Comments about ‘Broken marriages draining tax coffers’

If children have parents that love each other and show respect to each other and the kids and take time for children as a family, then those children have a pretty good feelings about marriage. If religion is taught in the home that encourages love and respect to one another then that reinforces those good feelings. The parents would have taught them about life and relationships and things to look out for in people and the importance of looking for quality over wild actions or easy good looks. Compatability and working hard during the marriage to make it work and the importance of resposibility of each parent to make it a loving and loyal family. Too may are not setting that environment up and not being responsible or loyal and allowing kids to do all sorts of activities that are bad and not stopping it in time. People can still go wrong with those actions but it has a better chance of success than any other way.

Perhaps the marriage debate should change. Why aren't we doing more to encourage young, unwed mothers to consider adoption? Could birth control education be included in the abstinence lessons to help curb the problem?

The above comment by Dr Hall is a great comment. However, I would argue that his/her second sentence has no bearing on this issue. Leave out the second sentence and the comment is still true and powerful. Unfortunately, too many believe religion gives them a moral advantage.

i agree. attitudes of young children/adolescents are formed by observing and experiencing the love and ambience of a settled and happy home life, just as much a a negative attitude is formed by a dysfunctional and destructive relationship between father and mother, should on such marriage exist in the home.
i am a product of one mother presiding over a family of 6 children.
extreme poverty and hardship for the leader, my dear mother.
father ran like a broken water line down a rocky slope.
my experiences and father-directed anger and disgust led me to seek direction and goodness.
thankfully, i was influenced by men whom had a positive outreach to me, giving me the influences to develop good attitudes towards my wife.
my mother always directed to men/employers(who hired young people and themselves were developing very good, functio.nal families themselves

And despite this clear data, we have so many telling us that traditional families are no better than the nontraditional forms of family life that seem to be growing in popularity.

Yes, traditional marriages and families require us to sacrifice some of our individuality and selfish desires in favor of the good of the family.

Clearly, from this data, the results for our children are well worth the sacrifice.

While I agree that a good functional traditional family is a preferrable and positive goal; I also know that a dysfunctional traditional family can have a negative influence and can be a recipe for disaster for the whole family. Sometimes no amount of trying to preserve your traditional two-parent family makes it good for the family if the parents are incompatible, abusive, perhaps addiction infested or in constant disagreement. Some times there is NO being able to work it out for the sake of the children. Not having a traditional family and being divorced isn't always a recipe for disaster for children as long as the parent or parents make their child(ren) a priority despite divorce. Yes, we have to think of the children first and foremost, but when life turns out to be a living hell for couples, they must be given the chance to bail out of the marriage so as not to drag the children into the drama.

Re: Joggle | 12:15 p.m. May 1, 2011

Lucky are the children who's parents have the maturity and commitment to work through the struggles that come to every traditional family, put the other spouse first, and provide a stable home for their children.

It certainly beats the alternative which is "quality time" visits by a father that lives somewhere else.

@Rifleman (& Joggle) - What Joggle is saying is true. There are many people who try everything to work out their problems for the benefit of their children, but ultimately, unless both are fully committed, it can't work. I think what Joggle's saying is that in those instances, parents who obviously don't love one another and don't treat one another with respect aren't doing their children any favors. Children are very perceptive and impressionable and if exposed to a negative situation like that for too long, it could begin to have adverse affects on their relationships when they get older.

Parents with children always have a responsibility to try and work things out, but unfortunately there isn't always a happy resolution.

'Broken marriages draining tax coffers' - Title

Isn't this the 'traditional ideal' that everyone's always telling me about?
Or is that just really a myth?

50% divorce rate.

Re: Pagan | 10:09 a.m. May 2, 2011

The only thing worse than the high divorce rate in traditional marriages is the divorce rate in homosexual relationships. Only 4% of homosexuals are still with their original partners after 16 - 19 years. 31% do stay with one partner between 1 and 3 years.

Peddle your erroneous facts somewhere else 'Rifleman'. What percent of heterosexuals 'original' partners are together after 16-19 years? Without this information what you are trying to say has no value, or any basis in-fact.