I haven't read all of the comments, but feel I should respond before I read too
many. I have had three of the greatest bishops in the world and believe it or
not, none of the three fulfilled a mission. It was circumstances that prevented
it, personal and family. The point was that all lived so that they were worthy
to go on a mission. This is the advise I give to my grandsons, go because you
want to, not because there is peer or family pressure, but always be worthy.
They are better for it.Jimmer can do a lot of good by speaking at
firesides etc. I know some of you don't think it the same but actions speak
louder than words. Aren't we all missionaries for whatever faith we share, by
how we treat our fellow men?
man of few words"Marriage is not a one-time decision. It's a
lifetime of decisions. It's how you choose to communicate, show affection,
prioritize every day. It's not just 'finding the one.'... Being unselfish is the
secret to any healthy and happy relationship."That was
beautifully expressed and right on target. Thank you for that.
Marriage is not a one-time decision. It's a lifetime of decisions. It's how you
choose to communicate, show affection, prioritize every day. It's not just
"finding the one." As others have stated, the concern of
the leadership of the Church is not that we get these boys and girls married off
by a certain age, but rather the trend in society to put off marriage in favor
of more money, status, prestige etc. That is what those talks cited speak to.
Members are expected to think out their decisions and then go to the
Lord in prayer. The Church is not to blame if someone fails to do that or they
or their spouse fail to put in the time and effort required to maintain and
build a healthy marriage. Plenty of folks who married young have been successful
and plenty of folks who married later have failed. Age is not the secret. Being
unselfish is the secret to any healthy and happy relationship.
Eddie Would Go Katiebugg didn't say that"whopping" 40%.
She called you on you sarcasm and skewing of what another posted had written.
And here you are doing the same thing to her. At least you are consistent ...
that's ... something, I guess.
Katiebugg,As a lifelong Mormon, I find it interesting that in a
state where the majority of the population is LDS that the divorce rate is right
at the national average.Of course I don't think that "only the
Mormons are getting divorced." That is no more feasible than saying that
it is only the non-Mormons getting divorces in Utah. But a critical look at the
numbers suggests that Mormons are getting divorced a lot more than many of us
would like to admit.Oh, and if 40% non-Mormon counts as
"whopping," then we all need to acknowledge that there are 49 states
with a more whopping percentage of non-LDS citizens.To quote Inigo
Montoya, regarding "whopping." "That word - I do believe it
means what you think it means."
Eddie Would GoWhen did In Stitches ever imply that it was the 40%
non-Mormons in the state getting the divorces?! He merely refuted
someone's statement that Utah had high divorce rates with the fact that Utah is
right in the middle.When you weirdly accused him of
"bragging" about that and implied that because 60% are Mormon Utah
should have low divorce rates, he used the statistics you provided to point out
that nearly 1/2 the folks in this state are not LDS: "While 60% are LDS,
there are a whopping 40% in Utah who aren't. You don't seriously think it's only
the Mormons getting divorced do you?"He NEVER said it was only
the non-Mormons getting divorced. He only pointed out the obvious flaws in your
statements. No spin -- just logic.
"Why do we, including LDS, worship professional athletes?"In Arizona: I'm sure the vast majority do not "worship" professional
athletes. Some of us happen to find enjoyment with athletics, and some of us
don't. You happen to be one who doesn't. I wonder what "temporal"
thing(s) you worship.
It's been a while since I reviewed Utah marriage stats, but when you look at the
county-by-county breakdown, the divorces are, in fact, occurring much more
frequently in the counties with the highest percentage of non-LDS residents. In
a more nuanced view, the advantage of temple marriage seems obvious. Utah
may be "in the middle" of the entire US statistical comparison, but is
much lower than surrounding states. I have no statistics, but having served a
mission recently in the east, I'd note this: Almost every "couple"
baptized had to be married first, and about half had to get a divorce from a
long-departed spouse before they could marry. Thus, the divorce rate is skewed
by 1) the lack of marriage, and 2)the lack of divorce. In a rather odd twist,
the fact that marriage is taken more seriously in the west means the divorce
stats are not really comparable.
Unfortunately, not all young Latter Day Saint men are making Jimmer's salary.Therefore, I think it's quite sad that many young LDS men are getting
pressured to get married.My daughter, three years ago, was asked by a
young returned missionary to marry him. She did, thinking he was willing to work
hard, even though at the time, he was not gainfully employed. It turned-out he
felt needed to check-off the temple marriage box on his check-off list. Then, he
became a dead beat husband. After two years of sitting on his keester, and never
truly looking for a job, my wise and courageous daughter called it quits. Thank
goodness she didn't take his suggestion to have a baby. Then, she would have had
to deal with that added burden.All you young women in the church, beware
of the checklist marriage proposals.
I am excited for Jimmer's up coming wedding to his sweetheart. They look so
great together. They are both very fortunate.I think we will soon
discover that Jimmer is just starting his mission. I am excited to see how he
does. And the fact that he gets to pick his companion is a great way to go. I
wish them both well.As for marrying young, like 22, I think that is
a great idea, especially if you already know who you want to be with, as Jimmer
did. That way you can enjoy life together while you are young. Best of success
to you two.
"In Arizona | 9:23 p.m. Aug. 30, 2011 Mesa, AZWhy do we,
including LDS, worship professional athletes?"Sadly in many LDS
circles Athletes like Jimmer and radio talk show hosts like Glen Beck take up
more of people's time than reading scripture or listening to conference talks.
Who are you really devoting your time too? Are you pondering the scriptures and
acting as The Saviour would or are you letting radio talk show hosts and
athletes think for you?
Why do we, including LDS, worship professional athletes?
"Ted H. | 11:59 a.m. Aug. 30, 2011 Midvale, UTTo Ute Trolls who
undoubtedly were going to throw out the mission thing:"No, it
isn't coming from Ute fans, this is from the same people that support your local
favorite 3 letter blue school down south as well. Trying to pin this on the
rival school is weak. People that badger others to go on missions whether they
are ready or not are from all schools.I am not going to defend
Jimmer but his decision not to go is his. There are much better role LDS models
than a person who is good at throwing a round ball through a round hoop.
Don't care if Jimmer is an RM, or married young.Don't care if a rag
in Sacremento wants to make an issue of it.The guy had unbelievable
"Whopping 40%?"Are you suggesting that the "whopping
40%" are getting all of the divorces in the Great State of Utah?Like you, I don't believe in exaggerating the facts. But I don't believing in
spinning them either.
Who's bragging. LValfre was exaggerating the facts as a back-handed slam on the
LDS Church. While 60% are LDS, there are a whopping 40% in Utah who aren't. You
don't seriously think it's only the Mormons getting divorced do you?
I got married when I was 22 and it's worked out fine for me. It's not for
everyone, each individual must do what he/she thinks is right."In my view, Jimmer has already done more positive for the church than
10,000 missionaries. That's just one man's opinion."Tom in CA.Definately not my opinion. Not to put down Jimmer's positive influence
on Sportscenter, but give me the work-in-the-trenches, service-minded,
individual seeking 10,000 every time.
Let me start by saying that I am impressed with Jimmer. He is an exceptional
athlete, and seems to be extremely likable.I know you many of you
are going to beat me up for this, but here goes.Correct me if I'm
wrong, but BYU's top 2 basketball players are Ainge and Fredette. Neither went
on missions.It's harder to name the top football players, but Young,
McMahon, Detmer certainly are on the short list. If all goes as planned, Heaps
may be listed among these elite athletes. None went or are going on missions.Yes, I know that McMahon isn't LDS, and that Detmer wasn't when he
enrolled at BYU. But you've got to admit, it's interesting!--------------In Stitches, according to wikipedia, "Utah is
the most religiously homogeneous state in the Union. Approximately 60% of Utahns
are reported to be members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints
(LDS Church), which greatly influences Utah culture and daily life." With this in mind, should we really brag about Utah's divorce rate being
near the nations average?
I don't recall the details of Jimmer's contract with the Kings (Maybe still
being pounded out) - but I think the max they could pay is about $ 9 million per
year in each of his first six years. Frankly - I don't see how
young couples get married today at 22 without an NBA contract.
I hate to correct LValfre with actual facts ... He/she states "And you
wonder why there's such high divorce rates in Utah?" Utah ranks 23rd in
divorce rates. That's in the middle, Buddy. But nice try.
Strange headline. If everyone was like Jimmer, no one would serve missions.
I did the traditional marry young thing and had three great kids. Then one day
my wife decided she wanted to get a divorce and bam, that was that. Fifteen
years later, as much as I love and respect the brethren, I would be very
concerned if one of my kids married young unless they had dated the persona for
an extended period of time. Just my thoughts as a scorned and bitter old man.
Read President Monson's quote again and you will find that there is literally
nothing there that says you must marry immediately. Longevity marriages last
because once the emfactuation wears off (usually within 5 years) what do you
have. Love lasts just so long until you actually become friends with your
spouse.President Monson states eligible males/females. He doesn't
cite an age or when. If you look at the oriental lifestyle for years. Women
were to be married by the time they hit 21. If they married after that they
were really frowned down upon. My wife was 25 when we married. Today she is my
best friend, my confidant and soul mate. We've had our troubles but our temple
marriage has held us together because we know the meaning of eternal
marriage.I love when someone takes that out of context. Love will
come and those who are looking for a mate will know when they have found the
right one. I did and I know thousands others have. In a temple marriage there
is no pre-nup agreement. Too me that is a selfish one sided affair. Marriage
is for eternity, not just this life.
Hubble65 had a good message. I thought I would add to that the advice of my
mission president: Don't get married too quickly because its usually hormones
and don't wait too long --- the longer you wait the longer your list of
requirements for the "ideal" companion becomes until you get to the
point that such a person doesn't exist . . . . and if they did, they wouldn't
marry you.Church leaders aren't trying to push young men into
marriage before they are ready, they are trying to alter the trend of people
waiting way too long for selfish desires before they even consider it. A lot of
things are taken out of context.
Getting married young is NOT for everyone, I don't care how pretty the girl is.
You have to be ready for marriage mentally, emotionally and spiritually or you
will end up being a divorced 24 year old. There are many superior LDS role
models to Jimmer I would show my kids before a guy whose claim to fame is
Leave the young man alone and stop the phony inductive logic about theology and
societal trends. He's in love and wants to marry a nice woman in the proper way.
What's not to like about that?
I've decided LValfre has surpassed Pagan in entertainment value.
Especially if they can hot a 30 ft. jumper.
There is more than one way to serve a mission. In my view, Jimmer has already
done more positive for the church than 10,000 missionaries. That's just one
man's opinion. "Playing a girls sport is not the way to get
through life." Dektol - how is this statement relevant to the article?? You
must have been a wrestler - and a good one too, huh?
Getting married at 22 is too early, especially if you are an RM. There are so
many things you can do when you are single you can't do when you are married.
You can study abroad, travel whenever at a moment's notice, eat whatever you
want, live or attend school where you want, get a job where you want, etc. When
a spouse is involved, she then has a say and you're much more limited in things
to do and places to go. I'm married and it's great, but the freedom to do all
those things I mentioned is greatly diminished. I married in my late 20's and
so glad I did. I see these RM's getting married at 21 and am not jealous at all
because they won't have the freedom to do the things you could do if you were
single.You have forever to be married. Take a few years and have
fun. Marriage is important, but you don't have to be married so fast. Long
courtship, quick engagement. That is the main advice from the brethren. I
followed it and it worked. I still had a lot of fun before then.
Best advice on marriage came from my Mission President. At the end of my mission
I was the last one he interviewed that was going home and we had a wonderful
time together, taking longer than most. My mission president had become a
father figure to me since I had lost my father at 17. Toward the end of the
interview, he sat back, looked me in the eye, and said "Elder, you want to
know when you need to get married after getting home?" I nodded expecting
to hear within the year which was the common advice back in the early 80's.
Instead he shocked me and said "Elder, when you go home and meet a find LDS
girl who you fall in love with, that is when you ask her to marry and get
married. Not before, not after, but when you fall in love. You'll know when that
is." No time commitment, no rush, the same advice I give my adult children
now, when your in love, that's when you get married.
Jimmer is a great guy I'm sure. He didn't go on a mission for his reasons that
only he knows. I do know that there are great athletes that served missions but
more great athletes did not serve missions. Basketball and baseball are more
difficult sports to take off two years and still be effective. Jimmer can do
more good by remaining a great example. I for one probably won't attend any of
his fireside meetings but don't care if my kids or anyone else does.
Sorry. But neither the Church nor even the Sac Bee article itself includes the
comment "LDS Church wants young men to be like Jimmer." The Sac Bee
article is titled "Mormon men waiting longer to marry, worrying church
officials." Even if you read the DN article itself, Joseph Walker doesn't
have this statement listed as well in the body of his article. So, the real
question is where did the title of this article come from becaue it's not
"quoted" in either articles? Suffice it to say the "Church",
nor any Gen'l leader ever encourage YM to "be like Jimmer." As good of
an example as he seems to be (and I'm a HUGE Jimmer fan!), the reality is he
didn't serve a mission. I liked the earlier post by a reader who included Pres.
Kimball's comment about "Yes. Every young man should fill a mission."
Let me add to that the comment from Pres. Benson that education, sports, and
"yes, even temple marriage" should be deffered until after a mission.
With that being said, I hope Jimmer takes Sac-town by storm and succeeds!!
Marriage is something that needs to happen by faith. You cannot calculate the
perfect companion out - you need to let the Lord lead you to that companion. You
also need to be willing to live with a less than perfect companion from the
start. Expect commitment to the Gospel, do your part to be committed, the rest
will come. Bad things happen in LDS marriages when faith thins out and we forget
the vision of eternity. Then we get laughed at for marrying young, having a lot
of children, etc, and rightfully so. We cannot do heavenly things with a worldly
This is a really weird article, if I'm allowed to point this out. It's
really about two things:1. Jimmer's getting married at age 22, which
is young by the world's standards... 2. That the LDS church expects
young men to marry and start contributing to their own family life--and not
delay that responsibility for a career, or to experiment sexually. Both are interesting topics, but the attempt to make Jimmer the rolemodel of
LDS youth, is a bit mangled. To #1. I say: "Way to go Jimmer!
Congratulations! Good for you in avoiding the nonsense the world spouts about
needing to play the field. May you have many years of happiness together with
your beloved." To #2: The world would be a much better place if
Marriage and Family were a priority. The root of most of the evils that plague
our society can find at least some contribution to it because of our disregard
for the sanctity of life's most sacred relationship a man and woman can form,
and the safe harbor that it provides for creating a family. The
world's attitude that one must experiment sexually also leads to marital
infidelity and family disintegration.
This is the trend of the Athletic department to give mission's and those who
serve mission's a wink and a nod. The return missionaries organize the pre-game
firesides conduct the service, set the stage for Heaps to tell the eager crowd
how he has always wanted to be a quarter back...This sales pitch
works currently 50% of elligable mission age youngmen are choosing not to serve
full time mission calls. Just one of those things that make you go
I love Jimmer. He certainly seems to be someone that LDS youth can look up to.
He has already caused more people to be aware of the Church in one way or
another than 100 full-time missionaries.A few points:1.
My understanding from my legal colleagues practicing in Utah County is that
long-term temple married couples have a very low rate of divorce. But young LDS
couples divorce much more frequently than we would assume - helping keep Utah's
rate about average.2. I believe one reason that young LDS couples
divorce at a fairly high rate is the push to marry fast, marry young, and
interpret every natural emotion (butterflies) as the Holy Ghost witnessing that
he or she is the One.3. Jimmer may be marrying at a relatively young
age. But he has been at BYU for 4 years and has been dating his fiance for
several months. So in that regard, I wish the Church would encourage our youth
to be more like Jimmer!4. I know it is not exactly what President
Monson counseled. But LDS youth need to SLOW DOWN, date several different
people, and experience some of life before marriage.
I hope my son goes on a mission, something Jimmer didn't do. But other than that
he's a great young kid and a good example. Not the model byu athlete but close.
keep it up son!
Enjoying your adolescence, and delaying marriage until you're older, wiser, and
more mature is a good idea! There is nothing wrong with figuring out what you
need in a relationship and how to differentiate a compatible partner from
someone who isn't compatible. Finish your education and/or forge a career that
can support you and a family for the rest of your life. That will provide more
family security and avoid money conflicts. Live on your own as a single person
and learn how to pay bills, balance your checkbook, save money, and become
self-sufficient and independent. Learn how to be alone without being lonely, and
how to be happy single. Don't marry anyone until you have matured. Date a
variety of people, but do not marry anyone until you have matured. Don't marry
until/unless you're fairly sure that you are compatible and could sustain a
happy marriage. Relax and give yourself time to get to know one another well.
Don't jump into marriage after only a short time knowing each other. Why does the LDS Church seem to not think this is good advice and seems to
push early marriage before maturity in many life aspects is_more_established?
A couple of observations:1 - It is a dangerous thing to prop someone
up on a pedestal(especially when they are so young!) There are many paths in
life and mistakes are common. Heaven knows I have made a few. 2 -
In response to a snarky comment from our chicago friend: Utah's divorce rates
are actually right at the national average. There is some debate about those
marriages performed in the LDS temples. However, Utah also has the fourth
highest rate of marriage and a very low share of divorced individuals. It is
ignorant to assign causation without fully identifying all the correlating
factors and the weight or influence each factor has on the observed
Re: Axe-man-- I completely agree with you. Dear DN Editors (don't pin this on
the writers-- either the Sac Bee writer or Joseph Walker), please,
please properly title an article. DN Editors are brutal in misleading
readers with titles of varios articles. Re: Defibman is correct--
it's "embarrassing the State." The Sac Bee article has this quote:
"Church leaders want other Mormon men to follow his
(Jimmer's) lead and not that of the nation as a whole" in
marrying at a younger age. DN Editors, where did you get "LDS
Church wants young men to be like Jimmer"? That's not correct.
As good of an example as Jimmer is, and I'm a HUGE Jimmer fan, he
never served a mission. IF he had served a mission and is now getting
married at this relatively "young age" then I believe the
Church WOULD want YM to be like Jimmer. I don't want my 3 younger
sons to "be like Jimmer." I wanted them to be like their
older brother who served a faithful, honorable mission. Come on, DN
@Mom of 2LOL, all should be like Jimmer. He is the model man.
I think the posters need to realize that this particular reporter is the only
one who has make the statement that the LDS Church wants young men to be like
Jimmer. The LDS Church has NEVER made this statement. The General Authorities
have simply reiterated the importance of marriage in the plan. So, please stop
responding like it was some official statement by the Church!
As a ward Public Affairs rep these are the articles that the Church Kills for.
Jimmer is a great poster boy for promoting the LDS lifesyle. However, he is the
exception rather than the rule. There is a world of difference between getting
married in you mid to late 20s as opposed to tying the know at 22. As in Brain
development and maturity. Yes Jimmer is financially secure, but the Church's
rank and file Marty and Molly Mormons are not so financially secure. Also the 12
foot Elephant in the room that nobody wants to talk about. Some people just
don't get the gospel...
Read the ORIGINAL article! It's actually better than the D-news' version.Jimmer is just mentioned briefly as a "famous mormon" example;
the rest of it is actually quite interesting.
Sorry, not all of us can look like his fiancee Whitney or we might have been
married super young too!
The DN needs a lot of work on their headlines. Please,,,,do you even read the
article before posting a headline to it? Stop embarrassing the State.
And you wonder why there's such high divorce rates in Utah? Pushing these kids
(yes, you are barely an adult at 21 years of age) to hurry up and get marries is
ludicrous. Not only are they barely mature yet, but they don't even know what
they want. This is just an LDS push to quickly create more LDS babies. They
emphasize for you to marry young and have big LDS families ...
What did Jimmer have for dinner last night? That's what I'm really interested
in. And be sure to alert me the next time he blows his nose.
He is a basketball player, not a wrestler. Playing a girls sport is not the way
to get through life. Better take up an Individual Sport, not something where you
have to rely on others to get you through.
John Charity Spring says: "Far too many are putting off
marriage for far too long. This is having a negative impact on society.The vast majority of people in their 20s refuse to grow up and accept
responsiblity. Instead, they are content to waste their lives away by watching
reality television, playing video games, and chatting on Facebook."===Isn't that really a result of the way they were raised?
I do agree with you that they need to grow up, but their parents are enabling
""there is a point at which it's time to think seriously about
marriage and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend eternity,"
adding that "if you choose wisely and are committed to the success of your
marriage, there is nothing in this life which will bring you greater
happiness."---While I realize that Monson was
speaking to heterosexuals, this advice applies equally to all forms of marriage
and is actually quite good advice.In asking young LDS to be like
Jimmer, are they now permitting "work" on Sundays? You know, just
like Steve Young, Jimmer is going to have to play Sunday games now.
Wow, talk about a ridiculously misleading title...
No one is wishing for anything. Church leaders have admonished young men of
marriageable age that "there is a point at which it's time to think
seriously about marriage and to seek a companion with whom you want to spend
eternity," and "don't waste time in idle pursuits. Get on with life
and focus on getting married. Don't just coast through this period of
life."The request that every able young man prepare for a
mission and then serve is every bit the same as it has been. Some young men
choose not to. This article is just about marriage and does not mention the
words mission or missionary. Some people judge those who don't serve missions
but it is not our place to do that.
Far too many are putting off marriage for far too long. This is having a
negative impact on society.The vast majority of people in their 20s
refuse to grow up and accept responsiblity. Instead, they are content to waste
their lives away by watching reality television, playing video games, and
chatting on Facebook.It is time for these slothful servants to
abandon these childish pursuits. Society needs them to settle down, get married,
and become productive members of the community. That is what made America the
greatest country on Earth, and that is what is needed to keep it great.With that being said, Jimmer should not be emulated in his choice of careers.
The NBA is little more than a thinly disguised den of iniquity in which
substance abuse and adultery run rampant. Hopefully, Jimmer will be one of the
few who reject the marriage-destroying NBA lifestyle.
I knew these types of "what about the mission" comment would pop up.
Please people, let's be mature and wise. Jimmer isn't perfect and neither are
any of us. But he is making a great choice in getting married. It will be the
best thing that he could do to keep him balanced as his life turns crazy with
fame and money. Let's all root for Jimmer's success. He is a great
guy who is doing his best.
Guys, a reporter said the LDS Church wants young men to be like Jimmer - the LDS
Church didn't say they want young men to be like Jimmer. The reporter picked out
the "early marriage" of a man of 22, compared to the rest of the
nation's trends, and said "that's what the LDS Church wants." The
Church, and the Lord, want every worthy young man to serve a mission, and as
follow-up, that if they're not worthy, they should get that way, and serve a
mission.While many in the Church admire Jimmer's physical abilities,
no leaders of the Church are suggesting that Jimmer is a type or example that
should be one's goal of who and how to be.
To Ute Trolls who undoubtedly were going to throw out the mission thing:1) The First Presidency didn't say "Be like Jimmer." The
Sacramento Bee said Jimmer is a good example for Mormons.2) It would
have been great to see Jimmer as a missionary, but please remind me where
Heisman Harvey Langi served? Oh that's right, he's still thinking about it. I
wonder if he'll get crucified if Harvey doesn't go. Or does someone seriously
think a Mormon Ute doesn't represent the Church and gets to hide behind the
red?3) Jimmer all in all seems like a great guy. Continue to bash
him for not going on a mission, but from what I see he is a good guy and YES it
would be great if all LDS grew up to be great and kind people like he truly
seems to be.4) I'm glad Jimmer continues to bother you.
Jimmer married "young" compared to whom? LDS men who served missions
don't even get home until they are 21. Jimmer didn't have that stopping him from
marrying even younger.I think it is really a problem that the Church
teaches so much about "example". The tacit message in the idea of
"follow good examples" or "be a good example" is the idea
that you should do something because someone else is doing or has done it.That is never a good reason for doing anything, except maybe running out
of a burning building. Even then, think for yourselves. The doctrine of examples
Be careful what you wish for...Young men to be like Jimmer might
just take the advice and get married which is what the church wants but they
also might look at go....hey...Jimmer didn't serve a mission so I don't need
to.Once again...Be careful what you wish for!
"LDS Church wants young men to be like Jimmer?" What, like choose not
to serve a mission? Okay. I'm not trying to judge his circumstances, but
wouldn't the church want young men to serve missions, then get married?
"if you choose wisely and are committed to the success of your marriage,
there is nothing in this life which will bring you greater happiness."Amen to that.