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Elder Holland's powerful new Mormon Message on pornography cautions men to 'Watch Your Step'

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  • britishracecaller cleveland, OH
    Dec. 3, 2013 7:02 a.m.

    I see the issue differently. Porn, at the v.least is a manifestation that part of ones life is not a quality experience. Sex between married people should be intimate and addressing the desires and needs of each other. As long as that is consensual and between of age adults, the LDS Church has no business in their bedroom. Though does anyone remember the 1982 First Presidency letter regarding oral sex as an impure and unholy practice? It was quickly forgotten and discarded. Clearly not inspired counsel!

    Here is a thought...there are 168 hours per week. Assuming a full time job, forty hours is worked...If you have kids (say) five hours per day looking after them is 35 per week, 56 hours for sleep, full church activity, minmum of twelve hours per week, perhaps... that leaves 29 hours for running the household, chores, shopping, socializing, visiting family and sexual intimacy.

    Perhaps if the Church asked for a little less time and commitment from its members, they could use some of that time to share deeper intimacy. Ten or so hours a week of fulfilling and mutually satisfying intimacy would go a long way at cutting down porn usage,

  • A voice of Reason Salt Lake City, UT
    July 21, 2011 12:26 p.m.

    agentuntomyself:

    I could not possibly agree more with every last comment you've made.

    The critic counter-arguments to your posts have been off-point with numerous examples.

    1) "Not all truth is supported by scientific studies. If you restrict yourself to empirical evidence as the only acceptable [epistemology], you will miss out on other ways of knowing that are equally valid."

    Science generally only uses inductive reasoning. If it rained the last 20 years, it will next year. This is only probably, not actual. Probability has its worth for making decisions, but is not definite and should never be the only source of information. Empirical evidence is only as accurate as the observer accounts for it, another problem.

    ---

    "why would someone who doesn't believe anything that the church teaches call themselves a Mormon?"

    This and your latest comment- Again, I agree completely! Many people on here literally say "I'm Mormon, but the church is wrong on every point they stand for" - There are obviously logistical problems there. In fact, I think it's a growing trend and worth addressing very seriously. I'm even creating a blog to intellectually discuss LDS/political issues just because of those types of comments.

  • agentuntomyself PROVO, UT
    July 20, 2011 4:57 p.m.

    @southmtnman
    You seriously misunderstood my comment. In no way did I tell anyone that they should leave the church or leave Utah. And I never harped on anyone for not being as "faithful" as me, whatever that means. I was simply asking the question: why would someone who doesn't believe anything that the church teaches call themselves a Mormon? It was an honest question. I have been a member of the church my whole life and have served in lot of heavy callings that required lots of time and sacrifice, and if I didn't have a testimony that the theology part of it was true, I certainly wouldn't be member of the church or call myself a Mormon. I was asking the question to get some clarity on what the draw of the church is for people who dismiss the theological parts of it.

    I would never tell anyone to leave the church, nor would I ever claim to be more faithful than anyone else. You read something into my comment that simply wasn't there. Maybe next time you will read more carefully before you start throwing accusations around.

  • southmtnman Provo, UT
    July 20, 2011 9:04 a.m.

    agentuntomyself,

    Are you serious? Not long ago, and on several different occasions, Church leaders explicitly told members NOT to tell other members of the Church to leave the church or to leave Utah.

    You harp on others for not being as "faithful" as you claim to be, but in so doing, you disregard the counsel of the very Church leaders you are trying to drive others away from!

    Seems like you could use some serious introspection.

  • Mormoncowboy Provo, Ut
    July 20, 2011 8:01 a.m.

    Agentuntomyself:

    I was born and raised Mormon in Mormon country. In that way, I am a Mormon. As far as the religious "stuff", I don't believe any of it. I don't happen to think that the Church is a "nice livestyle", in fact I find it quite intrusive. I don't even think it promotes real family values, or at least, the family is secondary to Church loyalty. Personally, I'm not wasting my time with any "church".

    As for your question, what do I think the spirit is? I think it is nothing but a mental contrivance. It can't be measured, or objectively observed, nor does it have to issue consistent revelations from person to person. I doubt it very highly on these grounds.

  • agentuntomyself PROVO, UT
    July 19, 2011 11:48 p.m.

    @mormoncowboy
    If you don't believe that the prophets and apostles speak for God, why in the world would you call yourself a Mormon? It is one of the main premises of Mormon doctrine that they DO speak for God - and if you argue otherwise then you don't understand the doctrine at all. I just moved to Utah a few years ago, and I have to say that some of you Utah Mormons kill me. You like the church as a "nice lifestyle" because it promotes family values and good neighbors, and all that, but you couldn't care less whether or not you actually believe what the Church really teaches. It seems to me that it would be much easier just to be go to some generic Christian church. You can get all the same warm fuzzy feelings about God and family without having to put in the kind of work associated with callings,

    As for not believing in a non-empirical way of knowing something, what do think the spirit is?

  • atl134 Salt Lake City, UT
    July 19, 2011 10:38 a.m.

    A few years ago my then-girlfriend asked me if I had ever looked at porn. When I said no she was stunned. A mutual friend of ours, and the nicest, most pure (I guess that's the word I want to use) guy in our 80 person dorm walked by and she point-blank asked him if he's seen porn and he readily answered yes. That was my turn to be stunned. I feel like if both members of the relationship are fine with porn, then it's likely to not end up being much of an issue at all in the relationship. But... if either isn't fine with it then that's going to have to be resolved preferably beforehand or else there will be issues down the road.

  • Mormoncowboy Provo, Ut
    July 19, 2011 8:41 a.m.

    Agentuntomyself:

    I disagree with your premise that Holland speaks for God, or that there is a spiritual epistemology that leads to "knowing" real stuff. However, I do appreciate that you are willing to acknowledge that the real intrinsic harm of pornography is based on ones religious ideology, and not some apparent empirical research. At the very least this appropriately contextualizes the harm, as opposed to trying to bolster the case as though it transcends religious ideology. There is no correlation that "soft-core pornography" naturally progresses a user to child pornography. Such allegations are patently absurd. Still, is there a social harm in using pornography? It would hurt the feelings of my wife at least, so I don't need a clinical argument to understand that there is some "harm".

  • straightpaths GENEVA, IL
    July 18, 2011 10:49 p.m.

    God is Unchanging and a law changed by man does Not mean it was changed by God. Activities engaged in by the masses do not mean they're not Immoral! God's example: Compassion for people, not sin.
    Whats Porn? When one studies the words of prophets and the Savior in the Scriptures and seeks truth you find it. Definitions of porn? What good will one man's definition or perspective mean to you? God's law and definition and judgment are all that count. Seek personal revelation. A man's definition is imperfect and may promote justification for sin. Incidentally, studying Satan teaches us he promotes compassion for sin! He demonizes those who do not embrace sin freely. He mocks Eat, drink & be merry for tomorrow we die. A successful campaign ad for Satan was "What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas."
    The need to hide or the shame that is felt from sin due to society or religious expectations and commandments may complicate things, but they don't erase the fact that all aspects of pornography are a sin. Whether you partake a morsel or become an addict. It is harmful to all involved! I can list 50 ways if I had room!

  • agentuntomyself PROVO, UT
    July 18, 2011 10:02 p.m.

    @huldadans,
    Not all truth is supported by scientific studies. If you restrict yourself to empirical evidence as the only acceptable epistimology, you will miss out on other ways of knowing that are equally valid. Pornography obviously doesn't cause the kind of damage you can see, or the kind of damage that can be measured, but it does cause spiritual damage - so far there is no study or test to measure that one. If you believe that God can see far-reaching spiritually dangerous consequences of actions that we often can't, and that the leaders of the Church (like Elder Holland) are trying to warn us of those dangers, then it won't matter whether or not there are any scientific studies (yet) that show other, more measureable negative effects. If you don't accept those two things as true, then it really shouldn't matter to you what Elder Holland says anyway, right?

  • agentuntomyself PROVO, UT
    July 18, 2011 9:48 p.m.

    Some of the comments on here saying that the church is making too big a deal of this issue would be hilarious if they weren't so stupid. Here's a little logic to set you all straight:
    IF Elder Holland is a prophet/apostle THEN (by definition) he speaks for God.
    THEREFORE, when Elder Holland says that pornography is dangerous and you should stay away from it, he speaks for God regarding pornography and you should probably listen.
    Here's what I don't get: for those of you who are members of the LDS church and say that pornography is okay in small doses, etc. - if you believe that Holland, et. al are prophets/apostles and speak for God, then you are essentially saying that God is wrong. And if you don't believe that Holland is an apostle/prophet, then why in the world are you a member of the church? Sleep in on Sunday mornings, for crying out loud! For those of you who aren't LDS, why do you even care what Elder Holland says? You obviously don't think he has the authority to speak for God, so what does it matter to you? Sheesh.

  • Joggle Clearfield, UT
    July 18, 2011 9:25 p.m.

    @Voice of Reason

    None of the comments I've tried to post have been directed at any LDS nor was I commenting about gay marriage. There was no reason that I can see as to why they weren't posted other than it was a differing opinion and was reasonably supported by both research and logic. I see comments easily getting through here that are mostly unsupported opinions and religious justifications with few exceptions.

  • A voice of Reason Salt Lake City, UT
    July 18, 2011 9:12 p.m.

    "What is thought provoking here is that Deseret News censors opposing opinions that are supported by research."

    Everyone on here knows that there are PLENTY of anti LDS comments that are allowed on here. Everyone knows how much half of the people on here like to quote statistics involving gay marriage, etc.

    If the DN refused a comment, it had nothing to do with the comment simply being a differing opinion or because of the research referenced.

  • Joggle Clearfield, UT
    July 18, 2011 8:52 p.m.

    What is thought provoking here is that Deseret News censors opposing opinions that are supported by research.

  • whistle219 princeton, IN
    July 18, 2011 8:15 p.m.

    porn reduces man to the level of an animal and the asperations of such,porn only degrades and can not exhult

  • mominthetrenches South Jordan, Utah
    July 18, 2011 8:11 p.m.

    Very thought provoking video driving the point across about how just small choices we make can make such a huge difference. Even if you didn't get the references to the porn, you could see the impact in the family's quality of life with the husband's selfless, thoughtful choices, as he put his family first (presenting wife with flowers, coloring with kids, going to the movies together, etc), contrasted with his selfish choices (ignoring his family)--both types of choices, as shown here, were small, but had significant effect on the entire family. There is wisdom in Elder Holland's counsel, whether you are LDS or not. I am LDS and believe that there is safety in following it as closely as possible.

  • 22ozn44ozglass Southern Utah, UT
    July 18, 2011 7:10 p.m.

    Nora323;

    I have no major qualms with anything you have posted about porn and the damage that it can do to individuals and to families alike. However, I do question the following comment: "That is why a pornography user can quickly go from soft-core to hard-core to child pornography"

    I will submit that the dynamics, emotional problems and mental health issues that combine to allow for attraction to and erotic sensation from child porn are much more involved than just compulsive viewing of porn.

    However, that does bring up an interesting question as the homosexual pederasts(aka intergenerational dating/transgenerational relationships google for clarification) claim that their sexual proclivites are just the natural outcome of them being themselves and that they are a victim of some kind of a quasi geneitic, pscyhlogical, hormonal anomoly due to no fault or action of their own rendered them pederasts.

    In the end it is all about personal responsiblity.

    As you are most likely a woman what is your stance on LDS women who frequent romance chat rooms and compulsively read romance novels

  • straightpaths GENEVA, IL
    July 18, 2011 6:06 p.m.

    To: "I could be convinced pornography is destructive if there were some scientific studies which demonstrate porn's harm to individuals.": Addicts and victims of pornography readily admit its ill effects, why would you need scientific proof? Many young men say that when they viewed porn on the internet just a few hours it caused them to have lustful thoughts towards All women and they struggled to think of anything else. Others admit it eventually wasn't cutting it for them anymore so they had sex with girlfriends. These girls were used and tossed aside. I'm sure that was destructive to their self worth! This immorality causes the boy spiritual pain. Selfishness is destructive to every relationship: example ignoring a wife to view porn is so hurtful. Viewers admit it is the gateway to other sins. Venereal diseases are one negative result. I feel sorry for anyone on these posts who defends pornography in so much naivete. If you know someone who likes pornography you know pain and you don't ask the ill effects. You see them, you feel them. If you partake a little you are on the precipice of your own nightmare. Don't doubt the prophets. Korihor needed proof.

  • straightpaths GENEVA, IL
    July 18, 2011 4:18 p.m.

    Nora323 your comment is awesome and speaks truth. On the lightest side, porn takes one away from the Gifts of the Spirit. It makes the special common. There is no way to be anxiously engaged in good works with a heart turned to God when ones' heart is turned towards idolatry. On the addictive side it leads (and has ALWAYS Led)one to strip clubs, or prostitution or extra-marital affairs or abuse. In some cases it leads to stealing in order to provide a means to pay for these other activities and hide the loss of income. Sometimes it leads to seeking lesser evils as a replacement..becoming addicted to video games or gambling. All these destroy families & careers as they put the addicted person ahead of everyone else in the family almost constantly in the categories of time, attention and where family funds are spent. I know there are many out there who feel they need help "knowing how to perform and please their spouse". Newlyweds are advised to talk openly together and when necessary ask a trusted parent a question. There are counselors too. It can be kept respectful and clean. There is personal revelation also!

  • Mormoncowboy Provo, Ut
    July 18, 2011 4:15 p.m.

    Nora323:

    Just including the fact that dopamine releases are related to pornography consumption doesn't make your argument scientific. Dopamine "rewards" are associated with nearly all aspects of diet and sexual activity, including the healthy sexual activity between spouses in a committed relationship. Interesting, dopamine is a natural chemical triggered by a litany of both normal and destructive behaviors, and is indiscriminate. I'm not advocating pornography, however the mere release of dopamine - even on a graduated scale - is of no real inherent consequence. In other words, it is a normal part of human sexuality (dopamine), and not a nuance unique only to pornography consumers. We all have an inherent drive and just have to live with it. Huldadans was asking for some evidence that pornography is destructive. Before we could ever address that we would have to state what exactly we mean by destructive. Can pornography "ruin lives"? Yes, but is that an innate consequence of pornography use or an outgrowth of how certain segments of society choose to respond to pornography? That is getting closer to understanding how it effects people.

  • straightpaths GENEVA, IL
    July 18, 2011 3:35 p.m.

    No man can serve two masters for he will love the one... In response to "a little porn will not hurt you": You've got to be kidding! All addictions start out as a little. How can one be anxiously engaged in serving the Lord if he spends time worshiping the idol of Porn? Maybe some people are productive, but they don't serve the Lord to the best of their ability for the Spirit will not strive with them. We are commanded to not walk in crooked paths for the Lord cannot do so. The Prophets, therefore God, has said Porn is filthiness. No unclean thing can enter the Kingdom of Heaven. A little always hurts. And often turns into a LOT. With the instantaneous millions of pictures and videos available on the internet for view over a short hour, one cannot argue the Spirit is with someone viewing that. How can one stop those images from re-entering their minds when they are with wife, co-workers, other ward members. During worship or temple attendance? Keep eyes on tree of Life, and you will love the commandments and Gods words won't "shaken" you or cause you to defend filth.

  • Nora323 SARATOGA SPRINGS, UT
    July 18, 2011 2:36 p.m.

    God's most sacred gift, the joining of a man to a woman, has been abused and perverted for so many years that it isn't sacred anymore to the world. It is reduced to an animal act that demands the thrill of perversion.

    @Huldadans some science:

    This is an interesting bit I read online recently: Studies show that frequent use of pornography produces a steady stream of dopamine, which quickly starts to lose its effect on the pleasure center of the brain. Thus, more porn is required to achieve the same high.
    As the desensitization of the reward circuit continues, stronger and stronger stimuli are required to boost the dopamine. In the case of narcotic addiction, the addicted person must increase the amount of the drug to get the same high. In pornography addiction, progressively more shocking images are required to stimulate the person. That is why a pornography user can quickly go from soft-core to hard-core to child pornography.
    The user, becomes, in a sense, dehumanized. Many develop an antisocial lust devoid of most values and the high they get from pornography becomes more important than real-life relationships. -- yeah. enough said.

  • mark Salt Lake City, UT
    July 18, 2011 2:22 p.m.

    Nora, relax.

    Tell you what, you tell me what you think "porn" is. Then we will talk about the defense of it.

    Rifleman, same thing: you tell us what you believe "porn" is.

  • Huldadans Olympia, WA
    July 18, 2011 12:52 p.m.

    There have been multiple comments, such as Rifleman's which speak as if it is a given that pornography is destructive. I do not see it, but perhaps I could be convinced if there were some scientific studies which demonstrate porn's harm to individuals. Merely saying it is like garbage or poison is not convincing. And please no anecdotal evidence. IF your dad or husband was a jerk yet also looked at porn, that doesn't necessarily mean it was the porn's fault because he probably also drove a car and that doesn't mean cars make people jerks. (not to mention most men are not jerks/adulterers/abusers etc even though nearly all of them look at pornography) So if someone can find a credible study that shows moderate porn consumption harms people, I will gladly change my mind on the subject.

  • Neanderthal Miami, Fla
    July 18, 2011 12:02 p.m.

    @Miss Piggie:

    "The female is the attractor and the male is the attracted."

    Yes, and as soon as the female discovers this fact she suddenly realizes just what power her sex is endowed with.

    @Nora323:

    "It's amazing to me how many people get on here and actually defend porn."

    What's equally amazing is the number of people on here who seem to blame porn for their family problems. As another has posted, the problem with porn is that folks in important positions have declared it verboten.

    Adam and Eve seemed to have little or no problem viewing each other in the nude in the garden... until they bit into an apple. I submit it was not the apple in the tree that was the problem but rather the pear on the ground.

  • Rifleman Salt Lake City, Utah
    July 18, 2011 11:46 a.m.

    Re: Joggle | 12:36 p.m. July 17, 2011
    "Not all pornography is the same"

    Not all garbage at the city dump is the same .... but it all falls under the classification of garbage.

    You can't roll around in stink without having it stick to you, and you can't expose yourself to pornography and come away a better person as a result. I always wonder about the type of people who defend something that is proven to be destructive.

  • Nora323 SARATOGA SPRINGS, UT
    July 18, 2011 11:01 a.m.

    Wow. It's amazing to me how many people get on here and actually defend porn. Really?! It's just proof that Satan really has a strong hold on people's hearts and clouds their judgement. We live in a scary day and age. Crazy.

  • Nora323 SARATOGA SPRINGS, UT
    July 18, 2011 10:58 a.m.

    WOW. It's amazing to me how many people on here actually defend porn. Really?! It's just living proof that Satan has his grasp on people's minds. Amazing.

  • Spikey Layton, UT
    July 18, 2011 7:47 a.m.

    Pagan, this is true, HOWEVER, a couple of things to keep in mind, which I learned from reading the articles about this same topic.

    1) Utah also uses the internet more than any other state (or is it, we have more computers per capita?)

    2. The implication here is that it must be a Mormon hypocrite problem. Well, let's research further. The TOP 3 places where porn was searched for and/or used in Utah was: Salt Lake County (Liberal Dems), San Juan County (60% native Americans), and Carbon County, I don't know the exact stats but a large chunk of Hispanics live there for jobs in mining.

    So I guess if we follow the same logic as the implications of those who write these articles and those who "always" seem to bring them up, then liberal democrats, native Americans and Hispanics are the "real" problem. I don't even know if Orem made the list.

  • Mr. Bean Miami, Fla
    July 18, 2011 1:54 a.m.

    @KJB1 Eugene, OR:

    "Lust is a part of love, and to pretend it isn't is to deny one of the key parts of being human."

    Take lust from the male and the human race disappears.

    @cjb:

    "Keep in mind that some of our greatest religious art in churches in Europe and statues too, are of people who are not clothed."

    True. The 14 foot statue of the totally nude David in Rome is very impressive.

    @Tommy:

    "If the LDS Church has a wide spread problem with viewing porn, it ought to be counseling its married members on becoming closer to their spouses through a good sex life..."

    Can you imagine a general church leader standing up in a meeting and exhorting married couples to increase their sexual activities with each other? Never happen.

  • Miss Piggie knoxville, TN
    July 18, 2011 12:48 a.m.

    @jblackb:

    "Experts say that pornography, and sex is not the problem, just like food isn't the problem for over-eaters."

    True. The problem, simply stated, is that porn is a problem because leaders and other important people in high places say it's a problem. If folks would stop saying it's a problem, it would stop being a problem.

    "The question I think you really have to ask is, how is lust playing out in your life during those dry spells? Do you fantasize about women?"

    The male of the species is endowed with continuous lust. The female is the attractor and the male is the attracted. That's the way Mother Nature designed the human. If that arrangement were to disappear the human race would disappear off the face of the earth. Porn is a small price to pay to keep humans on the earth.

  • Neanderthal knoxville, TN
    July 18, 2011 12:19 a.m.

    @Pagan: "'Utah No. 1 in online porn subscriptions..' That's the conclusion of a Harvard economics professor who tracked subscriptions to online porn sites."

    If I understand correctly, it is impossible to determine the state porn subscriptions originate from. Further, subscriptions are not needed to access all the porn that a viewer would care to access.

    -------------------------

    @screenname:

    "You're right that people who use pornography can have productive, good lives."

    Then, what would be the problem?

    "But they'll never know what they missed out on."

    Please explain what would be missed out on.

    --------------------------

    @RantBully: "... are they just enticed by their spouse's beauty yet when that spouse is not present, they no longer seek sex?"

    Or, more specifically perhaps, when that spouse is unresponsive.

    -------------------------

    To Grammy3 SOUTH JORDAN, UT: You husband's problem was not porn.

    ------------------------

    There are many beautiful things in this world... a mountain vista, a astounding sunset, magnificent architectural creations, exquisite art like the Mona Lisa, the human body, etc.

  • Major Bidamon Birmingham, AL
    July 17, 2011 12:59 p.m.

    I found the video a bit manipulative. I have no doubt that people struggle with viewing porn excessively, but most normal people don't leave their family if they have one or two glances -- and they don't beat themselves up with never ending guilt. They stop and they move on with life. Take alcohol use as an example, I'm a lapsed mormon but my wife is a true believer. I drink one or two beers maybe once a month (with my wife's full knowledge btw). By the standards of the church, I'm a raging alcoholic on the verge of losing my family; the opposite is true. The video does a good job painting things in black and white (literally ... notice the use of bright colors on the right and dark colors on the left). Having counselled with one Bishop, who was a certified sex therapist, in my younger years concerning my porn "addiction" (aka, hormones), there are more shades of gray than the institutional Church would care to admit (at this time). In closing, it has been my personal experience that the more we focus on porn, the more it becomes a problem IMHO.

  • Joggle Clearfield, UT
    July 17, 2011 12:36 p.m.

    Not all pornography is the same. While I agree that exposure to violent or deviant forms of pornography can lead to anti-social attitudes and behavior; I disagree that ALL forms do. Swim suit models, porn stars, naked women in national geographic magazines, a sexily dressed woman on the street, nude art, explicit sexual novels, can all be the same to most men. Do we ban all porn for ALL people when many who view non-violent/non-deviant forms do so without ill affects? As a general rule, women (not all) tend to view pornography with a sense of disgust while the male population speaks with acceptance and/or mild apathy unless it becomes a problem. Porn may objectify women, but this is because of the male mindset. Porn doesn't naturally oppress women, but it is a reflection of what is in the male mindset, and the male mind causes any objectification. If we could realize that pornography has a practical use and be wary of any signs of oppression or rejection towards women....hopefully, this unique outlet can be preserved for those who need it, but not mainstreamed to the point where it evokes a change in mentality.

  • mark Salt Lake City, UT
    July 17, 2011 11:12 a.m.

    The filth that has filled my mind by viewing the garbage in most of these posts is far too much to handle! I must cleanse my mind! I must go surf the net. I must find some. . .

    Ahh. . . Much better. . .

    EB2, I sincerely hope that Stan gets the professional help he so clearly needs. It is very hard for people to deal with that sort of systemic abuse. His father clearly had problems.

    With that said, I'm not about to accept Stan's opinion on "porn" for one second. I'll listen to cooler heads then most of those posting here.

    For instance, many here have claimed that "porn" is more dangerous then alcohol or drugs. Obviously those people making this assertion have had very little interaction with actual alcoholics and drug addicts. Believe me, as one that has had many years of very close interaction with all kinds of drug and alcohol addicts it seems almost silly to put those who view "porn" in the same category.

    Obviously, while some are addicted to "porn" and sex very few of those are pedophiles. And a frigid spouse can ruin a marriage just as surely as an oversexed spouse.

  • Ishmot2 IVINS, UT
    July 17, 2011 11:07 a.m.

    BYU Alum, Sounds like a made up story to put the church in a bad light to me.Pagan don't believe everything you read Satan has power over many people trying to destroy the truth.

  • Between the lines west jordan, ut
    July 17, 2011 8:50 a.m.

    I think it would be appropriate to reiterate the message that porn affects different people differently. I have read enough things from people and heard enough about the phenomenon of porn from podcasts to know that if one or both partners in a relationship are hypersensitive to things like porn, then that fact alone can have more of an impact than anything else. I also heard a story about a woman who left her husband because he read an 'anti-mormon' book. There are many other ways that I could demonstrate that being overzealous in your convictions is perhaps the cause in many cases of big problems. I'm not advocating pornography here, but I just want people to know that all things should be looked at in a healthy way. And no, porn does not make everyone into a sex addict. It can be an outlet, like others have said, which in some ways can lessen the effects of horrendous crimes occurring in your community, just like brothels. Or, yes, it can be the cause of it. Whatever the case, it's simply impossible to paint this issue with one color.

  • EB2 PORTLAND, OR
    July 17, 2011 8:34 a.m.

    @I M LDS 2

    Due to DesNews 4-Post 200-word limitation prevents CRT Stan to reply to you directly, so he asked me.

    He wishes to congratulate you on 20 years of happy marriage! His desire is not to judge [your] relationship. He understands he may have a different different definition of lust than you. He believes lust as craving or appetite for physical pleasure or power, and I that love comes from the heart; he apologizes if he misjudged you.

    Pornography nearly destroyed his life many years ago. He is a strong survivor who recognizes the subtlety Satan uses to minimize the dangers. He knows it is proven most perpetrators of sexual abuse use pornography as fuel for their fires of their perversion. Most do not become a monster pedophile like his father, who used frightening and sick methods of coercion on his many victims. Pornography is something that is typically created and viewed in secret, away from loved ones. It has destroyed many families. Mental health professionals, and law enforcement know pornography has a strong link to sex crimes.

    Bottom line: Pornography is Dangerous!

  • JSO Lehi, UT
    July 16, 2011 9:01 p.m.

    Pornography eroticizes and promotes hatred and violence against women, as well as self hatred in men. When we accept or engage in it, we, however indirectly, are supporting an evil global web of organized crime, abuse, drugs, prostitution, sex trafficking, etc.

    Glad to see the church talking about it more and offering more ways to help those trapped in the web and educate those who love them.

    Boys get addicted as teenagers or earlier--I hate the excuse that men look because of some deficiency with the wives. It has NOTHING TO DO with their wives at all. Many were sick long before they got married. Stop the denial--get help.

  • The Rocker Bountiful, UT
    July 16, 2011 9:00 p.m.

    Before there was even internet I cant tell you how many friends I had who destroyed their lives starting with porn. Back in middle school it seemed like almost everyone was doing it. My friends who did not look at porn turned out great. The ones who got into it have had jail time and have made poor decisions in their lives with many consequences. Before they got into drugs,gangs,robbery,burglery,felony related vandalism,grand theft auto,and i can name a few others I noticed it was a porn magazine. I have had bad habbits in my life but one of them was not porn. It is critical to teach your children to stay away from this evil. I have seen it destroy peoples lives and marriages more than drugs and alcohol.

  • BobP Port Alice, B.C.
    July 16, 2011 8:06 p.m.

    Looking, doing what comes naturally, is the cheapest excuse of all. For the natural man is an enemcy to God . . .

  • mightymite DRAPER, UT
    July 16, 2011 6:12 p.m.

    You'll go blind- that is the philosophy I teach. No need to have some dude speak about evil, satin and all that junk......

  • Huldadans Olympia, WA
    July 16, 2011 5:32 p.m.

    Ctr Stan,
    I am very sorry to hear about your father and the difficulties he caused in your life. However, I believe it is unfair to blame his problems on pornography. Virtually every male I know, Lds and otherwise looks at or 'struggles' with pornography and none of them are monsters. Perhaps it was his guilt over pornography that induced monster like behavior in him, if that is the case, it is the Church's strong anti-porn stance that caused his troubles, not pornography itself. Most likely, your dad had other issues, perhaps mental illness that caused his destructive behavior and in an attempt to understand how someone could act that way, pornography was used a scape goat to explain his behavior. Otherwise, most men in the entire world would be monsters and I don't believe that is true.

  • Gruffi Gummi Logan, UT
    July 16, 2011 4:12 p.m.

    Porn definitely generates a lot of interest here...

  • BYU Alum Cedar Hills, UT
    July 16, 2011 3:34 p.m.

    Regarding porn in the Marriott Hotel chain. I wrote to the Marriotts in the early 1990's about it and was shocked that I got an actual reply from them on corporate stationary, signed by the big guy himself. He was frank and said that though he abhorred porn and what it does to people, he had to provide it in his hotel chain because his competition provided it. The family owned Marriott properties did not have porn in them, and apparently never will. The 90% of the Marriott chain that has the porn are franchisees. I believe Marriott was a stake president at the time and I recall being somewhat saddened by the answer I received. Money rules.

  • I M LDS 2 Provo, UT
    July 16, 2011 1:40 p.m.

    CTR Stan,

    "...a VERY scary and dangerous line of thinking..."

    "...frightening methods..."

    Wow! Lots of fear and anxiety in your life.

    But I have news for you. I am not your father. Most people are not your father, and most people's lives are not your life.

    "You are confusing lust for love..."

    You presume to judge my relationship? Really?

    I have been happily married for over 20 years to the most beautiful woman in the world - she is "hot", and our relationship is filled with passion (call it what you want, you don't know), not prudish anxiety and fear such as you describe in your life. There is nothing wrong with the "passion" I have in my relationship.

    "...pornography made my father into a MONSTER..."

    "...I cannot describe the destruction he did to the minds of my family."

    "...my father used to..."

    I suggest that you blame your father for many things. Sounds like you need to take responsibility for your own life and stop blaming.

    Fear and blame... your comment is filled with these.

    2_Timothy_1:7
    "For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind."

  • Huldadans Olympia, WA
    July 16, 2011 1:24 p.m.

    It seems like many of the commenters who cite personal examples of how porn destroyed their life cite everything except actual porn.
    They reference husbands or fathers abandoning them. Sexual abuse at the hands of parents or loved ones. And for some reason they connect this to porn?
    Why do these legitimately devastating actions have anything to do with porn? Because those men also happened to look at pornography?
    99% of men on earth look at porn! You could make a similarly fallacious connection between pornography and anything else men do. Since most fortune 500 companies are led by men who look at porn, does that also mean porn makes people rich and successful? Since most race car drivers are men who look at porn, does that mean pornography will make me a race car driver?
    Studies show that as pornography laws are relaxed, rates of rape and abuse goes down. Porn can provide a healthy sexual outlet for people who would otherwise use unhealthy means.

  • PP Eagle Mountain, UT
    July 16, 2011 1:12 p.m.

    Pornography in hotels," According to a survey by Citizens for Community Values, 75 percent of American hotel rooms and 90 percent of Marriott suites are wired with in-room adult movies. "They are the biggest and most egregious purveyor of pornography," Burress said of Marriott.
    ---------------
    Marriott has been removing it from their hotels. I think the problem is the contract they had with their TV provider. It takes time to change contracts but it is changing.

  • chrisalmond Olympia, WA
    July 16, 2011 1:07 p.m.

    I believe the problem depicted in this video is not porn, but in how porn is perceived and deception. I know many many couples where one or both partners looks at porn, is honest about it and they are totally okay. Not only does it not have negative impact on their relationship, but even has some positive. Generally addiction is defined as not being able to stop something, even if it has negative consequences on your life. So if you are an Lds person, yes, looking at even one minute of pornography per week may be an addiction because it is seen as a grievous sin which leads to heartache and dishonesty. But for the non-Lds, pornography is often just one part of a person's life and relationship, only rarely leading to addiction. So when I watched the video, I felt sad for the couple, but not because of the pornography, but rather because their secrecy and unhealthy views towards it allowed it to ruin their lives relationship. I think an extreme anti-porn stance will due more harm to individuals and relationships than pornography ever could.

  • Tommy Salt Lake City, UT
    July 16, 2011 12:34 p.m.

    An LDS woman and man divorce. Reports come back to the church, usually from the wife, that her spouse has been watching porn. The LDS Chuirch concludes that porn breaks up families and counsels its members to avoid porn at all costs.

    Unfortunately, the lDS church fails to identify why men are watching porn.

    Biologically, most men have a strong sex drive and desire sex. It's human nature. If a husband and wifwe are not having sex and do not have a goosd sex life, many husbands will look elsewhere to satisfy their sexual drive, whether it be with another woman, or more often, through porn. A significant portion of married persons who are viewing porn are doing so because their sex life with their spouses is lacking or nonexistent. If the LDS Church has a wide spread problem with viewing porn, it ought to be counseling its married members on becoming closer to their spouses through a good sex life andcounseling them about communciating with one another with regard to sexual needs and wants.

    Unfortunately many of these comments are proof positive as to why couples don't candidly discuss sex with one another. And so the cycle continues. . .

  • Ugwamp EAU CLAIRE, WI
    July 16, 2011 12:18 p.m.

    Having been on both sides of the screen I can tell you that both are 100% accurate. Unfortunately many church leaders are ignorant of the causes of and ways to end this behavior. Not a complaint, just a fact. One Church leader told me, "You just need to stop looking at it."

    I was invited to discuss this issue with the bishops in our stake. I asked them, "If someone came to you with a drinking problem, would you simply tell them to just stop drinking? Or would you tell them to just read the scriptures, say your prayers and come to church?" Many shook their heads.

    Porn is an addiction and needs to be treated as such. The Church now has an addiction reovery program which is wonderful. I also started attending the local meetings of Sex Addicts Anonymous which has been a God-send. Even though I haven't had a drink since I joined the Church, I attend AA meetings just to stay in touch with my program. I am once again enjoying the presence of the Holy Ghost in my life. Life is beautiful again. This addiction can be beat.

  • deseret pete robertson, Wy
    July 16, 2011 12:13 p.m.

    The message about Porn is not new --- Jesus Said ( as a man thinketh in his heart, so is he )The leaders of the Church of Jeaus Christ of Latter Day Saints have all warned us of this deadly addiction for many years.

  • Livingstone Orem, UT
    July 16, 2011 12:11 p.m.

    I still don't understand why men would want pornography unless their wives were cold and didn't want to be intimate....which actually might be the case more than we think.

  • HappyPessimist Clearfield, UT
    July 16, 2011 12:02 p.m.

    Still waiting for the church to call the women to repentance for partaking of the porn. From what I have seen, about 95% of them read Twilight. It's pornographic.

  • BobSha TAYLORSVILLE, UT
    July 16, 2011 10:46 a.m.

    This comment line is great. Some views I agree with, some I don't. I do believe in everyone's freedom of speech. Saying that, speech is like everything else, music, movies, shows and dirty pictures/movies. If we don't like it, we turn it off. Does that make everything alright, definitely not. The Mormon church has their doctrine and I agree with most of it as healthy. Porn is unhealthy in all forms. It does nothing but tease the viewer. It doesn't promote healthy outlooks at anything. It demeans the the human race. It gives unreal expectations. Women in porn say that they aren't victims, neither is the person who buys the fake diamond ring, thinking it's real. They chose to buy it, still doesn't make it right. People will believe what they want until it beats them in the face and causes more pain than denial can hide. Are Mormons totally correct, I don't think so, but more often than not, they hit the nail on the head. The general population seems to think that accepting something over time will eventually make it OK. The Mormons don't fall for that and aren't shy about admitting it, good for them.

  • Cats Somewhere in Time, UT
    July 16, 2011 9:46 a.m.

    I think it's so sad the way these porn addicts come on here every time trying to justify themselves. You are using the arguments that Satan uses to draw people down the path to their own destruction.

    CTR Stan: Thanks for your comments. You clearly know whereof you speak. Nothing that destroys the spirit is worth one second of anyone's time. Unfortunately, we live in a world that's full of this filth. We have to be ever vigilant in fighting against it.

  • cjb Bountiful, UT
    July 16, 2011 9:30 a.m.

    What is pornography? is it pictures or movies of people engaged in weird and violent sexual acts, if so I can see how it can distort in peoples minds of what healthy sexual relations ought to be.

    It isn't apparent to me however that pictures of women in a state of undress is damaging. If so how is it?

    Keep in mind that some of our greatest religious art in churches in Europe and statues too, are of people who are not clothed.

    I think we need to get our definitions straight in order to have a productive conversation.
    .

  • Another Perspective Bountiful, UT
    July 16, 2011 9:21 a.m.

    It is the nature of men to look, thats how we are made. Porn apparently damaging to some, just as alcohol is damaging to some. I would think that laying to big of a guilt trip on men for doing what they do naturally, just looking is also damaging and sexually confusing.

  • KJB1 Eugene, OR
    July 16, 2011 9:10 a.m.

    CTR 8:00 a.m.

    "You are confusing lust for love and that is a BIG mistake."

    Lust is a part of love, and to pretend it isn't is to deny one of the key parts of being human. Sure, it can be abused, but so can food, religion, exercise, reading, or anything else. Do we call these things "evil" and ban them, or do we figure out a way to integrate them into our lives in a healthy way?

    Look, if porn isn't your thing, that's your right, but too many people on these forums have an odd insistence that their way is the ONLY way and anyone who disagrees is a drooling addict who will destroy their family and any chance of happiness. It's not just that you believe porn is always wrong. It's that you NEED it to be wrong, as if your entire worldview depends upon it being wrong. Why the desperation?

    As I said before, think and act however you like, but there is more under Heaven and Earth than is dreamt of in your philosophies and it's sad that most of you will probably never see that. Or want to...

  • BobP Port Alice, B.C.
    July 16, 2011 8:48 a.m.

    Porn ia very vile stuff. It demeans those who indulge, men or women. I would mention that women who consider sexual intimacy "a nasty chore" are setting themselves up for disaster.

  • CTR Stan PROVO, UT
    July 16, 2011 8:00 a.m.

    @I M LDS 2

    You present a VERY scary and dangerous line of thinking. When I was young my father used to tell my sisters and me how beautiful the human body is--which is true--however, he used frightening methods of demonstration trying to warp our minds. Over 40-50 years ago pornography made my father into a MONSTER of horrible proportions. He even promoted same-gender attraction and HE created the confusion you subtly mention. He tried to make evil look good and even desirable. I cannot describe the destruction he did to the minds of my family while growing up. Fortunately, he is out of the picture now and can no longer hurt anyone.

    You ask the question, It is wrong to lust after my own wife? YES, it is absolutely wrong! You are confusing lust for love and that is a BIG mistake. Lust seeks to please our carnal animal natures, whereas love joins two hearts as one. Relationships built on lust can NEVER enjoy the wonder and magic of love.

    Probably the scariest part of your post is, my father used many of the same arguments you present.

  • 22ozn44ozglass Southern Utah, UT
    July 16, 2011 2:06 a.m.

    Elder Holland's message is one of the best porn prevention presentations that I have ever viewed. It is plain & powerfull yet not harsh & overbearing. It is a message of warning & a wake up call to those who need rebuke and a wake up call as well as optimism and change. Sometimes less is more.

    However, I hope the day comes when the LDS members start admitting that porn is an ever growing problem for LDS women too, and the LDS need to accept the fact that being PC and not addmitting and portraying women as the abusers, the addicts, and the adulterers in their presentations/teachings is not a reflection of the truth and reality of the LDS culture.

    In the US therapist and recovering former porn viewer Crystal Renaud calls women's addiction to pornography "widespread and silent". This does not include the common practice of women reading "romance novels" or women porn as some call them and the practice of meeting and getting to know men in intenet chat rooms to start relationships of emotional infidelity and eventually adultery.

    None the less, an excellent message by Elder Holland

  • BobSha TAYLORSVILLE, UT
    July 16, 2011 1:45 a.m.

    I asked to be excommunicated almost 30 years ago, reasons, were varied and still pertinent. But of all the religions I've experienced, LDS is the most family oriented, spiritual religion I know of. That also tends to make faith in it harder for me, as I see the hypocrisy in it also stronger than other religions. I somewhat envy those with such strong faith that they can overlook things I can't. I made my choice and since moving back to Utah, I'm allowing my daughter to make her choice. I'll be proud of her either way. You Mormons, keep up the good work.

  • 22ozn44ozglass Southern Utah, UT
    July 16, 2011 1:34 a.m.

    Pagan:

    Once agiain you distort Edleman's findings to say what he did not & could not, based upon his data. Your continued prejudiced distortion of his findings combined with your refusal to read and quote the actual study are a manifestation of your compulsion to attempt to smear groups and organizations who do not align with your politics and social agendas.

    Utah was NOT the State with the highest number of paid subscribers to the SINGLE online porn provider that Edleman examined. Edleman can only claim with any degree of scientific integrity and intellecutal honesty that after he used a series of controls, Utah had the highest number of subscriptions to the SINGLE given on line porn provider.

    Edlemans controls intentionally or unintentionally skewed his data to fit certain subsets of the general population & he also refuses to release his sample data for peer review. Under these questionable circumstances/ conditions, would you cite articles about Edlemans work if they portrayed homosexuals in a bad light?

    Objective research requires reading & quoting the ORIGINAL Source when ever possible. Or if you prefer a more modern/popular idiom-do you want your oats before or after they go through the horse

  • Supporting LDS Church Salt Lake City, UT
    July 16, 2011 12:52 a.m.

    "I just don't see this pornography problem tearing apart families and society."

    Do you remember the suggestion that all mormons could be considered 'closet anti-mormons', to which there was a reply saying 'no, just those who call themselves LDS but disagree with the church on everything.'?

    -----

    To everyone:

    If you are LDS and doubting the church on this issue (or any other), please feel free to pray and/or seek guidance from your bishop for help- but please don't spread those doubts publicly.

    -

    Deductive proof:

    Porn promotes self-indulgence.
    Porn is addictive.
    Porn promotes sexual arousal.
    Porn promotes these by viewing OTHER persons you are not married to.

    Addiction is destructive of agency, a core LDS doctrine.

    -----

    In my next post I will provide information I suggest is useful to someone with doubt on this issue.

  • I M LDS 2 Provo, UT
    July 15, 2011 11:34 p.m.

    It is wrong to lust after my own wife?

    Well if that is the case, I don't want to be right!

    Maybe I am missing something, but I just don't see this pornography problem tearing apart families and society. Biologically, the males of many species are predisposed to be visually attracted to the females of their species. This is presumably how we were created by our Father in Heaven: the command to "multiply and replenish the earth" was built into our natures.

    Burdening that God-given attraction with all this uproar and overzealous condemnation protests too much, methinks.

    Could it be that such hyper-sensitivity and over-reactions to "porn" is muddling those natural affections and contributing to confusion over opposite- vs same- gender attraction?

    I know the more I read these articles (which strike me as extreme), the less passion and romance I feel. How can anyone just relax and enjoy one's spouse with all this anxiety, worrying if you are "lusting" over your own spouse?

    I say lighten up and enjoy the passion and romance God gave us as a gift. Otherwise, what is the point?

  • JSB Sugar City, ID
    July 15, 2011 11:34 p.m.

    Jesus said that to look upon a woman and lust after her is committing adultry in your heart. What is porn but committing adultry in your heart? It's amazing how people justify little sins and think that porn is one of them. Whether you ever act on it or not, porn is spirituallty damaging and a betrayal of your wife and children.

  • mecr Bountiful, UT
    July 15, 2011 11:09 p.m.

    My father left us for another woman when I was 6. I cried all night long asking my mom to have my dad back. That experience affected me so deeply that when I got married, I was not able to feel secure about my husband's feelings. Shortly, he ended up cheating on me too and we divorced. It took me years and years to recover and heal. I've been blessed to marry a second time and couldn't feel happier. I know my husband is 100% faithful to me and our family.

    So, there you go, these are the consequences of porn and infidelity. My ex husband may say he is happy the way he is but I neither my kids were happy with his choices. So, whoever says people who see porn leads productive lives, I would say do you really think? what about their families?

  • MESOUTE Wandering, Earth
    July 15, 2011 9:50 p.m.

    Well, the brethren have been harping on pr0n since I entered the mission field over 15 years ago during general priesthood meeting, general conference, etc. It would appear the membership is not taking their good advice and the problem is as bad as ever. Very unfortunate. I can think of nothing that denigrates a woman more than does the objectification of their bodies as sexual vessels thereby devaluing their worth as individuals. I don't know what the solution is. I have seen firsthand the horrors of drug addiction, alcoholism, poverty, disease, etc. and it seems like the pr0n problem is every bit as hard to quit as any of it. Bad omen for the membership of the LDS church that they are still fighting this fight. It is, however, a worthy fight.

  • runnerguy50 Virginia Beach, Va
    July 15, 2011 9:18 p.m.

    This message is one of the many reasons I love the Church. Thank you Elder Holland for a frank message that cannot be heard by too many.

  • Aggielove Junction city, Oregon
    July 15, 2011 7:51 p.m.

    Its a gateway to numerous life issues. Starting with insecurity.

  • Californian#1@94131 San Francisco, CA
    July 15, 2011 7:50 p.m.

    * "I think that if men can keep porn down to about a half hour a week, there's no real problem" *

    Haven't you ever known anyone who became addicted to tobacco, alcohol, or cocaine after "just trying it once"?

    The closer people try to get to the edge of the cliff, and the more often they try, the greater their chances of falling over. And not just falling over, but being knocked over by an unexpected circumstance or person once they have become complacent to the risk.

  • Supporting LDS Church Salt Lake City, UT
    July 15, 2011 4:52 p.m.

    Those who say "it's okay, just control it" or any other phrase accepting porn even in the slightest are simply in denial and lying to themselves about what this is.

    Everyone knows right from wrong. Everyone.

    -------------------

    In response to the Marriott comment:

    "They are the biggest and most egregious purveyor of pornography," Burress said of Marriott.

    I used to work for Marriott. There are great things about the company. I personally believe that after Marriott Sr. passed on that the company has gone down hill. While I like 'the Marriott product' in many respects, the company and Bill Marriott Jr. have lost much of my respect.

    Bill Marriott Senior used to say that if you treat your employees well, they'll turn around and treat your customers well. This is falling away from Marriott and MVCI and this is the only reason that they are losing my respect. I now look back at the company, and with their acceptance of porn in their rooms I simply am disappointed. I don't boycott them for other reasons regarding my beliefs surrounding 'boycotts' and what the LDS church said about Prop 8 and boycotting... but I certainly don't respect the 'new Marriott' way.

  • CTR Stan PROVO, UT
    July 15, 2011 4:41 p.m.

    @bgl

    It concerns me when advocating playing with fire. This discussion has only lightly touched on the many issues and social problems that pornography creates. In Oregon several years ago I was involved in the Stop Child Pornography campaign, which was defeated due to first amendment free speech rights. I testified before a state senate committee and said, Free speech must not leave victims. Fortunately laws were changed so child pornography is now fully illegal in my home state of Oregon.

    So one of the BIG issues with porn is the exploitation of innocent participants. Pornography is not just about consenting adults viewing photos of other consenting adults. It is about children, women, and even some men who are forced into doing things against their will, so someone else can exercise their free speech rights. If you are viewing 30 minutes of porn a week on the Internet, then how do you know the images are not those of victims of abduction, coercion, or abuse?

    Exploitation is only one of the MANY reasons why pornography is EVIL and a cancer to our society. There are many others reasons why pornography MUST be avoided and eradicated.

  • Bobby joe SAINT GEORGE, UT
    July 15, 2011 4:34 p.m.

    Bgl... Real men don't view porn. They shun from it. I say this as a man. Society values have gone down, and way down even in my short life of almost 48 years. We can all see this. We must seek for things that are "lovely and good report and praiseworthy". No one who views porn feels good about themselves. To prove this, why do men sneak to view it then?? My hope is for all men to avoid this filth. May you be the one who makes a stand and defend things that are good and wholesome.

    This was a powerful message from Elder Holland. Thank you LDS church for standing up to this terrible sin. May all men out there make good choices. I wish porn was against the law. It is totally wrong. And the person viewing it knows, or why sneak?

  • jblackb Lehi, UT
    July 15, 2011 4:11 p.m.

    Experts say that pornography, and sex is not the problem, just like food isn't the problem for overeaters. The issue goes much deeper than your choice of drug, and in reality the real drug we are dealing with is lust. Perhaps you are successful at avoiding pornography, perhaps you able to go for long periods of time without viewing it. The question I think you really have to ask is, how is lust playing out in your life during those dry spells?

    Do you fantasize about women? Do you bring fantasies home to your wife? Are you lusting after your wife? Can you keep your eyes off the woman running down the road? How about the gal that drives up next to you in the car? Do you speed up to get a second look?

    I think it is time to set the denial on the shelf and really start looking at our obsession with Sex, pornography, and become rigorously honest. It is ok to talk to about this issue. It is ok to say that we struggle, and it is even better to say that we are getting help.

  • donn layton, UT
    July 15, 2011 3:18 p.m.

    Pornography in hotels," According to a survey by Citizens for Community Values, 75 percent of American hotel rooms and 90 percent of Marriott suites are wired with in-room adult movies. "They are the biggest and most egregious purveyor of pornography," Burress said of Marriott.

  • Go Big Blue!!! Bountiful, UT
    July 15, 2011 3:07 p.m.

    My father was addicted to porn and alchohal. Together those two combined forces were at the center of everything bad that every happend to my family. Families and society both pay a high cost because of pornography.

  • RantBully Bend, OR
    July 15, 2011 3:07 p.m.

    Pornography has addictive tendencies like alcohol and tobacco, but I fear that too many jump to the conclusion that anyone who looks at porn is an addict. The prevalence of porn is the greater issue. It is so easy to come across that when someone does, they can easily decide to look at it with negative results including potential addiction. But, that does not mean they are an addict. Many people see porn and don't turn away because it is prevalent and enticing. Yet, when out of the situation they don't desire to see it. This means including not seeking it. Unfortunately, because porn is so prevalent, they can easily get caught looking at it as unexpected situations arise.

    Could someone be considered a sex addict because they seek sex frequently from their spouse? Or, are they just enticed by their spouse's beauty yet when that spouse is not present, they no longer seek sex?

    The fear I have is that many (especially in the Church) don't want to admit they sometimes look at porn for fear of being labeled an addict. Rather, they may just find difficulty with the prevalence of porn and making choices to turn away.

  • LVIS Salt Lake City, UT
    July 15, 2011 2:53 p.m.

    bgl | 12:42 p.m. July 15, 2011
    Santa Monica, CA
    "I think that if men can keep porn down to about a half hour a week, there's no real problem. I know many of you don't want to hear that, but it's probably true"

    Probably true? Patently false. And I doubt they could keep it to half an hour a week. But still--if I offered you a glass of water with just a drop of poison in it, would you drink it? If it was only one drop a week? Because really, what's the harm in it? And, don't give me the shibboleth about 'just a little porn' being good for you--keeps the relationship fresh, etc. That is nothing more than intellectual emphysema at its best.

    And Johnson72--Seriously? I can explain it to you, but I can't understand it for you.

  • Joggle Clearfield, UT
    July 15, 2011 2:22 p.m.

    Pornography addiction is a symptom of larger problems with the person and/or relationship. The source is not to blame; people are! People control their actions or reactions....not the source. Put blame for porn addiction where it belongs....on the person. People do not become addicted to things simply because the source exists and taking the source away will not prevent access.

  • Johnny Triumph American Fork, UT
    July 15, 2011 2:14 p.m.

    Pornography and moral issues are silent killers, sneaking in and grabbing what you most treasure in an instant. Lives are destroyed and relationships killed over small things. And it's not just men now, it's women too, we've ALL got to be vigilant and refuse the constant stream of garbage that is available to us.

  • Enola BOUNTIFUL, UT
    July 15, 2011 1:45 p.m.

    I like the message. Even adults need to be careful to not to let things like pornography consume their life.

    I think the same can be said for many other things like internet message boards, video games, substance abuse, work, or even church. If we find ourselves choosing these types of things over our families, we need to reconsider whether or not we should do them at all. If we have trouble doing these types of activities in moderation, then it is probably wise to consider giving them up altogether.

  • screenname Salt Lake City, UT
    July 15, 2011 1:21 p.m.

    bgl-

    A person can smoke their entire life and never get lung cancer. Does that mean smoking isn't bad for your health?

    You're right that people who use pornography can have productive, good lives. But they'll never know what they missed out on.

  • Grammy3 SOUTH JORDAN, UT
    July 15, 2011 1:19 p.m.

    This is for bgl I read your comment and got sick to my stomach. The reason why is that I was in a marriage that my husband had the same outlook as you do. That lasted for a few years but by the time we were married for seven years things started to really change. More and more he became involved with porn. Then when I was seven months pregnant he started to cheat on me. The first year of my daughters life he was hardly home. He would even go to bars to pick up women so that he could make his act out what he had watched. By ten years of marriage I had no self esteem and our marriage was ruined. He even started to become very emotionally abusive along with mentally. To this day he still cheats on his wives as he in now looking for wife number 4. So please reconsider what you are saying because porn is deadly. I have been blessed in finding a good man who loves and respects me for whom I am. Porn is poison.

  • Pagan Salt Lake City, UT
    July 15, 2011 1:12 p.m.

    *Utah No. 1 in online porn subscriptions, report says By Elaine Jarvik 03/03/09 DSNews

    That's the conclusion of a Harvard economics professor who tracked subscriptions to online porn sites. Utah ranks No. 1 in subscriptions, according to Benjamin Edelman, who reported his findings in the article "Red Light States: Who Buys Online Adult Entertainment?," published in the most recent edition of the Journal of Economic Perspectives.

  • bgl Santa Monica, CA
    July 15, 2011 12:42 p.m.

    I think that if men can keep porn down to about a half hour a week, there's no real problem. I know many of you don't want to hear that, but it's probably true. At the extreme ends, yes--over exposure to it can be soul sapping and harmful--just like spending too much time on shoot-em-up video games, or too much time at the bar. But my gosh, when I was a kid my dad would take me to the barber shop (in SLC btw) and there were Playboys, Penthouses etc laying on all the tables. Men would wait for a chair and read the nudie mags. Big deal.

    I think that if the Des News ran an article about people who have looked at a lot of pictures or saw a lot of clips of naked people in their lives and still lived productive lives and had good relationships, raised good kids and did great things for scociety, it would blow this story out of the water.

  • SA Lifeline Lehi, UT
    July 15, 2011 12:36 p.m.

    This is a very sobering video, on how simply viewing Pornography can impact our lives. Many feel like their little problem is not worth addressing, is not worth eliminating because I am the only one involved. This is a lie propagated by the devil himself. God would never condone this behavior. God wants you to choose him, and to choose yourself. Choose God, and yourself today and begin writing your own story of recovery. A story that requires that you come forward and address this behavior!

  • Eliot Santaquin, UT
    July 15, 2011 12:30 p.m.

    Johnson72, perhaps your naivete is a sign that you have not been touched by the devastating effects of pornography. Congratulations!

  • Johnson72 Salt Lake City, UT
    July 15, 2011 12:00 p.m.

    @LVIS I still don't know... and I watched it twice!

  • Alaskan Ute Fairbanks, AK
    July 15, 2011 11:58 a.m.

    Well done! Timely and important.

  • JWB Kaysville, UT
    July 15, 2011 11:57 a.m.

    Johnson72

    I remember my father telling me 50 years ago, when I was a teenager something very special to me. His father passed away when my father was only 9 years old so his mother raised him as a single-parent. One time they were walking down the street in Ephraim, where they lived, and my grandmother and father were watching a couple in front of them. My grandmother said, "What that boy is doing is not appropriate and he is not treating the girl with respect."

    I believe we all know what treating with respect means in relation to all people but especially with our wife. One thing in this video mentions "Fidelity" and we all know what means in our relationship with our wife. I could see the choice this individual or all of us have to make, do we treat our family with respect or not. In the dark side, you could see what the effects of pornography did to his wife and children. The look on the daughter's face when he was doing the right things and the happiness in his wife's face was an endearing smile as she showed love to the family.

  • JohnJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt Beverly Hills, CA
    July 15, 2011 11:57 a.m.

    "Johnson72 | 11:26 a.m. July 15, 2011
    Salt Lake City, UT
    What did that have to do with anything about porn?"

    People must live in a world where no one feels pain, betrayal and worthlessness due to actions of others because of choosing porn over their families. The video encourages you to choose your family and their worth.

  • BYU Alum Cedar Hills, UT
    July 15, 2011 11:55 a.m.

    I agree with Elder Holland... but then ask, why if many R-rated movies have explicit nudity and pornographic elements are they now allowed in classes at BYU? The Harold B Lee Library has over 300 of them now at location "Faculty Use Only". They used to be in the general catalog but they had too many complaints. In the 1990's when I worked at BYU, full fledged porn was used in certain marital counseling situations. Unbelievable, but true. We need to practice what we preach, and that includes at Church owned BYU. Porn is destructive.

  • LVIS Salt Lake City, UT
    July 15, 2011 11:54 a.m.

    Johnson72 | 11:26 a.m. July 15, 2011
    Salt Lake City, UT
    What did that have to do with anything about porn?

    What do you think it dealt with?

  • PGVikingDad Pleasant Grove, UT
    July 15, 2011 11:43 a.m.

    That was a terrific, powerful message. Excellent. Imagine a world...

  • CTR Stan PROVO, UT
    July 15, 2011 11:40 a.m.

    Johnson72, To answer you question: "What did that have to do with anything about porn?"

    From the video it shows we have choices, and to choose to avoid porn is to choose to save our families. Porn is about selfishness, false expectations, and warped senses of reality.

    I have a friend, one of the sweetest people I have ever known. When her husband choose porn, he started comparing her to the filth he was watching. She was thin and beautiful, there was nothing wrong with how she looked. (BTW: thin does not equal beauty.) He became so critical of her she sunk into a terrible depression. He said she was fat, when she was not. She gained a lot of weight and the depression increased. She eventually left him and is now married to a wonderful man, but she still suffers emotionally from the abuse inflicted by her former husband.

    The message is we have choices and the choices we make affect those we love.

  • JohnJacobJingleHeimerSchmidt Beverly Hills, CA
    July 15, 2011 11:26 a.m.

    Porn is the personification of selfishness and lack of reality. Real women have feeling, needs and responsibilities. Real women are tired from a day of taking care of their families whether it be in the home or on the workplace. Men need to support their wives by doing more, changing more diapers, helping around the house. Then your partner will be more open to you. Expecting the false porn glamour and expecting it from your spouse while expecting them to have all your kids while you do no work on raising them is an unrealistic and terrible path that only leads to pain.

  • Johnson72 Salt Lake City, UT
    July 15, 2011 11:26 a.m.

    What did that have to do with anything about porn?

  • CTR Stan PROVO, UT
    July 15, 2011 11:21 a.m.

    When I was a boy in the 60's & 70's my father placed porn in my bedroom. Relatives had porn available and with my cousins we were exposed to this filth. I learned as a child porn warps the mind and changes reality. It nearly destroyed my life.

    I have lost friends to porn. They changed and lost their families, and so much more.

    Today, it is not a matter of if we are exposed, it is a matter of when. I use filters, spam protection, and yet some filth still gets through. Pornographers are always looking for ways to beat our defenses. We must walk away from it and shun it as the cancer of the mind, which it is. If ever porn slips through my defenses, I remove it and then I talk to my wife. Talking, even while innocently exposed cleanses my mind and I can let it go. Together with my wife and the Spirit of the Lord as my final safety net I feel safe, though constantly vigilant protecting myself from this evil.

    Thank you Elder Holland for your inspired words of counsel.

  • patriot Cedar Hills, UT
    July 15, 2011 11:14 a.m.

    good video. Important message. The internet is the life blood of the 21 century economy and day to day life for all Americans however with the good comes the bad thanks to Hugh Hefner and all the rest of the porn Czars out there lurking in the shadows. There is a balance between free speech and protecting society from collapse and I think we are reaching that tipping point where something more needs to be done to restrict the distribution of porn on the internet. Filters are great ... for kids ... but it is adults that need protecting and filters are easy to turn off or bypass by adults. Porn is 10 times more deadly than cigarettes yet we think restricting cigarette advertising is fine. Go figure.

  • Zoniezoobie Mesa, AZ
    July 15, 2011 11:09 a.m.

    In a priesthood leadership meeting, a quorum of 70 member said that everyone in the room, including himself, is not immune to pornography. It requires lifelong vigilance.

    It is like a raging storm, destroying individuals and families, utterly ruining what was once wholesome and beautiful.

    Pornography is not some titillating feast for the eyes that gives a momentary rush of excitement. Rather, it has the effect of damaging hearts and souls to their very depths, strangling the life out of relationships that should be sacred, hurting to the very core those you should love the most.

    The minds of youth become warped with false concepts. Continued exposure leads to addiction that is almost impossible to break. Men, so very many, find they cannot leave it alone. Their energies and their interests are consumed in their dead-end pursuit of this raw and sleazy fare.

    Ye have broken the hearts of your tender wives, and lost the confidence of your children, because of your bad examples before them; and the sobbings of their hearts ascend up to God against you.

  • JWB Kaysville, UT
    July 15, 2011 10:54 a.m.

    This is a great tool for anyone or family to use to help in the battle of the destructive force due to pornography and that type of addiction.

    Thanks to the Church in any and all efforts to stop this problem for individuals desiring to help those in trouble.

    I know the Church News, etc. will publicize this to the world. Thanks so much.