Mormon mommy blogs immensely popular beyond LDS sphere

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  • ChristinaQ Sandy, UT
    Feb. 3, 2011 9:55 a.m.

    While it's great to lead such relaxing, domestic-oriented lives, I can't help but be sad while reading these articles. It's perfectly fine to come home from a stressful work day and relax by reading a dosage of a peaceful lifestyle. But these bloggers themselves... are they ever going to do anything to change the world besides trying to spread their religion through various means which now include the internet? Perhaps it's because of the fact that I want to make a difference for others - there is always something to do outside of the home; so many people out there in need of food and care, people who aren't as privileged as stereotypical rich, Mormon families whose wives can stay home while the husband goes out there and works. It's also sad to me the portrayal of Mormon women - and how women's lives should be in general - these bloggers are creating. While it's great to do arts and crafts, recycled projects, activities with children, etc, do these people ever think of the outside world? Will they ever make a positive contribution to this world outside of religion? I highly doubt it.

  • friedeggonAZstreets Pembroke, NC
    Jan. 21, 2011 11:43 p.m.

    I am a stay-at-home mother. I can relate to the comments about it being hard. I had a career before I joined the church; however, I grew up with latch key friends and saw their saddness. My husband and I decided this was best for us.

    I think lots of people are missing the point of this article. Sad. I do not read these blogs constantly, but I do know that some have a great impact. If a non-member is reading it and being exposed to the gospel in any form then I say great! Look at Stephanie Nielson's blog. She has a link to give away BOMs. She was blogging before her accident and continued to do so afterwards.

    Yes, it is a hard job to give, give and then give when you feel there isn't anymore to give. I am not 'Molly Mormon' nor will I ever be. It's not in me to be like her. Yes, I miss working at times and yes, I miss talking to adults. But would I change a thing about my decision to stay home? No.

  • Vanka Provo, UT
    Jan. 21, 2011 6:28 p.m.

    Mormon Mommy blogging is just another form of exhibitionism. Why do flashers flash? Streakers streak?

    To get attention.

    Now why would someone who is truly as happy as these Mormon Mommy bloggers make themselves out to be, be so deprived of attention as to have the need to engage in such exhibitionism?

    And those who peer into their homes through blogs are engaging in voyeurism!

    LDS are fond of claiming the Home is a refuge from the mean, evil outside world. They are also fond of insisting that the Home is sacred, like the LDS Temple.

    Yet these blogging mommies expose their most "sacred" details of their Homes to the entire world for criticism, ridicule, and evaluation.

    There is no illusion that these blogs are real or true. That is not why they are popular. They are popular because they are so UNreal and UNbelievable! They are fiction. As one Mormon Mommy blog-follower put it:

    "Mormon blogs are an escapist fantasy, a way to imagine a sweeter, simpler life."

    "The church teaches that the Gospel is the only authentic path to true happiness. So if you're a faithful follower, you better be happy, right?"

    It's spectacle.

  • MESOUTE Albany, NY
    Jan. 21, 2011 10:03 a.m.

    I can't think of anything more vain than these Mormon mommies putting up their blogs hoping that somebody cares. I hope The Bretheren begin to see the ills of these blogs and make it a point of discussion in future church meetings. It is in plain words, a new form of social competition and one-up-manship amongst mothers who can now take their competition past the neighborhood boundaries and onto a global stage. Note to bloggers, nobody cares. Get a life and a real purpose so that your days are not wasted trying to figure out which pictures to uplod and how cute your comments about said pictures can be.

  • one day... South Jordan, UT
    Jan. 20, 2011 9:20 a.m.

    I'm sorry to say this but...I've seen a lot of "mormon" families that show the "perfect" picture with their friends and at church on sunday. It's like catholics in south america...a lot of them...but not all of them follow the rules (I was one of them)

  • Uncle Charles Where freedom and liberty reign, utah
    Jan. 20, 2011 8:44 a.m.

    Wow, it looks like the majority of posters on here are guilty of the "crab in the bucket" syndrome. Why is it that people, and women in particular, pull each other down when one is trying to escape the bucket?

    Why not try to lift one another and help each other out of the bucket?

    I read the women's comments on here and they are the most degrading and dehumanizing I've read in a long time.

    It looks like many have never read or apparently don't comprehend the 10th commandment.

    Let me also suggest a reading of 1 Cor 13 for those of you who are trying to suppress others.

    "As I have loved you, love one another"....I think many on this thread need to follow this simple, yet deep eternal principle.

    Let's build each other up, help each other, offer a hand of fellowship and assistance. It will make you happier and help those around you.

    Matt 11:28-30. The yoke is giving service...let's all try it a little bit and see what a better place this world will be. Are you game?

  • one day... South Jordan, UT
    Jan. 19, 2011 4:55 p.m.

    to...ap | 11:11 a.m. Jan. 19, 2011
    South Jordan, Utah

    That's true, I know many people (family and friends) that show a different reality in facebook, blogs or even on sunday. it's sad but true.

    I don't like to see that, but I think that is better for them to show money, properties and celebrity life instead of working for the issue

  • granolagirl Draper, UT
    Jan. 19, 2011 4:10 p.m.

    I'm fine with people having mommy blogs, as long as they aren't blatantly lying about their lives. If your marriage is on the rocks, don't type on your blog that you have a perfect, blissful marriage. Just don't type about your marriage at all - type about something else like a new recipe you tried or something. It's not that hard - just stop pretending to be perfect! Nobody is perfect, and that's just fine. I love myself the way I am - total imperfection and all :)

  • Dan Maloy Enid, OK
    Jan. 19, 2011 1:20 p.m.

    Sadly, there are many negative comments on this message board so far. Many posters claim, essentially, that the vast majority of Mormon mom bloggers are being dishonest and simply can't be that happy.

    I say, rubbish.

    Just because YOU may not be all that happy with your life does NOT mean that they can't be happy. Besides, I'm sure that many bloggers post about the tough times, too. And yet, that must be balanced with revealing sensitive, private information. If you were a blogger yourself, would YOU want the whole world to know that you and your spouse got into a painful argument last night? Of course not.

    The bottom line is that no one's life is a sweet dream at all times and these blogs do a lot of good in helping Mormon mothers feel connected to their fellow sisters as well as sharing, from time to time, what Mormons believe and why.

    If some women are exagerating about how fantastic their life is then eventually they will reap the consequences of their dishonesty, however, there's no need to belittle everyone's blog.

    Let us all be honest and look for the good!

  • granolagirl Draper, UT
    Jan. 19, 2011 12:54 p.m.

    I used to read these Mormon Mommy blogs; however, as time went on, I began to notice my self-esteem dropping a little each time I'd read them. Reading about "Jane with her perfect marriage to her hunky best friend husband" or "Jessica and all the money she had to buy her big nice house" made me feel inferior. One day I finally talked to my husband about it, and he advised me to stop reading them, after I showed him a couple of them. It took me awhile to take his advice, but in hindsight, I'm so glad I did. I wasted all that time focusing on what OTHERS had, when I should have been focusing on improving MYSELF. Since I have stopped, I feel much better.

    Here's the irony: "Jane" with her perfect marriage filed for divorce a month after I stopped reading her blog, and 6 weeks later, Jessica foreclosed on her house and filed for personal bankruptcy because they were living on debt. I only know this because I happen to know these two women personally.

    Things aren't always as they seem.

  • Mom of 2 Eagle Mountain, UT
    Jan. 19, 2011 12:22 p.m.

    I am honestly tired of mommy blogs. Really, they are all the same. I really don't care to hear about another playgroup or what happened at the school bus or how you saved a buck ninety-five using coupons. What I'd like to see is a blog for the working moms out there who don't have time to cook from scratch every night or do crafts. As of 2011 there are more women working out of the home than staying in it, so it would be refreshing to read a blog that relates to the majority. Except I forgot...working moms don't have time to blog.

  • Jo Nampa, ID
    Jan. 19, 2011 11:36 a.m.

    I find it interesting how often prozac comes up now when referring to mormon women. Does everyone forget that prescribed medication is a positive way of dealing with depression or anxiety? There is no question in those studies about what it is that has caused the anxiety or depression.
    If we keep with statistics we see that a majority of women are in some way sexually abused in their lives. My own experience with that had nothing to do with religion. A relative, a neighbor, a friend, a stranger, who knows? And that's my point.
    There may be a higher use of medications with LDS women. And hopefully it's because they're not drinking away their pain or masking it with some other vice. Hopefully it's because they know God loves them and has provided the intelligence and science to ease pains that were not brought on by themselves.
    Being a wife and mother is hard, it is tiring. But I've learned that the hardest things in life are the most rewarding. It is my joy.

  • ap south jordan, utah
    Jan. 19, 2011 11:11 a.m.

    I am an active, stay at home, mormon mommy. I can tell you the majority of these blogs are not the real picture. It is part of the mormon mom "culture" to make yourself look perfect. I know many bloggers who write about how perfect their marriage is while on the brink of divorce. They tell what a great family life they have while barely functioning as mothers. They blog about there vacations, expensive kids birthday party, or latest purchase, while they are filing for bankrupcy and drowning in debt. But hey if you blog it for everyone, it must be true.

  • Belching Cow Sandy, UT
    Jan. 19, 2011 9:56 a.m.

    @VocalLocal
    Demonizing sexuality? Hmmm.... thats interesting because I'm LDS and have always been taught the opposite. And I can guarantee you my wife doesn't demonize sexuality, whew! Guess there may be some women who act different in public, I don't know. But my wife never puts up a front. Of course she doesn't blog either. Anyway just wondering why my LDS experience seems to be so much different than yours.

  • AZRods Maricopa, AZ
    Jan. 19, 2011 9:52 a.m.

    Well vocaloco, your comment saying "particularly when the evidence that God has any expectations is essentially zip" pretty much exposes you and disqualifies you from this conversation.

    You apparently missed the boat when you were a member of the church. And sadly, your new lifestyle/religion/agenda does not reveal a kinder/wiser/better person now that you're not.

  • Uncle Charles Where freedom and liberty reign, utah
    Jan. 19, 2011 9:45 a.m.

    Mr. Lambert: actually there is far more truth to the analogy about porn and blogging than you seem to be aware.

    I'm going to include in blogging, social networks. Maybe you weren't but that's where I'm going with it because there have been many divorces because of social networks. People have found others to be interested in and old flames that they have reunited with.

    The technology advances we enjoy in our lives needs to be tempered with moderation. I'm reminded of the scripture in 2 Ne 9 where it says we shouldn't spend too much money on things that don't matter. I've added time in place of money and tried to teach that to my children who have only known these technology gadgets and don't know how to create their own fun outside the house.

  • one day... South Jordan, UT
    Jan. 19, 2011 9:05 a.m.

    1st GET A JOB!
    2nd People are so sick using computers and cell phones that they forget to spend QUALITY time, WORTH time for family, Church most important thing are Families, and these ladies (and guys too) spend to much time bloging and playing PS3!!!

    Take care of your family!!!

  • raybies Layton, UT
    Jan. 18, 2011 11:13 a.m.

    I think it's great these moms want to share online. I think it's sad the cynicism some have towards this sort of thing. IMO, it speaks to the tendency we have to view anything that is new, especially as it relates to technology, as corrupting, immoral, and untrustworthy.

    Truth is, this technology is a great blessing. It has a great potential for good. This is a good example. There are people out there that have no clue about having a family, raising kids, and all that, but they are intrigued by those who are doing so. That's the story here. It's a fascinating tendency in human nature.

    I find that most cynicism is rooted in personal failure and envy. They can't possibly be happy because I never had that.

  • county mom Monroe, UT
    Jan. 17, 2011 10:28 p.m.

    My husband and I have raised our children without blogs. I don't know how we did it. He worked out of the house, I worked in the house. We lived on one income and learned there are things you just don't need. The greater stress seems to be splitting yourself between a job and your family.

  • John Pack Lambert of Michigan Ypsilanti, MI
    Jan. 17, 2011 9:50 p.m.

    Independent,
    I would avoid your comparison. There is nothing wrong with blogging. The comparison is outrageous and just not justifiable.

    It is true that blogging, like anything else, can be overdone. However comparing it to pornography is an example of sensationalism on one side and trivializing on the other that is not justified.

    Spending large amounts of time blogging could become detrimental to a marriage, but it would not be poisonous to the basic bonds of the marriage the way pornography is.

  • John Pack Lambert of Michigan Ypsilanti, MI
    Jan. 17, 2011 9:39 p.m.

    VocalLocal is way off base in the talk of "demonizing sexuality". Within Mormon circles I have heard nothing but praise for marital intimacy.

    VocalLocal also attempts to paint a bunch of people they have never met as liars. Is this person claiming that they have ever met any of these Mormon bloggers? Not really.

  • Sarah B Bountiful, UT
    Jan. 17, 2011 8:39 p.m.

    The blogs that "keep it real" are very enjoyable. I dislike the ones where she is constantly bragging about how fabulous her life is. One young mom bragged about spending over a thousand dollars on a waterfilter. They were both college students at the time. Some brag about what amazing cooks they are or their fabulous vacations. It can be detrimental to other young moms, wondering why they don't have extra money to buy water filters and why can't they take these amazing vacations at this point in their lives. I even know one young mom was is on medicaid bragging about her vacation to disneyland and showing all her expensive souvenirs.

  • liahona Westbank, BC
    Jan. 17, 2011 7:27 p.m.

    Enough with the blogs - what a time wasters. Who cares what you do?!

  • Hubble65 Sandy, UT
    Jan. 17, 2011 5:39 p.m.

    Here's my take. I spend about 45 minutes a day online and not every day. I'm too busy living life with my spouse, my two teens, our interests both collectively and individually. I think by far we spend too much time online and not engaged in life actively. YMMV.

  • C1 Saint George, UT
    Jan. 17, 2011 4:54 p.m.

    I for one have learned to dislike the mommy blogs, most of all my wife's.

    She is drawn to the computer like a magnet... whenever she gets a few free minutes she is reading blogs or writing on her own blog.

    I used to not have a problem with it. We all need a little enjoyment and an escape from time to time. But as the time and resources spent on blogging have increased, it has become quite a distraction in our marriage and family over the last few years.

    In my opinion, my wife uses the internet as a way of escaping her problems. That's ok as long as it doesn't go too far. But lately it's gone too far. And I think many of her friends and family fit into the same category. Just my opinion.

  • Monsieur le prof Sandy, UT
    Jan. 17, 2011 4:34 p.m.

    Congratulations to those lovely women who bring joy to others through their positive messages on their blogs. None of us is perfect and we all may have our bad days, but I prefer to "count my many blessings" rather than look for the bad things that happened during the day...or judge others without having walked in their footsteps for many miles.

  • Independent Henderson, NV
    Jan. 17, 2011 3:57 p.m.

    "i know many mormon moms that are as addicted to blogging as some of the men are to porn."

    There is some truth to that. Social networking can be like porn for women. Men like to look. Women like to talk. Both of them can go too far.

  • Anne26 West Jordan, UT
    Jan. 17, 2011 3:01 p.m.

    When our first child was born 24 years ago, my husband and I made the decision that I would quit my job and be a stay at home mom. Luckily, we were able to make things work financially so that this was a possibility. Sure, we had to do without sometimes, but we both were invested in our decision, so the sacrifices were worth it.

    Looking back, I have to say that this decision was the right one for our family. Even with the tough days, I can say that I have no regrets.

    However, I think women are much too mean to one another, and we should all do more to support each another, regardless of our career choice. We need to stop the name calling and criticisms. I'm tired of those who only have ugliness to add to the world. I think we have all had our fill.

  • hawaiimom Kailua, HI
    Jan. 17, 2011 2:43 p.m.

    To VocalLocal

    You mistook my meaning about "rising above" and "putting a best face forward". They make the point that most of us are positive thinkers. I think it is honest to be able to let down some at home and with friends--we feel safe and know the person we "let down" with will still love us despite our complaining. I am glad you are a good enough friend that people can "let down" with you. But I also think you are generalizing waaaay too much. I think there are plenty of stay at home moms who do more than "endure". Our deceased prophet Gordon B. Hinckley never judged women in the church who had to work, he told them just to do the best they could. Here in Hawaii, I can think of only thing of a handful of women in our ward who stay at home. No one gives them grief, we just support them and love them and know they made a choice which was best for their family. If these friends of yours who are "enduring" made the choice to work, they would probably have the same negative things to say about work.

  • VocalLocal Bountiful, UT
    Jan. 17, 2011 2:04 p.m.

    Re: hawaiimom.
    I think your comments about 'rise above' or 'best face forward' make my point. This isn't describing something the mothers want in and of itself but rather something 'endured'. I don't have any problem with someone weighing the pros and cons and choosing to stay home and then making the best of the downs and savoring the ups. But I do think it's sad if a mother feels like God expects her to be a stay at home mom (particularly when the evidence that God has any expectations at all is essentially zip) and she abandons other preferences and puts on a facade to make it seem like her life is perfect. Again, where these mothers genuinely love their life and would choose it even if they hadn't been indoctrinated in their religious faith I have no problem with it and wish them all the best.

  • Independent Henderson, NV
    Jan. 17, 2011 1:58 p.m.

    I don't see anything wrong with putting on your best face in public. But I agree that many LDS people need to simplify. Family comes first. We don't need elaborate relief society activities and bulletin boards at the expense of our sanity. We don't need to spend hours and hours preparing a lesson when everything including questions is right there in the manual. We don't need to be earning our kid's Eagle Scout for him. What we need to do is have enough faith in the atonement of Jesus Christ to forgive ouselves and others when we're not perfect, which we never are. And we should have enough self-confidence to go out and use our God-given talents to accomplish what we want to in life without fear of failure or what everybody else might think. Anyone who acts pleasant at church and bad at home is not living the gospel. But the solution is not to start acting badly at church, it is to start acting better at home, and I think the LDS church does a wonderful job of helping people to do just that, if they are willing.

  • happymomto7 Saratoga Springs, UT
    Jan. 17, 2011 1:53 p.m.

    i think vocallocal is pretty dead on. i'm a mother to 7 and i do try to look happy and healthy when in public. but boy is it hard! but... I LOVE IT!
    i was a "rocket scientist" :> at NASA when i joined the church and quit working when i got married. being a mom and a loving wife is HARD!
    on another note, our bishop recently discouraged blogging because there is concern about too much time being spent on the computer and not enough time with family. i know many mormon moms that are as addicted to blogging as some of the men are to porn.
    very sad

  • aljmac Salt Lake City, UT
    Jan. 17, 2011 12:39 p.m.

    VocalLocal, of course there are women like the two you know. There are women like that in Mormondom and outside it. I *still* think in your second comment in this thread that you're painting with a broad brush.

    I think in general, most people put their best face on when in public, be it the office, the mommy play group, the salon, and yes, even at church.

    But frankly--and this is coming from a male--the Mormon mommy blogs I see show quite a diverse assemblage of voices. I see lots of them saying generally "My life is not perfect, but I enjoy it in spite of its flaws."

    You talk about financially-stressed husbands? I don't think Mormons have the corner on that market--with or without double incomes.

    I agree with a prior comment in this thread: you're seeing what you want to see.

  • VocalLocal Bountiful, UT
    Jan. 17, 2011 11:59 a.m.

    Re: Coach Biff
    I am not demeaning their talents or abilities. I'm in awe of what they accomplish. I am just saying that in my experience with my the many Mormon moms I have talked to and the two Mormon moms that I have shared the same house with they put on one face during Church and for neighbors and others who they interact with occassionally (including blogs) and then at home they are tired, frustrated and longing for adult interaction. Their husbands are also stressed financially. They have to act like it works for them because that is the cultural expectation. Also the high use of Prozac among populations with a high percentage of LDS is telling. If these women are genuinely happy in the Mormon lifestyle then I think that is great-I just hope they aren't like the Mormon mothers I've interacted with who admit they are overwhelmed and frustrated in private but who publicly act like the perfect happy family.

  • hawaiimom Kailua, HI
    Jan. 17, 2011 11:52 a.m.

    VocalLocal, who exactly are you talking to? Certainly not a wide enough range of women to make such generalizations. I have raised 5 kids, three out of the house, two teenagers still here. Sure there are challenges, always have been, but most of us are able to rise above and find the joy in motherhood. I have been exhausted raising a large family, I have craved other adult interaction, but my kids are and will always be my best companions (aside from my husband). I see those years as a young mommy as a phase and look back with such happiness, forgetting the hard stuff. I think most readers know that there is enough nitty gritty out there and that these mommy bloggers are putting their best face forward. So what? It never hurts to read uplifting things. They are focusing on the good, which is what you should do.

  • Coach Biff Lehi, UT
    Jan. 17, 2011 11:25 a.m.

    That's because you see what you want to see, VocalLocal. You have a predetermined vision of what these women are and then blather about it here with your thinly veiled hatred. And just what is the "demonization of sexuality" you list here? Isn't that how they became mother's? I'm a Mormon male married 22 years and I stand in awe of the talents and abilities of all these women including my wife. Is everything perfect in Mormondom? No. Is it a time proven way to true happiness? To these women it is. Who are you to say different?

  • VocalLocal Bountiful, UT
    Jan. 17, 2011 10:52 a.m.

    I'm sorry but personal experience suggest these Mormon mommies are usually putting on a facade. They want to appear happy and perfect for their friends and family but actually talk to them honestly and they are exhausted and starving for adult interaction. Their husbands are stressed being the sole financial support for their families. The strain of large families and religious demands along with demonization of sexuality takes it's tole on their intimate relationship. I hope there are those that are genuinely happy in the 'Mormon lifestyle' but my own personal experience and observation suggest it's not the plan of happiness it claims to be.