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Comments about ‘Facebook is a breeding ground for accidental affairs’

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Published: Monday, July 18 2011 11:45 a.m. MDT

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JohnJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt
Beverly Hills, CA

LOL, there are no such things as accidental affairs. A series of choices need to be made to create the problem. This isn't like a car accident.

juni4ling
Somewhere in Colorado, CO

There is *zero* truth to the headline: accidental affair.

Oh, woops, honey, I slipped and fell, and accidentally had an affair before I hit the floor.

Or,

"Who put the shoe on the stairs. I tripped, broke my ankle, and had an accidental affair on the way to the hospital..."

JohnJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt
Beverly Hills, CA

People who are going to cheat will find ways, Facebook is just another outlet.

Old fashioned Ways of looking:
Bars
Chat rooms
Classifieds
Online dating services
Hot tubs with people from your church

ClarkKent
Bountiful, Utah

Yeah let's find something else to blame poor choices on, instead of owing up to it and taking full responsibility. Now its Facebook. Why try to make excuses for people? All that does is delay change.

Southern
Laveen, AZ

Note to report: The PR Newswire is not a news source; it is a press release aggregation. Therefore I believe your statement "It starts with addressing the motives behind joining social networks in the first place, PR News Channel reported" is off. No reporting involved. It is a paid service where anyone can publish their own press release.

VocalLocal
Salt Lake, UT

I have to wonder if people bemoaned the immoral influences of cars, telephones or a host of other technologies that allow people to meet other people. Personally I've heard of more affairs that started from interaction in church callings than Facebook.

TOO
Sanpete, UT

This reminds me of something my dad told me before college:

"Don't come home telling me the Doctor told you that you were in love."

Affairs are premeditated. You don't all of a sudden show up to somebody's house and cheat on your spouse.

MoJules
Florissant, MO

First of all they say in the article "accidental affairs", quotation marks are a form of questioning or saying, right and not believing it. I was a first generation chat group person, and back in 1995 people were having affairs, I knew a guy who lost his wife to internet chat. I know someone who found her old boyfriend and divorced her husband and married this guy. Facebook can be a source of good, or something very destructive, I use it to post about indexing and am not a friend collector.

A voice of Reason
Salt Lake City, UT

To JohnJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt:

"His name is my name, too. Whenever we go out, the people always shout..."
I couldn't resist!

---

"People who are going to cheat will find ways"

Amen to that! At least the end of the article does this point some justice.

The Authority
Richfield, UT

It is certainly a problem. Even if it doesn't lead to an affair, it does lead to long term hurt in a relationship, and the spouse always doubting their wife or husband.

tom2
Jerome, ID

I must take exception to the last quote. It is not the 'loss of love in your marriage'. It is the loss of commitment to your spouse. In my humble opinion, there are far too many people who give up when the excitement is gone, because they don't understand the beauty of a commitment and the power in a covenant.

Shawnm750
West Jordan, UT

I totally agree with the end of this article. For anyone familiar with Erin Stewart's blog on this site, I'm sure John Charity Spring feels totally validated by the first part of this article. But, as it points out in the end, facebook is merely a medium of communication. In the end, it's the people having the affair that decided to abandon their marital commitments. As with any technological advancement, you know that the potential for good comes the potential for bad as well.

lsteinbentley
South Jordan, UT

I totally agree with tom2!

And to anyone out there that thinks the grass is greener on the other side, your wrong. I have been divorced and there is no perfect partner or marriage. You are just trading one set of challenges/problems for a different set. If you are having problems in your marriage, recommit yourselves and put your spouse's needs first, and then there will be no reason for a divorce. If you have children, they are the ones who truly suffer from a divorce, please remember that.
I am not trying to preach, I just wanted to pass on what I have learned.

Another Perspective
Bountiful, UT

Don't blame facebook. Blame cold or seldom available husbands or wives.

jill17
Salt Lake City, UT

I think by accidenal it means they didn join facebook, or add their old flame with the intention to cheat, but the it did happen because of poor choices made by two people. Whereas heading to a strip club or bar is a much more intentional choice done on purpoe than joining facebook. Although in the end it is a choice to cheat, facebook can be like the toad in hot water who doesn't notice the pot starting to boil. Anyway, I didn't take issue with the headline or article, except the last line bugged me, because I think that's where we al have real responsibility. We are responsible for the loss of love in our marriage. We choose to love and serve, or we choose to not. A loss of love doesn't just happen. Love is a pactice, not a feeling.

Ernest T. Bass
Bountiful, UT

For all the discussion of men having "problems" with porn, it's a fact that more women have affairs from visiting internet chat rooms & social networking sites, than men do from viewing porn.
This needs more discussion than it gets.

racer25
Cedar Hills, UT

From personal experience, Facebook facilitated an opportunity to meet where I was unwilling to make the effort prior. It was too easy. THEN, came the personal choices which were very clear along the way - compromising values I would have never compromised before.
We put two families at risk with a total of 10 kids. In the end, 2 years later, I stayed with my family, she divorced and remarried.
The damage was horrible and is still felt.
Cheating hurts everyone. I still use Facebook, but passwords are shared and chat is turned off.
Like a gun makes killing someone easier than other means, it's the person who kills.
Facebook makes meeting people easy - but it's the person or people who cheat.

Monsieur le prof
Sandy, UT

Someone once said that we lock doors not only to keep out burlgars, but to keep honest people honest by taking temptation out of the way. I agree with racer25 in that Facebook is facilitating and making easy that which was difficult before.

As with almost every new invention, Facebook is a double-edged sword. It can be very useful and fun, or it can be extremely dangerous.

oldschoolguy
OREM, UT

With regards to the PR News Channel comment, this is the type of "article" we see more and more of in the Deseret News. What used to be considered an amateur blog post is now being past off as professional journalism. There is no original reporting, or fact-checking going on here. A "reporter" sits at a desk and searches the internet for some related news and then cuts and pastes with out any fact-checking or original quotes from their own sources.

toshi1066
OGDEN, UT

Seriously? Facebook? Like people never met in pre-internet days at grocery stores, bars, office buldings...

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