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Sexualizing kids: No child left behind — and fighting back

Parents, organizations decide to fight back

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  • hapticz New York, NY
    Sept. 25, 2011 8:54 p.m.

    legislating every last iota of behavior is totalitarian and reeks of complete loss of free individual will. it is the ultimate UN American activity.

    sex is always with us, every day, its part of what the human animal is, if only because it is our only means of survival across eons of time. its the bad short term decisions that become long term emotional issues that tumble alongside our lives as we seek to find a better way for all to live, without exploiting each other for some cheap coinage and imaginary values.

    the simple familial relationship stuff, love, caring, compassion and sharing that builds the trust and safety of wholesomme lives.

    Exploiting children is rampant, it has become one of the biggest marketing pushes in the last 20 years. It is insidious and interferes with economic and psychological cost.

    the ad men are out-communicating the parents, they know how to smooth talk your children better than you will ever realize.

  • hapticz New York, NY
    Sept. 25, 2011 8:53 p.m.

    from the point where any child's hormones begin to pull sway and influence their interpersonal relationships, there will always be some profiteering ad man, somewhere, seeking to exploit that tenuous balance between ultra easy sex-feel-good and the strict obedience to expected (and productive) behavior. parents have their own inner demons, wishywashyness and social constraints they have managed with to get as far as they have, but adding these outside influences to their offspring, adds yet more demands upon their resolve and compassionate understanding of the childs 'newly arising' sexual development.

  • BASavage Orem, UT
    Sept. 24, 2011 6:50 a.m.

    This was a good article. Lots of good information. There are some things that caused me concern. First was the fact that children have to be told some things are wrong. Just plain wrong. No for the sake of no and let the child learn on their own goes along way If you do this they will learn in their teens why certain things are wrong and shouldn't be tried.

    Second is that most of the girls who wear sexy clothes and do sexy things when very young typically don't have fathers in the home. Or they don't have fathers that tell them and their mothers its not right to wear those clothes. Again when a child is younger than about 12 they don't have the ablity to reason the same way as an adult. Just say no, its not right to a 8 year old girl when she wants to wear revealing clothes will be remembered when she's 15.

    I could go on about statistics that show that less than half of our children are being raised without a father in the home and in some areas of our society its over 70 percent. Good disipline works.

  • DanielWayneLewis SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    Sept. 23, 2011 11:39 p.m.

    I'm only 29, so I can remember being a teenager, but I don't remember girls that young acting and dressing the way they do now. A lot of people don't know that the concept of "teenager" wasn't even invented until after WW2, and this "tween" concept was invented about ten years ago. The fact is, children are children. For some reason, our society has decided to create a space in the course of life (tween, teen, college age), where people are supposed to have increasing liberty to do as they please, like an adult, yet somehow still have their parents to bail them out of trouble. I look at people my age (around 30), and it is obvious to see the effects of a liberal childhood; those who were unrestrained generally have far more problems, than those such as myself who grew up in restrained households.

  • RedShirt USS Enterprise, UT
    Sept. 21, 2011 10:14 a.m.

    To "John C. C. | 5:35 a.m." nice avoidance of the question.

    What you are saying is that you recongnize the fact that the women who provocatively are doing so because they WANT the attention. Then, when given the attention, and objectification that comes with it, they cry foul. They have received exactly what they were seeking, and that was attention.

    So, here is the chicken and egg question. Did society tell women that they needed to dress provocatively to get a man, or did women dress provocatively to get a man before it became socially acceptable?

  • John C. C. Payson, UT
    Sept. 21, 2011 5:35 a.m.

    To RedShirt,

    Female eyes would be attracted to the neon yellow in shock, not desire. You'll notice that we don't have a problem with neon yellow suits lately.

    Most women are less superficial than most men. They are tuned to emotional attraction more than physical. Men would greatly improve their marriages, not just lead the way to modesty, by learning this from women.

  • Miss Piggie Tucson, AZ
    Sept. 20, 2011 8:45 p.m.

    @Jeanie b.: "There is a big difference in femininity and dressing like a sexual object, which is the whole point of this article."

    Try flattening all your natural feminine curves and shaving your head and see how many dates you get. You might catch some weirdo's eye.

    ------------------------

    @atl134: "Then why is it I tend to ask out women who don't care about the latest fashions..."

    It's not fashion per se. If she wore a burqua or baggy dirty overalls to a junior prom as your date, I would have to think you would be scratching your head as she meets you at her door saying to yourself... Huh? What gives? What's with this gal?

    "In fact wouldn't that be the fastest way to figure out if a man really loves you?"

    Perhaps, but most would be sitting home sobbing in her room asking herself what's wrong with me that I can't seem to get any dates?

    If you want to be thought of by males as feminine, you must not only act feminine but dress feminine as well.

  • DeltaFoxtrot West Valley, UT
    Sept. 20, 2011 2:37 p.m.

    It's not just teens, society has been juvenilizing women for decades. We wonder why there are so many child predators, well just look at how a significant percentage of adult women dress.

    But hey, designers wouldn't make the stuff if it didn't sell. This is the free market at work. Don't like it? Blame yourself.

  • RedShirt USS Enterprise, UT
    Sept. 20, 2011 1:21 p.m.

    To "John C. C. | 12:25 p.m." are men guilt of the creating the problem or are women guilty of creating the problem. Think of it this way, if you walked into a room and everybody was wearing conservative black suits, except 1 person was wearing a neon yellow suit. Would you take notice of that person?

    In other words, if a person dresses to be noticed, and gets the attention they desire, who's fault is it that the attention was given?

  • John C. C. Payson, UT
    Sept. 20, 2011 12:25 p.m.

    We men are probably the most guilty in having created this problem. Women follow our eyes. The next time we walk into a room and our eyes are drawn to the skin instead of the eyes, we have just proven our guilt again.

    My challenge: The next time we approach a group of women, wait until we have talked to each of them. Then turn to the one that possessed the most admirable traits of the ideal person and give her our attention, regardless of superficial appearance.

    We are so shallow and predictable. Let's grow up.

  • wamba Layton, UT
    Sept. 20, 2011 11:08 a.m.

    A wonderful article that doesn't just whine about oversexualization of kids. The authors intelligently described some smart ways to adjust the way we raise our children.

    Unfortunately, from my experience, I expect 99% of the parents who read this article will not have the courage or ability to have intelligent conversations with their kids. Parents can only fight the media onslaught by having constant, open, comfortable, intelligent conversations about sexuality, and that makes conservative parents uncomfortable, so this will be reduced to parents telling their daughters it's immodest to have their shoulders uncovered.

  • atl134 Salt Lake City, UT
    Sept. 20, 2011 8:06 a.m.

    "You'll not get a man who really loves you with hidden femininity."

    Then why is it I tend to ask out women who don't care about the latest fashions, tend to wear more modest clothes than average, and don't spend half an hour or more a day putting makeup on? In fact wouldn't that be the fastest way to figure out if a man really loves you?

  • Jeanie b. Orem, UT
    Sept. 20, 2011 1:06 a.m.

    Miss Piggy-

    There is a big difference in femininity and dressing like a sexual object, which is the whole point of this article.

    No one is asking girls not to be feminine unless their idea of femininity is to parade female body parts and act like you were created for one thing only.

    You took my point too far.

    BTW - I personally do not wear a burqua, I have found a man that cherishes me and appreciates my femininity, and I have created life with him. It's a beautiful, feminine, womanly thing.

  • kargirl Sacramento, CA
    Sept. 20, 2011 12:21 a.m.

    For Miss Piggie: Sure, it's nice to have someone say you look nice. But for me, it will happen on my terms, and I think that's what is being said. To encourage a meat-market mentality in a preschool-age girl, where the idea is to dress and perform for the boys, is not a way to teach her to be a woman. If she is to develop as a whole person, she needs to be emotionally, intellectually, spiritually, and physically as fit as she can be. She has to be true to who she is, not a playground to the boy who makes the most noise or asks her out first. She isn't being raised to become someone's playground, she's being raised to be a person with abitlities, sensitivities, and, should she find a man worthy to share her love and life, perhaps a mother of children. But that is not because she chose to be a walking advertisement of her charms. It is because she waited to share them with one of her own choosing.

  • Miss Piggie Tucson, AZ
    Sept. 19, 2011 11:59 p.m.

    @Jeanie b.:

    "Many of us believe that the "God-given drive" is something more refined and uplifting than warrants just anyone objectifying us for their own satisfaction."

    Then perhaps you need to don a berqua. That would put a stop to objectification. Or, perhaps just stay indoors away from public view.

    "That God-given drive is what allows us to be close to our husbands and to create new life."

    You first need to get a husband before you can (or should) create new life.

    "It allows us to share something with the man who really loves us."

    You'll not get a man who really loves you with hidden femininity.

    "That God-given drive is not to be beaten out of us, but saved for someone who actually deserves it.

    No one is beating it out of you. Your conduct is your choice.

    "In their hearts women (young and old) want to be cherished more than they want to be 'looked at.'"

    If you want cherish be advised that it does not grow on trees. And if you're expecting it without some measure of viewable femininity, I say good luck.

  • Jeanie b. Orem, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 9:57 p.m.

    Miss Piggy said "Look, LexieK, girls like to be looked at. It's their nature. God make them that way. What you and others are trying to do is make them feel guilty over it. Or, perhaps turn them into some sort of zombies so they kill the God-given drive."

    Many of us believe that the "God-given drive" is something more refined and uplifting than warrants just anyone objectifying us for their own satisfaction. That God-given drive is what allows us to be close to our husbands and to create new life. It allows us to share something with the man who really loves us. That God-given drive is not to be beaten out of us, but saved for someone who actually deserves it.

    In their hearts women (young and old) want to be cherished more than they want to be "looked at". Sadly, this article proves that the message young girls are getting is that to be cherished you have to dress yourself in a way that encourages you to be "looked at" by anyone for any reason.

  • infoman Cedar Hills, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 9:38 p.m.

    The last time I drove through Salt Lake, I was flabbergasted at all the billboards advertising plastic surgery. Perhaps Reagan Billboards could help out a little bit more with positive messages getting out?

  • atl134 Salt Lake City, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 8:04 p.m.

    @LexieK
    ["Healthy sexuality for females" would be any sexual choices that are made on girls'/women's own informed terms ]

    Completely agree.

    @Miss Piggie
    "Are you saying that girls'/women's "parts to be enjoyed" are supposed to not be enjoyed except under conditions laid down by someone other than those who would make money off the situation?"

    Well...yeah, i mean... shouldn't the woman be the one in control of that?

    "girls like to be looked at"

    They would definitely have some qualifying statements and preferences for that. Despite being a guy I find this notion offensive towards women.

    "God make them that way. What you and others are trying to do is make them feel guilty over it."

    Someone who says that healthy sexuality for women involves women making decisions on their own informed terms is way different than campaigns that are guilt-based.

  • Cindy W Magna, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 5:50 p.m.

    @ulvegaard - I think you have hit on one of the major reasons why these trends take hold. A lot of kids do not believe that they have any "worth" beyond their sexuality - they don't believe they have "beauty" beyond the sexuality.

    Kudos to Lindsay (and Lexi) for tackling this problem. I think you will score more points with these girls on a peer to peer basis than many adults (outside of parents) will.

    Oh and to all you dads commenting on this story - bless you. An involved, loving father is a big piece of the puzzle. Contrary to what the feminists think....

    Cindy

  • Miss Piggie Tucson, AZ
    Sept. 19, 2011 5:18 p.m.

    LexieK, I still don't get it. Are you saying that girls'/women's "parts to be enjoyed" are supposed to not be enjoyed except under conditions laid down by someone other than those who would make money off the situation? Is that supposed to be what makes girls better people?

    I think what's going on here is, mothers (and others such as you and your sister) are saying "don't look at our daughters' parts except if/when we say you can. And if we want you to look at our daughters we will let you know and perhaps even dress them for such eventuality. But in the mean time keep your eyes averted."

    Look, LexieK, girls like to be looked at. It's their nature. God make them that way. What you and others are trying to do is make them feel guilty over it. Or, perhaps turn them into some sort of zombies so they kill the God-given drive.

  • LexieK SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 4:18 p.m.

    @Miss Piggie: "Healthy sexuality for females" would be any sexual choices that are made on girls'/women's own informed terms - not based on unhealthy and objectifying pressure from outside forces seeking to make money off sexual ideals. When girls and women internalize media's objectified ideals that encourage women to see themselves from an outsider's perspective (as parts to be enjoyed, not free-thinking, contributing humans), that's when unhealthy choices are made - sexually, health-wise or otherwise. Young girls who self-objectify are shown to have decreased sexual assertiveness (including the ability to say no) and a variety of other unfortunate effects. I hope that answers your question.

  • Miss Piggie Tucson, AZ
    Sept. 19, 2011 3:23 p.m.

    @LexieK:

    "...there are so many more ways to take back beauty and healthy sexuality for females..."

    What, pray tell, is 'healthy sexuality for females?'

  • L Kaiser REDMOND, WA
    Sept. 19, 2011 2:36 p.m.

    I agree sensible middle, im a perfect example lol. First two years of college were not only an eye opener, my parents focused so much on avoiding places/things that would cause temptation, they never even thought to teach me more about what to do if these situations arise, in their minds it wasnt about dealing with the real world, it was to avoid it. However, it wasnt only unrealistic, but also a dangerous way to parent.

  • The Sensible Middle Bountiful, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 11:48 a.m.

    There are also consequences for a parent being too strict.

  • metamoracoug metamora, IL
    Sept. 19, 2011 11:45 a.m.

    My opinion is that if we're waiting until our children are teenagers to "have the talk" it's way too late. Self-worth starts the moment a child is conceived by parents who are active in loving, teaching, preparing, training, disciplining, and loving it.

    My wife and I just spent a week out of town, leaving our 16 yo and 13 yo daughters at home on their own. We were entirely unconcerned about them because they are able to cook, clean, and care for themselves and more importantly make wise choices because of years of preparation preceding this week of our absence. With flying colors, our daughters demonstrated that our trust in them is well founded. It is clear to me by the way they behave -- the choices they make -- that my daughters understand that their self-worth is not dependent on anyone else (including me) but entirely founded on the life they live.

  • Rifleman Salt Lake City, Utah
    Sept. 19, 2011 11:33 a.m.

    Re: LValfre | 8:30 a.m. Sept. 19, 2011

    Good parents teach their children values and then lead by example. Children who chose to listen to the wise council of loving parent are more apt to miss out on all the fun that comes with teen pregnancy and all the thrills and chills associated with the numerous and varied sexually transmitted diseases that are available just for the asking.

  • LValfre CHICAGO, IL
    Sept. 19, 2011 11:29 a.m.

    @Hawkyo

    "LValfre, Freewill requires an understanding of responsibility and consequences. Two things children have yet to learn how to handle. Letting them run free is the worst idea without giving them the guidelines and guardrails that will help them make healthy choices."

    I agree with you Hawkyo. They need to be guided along the right path. What I disagree with is what is that path. There are MANY paths to raising your children. Modesty, sometimes to a ridiculous degree, is out of hand in my opinion. What's wrong with a tank-top in the hot summer? Why should the shoulders be covered when it's blistering outside? Undergarments? I'm sorry but some things are just completely illogical and have no bearing on raising a kid correctly. What happened to putting on our bathing suits (more exposing than ANY clothing line) and playing on the slip and slide all day with the other kids?

  • man of few words Salt Lake City, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 11:23 a.m.

    Hawkyo

    I think you misunderstood what LValfre was trying to express (in an admittedly condescending way). Simply put, "teach correct principles and let them govern themselves."

    Obviously, as parents, we need to take into account not only the age, but also the maturity of each child when deciding how much responsibility they are ready for. This doesn't mean that we control our children, but rather that we guide and parent them.

    I do think, however, that consumers have more power than they realize. My money will not support a company (such as A &C) which is clearly using exploitative images in their advertising.

  • RAPMD WEST JORDAN, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 10:09 a.m.

    It is nice to see that people fear for their children and want to maintain their innocence. My concern is that when people like Muslims cover their hair in a sign of modesty they are labeled extremists, or why when a country like france bans conservative measures it is championed as "saving" women.

  • LValfre CHICAGO, IL
    Sept. 19, 2011 10:05 a.m.

    "There are so many ways to fight back against these harmful, so normalized ideals"

    Ummm ... native's have walked around 'mostly naked' for thousands of years. Are you saying they're being harmful to themselves and their society? Let's be real here .... these modest ways are YOUR beliefs. They're not harming anybody by showing a little more. Summers are hot! So what if someone wears a 2 piece bathing suit. You're blowing things WAY out of proportion.

    Young ones being pressed sexually? Not for it. Not for them being one of many wives at 14 years of age either! But deciding for them what is and isn't appropriate is absurd. You think God's looking down on Native Americans or Africans for not covering their shoulders? Please. Just some more man-made nonsense.

  • Hawkyo SYRACUSE, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 9:51 a.m.

    LValfre, Freewill requires an understanding of responsibility and consequences. Two things children have yet to learn how to handle. Letting them run free is the worst idea without giving them the guidelines and guardrails that will help them make healthy choices.

  • LexieK SALT LAKE CITY, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 9:28 a.m.

    Thank you to Collins for writing about this incredibly important subject! I am Lexie Kite, quoted in the story alongside my sister, Lindsay. There are so many ways to fight back against these harmful, so normalized ideals, and this is not a hopeless fight. For more ways to get on board right here in Utah or across the world, our Beauty Redefined website linked in Part 1 of this piece is a great start. Our Beauty Redefined billboard campaign began in Northern Utah but is going much further and there are so many more ways to take back beauty and healthy sexuality for females everywhere under our "How Girls and Women Can Take Back Beauty" and "How Boys and Men Can Help Take Back Beauty" posts!

  • ulvegaard Medical Lake, Washington
    Sept. 19, 2011 9:27 a.m.

    I have two young daughters - 7 and 4. I want them to grow up knowing that they are beautiful, not because they dress for sex, but because I tell them they are every day - and how they are so talented and so helpful, so wonderful. What was said earlier is true, more laws do little to help. Parents need to be parents and not "buds". They need to guide their children, not control them. They need to demonstrate through their own actions that life is simply about getting paid or getting laid (forgive my language). But children need to know that they are children of a loving heavenly father and that alone makes them of great worth, which should only be magnified by the love we give them. A child should never have to debase themselves to get attention or to feel wanted or appreciated.

  • Red Salt Lake City, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 8:45 a.m.

    Great article. Great points.

    Utah leads the world in plastic surgery. Everyone go look in the mirror. Start liking what you see! Help your kids like what they see in the mirror as well. Stop trying to "one up" everyone else because you are so insecure.

    Good job Reagan Advertising for helping get the word out. Keep it up. We all need to do what we can to stop supporting companies who are promoting promiscuity.

    Cunning marketing is helping to lower the standards even more. Stop listening to their lies.

    The power is within you.

  • JSB Sugar City, ID
    Sept. 19, 2011 8:41 a.m.

    "Momofsix" Perhaps a better way to keep filth out of the hands of children is not state "regulation" but through organized citizen's bocotts of businesses that sell this smut (even if they do cover the covers). If a business is loosing customers because of thier irresponsible business practices, they just miight stop selling this obscene filth. I know I'd join a boycott. Also, I'd refuse to purchase products of companies that sponsor filthy TV shows if I knew what these businesses were. Is there some kind of list of these businesses? Over the last 30+ years, the grocery store I shop at the most doesn't sell that stuff. They don't even sell beer. And they close on Sunday. That's being a responsible part of the community.

  • LValfre CHICAGO, IL
    Sept. 19, 2011 8:30 a.m.

    Although I see the wrong in some things, I really feel that some of this stuff is way overblown.

    As DaveRL said,

    1. Be a parent

    And as I say,

    2. Let your kids engage their free will (or agency for you Mormons)

    That's it. Do your fair job, they're going to do theirs. Don't scold them and destroy them over not following your rules to the T. I'd rather have a daughter dressing that way and still coming home every night than running away out of resentment. Let your kids be themselves ... just be a parent and guide them in the right direction. Sometimes .. you're not right! Be ready for that!

  • DaveRL OGDEN, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 7:21 a.m.

    As a parent of two son's, one fresh out of college and one soon to be graduating from high school I have applied a sure fire method for keeping my boys from offensive influences....be a parent.
    The last thing we need is another law, more government censorship (which will end up costing taxpayers) thrown upon us. Try being a responsible parent instead, pay attention to what your children read, listen to, watch on TV/computer and do not buy them the latest fad clothing just because some singer/personality wears it. I never let my boys wear the popular baggy, oversized, low hung pants, dye their hair, get piercings, watch offensive things on TV or online. I instead read to them, engaged in fun outdoor activities and encouraged them to pursue healthy endeavors. My oldest son works in the computer industry and my youngest just completed his first triathlon.
    If we as consumers and parents do not allow our children to watch, buy, use products, services, encourage certain types of marketing that are bad for our kids, they will go away as their market share dies. Be a parent, don't expect the government to do it for you.

  • raybies Layton, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 7:00 a.m.

    I thought this was a decent article about the challenges parents face raising kids in this time. The aspect about unintended consequences of deregulating toy companies advertising was very interesting and how that leads to bullying. It's interesting also to note that many schools now train children about bullying--something that didn't happen when I was in school.

    Society needs women to take a lead role in how they want to be defined. So many women defer to what men want women to be, but men are pretty much conditioned to think of women in the simplest ways possible. Even without the media, young men need special training to learn simple matters like how if you like a girl you don't insult her, or pull her pigtails... Women (and men who are willing to model good behaviors) need to step up and face these negative stereotypes.

    Finally young girls receive a lot of negative messages about their intelligence and need strong counter examples to the society's tendency to making girls nothing but hysterical, screaming fans of Justin Beiber. Consider if they were encouraged to be that excited about doing mathematics?

  • MyChildrensKeeper Taylorsville, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 4:42 a.m.

    Being a man and a father of a daughter this subject has always been a pet peeve of mine and why government allows children to be exploited by advertisers to sell products and wrongful self esteem to girls and boys. I'm glad this is being recognized as a serious problem and this mother is taking action.

    And I think she needs to target mothers that allows their children to act, behave, and dress like sex objects. I know there is inherent genetic processes developing in children for the sole purpose of attracting mates but children must be trained to repress these emotions until they can better understand the birds and the bees and life.

    Even some so galled G rated family programing on television is misleading and exploiting children. I have seen many mothers who approve of these young girls and training them to use sexuality to exploit themselves for wrongful reasons.

    The way some young girls dress and behave you can't tell a 20 year old from a 12 year old. If men ever speak up on this subject they are given little credation or recognition in helping to solve this exploiting of children.

  • L Kaiser REDMOND, WA
    Sept. 19, 2011 3:59 a.m.

    Mom of six, Im not sure about Utah, but in WA it is regulated like tobacco and alcohol. Pornographic magazines not only require 18 year age ID but also must have the front covered on display or out of site at conveneinces stores so patrons who do not want to see the images are not forced too. Stores that are for primarily explicit materials will instantly ID anyone who walks in the door, sleazy "gentlemens clubs" also ID everyone. I dont think its lack of regulation, its the vast difference in opinion as to what constitutes objectionable materials. The real question is where the line is between objectionable material and unobjectionable is, for some its showing a midriff, above the knees shorts/skirts or tank tops, others its nothing being worn at all. Society as a whole seems to think its the latter, as thats what IS regulated. Check it out, I think you'll find Utah regulates pornography quite well.

  • silex Sa, ca
    Sept. 19, 2011 2:20 a.m.

    Eight pages and not a single mention of preparing oneself to be a wife and mother. Being a mother is the most important thing a woman will do in her lifetime. Trying to foster self-esteem and a wholesome image of oneself is just empty rhetoric without reference to motherhood.

    Underlying the sexualization of children is the disengagement of sex from reproduction. Parents, schools, and public health officials do not talk about motherhood - the natural consequence of sexual intercourse - but instead concentrate their efforts on making sure that their girls are "safe" sex partners. Pregnancy is treated like a venereal disease, not a woman's fulfillment. If we devalue childbearing and motherhood we devalue our girls and you can't fight that by monitoring TV.

  • Enough is enough! Saint George, UT
    Sept. 19, 2011 1:35 a.m.

    Sorry, quite = quit.

  • awsomeron1 Oahu, HI
    Sept. 19, 2011 12:53 a.m.

    Sexualizing or Sexualization means that kids know and act on what they think know.

    In this case they know or think thay know about sex. In short they know what we don't want them to know. I Internet displaces urban myth.

    I would keep my child out of the B & G Club for that reason. My Son went twice got bored and spent more time at home. His sister was never interested. I paid hoping he would waste my money and he did.

    At 14 I bought him a Bus Pass and a Cell and said bye. he still stayed mostly home. He joined a good High School Drama Club. I sent him to keep an eye on his sister after a wwhile she quit but he stayed for 4 years.

    Teenagers have a lot of free will and some will do things others won't. Up bringing and Religion have little to do with that. Teaching Self Respect does have a lot to do with it. Kids want what they consider to be fun.

    Fun is different to almost everyone. Still good kids regardless, situation is bad kids are not bad till way latter on.

  • Mom of Six Northern Utah, UT
    Sept. 18, 2011 11:37 p.m.

    We regulate cigarettes and alcohol in this country especially when it comes to those who aren't of age. Why can't we regulate sexual ads and porn the same way? Although one harms the physical body, the other harms the psyche. Both are damaging.

  • HenrySoCal REDLANDS, CA
    Sept. 18, 2011 11:16 p.m.

    I highly recommend that every older teen, and parents of teens, should read a compelling book on this subject: A Return to Modesty, by Wendy Shalit.

    A separate point, which is not directly related to that book, is how ironic it is that all the objectification/sexualization of women that is being done in the name of "freedom of expression" is actually undoing all the progress that has been made on granting equal rights and freedom for women.