Deseret News | Reader comments: Baby critical after being left in hot car

Reader comments
Baby critical after being left in hot car

SallyW | 9:31 a.m. June 18, 2008

So sorry for the mother. God bless this child.

So sad | 10:21 a.m. June 18, 2008

Time and time again we become distracted and forgot our most precious children.

Okie | 10:32 a.m. June 18, 2008

This happens more and more because they are in the backseat. One time when my first was very young (now in his 30's) I was at a laundrymat I almost forgot him. I consider myself a loving and caring mom. My heart aches for this mother and other mothers that this has happened to. The law cannot punish her anymore than she is punishing herself. Don't give me that more holdier than thou speech.

Comments continue below

Slow Down | 10:52 a.m. June 18, 2008

This is happening more and more and that is because no one slows down or even stops to take a breath anymore. We get so wraped up in everything that we forget the little things; in this instance our children. My thoughts a prayers go out to this family.

Clare | 10:56 a.m. June 18, 2008

This may be a stupid idea, but what if there was some way a sensor could be put in the car that went off when a baby was left in a car seat, tied into the car system when there is a certain amount of weight in the seat. You know, like when I leave my lights on or leave in my keys. I don't know if this is possible, just a thought.

Poor mother. I don't know if I could forgive myself. I hope she can.

RE: Clare | 11:14 a.m. June 18, 2008

That does not sound stupid at all. In fact it might be the next option put into vehicles. Great Idea!

Joe Moe | 11:23 a.m. June 18, 2008

There seems to be an assumption that there is a higher rate of this sad occurrence now than in the past. Can anyone back up such an assumption? It may be true, but do we really know?

It's like war. Everyone assumes that wars are more common and more violent now than in the past, but I think an objective look shows that this world is actually safer now than just about ever in history, on the whole. Now we just happen to be more informed and aware.

Clare, you've got something | 11:28 a.m. June 18, 2008

This is seriously a good idea. I know more than one person who has nearly forgotten a baby in a care--they are in the back, as Okie said. And if you have several other kids and packages and so on, it might happen to even very well-intentioned parents.
I remember once when I lived near enough (about 2 blocks) to our church that our family often walked. We had a baby only a couple of months old and six other kids. Suddenly, as we were walking, I realized that NO ONE had picked up the baby (different ones of us took turns carrying him--we didn't have a stroller, this was over 30 years ago). Talk about mortified! See Mom run!
I do hope this baby will recover.

Re: Joe Moe | 11:35 a.m. June 18, 2008

No, we can't back up the assumption. But in the past, we never buckled up, so the kids never got left in the car.

happened to me | 11:51 a.m. June 18, 2008

I once left my baby in the car for about twenty minutes before I remembered. I felt so terrible. This could happen to anyone.

I started putting my purse in the backseat with the baby every single time I drove so that this would never happen again.

Concerned Dad | 11:56 a.m. June 18, 2008

There's actually something already on the market that does something similar to your good idea, Clare. It's a thing that clips on to your baby's clothing. If you walk away more than ten feet or so, it makes a small dongle on your keychain go off. Your idea based on weight in the car seat is a good one as well.

Didn't Happen to Me, But... | 12:30 p.m. June 18, 2008

--->I started putting my purse in the backseat with the baby every single time I drove so that this would never happen again.<---

I understand your panic, and bravo for coming up with a nearly fool-proof way to make sure it never happens again. Very smart!

Isn't it sad that, in this modern world, we're more apt to forget a baby than a purse?

happened to me | 12:47 p.m. June 18, 2008

the purse is always in the car with me, but the baby isn't. The baby is often home with Dad when I go shopping. So the purse still stays in the back seat. You can't make me feel bad about doing what what my subconcious will remind me of.

Where do you people come from. Maybe you need something bad to happen to you so you can become humble.

So Sad | 12:55 p.m. June 18, 2008

2 hours though? How is it possible to forget a 6 month old baby for so long? They need constant food and care. There weren't other children distracting her as far as I read. It just seems like a very costly mistake. Maybe the mother was sleep deprived but 2 hours? I really pray that the baby will come through but the probability of that happening is very slim.

Re: Clare | 12:55 p.m. June 18, 2008

Get to the drawing board and design it! Thats a great idea! Saves lives and feel really good about making your money! Go Clare!

Re: happened to me 12:47 | 12:57 p.m. June 18, 2008

"happened to me" -- I don't think anyone was trying to make you feel bad. Instead, I read praise for your idea with the purse.

I, too, pray that this child will recover.

Weight in the seat will not do | 1:16 p.m. June 18, 2008

with all the stuff we carry around now days. So many sensor alarms would be going off that no one would pay any attention. Look at it now with just door locks etc. Think of something else folks. God bless this family...and the baby. Cars are just not for leaving baby's in period. Don't do it folks.

prosecute | 1:18 p.m. June 18, 2008

when innocent victims are hurt or killed by other's negligence it doesn't really help to say that it was an accident, the baby will be just as dead if it was an accident or not.

Re: prosecute | 1:47 p.m. June 18, 2008

And I'm sure you have NEVER done anything from distraction that you regret or someone else could possibly consider unforgiveable??? Get off your high horse.

re: prosecute and like minds | 1:55 p.m. June 18, 2008

When it comes to criminal behavior, especially when others will be in danger, I am so with you. But, I would imagine that the least likely person to leave a child in the car, would be a person who has already done it. The best that can come out of horrible events like this is that we become more educated. There are some great ideas being discussed here. We live in a very different world. Like was said, kids weren't in car seats in the back seat. We are trying to do too much. It is easy to say we need to slow down, but it is not always easy to know how to do that. This mother is suffering already. Of course I care about the innocent child. I have four children of my own and the thought of one of them being stuck in a car (or anywhere)calling for help makes me literally sick, but prosecuting the mother won't help. Education and innovation will.

Jg | 1:57 p.m. June 18, 2008

It is hard for me to understand how anyone much less a mother could leave her car and forget she had the baby with her. I do believe she will punish herself for the rest of her life but I think this is a symptom of a GREATER problem. The mothers of 40yrs and further Were not involved in this race to PROVE WE are EQUAL WITH MEN. Women of today have lost their way and forgot what is most IMPORTANT and THAT is loving and Nurturing our familys and yes if that means we take a back seat to our HUSBANDS careers so be it.

Re: Prosecute | 2:00 p.m. June 18, 2008

Yes, and the baby will be just as dead if they DO prosecute. Selection of the crime to prosecute depends a great deal on motive. It is supposed to punish wilful or pre-meditated acts. And it is supposed to work as a deterent against similar crimes. I am sure the law enforcement people will consider all these issues in this case, and they should.
But I'd rather pray for the baby's survival and health--and for the mother, too. If she is a good mother, surely she needs our prayers, too. And maybe even more if she isn't.
And, prosecute, if you or someone close to you has been the victim of another's negligent act, may you receive peace and comfort. I know a little of how much it can hurt.

Casey | 2:02 p.m. June 18, 2008

Prosecute,

Your answer to the problem only creates more problems, more burdens on society, more guilt, more hurt, and more anger. Are you so occupied with your desire for societal justice that you can't see the damage your solution will cause. IIRC, a young boy left in a car while his dad hunted got out and died. People like you pushed prosecution. The judge who made the decision still carries guilt for the father who, after his conviction was announced, went out and killed himself. Who was helped by the decision to prosecute?

Thou Shalt Not Judge | 2:33 p.m. June 18, 2008

I am very close to this family. I have known them personally for years. The mother of this child is one of the most loving parents I have ever known. I am a mother of one and I know how busy things can get. In this situation she really did just forget. I know that we may not all understand that but they are now going through living hell. Please dont be so quick to judge. We all say it couldnt happen to me. We are all human...we all make mistakes. I hope and pray that there sweet boy lives. Either way she will never forgive herself. Please pray for this good family...they need all of our prayers.

RE:Jg | 2:50 p.m. June 18, 2008

That isn't what the problem was in this situation. As a stay at home mom I find myself busier and more distracted with all I have to do than I ever did when I had a full-time job. You honestly just don't know her or her situation. Many women now days are forced to work because their husband or whomever can't or won't support their family.

pa | 2:50 p.m. June 18, 2008

im far from perfect,god and everybody else knows,but i have never ever forgot any of my children in a car or else where ever! I HAVE FORGOT MY WALLET,MONEY,CELL PHONE,FOOD BUT NEVER MY CHILDREN THEY ARE THE WORLD TO ME AND THERE IS NO EXCUSE IN THE WORLD NONE!! i love my children more than life itself! the truth hurts and it should. my heart goes out to that poor baby.we are the ones that are supposed to have common sense people!! the society we live in always tries to put the blame on someone else.the mother needs to own up to the fact that it was pure neglect,plain and simple!

poorbaby | 3:19 p.m. June 18, 2008

so sorry for the baby. God Bless the baby. Heaven help the "mother." How can a mother "forget" her baby for one second in a car, let alone 2 hours while she was playing on the computer with a friend? It is unfathomable to me. I'm a parent of over 22 years and it has never happened to me. It is inexcusable. I hope the poor baby survives and if he does, I surely hope he will not be allowed to go back into this home until this mother has gotten some serious help.

Survivor | 3:30 p.m. June 18, 2008

When I was 6 weeks old my mom put me in the shade of a tree (we lived in Africa at that time). She "forgot" me because she met up with a schoolfriend. After 3 hours she came back, only to find that the shade of the tree had moved and as a result I ended up in hospital.
To this day (I'm 50 now) I can't stay in the sun without getting a sunstroke. I'm sure there is a reason I survived that, but I have suffered physically ever since.
My heart goes out to that baby as well as to the mother...
A tough lesson to be learned by her, but even tougher for the baby as I hope that there will be no permanent damage to the baby's health.
As parents we have a HUGE responsibility. Let us focus on that instead of rushing through our lives...

Victor | 3:43 p.m. June 18, 2008

Wow, this is so hard to read! I know we are just humans and we are far from perfect in our care but I join other in the question of how could a mother forget her 6 month old baby? I don't even forget my pets in my car!

The only thing I can think of is that we are so caught in this rushed life we live in Utah. Everything has to be done within a deadline; and everything has to be done quickly; and we have to have a job and a church calling and children; and we have to be five people in one. I think we all need to relax our lives a little, take time and never forget our immediate priorities.

I pray for the child, but also for the parents as public scrutiny can be brutal and unforgiving.

Reader | 4:24 p.m. June 18, 2008

Sorry, but all these excuses that "life is so busy, we are so distracted" are not excuses. Your child should be your number one priority-- period, not visiting a friend or messing around on a computer. Why do people keep placing the blame for parents' shortcomings on how "busy and distracted" they are? It's all about priorities and putting them in their proper order.

Re: Victor | 4:51 p.m. June 18, 2008

I was just waiting for someone to bring Utah into this and be critical. For your information, this sort of thing happens in many different states--certainly has happened in my state, fairly frequently.
You are correct that rushed lives, getting distracted, and so on, are certainly part of the problem. It's even true that sometimes the person caring for the baby (it's certainly not always the mother) has some sort of problem, like substance abuse. But, I think most often, the baby is asleep, the caregiver runs in the house to carry packages in, do something, whatever, and simply does get distracted.
Still horrible for the baby and I hope it never happens again to ANYONE ANYWHERE.

i don't understand | 5:12 p.m. June 18, 2008

Having never been a mother, I guess I just don't understand how a mother could forget her own child. I don't get it!! How old is this mother? Yes becoming distracted or something I can understand but becoming so distracted you forget your own flesh and blood--another human being let alone a baby? Didn't she bother to look in the back seat or anything? Obviously not. Our lives have got to quit being so busy we forget things that are REALLY important, not some things that are really trivial. Where are our priorities anyway? I'm very surprised the 6 month old baby even was alive.

Fredd | 5:12 p.m. June 18, 2008

How do you change behavior? If this child was okay would we favor punishing the mother? Of course our sympathy and empathy go out to her because of the consequences her baby faces. No offense but Utah has to be the worst state for taking care of children. No bike hemets, no car seats, etc. I had neighbor kids refuse to put on seat belts. I had another want to go on a bile ride with my family and wouldn't wear a helmet. I can't count the times I saw infants on laps as famlies drove two blocks to church. Sorry, its a cultural thing I guess.

In My Prayers | 6:29 p.m. June 18, 2008

I can only imagine the horrible terror she must have experienced when she remembered. And the impact of this terrible event on those around her, whose strength and support I hope she will receive and draw on during this time. The mother, the baby, and the family are in my prayers.

Prosecute? Ask Wayment | 6:35 p.m. June 18, 2008

About 6-7 years ago, a man, last name of Wayment, parked his truck in the mountains and left his 5 year old boy in the truck. Wayment went hunting for an hour. When he returned, his boy was not in the truck. Panicked, Wayment searched but could not find. Search crews were called in. The boy was eventually found, frozen to death. He had exited the truck to look for his Dad.

Wayment was accused later of not looking "distraught" or "punished" enough. His ex wife went on the news and questioned his motives. The finger pointers and those willing to judge somebody by the look on their face, convinced themselves Wayment did not look punished enough. The Judge expressed sympathy for Wayment but sentenced him to 1 month in jail.

Those judging did not know how hurt Wayment was inside. He was hurting the way only a parent could hurt, after unintentially bringing harm to their child. Wayment drove back up to the canyon with his gun, sat down near the spot where his boy was found, and took his own life. Maybe his critics now feel he is punished enough.

Prosecute? Only when facts call for it.

re clare | 6:38 p.m. June 18, 2008

I think you have a good idea. Someone ought to put that into place. They invent alot of other things, why not some kind of sensor? I hope someone reading this can do something about it. I don't have the know-how.

GAL50 | 6:47 p.m. June 18, 2008

I can answer as to how a mother can forget a child. My son was born without the ability to sleep which made me unable to sleep. Sleep research has now proven that being deprived of sleep is similar to being drunk. Lucky for me, I never forgot him, but I certainly believe I could have and I'll give you two examples that almost prove it. I put a steak on the grill. Awhile later, I smelled smoke. When I looked on the stove, I found nothing burning. Only four hours later when I walked next to the grill did I recall that I was grilling a steak. On another occasion I was cooking rice, while I also had a cold. The house filled up with smoke. Completely forgetting about the rice and unable to smell, I kept rubbing my eyes because I believed mucous was clouding my vision. Caring for infants is physically draining and occasionally awful things are going to happen. I really believe it could have as easily happened to me as it happened to this mother. Obviously, the worst punishment is a critical or dead child. Being charged with a serious crime is relatively inconsequential.

To the Friend: | 7:24 p.m. June 18, 2008

This is to the friend the mom was with when this happened: STOP TALKING TO NEWS REPORTERS! If this baby does not survive and if this mother is prosecuted with a crime what you are saying could potentially hurt her case so you need to zip your lip right now. I'm sure you have nothing but care and concern for you but please, stop talking to everyone unless the family authorizes it!

I'm sure this was just a horrible mistake that the mother made. Let's not condem her- we've all made mistakes. May the Lord bless this baby and his family.

I will Not be casting any stones | 8:49 p.m. June 18, 2008

I just want to say that I love my children with all my heart. I am a mother of two. When my little boy was about a year old I was going into Walmart for something. I got to the store entrance before I realized that my little guy was still in the car. He had been sleeping and hadn't made a sound. When I realized I forgot him (less than 2 minutes) I ran as fast as I possibly could back to the car. When I got back to him I sat there and bawled my head off while holding him tightly. It may sound absurd to forget a kid, but it does happen. Just because you haven't ever had it happen doesn't make you a better parent. My prayers are with everyone involved. Including the quick to cast a stone people on here.

K | 8:51 p.m. June 18, 2008

Too many people do leave a pet in the car. I am not even an animal person - no pets and it gets me mad to hear a barking dog in a car.

Hasn't happened to me, thank goodness. I really like the idea of the alarm. Or even an alarm to go off if the car reaches a certain temperature and it senses a person or animal inside - like a car alarm. They are in the backseat, sometimes they fall asleep and I can see someone forgeting they are back there. Sometimes they are with us when we go to the store or the laundry, etc... other times not - so it can happen to easily. We do so much stuff out of habit. The purse idea is also a good one.

Our church bulletin just ran an ad reminding us not to leave a child in the car. I wonder if it happens more this time of year. A car can get dangerously hot even in the 60's.

I also think every car should have a breathalizer attached to it. That way no one can drive drunk, unless a nondrunk person breathes into the thing.

Poorbaby | 9:53 p.m. June 18, 2008

To I Will Not Be Casting Any Stones: You are wrong: A person who does NOT leave their child/baby in a car to bake and die is absolutely a much better parent than one who does! This is the truth and you're only trying to make yourself feel better by denying it. It is inexcusable. As I wrote before, I've been a parent for 22 years and never, not once have I done this. How is it even possible? Especially with an infant--you carry all this paraphanalia around and it's such effort to even get the baby in the car to begin with, car seat, etc..how can one forget the baby after doing all of that? Intentional or not (and I'm sure it wasn't) how can anyone be that spaced out? That irresponsible? And for 2!!! hours! Anyone who does this needs some serious help and probably should think twice about bring another child in the world if they are that irresponsible. Poor, poor baby. God Bless him that he will get well and that irresponsible mother get help for she is seriously in need of it. Unless she has alzheimers, noone's memory is that bad.

Anonymous | 12:19 a.m. June 19, 2008

As sad as this is, it happens more than you think. It happened in my town not to long ago. it wasn't that hot out and the baby was fine-Thank God, but it still happened, and I think the alarm and the purse idea are great. God bless the baby! My thoughts and prayers are with him and his entire family.

l | 12:28 a.m. June 19, 2008

"I had another [neighbor kid] want to go on a bile ride with my family and wouldn't wear a helmet."

-Fredd | 5:12 p.m.

I hope you wear masks and gloves on your bile rides, in addition to helmets. Perhaps you're just referring to the path next to the Jordan River, but whatever it means, count me out.

Now, regarding the comment about Mr. Wayment (6:35 p.m.) anyone that has a small child knows if you leave a child alone, the child will come looking for you - whether tired, bored, hungry, scared, etc. Sitting alone in a truck up in the mountains, he was probably tired, bored, hungry, and scared within about 10 minutes of waking up. If Gage was even 5, like the commenter above mistakenly said, he *might* have had the sense to stay put, but probably not. Gage was 2, not 5. What happened with Paul and Gage was unfortunate, but was due to his decision to leave his child alone. This situation is a mother completely forgetting about having her child in the car, not purposely deciding to leave the child in the car, so it's really not the same thing.

Back Seat driver | 5:20 a.m. June 19, 2008

Several commentors here have listed children being in carseats in the backsea being a reason why they are forgotten. What in the world does the location of the child car seat have to do with forgetting a child? Are you suggesting car seats should be in the front so you have that visual reminder of the child you went through labor to bring into this world? Is is really out of sight out of mind when it comes to caring for a child? What a silly excuse.

To GAL50, no one questions that caring for a child causes fatigue and sleep deprivation. But this was a 6 month old, not a six week old. Unless a child has a rare disorder like yours, babies are sleeping soundly through the night long before six months. Secondly, this mother was not napping or walking around like a zombie, she was at a friend's house working on computer issues. We all know how engrossing computers can be, and how all sense of time is lost when working to resolve a computer problem or task. Sleep deprivation seems to have had nothing to do with this incident.

Jon | 7:11 a.m. June 19, 2008

Good grief! Judge not lest ye be judged. Criminal intent is for the courts to decide. Forgiveness and compassion is what we should do on a personal level. As for those of you who would never and have never left a child and say its inconceivable, that MAY be so in your life, it doesn't mean the it IS so in everyone else's life. No excuses? Be careful, that kind of thinking can come back to haunt you if something does happen to one of your children, something that in hindsight you should have been able to avoid. Judge not, for with what judgment ye judge, ye shall be judged.

Brad | 9:02 a.m. June 19, 2008

Last July the Deseret News published a heart-wrenching article about parents who accidently leave their children in cars. The article explained in detail that heat related deaths of children being left in a hot car TRIPLED beginning in 1995 when laws were passed requiring children to be buckled in a car seat in the back of a car. As I recall... before 1995 there were typically about 12-15 deaths per year nationwide... after 1995 the number immediately jumped to over 30 deaths per year

Everyone knows that child car seats save hundreds of lives per year... but this is one unfortanate side effect. Fact of the matter is that parents buckle their children in car seats hundreds of millions of times in this nation each year... and a child buckled in the back is ever-so-slightly more likely to be forgotten. Sad reality... my heart goes out to the family.

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