | 9:15 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
I want to add my thoughts on the idea that Sister Beck's message (and
others like it) are detrimental to women's mental health.
First, I believe we can balance assessment and change. I have experienced the exhilarating feeling of understanding what is maintaining confusing personal problems. Sometimes a "diagnosis" makes so much sense! At the same time, I have found that clinging to an explanation for my problems has been a major obstacle to considering suggestions for how I might (*need to*) improve my behavior. Sister Beck�s talk focused, as do many messages given by LDS Church leaders, on possibilities and priorities�issues that demand serious, honest appraisal and action. Some talks focus more on change than others�for example, take Chapter 5 of Alma in the Book of Mormon. And I think they have value.
Second, some of us may have difficulty integrating progress feedback in a productive way. There is just no perfect way to deliver these messages. We can�t prevent the worrying, or the thinking that change has to be somehow more taxing than perhaps it does. Some emotional support may be needed. That�s okay. These are growing pains, and well worth the price of being taught moral values.
First, I believe we can balance assessment and change. I have experienced the exhilarating feeling of understanding what is maintaining confusing personal problems. Sometimes a "diagnosis" makes so much sense! At the same time, I have found that clinging to an explanation for my problems has been a major obstacle to considering suggestions for how I might (*need to*) improve my behavior. Sister Beck�s talk focused, as do many messages given by LDS Church leaders, on possibilities and priorities�issues that demand serious, honest appraisal and action. Some talks focus more on change than others�for example, take Chapter 5 of Alma in the Book of Mormon. And I think they have value.
Second, some of us may have difficulty integrating progress feedback in a productive way. There is just no perfect way to deliver these messages. We can�t prevent the worrying, or the thinking that change has to be somehow more taxing than perhaps it does. Some emotional support may be needed. That�s okay. These are growing pains, and well worth the price of being taught moral values.
Comments continue below
Allison in CT | 9:18 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
If you are offended by her talk, then you need to change something in your life.
And its most likely your attitude.
Not offended | 9:18 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
Julie's talk was spot-on. Motherhood, as a "career" is not the
same as secular careers. If you undertake motherhood (either on purpose or by
accident) you need to rise to the occasion and do your best so your family can
be its best. The ramifications of doing motherhood right or wrong can affect
generations, literally.
People who get easily offended at this notion need to look beyond themselves and see the bigger picture. I've got a degree, have marketable skills, but I CHOSE motherhood. That doesn't mean I won't use those skills again; it just means my priorities have changed, and I'm not less of a person for it. If motherhood isn't in your cards, then the talk doesn't apply to you and the energy spent being offended by it is wasted.
And speaking of wasting time, I hope Julie Beck hasn't wasted a second of her time worrying about all the thin-skinned criticisms. It seems some of society can't work fast enough to dilute motherhood until it becomes just a watery, imitative form of day care. Julie emphasized its true importance, and that kind of honesty and honor toward the work of motherhood is in short supply.
People who get easily offended at this notion need to look beyond themselves and see the bigger picture. I've got a degree, have marketable skills, but I CHOSE motherhood. That doesn't mean I won't use those skills again; it just means my priorities have changed, and I'm not less of a person for it. If motherhood isn't in your cards, then the talk doesn't apply to you and the energy spent being offended by it is wasted.
And speaking of wasting time, I hope Julie Beck hasn't wasted a second of her time worrying about all the thin-skinned criticisms. It seems some of society can't work fast enough to dilute motherhood until it becomes just a watery, imitative form of day care. Julie emphasized its true importance, and that kind of honesty and honor toward the work of motherhood is in short supply.
Anna McIntire | 9:23 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
The first time I heard Sister Beck's talk I was so thrilled to hear the
straight talk to women. It was in NO WAY offensive, but directed to the sisters
who are MOTHER'S. I found her talk so encouraging, even though my children
are all grown and married. We are women who hold a standard and are supposed to
be equal with the brethren. And we ARE. But there are women who feel less than,
and beat themselves up over it. It tells more from the comments about the
writer's who complain than it does about the content of Sister Beck's
original talk. To quote another reader, and a priesthood holder, THANK YOU. I
agree:
"True success is measured by the fruits you bear in society whether those fruits be spiritual, children, humanitarian, foster care, etc... Loving our neighbor, that's what counts."
I remember when I was first a single mother, Pres. Benson gave a talk especially to the Sisters, I was a working mom, but his consideration and words of support were needed. My children turned out, yet I had six children still at home. I was blessed.
"True success is measured by the fruits you bear in society whether those fruits be spiritual, children, humanitarian, foster care, etc... Loving our neighbor, that's what counts."
I remember when I was first a single mother, Pres. Benson gave a talk especially to the Sisters, I was a working mom, but his consideration and words of support were needed. My children turned out, yet I had six children still at home. I was blessed.
Thank you | 9:34 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
for the reminder that some of us aren't welcome in the LDS church. It
makes me sad to see the LDS principles I was raised with are often not present
in this online forum or in the attitudes, words, and actions of the members. I
appreciate those who voice their opinion and support without name calling or
telling those who might disagree to get over it or leave. I have always been
quiet about those things I wasn't sure about or disagreed with, because I
didn't want to make others uncomfortable or to think I was a bad person
because I thought differently about some things. I have felt on the outside for
a long, long time, but not any more. Thank you for showing me the door.
LDSreader | 9:35 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
Given there are over 3,000,000 women in the LDS Relief Society, and over
6,500,000 girls and women in the LDS Church, why is it that Deseret News chooses
to give "500 women" composed of misfits and apostates such a large
podium upon which to spew their hatred towards LDS women and culture? Why is it
your report allows their propaganda to go unchecked that these hate filled women
represent many, or even a plurality of LDS women?
Pardon me, but let me do the math: 500 women out of 3,000,000 is 0.016% of LDS women. One-tenth of 100th percent is a "large firestorm"? "Big trouble"?
Pardon me, but let me do the math: 500 women out of 3,000,000 is 0.016% of LDS women. One-tenth of 100th percent is a "large firestorm"? "Big trouble"?
Dubya | 9:35 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
God bless you Sister Beck! You are a hero. On par with Esther, Ruth, Hannah, and
others. Thanks for not backing down in the face of criticism from the guilty
wicked.
bigjn | 9:37 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
500 women sign a petition and D-news and the few attending Sunstone think this
is a firestorm in a church with 13+ million members.
Debra Odekirk | 9:39 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
If Jesus Christ were at the pulpit in the Conference Center on October 2007, He
would have said the same words Sister Beck said. It takes the Spirit,the Holy
Ghost, to know,see and hear things that are give by the Spirit.
A Proud Mother in AZ | 9:41 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
I am a Mother of four children. They are grown now and I am proud to say I was
in the home with them every step of the way. For a time I had to work to help
out, but I made sure the kids came first. That sometimes meant working the night
shift at a hosptial. Life can be tough, but the most important thing you can do
as a mother is raise a righteous and responsible generation to the LORD!!!
Jess | 9:53 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
Sister Marie Hafen, in a talk to the students at Ricks College, told the women
that "before you become someone's wife or mother, be someone."
The message is clear. Sister Hafen is a talented, educated woman and could be
successful in any field she chose, but when her children came along she realized
that motherhood was her most important role and she used her training and talent
and abilities in raising good children. When my children got married I
counseled them: "When the children come along, Mama stays home." Even
though my daughters and daughter-in-law all have degrees, they've followed
that counsel and are raising good children themselves. Though it's
difficult and trying, they see that their children need them so they ignore the
sophisticated mockers who delight in belittling their sacrifice. There are
eternal and earthly rewards for their consecrated efforts.
Debra Odekirk | 9:55 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
To Women Leaders:
I heard a talk on chasity by President Hinckley several years ago. He was right on with the consequences. From one who was chaste to one who was not and repented, he knew.
Our Savior never experienced divorce but he knew the hilt of rejection and depression.
These are prophets of the living God our Heavenly Father and He knows all and reveals His will to us through them.
Those living in Taiwan and South America or where ever who have the Holy Ghost, they know what the Prophets are saying. "My sheep hear my voice"
Whether by His voice or by the voice of his servants, it is he same.
I heard a talk on chasity by President Hinckley several years ago. He was right on with the consequences. From one who was chaste to one who was not and repented, he knew.
Our Savior never experienced divorce but he knew the hilt of rejection and depression.
These are prophets of the living God our Heavenly Father and He knows all and reveals His will to us through them.
Those living in Taiwan and South America or where ever who have the Holy Ghost, they know what the Prophets are saying. "My sheep hear my voice"
Whether by His voice or by the voice of his servants, it is he same.
INDIANA | 10:01 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
I sustain the Lord's prophet who, under the direction of the Saviour called
a woman to be the leader of the world wide Relief Society.
No reasonable individual would even remotely think that anyone would get up to give a talk to millions of women worldwide without first asking in sincere prayer what the Lord would like to have said to those women.
Chill women and get a clue. Wife and motherhood first then the other things after. When we die and stand before the bar of Christ at judgement, he is NOT going to ask about our bank accounts or schooling or much else. He is probably going to first ask us about our treatment of our spouse and our childrens. The first questions will be about families and relationships. Prepare for that, not some educational quiz. Oh, He may ask how you feel about your treatment of called and sustained Church leaders, especially if YOU sustained them...
No reasonable individual would even remotely think that anyone would get up to give a talk to millions of women worldwide without first asking in sincere prayer what the Lord would like to have said to those women.
Chill women and get a clue. Wife and motherhood first then the other things after. When we die and stand before the bar of Christ at judgement, he is NOT going to ask about our bank accounts or schooling or much else. He is probably going to first ask us about our treatment of our spouse and our childrens. The first questions will be about families and relationships. Prepare for that, not some educational quiz. Oh, He may ask how you feel about your treatment of called and sustained Church leaders, especially if YOU sustained them...
Anonymous | 10:10 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
Quit whining. It was a great talk and those who are offended by it need to think
again.
SS | 10:20 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
Didn't hear the talk, but didn't Brigham Young tell women of the time
to become educated, and become doctors, etc. Motherhood and fatherhood,
assuming you have those jobs, are more important than the day job, obviously,
but I don't see why women should not have other things on their plate.
Sometimes kids are 24/7, but then they hit the point where they are not, and mom
has some extra time. What is she supposed to do, sit idly by and wait for kids
and dad to come home?
Don't want to ignore the LDS cultural attitudes either. We were getting it when we had only one child, not by choice but people assume we put "the world" ahead of children. It was asinine, and very hurtful to my wife. After we adopted children, boy how attitudes changed. There are those who need to quit assuming that because you are childless or have few children you are living wrong. Who are you to say what God's plan is for someone else?
Don't want to ignore the LDS cultural attitudes either. We were getting it when we had only one child, not by choice but people assume we put "the world" ahead of children. It was asinine, and very hurtful to my wife. After we adopted children, boy how attitudes changed. There are those who need to quit assuming that because you are childless or have few children you are living wrong. Who are you to say what God's plan is for someone else?
Mother who knows | 10:26 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
I just re-read the talk. What's all the fuss about? Some people just like
to look for trouble. You find them in every organization, including the church.
They all need to get a life.
It was a wonderful, inspiring message and there is nothing in it to complain about. Basically it said, be a serious mother and a good homemaker. Wow, that's really offensive!
It was a wonderful, inspiring message and there is nothing in it to complain about. Basically it said, be a serious mother and a good homemaker. Wow, that's really offensive!
Debra Odekirk | 10:46 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
To Robert 4:30 p.m.
Your sister is measuring herself by her own measuring rod. She is comparing herself to others.
The common ploy of the adversary is overdoing the gospel or underdoing it, never a happy medium. Jesus taught, 'moderation' in all things.
The General Authorities talk of balance in our lives and other councels as we work "toward" perfection.
We sometimes only listen to part of what they say.
Your sister just needs to do the "best she can" and know the Lord loves her.
I know. I've been there. I do the best I can and ask the Lord if I am where "I am" supposed to be following his plan for me.
She will be a lot happier if she will councel with her Bishop and get help from the LDS social services. It really is the plan of happiness. We make it so much harder than it is only because we simply don't ask the Lord to "help me find the way" and "teach me all that "I" must do" to live with him some day.
Your sister is measuring herself by her own measuring rod. She is comparing herself to others.
The common ploy of the adversary is overdoing the gospel or underdoing it, never a happy medium. Jesus taught, 'moderation' in all things.
The General Authorities talk of balance in our lives and other councels as we work "toward" perfection.
We sometimes only listen to part of what they say.
Your sister just needs to do the "best she can" and know the Lord loves her.
I know. I've been there. I do the best I can and ask the Lord if I am where "I am" supposed to be following his plan for me.
She will be a lot happier if she will councel with her Bishop and get help from the LDS social services. It really is the plan of happiness. We make it so much harder than it is only because we simply don't ask the Lord to "help me find the way" and "teach me all that "I" must do" to live with him some day.
Eric | 10:55 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
10% - 10% - 80%
Ten percent of the people judge others (..."she has too few children", "too many", "is single because...", etc.).
Ten percent get offended and judge not only the ten percent as being judgmental but the remaining eighty percent.
Okay, so I do not not have a scientific study to back up my numbers, but the point is: stop judging, stop being offended and, if you are going to judge people as being judgmental, leave the eighty percent out of it.
FYI - a symposium brings the eighty percent into this "controversy". If you are judged unfairly, bring it up individually with the person doing the judging.
No unfair judgment delivered by Sister Beck, only love and doctrine.
Ten percent of the people judge others (..."she has too few children", "too many", "is single because...", etc.).
Ten percent get offended and judge not only the ten percent as being judgmental but the remaining eighty percent.
Okay, so I do not not have a scientific study to back up my numbers, but the point is: stop judging, stop being offended and, if you are going to judge people as being judgmental, leave the eighty percent out of it.
FYI - a symposium brings the eighty percent into this "controversy". If you are judged unfairly, bring it up individually with the person doing the judging.
No unfair judgment delivered by Sister Beck, only love and doctrine.
okieobserver | 10:58 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
Instead of 'whatwomenknow', the site should be
'mainlyutahwomenwholiketowhine'...and please, skip the quotes of
Margaret Toscano, the biggest whiner of all. Good grief.
Jo-Anne | 10:58 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
Sister Beck you have my love and support.
Waah | 11:01 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
500 people offended, millions in agreement. Who cares what this handful of
crybabies says? The talk was awesome and obviously pricked some consciences.
AC | 11:02 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
In response to Emily Benton�s comment that
�My success isn�t a
grandchild�, I�m an LDS father of two
and I feel that I have two roles that are paramount to any others and are all
parallel those of any female in the church. These roles include being a parent
and being a spouse. It doesn�t matter to me what I
accomplish outside of these roles, if I�m not successful in
these 2 first. My success is my family, my kids, and my grandchildren and
I�d hope that my wife feels the same!
to "Do you know Julie..." | 11:02 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
I believe you totally misunderstood what I wrote. I am extremely concerned for
my sister and those like her who can't give themselves credit for all they
are doing a great job at in raising their families for the expectations they
feel they aren't meeting.
I apologize for anything I may have written that tweaked you to feel sad other than I hope LDS women can move away from beating themselves up for not meeting the myriad goals they are given to strive for.
I apologize for anything I may have written that tweaked you to feel sad other than I hope LDS women can move away from beating themselves up for not meeting the myriad goals they are given to strive for.
samhill | 11:10 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
It is interesting to witness all the talk about "women this" or
"men that" with simultaneous criticism of Sis. Beck and/or the LDS
church and its doctrines regarding different sex roles as being
"depersonalizing".
What laughable hypocrisy.
How's bout simply accepting that each person, male or female, can choose their lives for themselves. They don't intrinsically, by virtue of their sex, owe allegiance to the sexist orthodoxies of feminists, or religious doctrines, or political parties, or anyone/thing else but themselves.
Thus, if they choose to listen to and follow the advice of Sis. Beck, or Gloria Steinam, or even the presumptuously pejorative prejudices of some self-righteous stranger who declares them to be unknowing slaves, they can rest assured that they are being true to themselves. Self-assured authenticity is the only true source of self esteem and fulfillment.
Do what YOU think is right. Do that long enough, especially when you find out you’re wrong, and eventually you will be right.
What laughable hypocrisy.
How's bout simply accepting that each person, male or female, can choose their lives for themselves. They don't intrinsically, by virtue of their sex, owe allegiance to the sexist orthodoxies of feminists, or religious doctrines, or political parties, or anyone/thing else but themselves.
Thus, if they choose to listen to and follow the advice of Sis. Beck, or Gloria Steinam, or even the presumptuously pejorative prejudices of some self-righteous stranger who declares them to be unknowing slaves, they can rest assured that they are being true to themselves. Self-assured authenticity is the only true source of self esteem and fulfillment.
Do what YOU think is right. Do that long enough, especially when you find out you’re wrong, and eventually you will be right.
veedub | 11:11 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
I wonder if anyone here remembers when Pres Benson gave a talk with a similar
theme. It was even made into a pamphlet. The uproar then was similar to the one
following Sister Beck's talk. At the time I thought it was a reaction to a
man (although sustained as a prophet) telling women how to live, but I guess it
goes deeper than that. I'm sure Sis Beck was disheartened by the personal
criticism she received when she was simply trying to lift up those mothers who
are sacrificing much to stay with their children. I'm sad for her, but I
have no doubt she knows what she said was the truth. Prophets' words are
often rejected, sadly by those who profess to sustain them. (And yes, she is a
prophet(ess) in the same sense that anyone can be who receives revelation in
regards to her calling.)
SJ Bobkins | 11:19 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
Ms Beck is making a name for herself as a loose cannon. Many men who heard her
conference talk which made it clear that a white shirt is a necessary part of a
"proper" male dress for church services, can't stand to wear one.
Her clear statement that Mormon wife or mother needs to insure every male wear
such white shirt or she is somehow inadequate in her capacity, is NUTS, I will
never wear a white shirt to the block again until this "tradition" is
labeled as such.
I suggest Ms Beck stick to women's issues and attempt to show more understanding and less labeling. At this rate she is well on her way to becoming the RS-nazi.
I suggest Ms Beck stick to women's issues and attempt to show more understanding and less labeling. At this rate she is well on her way to becoming the RS-nazi.
Anonymous mom | 11:23 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
to I sustain 4:16 PM Aug 8:
Sorry to disappoint, but, no, no, NO; no one scans the Conference addresses for preapproval unless a speaker (particularly a foreigner) requests it, for catching grammatical or doctrinal errors, or for translation purposes. In fact, I have seen talks set aside and replaced, impromptu. Amazing, isn't it! General Authorities know the doctrine, and so does most of the membership, which is where General Authorities are drawn from. That's why uproars such as the one over Sister Beck's talk do so little harm. She was speaking to women who "know." Any others would do well to try to understand what she was talking about.
Sorry to disappoint, but, no, no, NO; no one scans the Conference addresses for preapproval unless a speaker (particularly a foreigner) requests it, for catching grammatical or doctrinal errors, or for translation purposes. In fact, I have seen talks set aside and replaced, impromptu. Amazing, isn't it! General Authorities know the doctrine, and so does most of the membership, which is where General Authorities are drawn from. That's why uproars such as the one over Sister Beck's talk do so little harm. She was speaking to women who "know." Any others would do well to try to understand what she was talking about.
two year olds | 11:29 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
I've worked with women in the Church whose knee jerk reaction to just about
anything is negative. They don't express an opposing opinion after giving
it some thought. It's just no to everything. They remind me of two year
olds. It's as though nothing is valid unless they thought of it first.
Thankfully the vast majority of women are not like this. They will express a
valid opinion after thinking about it. I suspect many of those who are offended
by this talk are those type of women. They see negative in everything and waste
no time letting everyone else know how they feel. When I heard this talk I knew
there would be fallout. Too bad, it was a wonderful talk and the message was
very important.
Mother of an anti-Mormon | 11:33 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
It was very hard to have my daughter leave the church. She has only one child,
that is all she can handle. She has stayed at home and focused on her daughters
needs. But for this young mother, who stayed at home and worked some on
education and has put off getting a career that would be of intellectual
gratification, she has it right.
She finds it foolish that women will have a career and then have children, at the time when a couple should be enjoying being grandparents, they are raising babies. My grand daughter will start pre-school this year, my daughter is looking forward to working.
My daughter may not "believe" in the church, but she choose to stay at home, they had one car, no neighbor kids around, they didn't eat out or buy things, and because of that, mom could be at home.
On the other hand, my step-daughter works full time, has two under the age of three and her husband is not working, he took one class this summer and will take 12 easy credits, they are in the church, wait, the church is supporting them. She should be at home, not him!!!
She finds it foolish that women will have a career and then have children, at the time when a couple should be enjoying being grandparents, they are raising babies. My grand daughter will start pre-school this year, my daughter is looking forward to working.
My daughter may not "believe" in the church, but she choose to stay at home, they had one car, no neighbor kids around, they didn't eat out or buy things, and because of that, mom could be at home.
On the other hand, my step-daughter works full time, has two under the age of three and her husband is not working, he took one class this summer and will take 12 easy credits, they are in the church, wait, the church is supporting them. She should be at home, not him!!!
Robert | 11:35 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
To ... Do you know Julie? Yes or no!
I don't understand your post - have you got me mixed up with someone else's comments? I don't know Julie; however, based on what she says, I have the utmost respect for her; she seems to be the epitome of a great mother. I don't understand your "lack of compassion" comment? I don't think she is looking for compassion (or needs such) because none is necessary. I don't see any "anguish" in her comments, just good advice to all mothers. I often hear "Prozac" comments about Mormon women due to having many kids; as the son of a mother who had 10 children, I find these comments very insulting to all women - Mormon or not.
I've heard several talks from President Hinckley over the years regarding a man's obligation, responsibilities, and duty to his wife and children (and for Mormons, his church); everything he says (like Julie) is absolutely correct. I'll have to look up the talk you mention; however, this talk (Julie's) is one I'll never forget because it is perhaps the best I've ever heard about motherhood - I keep it here on my laptop.
I don't understand your post - have you got me mixed up with someone else's comments? I don't know Julie; however, based on what she says, I have the utmost respect for her; she seems to be the epitome of a great mother. I don't understand your "lack of compassion" comment? I don't think she is looking for compassion (or needs such) because none is necessary. I don't see any "anguish" in her comments, just good advice to all mothers. I often hear "Prozac" comments about Mormon women due to having many kids; as the son of a mother who had 10 children, I find these comments very insulting to all women - Mormon or not.
I've heard several talks from President Hinckley over the years regarding a man's obligation, responsibilities, and duty to his wife and children (and for Mormons, his church); everything he says (like Julie) is absolutely correct. I'll have to look up the talk you mention; however, this talk (Julie's) is one I'll never forget because it is perhaps the best I've ever heard about motherhood - I keep it here on my laptop.
Anon | 11:50 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
I'm one of the women who many of those complainers think is a non-thinking
moron, dumb, unintelligent, slave mom. Thanks a lot. That's a pretty mean
judgment. Actually, as a stay-at-home mom, I've been free to read a lot
more books than I ever had opportunity to read while I was in college. And
working with my kids is a whole lot more challenging and rewarding than my
career was as a single woman, or my worldwide travels. And serving an LDS
mission, and learning a foreign language before I met my husband, while
immensely satisfying, can't compare to motherhood and being a wife.
I've seen both sides. And it's motherhood that has opened my eyes to
the essential elements of happiness and fulfillment. I found nothing to
criticize in Julie Beck's talk. She was right on.
Sister Beck | 11:54 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
Thank you for your talk and testimony.
18 year old mother | 11:54 p.m. Aug. 8, 2008
I converted to the LDS church as a teenager. My first baby was born when I was
18, my last at 44. I loved being a mother!
How did I stimulate my children intellectually? I could read and I wasn't lazy! I studied. I took them to plays, art galleries, zoos, meetings, concerts--even opera. They went on magazine interviews. I homeschooled five of them.
I also sewed, canned, quilted, upholstered, studied antiques and decorative arts, bred and trained prize horses, and remodeled and restored houses. All this was learned AFTER I married. For 9 years, I was in charge of building Habitat for Humanity houses. I did fund raising, publicity, recruited volunteers, and started what became a thriving thrift store. I published magazine articles and co-wrote two LDS novels.
There was time to help one son overcome dyslexia. My Downs son has read the Book of Mormon and is a service missionary. 3 children have Bachelor's degrees, 3 have Master's degrees, and another was valedictorian of his law school.
My daughter, daughters in law, and I appreciated Sister Beck's talk! We've "worked" outside the home. Our most important "work" is in our homes!
Sunstone--stop invalidating us!
How did I stimulate my children intellectually? I could read and I wasn't lazy! I studied. I took them to plays, art galleries, zoos, meetings, concerts--even opera. They went on magazine interviews. I homeschooled five of them.
I also sewed, canned, quilted, upholstered, studied antiques and decorative arts, bred and trained prize horses, and remodeled and restored houses. All this was learned AFTER I married. For 9 years, I was in charge of building Habitat for Humanity houses. I did fund raising, publicity, recruited volunteers, and started what became a thriving thrift store. I published magazine articles and co-wrote two LDS novels.
There was time to help one son overcome dyslexia. My Downs son has read the Book of Mormon and is a service missionary. 3 children have Bachelor's degrees, 3 have Master's degrees, and another was valedictorian of his law school.
My daughter, daughters in law, and I appreciated Sister Beck's talk! We've "worked" outside the home. Our most important "work" is in our homes!
Sunstone--stop invalidating us!
Anon808 | 12:05 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
Sister Beck was/is right even if in my family, my wife works and I have taken
care of the 4 kids now all grown. I have taken great flack for this from time to
time, but it is a choice we made way back in the beginning and for good reason.
I have earned money over the years in many different was, to include Foster
Care. Also being a 40% Disabled Vietnam Vet. About three years ago I went back
to School and obtained my College Degree. We believe that the kids should be
raised by their parents and do not believe in Day Care although a Baby Sitter
and Relatives from time to time are okay. Like many people we do not fit Sister
Beck�s or for that matter the LDS ideal, but that does not
make Sister Beck Wrong nor does it make us Wrong. It is just the way it is and
has to be. The same as it is in many cases. My wife is a very active mother and
is on the Mainland on Vacation with the Two Youngest 19 and 17, both 2008 High
School Grads, Seminary Grads, going to College etc.
Thanks Mom | 12:07 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
Thanks Mom for staying home and being there for me. There when I woke up. There
when I came home. There when I went to bed. Maybe it wasn't so glorified
in your circle of friends, but they are all gone and the rest of us
remain...grateful children for your commitment, love and sacrifice.
Barlow | 12:06 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
I felt the talk to be wonderful! In fact, I think I will download it and listen
to it again.
Jane | 12:07 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
So does this mean that us that are homemakers get to throw a fit the next time
someone talks about the wonderful women who work outside the home. Should we be
offended every time Hillary Clinton talks. So there is one little talk that
comes from the other angle and all you feminist have a stroke, while we have to
put up with the other side of the story every day. calm down
anonymous | 12:23 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
It's not always easy to follow the gospel of Jesus Christ. Even the best of
us have to make some difficult choices in order to be saved. In the bible,
Christ told a young men that he must sell everything he had and follow him. The
boy was sorrowful, but he had a choice. It's not always easy for women to
stay at home. It's not always easy for a man to go to work either
especially in this world of two-income families. I used to be fearful that I
would not be able to support my family. But I have been blessed. My wife is
grateful for the opportunity to stay home with her kids. And anyone who has the
nerve to tell her that she is naive or a slave who doesn't know what's
good for her, is an extremely condescending and arrogant human being. Such
individuals would advocate policies that induce individuals to make decisions
that are "for their own good." How arrogant to think that you know
better than them. The LDS church is not a cafeteria. Our country is based on
freedom of religion. Gripe all you want. Nobody is making you do anything.
Brigham Young | 12:23 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
said..."He who takes offense when no offense was intended is a fool, and he
who takes offense when offense is intended is usually a fool."
compare | 12:36 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
I don't know any other organization in the world where women are viewed
with such high respect as the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. So
before anyone starts to complain how badly done by they are by the Church, look
around and compare to see if anyone else sees the value of women and their
possibilities for good as this Church.
to sister Aagard | 12:44 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
I am very sorry that man told you you didn't know you were a slave. That
was such a rude comment to make to you. That person needs to learn about
respect. He has no right to offend just because you didn't agree with
him.
Know that what you are doing is the right thing. You don't need anybody to tell you that. And also you shouldn't let anybody to put you down. Just wait until the Second Coming and we will see who was right.
I am a working single mother of two and I've always counciled young mothers to treasure and spend every minute they can with their kids. I've had some success in my job and it could've been more but I've always put my kids first and I have never regreted a second any of the sacrifices I made for my kids because I DO know that my kids's success in life as good children of our Heavenly Father will be my success. That IS my career goal in life. Job is only the means that I have to support my family.
It's time to give the right priority to things.
Know that what you are doing is the right thing. You don't need anybody to tell you that. And also you shouldn't let anybody to put you down. Just wait until the Second Coming and we will see who was right.
I am a working single mother of two and I've always counciled young mothers to treasure and spend every minute they can with their kids. I've had some success in my job and it could've been more but I've always put my kids first and I have never regreted a second any of the sacrifices I made for my kids because I DO know that my kids's success in life as good children of our Heavenly Father will be my success. That IS my career goal in life. Job is only the means that I have to support my family.
It's time to give the right priority to things.
Great Talk! | 12:51 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
I am so grateful for the talk and my friends and I agree that it was a great
talk. Her counsel has only helped our marriage and family!
Travis Marshall | 12:56 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
I've listened to her talk numerous times and every time, I'm imspired
to be a better father and more in struck by the porfound everlasting influnence
of a Mother on everyone in her family circle. If you have one focus on the
Savior then your life is simplified!
Because we can not do it on are own, we have to say alot of little prayers for help everyday, and rule by gentleness and meedness and longsuffering and love unfeined, or we have no power or influence. Raising kids can definantly be trying to any person.
Because we can not do it on are own, we have to say alot of little prayers for help everyday, and rule by gentleness and meedness and longsuffering and love unfeined, or we have no power or influence. Raising kids can definantly be trying to any person.
Re: SJ Bobkins | 1:02 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
Are you really serious?
awesomeron | 1:18 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
Perspective: We do not know!! Its called Name but No Game. Have you ever been to
someone�s house and they have said "I am Mormon and I
Smoke/Drink/ Drink Coffee/Tea, Beer, and am not active, nor are my wife and
kids" 2 Generations back to find a Priesthood Holder to give a Name and a
Blessing. However the Baptism at age 8 will take place, even though 6 1/2 years
of Sunday School has not taken place. To Busy for conference and shop/work on
Sunday, but where "Mormons." Pro Choice "but where Mormons"
etc. Perhaps they are those people.
Amaricor | 4:25 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
I am reminded of the scripture that states,"The wicked take the truth to be
hard, but the righteous love the truth." You decided where you stand......
John C. | 4:33 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
I always love people who think that Gods laws and doctorins are up for debate.
SJ Bobkins | 4:55 a.m. Aug. 9, 2008
Yes, I have faith, but not blind faith, I follow but I also think. I have
tolerance and enjoy the differences in others. Ms Beck has in mind a stereotype
that many women can't match or don't wish to, yet those women are
wonderful Christ-centered saints.
Conference talks are/may be edited after the fact. If something said in a talk can or has been misinterpreted, a "new" talk is given with a cough track added. I find that somewhat disingenuous because at no point is it noted, when that talk is published or placed on a CD, that it is edited and not the original comments. Church leaders, as time has gone on, have dramatically changed views on birth control, (in 1910 Jos F. Smith stated that any attempt to limit a family size was falling into the hands of the devil), women working, college education and careers for women. Folks it's not doctrine but opinion. When Jos Smith stated there were men living on the moon, it was his opinion. When BY spoke of Blacks invalientcy in the preexistence, it was his opinion. They are mortal men, and women. Folks WAKE UP and think.
Conference talks are/may be edited after the fact. If something said in a talk can or has been misinterpreted, a "new" talk is given with a cough track added. I find that somewhat disingenuous because at no point is it noted, when that talk is published or placed on a CD, that it is edited and not the original comments. Church leaders, as time has gone on, have dramatically changed views on birth control, (in 1910 Jos F. Smith stated that any attempt to limit a family size was falling into the hands of the devil), women working, college education and careers for women. Folks it's not doctrine but opinion. When Jos Smith stated there were men living on the moon, it was his opinion. When BY spoke of Blacks invalientcy in the preexistence, it was his opinion. They are mortal men, and women. Folks WAKE UP and think.
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Sister Beck also gave a talk in the Sunday Morning Session of General Conference entitled "Mothers Who Know". This talk also touched on some of the same themes. Yet she specifically addressed the issue of women who are unable to be mothers in this life.
On a side note I had to laugh when the person suggested that woman leaders of the church have no experience outside Utah. Sister Beck was raised almost as much in Brazil as in the United States. Her first counselor, Sister Allred, is a native of El Salvador, and has lived in at least five different countries at various points in her life.