While it's great to lead such relaxing, domestic-oriented lives, I can't help
but be sad while reading these articles. It's perfectly fine to come home from a
stressful work day and relax by reading a dosage of a peaceful lifestyle. But
these bloggers themselves... are they ever going to do anything to change the
world besides trying to spread their religion through various means which now
include the internet? Perhaps it's because of the fact that I want to make a
difference for others - there is always something to do outside of the home; so
many people out there in need of food and care, people who aren't as privileged
as stereotypical rich, Mormon families whose wives can stay home while the
husband goes out there and works. It's also sad to me the portrayal of Mormon
women - and how women's lives should be in general - these bloggers are
creating. While it's great to do arts and crafts, recycled projects, activities
with children, etc, do these people ever think of the outside world? Will they
ever make a positive contribution to this world outside of religion? I highly
I am a stay-at-home mother. I can relate to the comments about it being hard. I
had a career before I joined the church; however, I grew up with latch key
friends and saw their saddness. My husband and I decided this was best for
us.I think lots of people are missing the point of this article.
Sad. I do not read these blogs constantly, but I do know that some have a great
impact. If a non-member is reading it and being exposed to the gospel in any
form then I say great! Look at Stephanie Nielson's blog. She has a link to give
away BOMs. She was blogging before her accident and continued to do so
afterwards.Yes, it is a hard job to give, give and then give when
you feel there isn't anymore to give. I am not 'Molly Mormon' nor will I ever
be. It's not in me to be like her. Yes, I miss working at times and yes, I miss
talking to adults. But would I change a thing about my decision to stay home?
Mormon Mommy blogging is just another form of exhibitionism. Why do flashers
flash? Streakers streak?To get attention.Now why would
someone who is truly as happy as these Mormon Mommy bloggers make themselves out
to be, be so deprived of attention as to have the need to engage in such
exhibitionism?And those who peer into their homes through blogs are
engaging in voyeurism!LDS are fond of claiming the Home is a refuge
from the mean, evil outside world. They are also fond of insisting that the Home
is sacred, like the LDS Temple.Yet these blogging mommies expose
their most "sacred" details of their Homes to the entire world for
criticism, ridicule, and evaluation.There is no illusion that these
blogs are real or true. That is not why they are popular. They are popular
because they are so UNreal and UNbelievable! They are fiction. As one Mormon
Mommy blog-follower put it:"Mormon blogs are an escapist
fantasy, a way to imagine a sweeter, simpler life.""The
church teaches that the Gospel is the only authentic path to true happiness. So
if you're a faithful follower, you better be happy, right?"It's
I can't think of anything more vain than these Mormon mommies putting up their
blogs hoping that somebody cares. I hope The Bretheren begin to see the ills of
these blogs and make it a point of discussion in future church meetings. It is
in plain words, a new form of social competition and one-up-manship amongst
mothers who can now take their competition past the neighborhood boundaries and
onto a global stage. Note to bloggers, nobody cares. Get a life and a real
purpose so that your days are not wasted trying to figure out which pictures to
uplod and how cute your comments about said pictures can be.
I'm sorry to say this but...I've seen a lot of "mormon" families that
show the "perfect" picture with their friends and at church on sunday.
It's like catholics in south america...a lot of them...but not all of them
follow the rules (I was one of them)
Wow, it looks like the majority of posters on here are guilty of the "crab
in the bucket" syndrome. Why is it that people, and women in particular,
pull each other down when one is trying to escape the bucket?Why not
try to lift one another and help each other out of the bucket?I read
the women's comments on here and they are the most degrading and dehumanizing
I've read in a long time.It looks like many have never read or
apparently don't comprehend the 10th commandment.Let me also suggest
a reading of 1 Cor 13 for those of you who are trying to suppress others."As I have loved you, love one another"....I think many on
this thread need to follow this simple, yet deep eternal principle.Let's build each other up, help each other, offer a hand of fellowship and
assistance. It will make you happier and help those around you.Matt
11:28-30. The yoke is giving service...let's all try it a little bit and see
what a better place this world will be. Are you game?
to...ap | 11:11 a.m. Jan. 19, 2011 South Jordan, Utah That's
true, I know many people (family and friends) that show a different reality in
facebook, blogs or even on sunday. it's sad but true.I don't like to
see that, but I think that is better for them to show money, properties and
celebrity life instead of working for the issue
I'm fine with people having mommy blogs, as long as they aren't blatantly lying
about their lives. If your marriage is on the rocks, don't type on your blog
that you have a perfect, blissful marriage. Just don't type about your marriage
at all - type about something else like a new recipe you tried or something.
It's not that hard - just stop pretending to be perfect! Nobody is perfect, and
that's just fine. I love myself the way I am - total imperfection and all :)
Sadly, there are many negative comments on this message board so far. Many
posters claim, essentially, that the vast majority of Mormon mom bloggers are
being dishonest and simply can't be that happy.I say, rubbish.Just because YOU may not be all that happy with your life does NOT mean
that they can't be happy. Besides, I'm sure that many bloggers post about the
tough times, too. And yet, that must be balanced with revealing sensitive,
private information. If you were a blogger yourself, would YOU want the whole
world to know that you and your spouse got into a painful argument last night?
Of course not.The bottom line is that no one's life is a sweet dream
at all times and these blogs do a lot of good in helping Mormon mothers feel
connected to their fellow sisters as well as sharing, from time to time, what
Mormons believe and why. If some women are exagerating about how
fantastic their life is then eventually they will reap the consequences of their
dishonesty, however, there's no need to belittle everyone's blog.Let
us all be honest and look for the good!
I used to read these Mormon Mommy blogs; however, as time went on, I began to
notice my self-esteem dropping a little each time I'd read them. Reading about
"Jane with her perfect marriage to her hunky best friend husband" or
"Jessica and all the money she had to buy her big nice house" made me
feel inferior. One day I finally talked to my husband about it, and he advised
me to stop reading them, after I showed him a couple of them. It took me awhile
to take his advice, but in hindsight, I'm so glad I did. I wasted all that time
focusing on what OTHERS had, when I should have been focusing on improving
MYSELF. Since I have stopped, I feel much better.Here's the irony:
"Jane" with her perfect marriage filed for divorce a month after I
stopped reading her blog, and 6 weeks later, Jessica foreclosed on her house and
filed for personal bankruptcy because they were living on debt. I only know this
because I happen to know these two women personally.Things aren't
always as they seem.
I am honestly tired of mommy blogs. Really, they are all the same. I really
don't care to hear about another playgroup or what happened at the school bus or
how you saved a buck ninety-five using coupons. What I'd like to see is a blog
for the working moms out there who don't have time to cook from scratch every
night or do crafts. As of 2011 there are more women working out of the home
than staying in it, so it would be refreshing to read a blog that relates to the
majority. Except I forgot...working moms don't have time to blog.
I find it interesting how often prozac comes up now when referring to mormon
women. Does everyone forget that prescribed medication is a positive way of
dealing with depression or anxiety? There is no question in those studies about
what it is that has caused the anxiety or depression. If we keep with
statistics we see that a majority of women are in some way sexually abused in
their lives. My own experience with that had nothing to do with religion. A
relative, a neighbor, a friend, a stranger, who knows? And that's my point.
There may be a higher use of medications with LDS women. And hopefully
it's because they're not drinking away their pain or masking it with some other
vice. Hopefully it's because they know God loves them and has provided the
intelligence and science to ease pains that were not brought on by
themselves.Being a wife and mother is hard, it is tiring. But I've
learned that the hardest things in life are the most rewarding. It is my joy.
I am an active, stay at home, mormon mommy. I can tell you the majority of
these blogs are not the real picture. It is part of the mormon mom
"culture" to make yourself look perfect. I know many bloggers who
write about how perfect their marriage is while on the brink of divorce. They
tell what a great family life they have while barely functioning as mothers.
They blog about there vacations, expensive kids birthday party, or latest
purchase, while they are filing for bankrupcy and drowning in debt. But hey if
you blog it for everyone, it must be true.
@VocalLocalDemonizing sexuality? Hmmm.... thats interesting because I'm
LDS and have always been taught the opposite. And I can guarantee you my wife
doesn't demonize sexuality, whew! Guess there may be some women who act
different in public, I don't know. But my wife never puts up a front. Of
course she doesn't blog either. Anyway just wondering why my LDS experience
seems to be so much different than yours.
Well vocaloco, your comment saying "particularly when the evidence that God
has any expectations is essentially zip" pretty much exposes you and
disqualifies you from this conversation.You apparently missed the
boat when you were a member of the church. And sadly, your new
lifestyle/religion/agenda does not reveal a kinder/wiser/better person now that
Mr. Lambert: actually there is far more truth to the analogy about porn and
blogging than you seem to be aware.I'm going to include in blogging,
social networks. Maybe you weren't but that's where I'm going with it because
there have been many divorces because of social networks. People have found
others to be interested in and old flames that they have reunited with.The technology advances we enjoy in our lives needs to be tempered with
moderation. I'm reminded of the scripture in 2 Ne 9 where it says we shouldn't
spend too much money on things that don't matter. I've added time in place of
money and tried to teach that to my children who have only known these
technology gadgets and don't know how to create their own fun outside the house.
1st GET A JOB!2nd People are so sick using computers and cell phones that
they forget to spend QUALITY time, WORTH time for family, Church most important
thing are Families, and these ladies (and guys too) spend to much time bloging
and playing PS3!!!Take care of your family!!!
I think it's great these moms want to share online. I think it's sad the
cynicism some have towards this sort of thing. IMO, it speaks to the tendency we
have to view anything that is new, especially as it relates to technology, as
corrupting, immoral, and untrustworthy. Truth is, this technology is
a great blessing. It has a great potential for good. This is a good example.
There are people out there that have no clue about having a family, raising
kids, and all that, but they are intrigued by those who are doing so. That's the
story here. It's a fascinating tendency in human nature. I find that
most cynicism is rooted in personal failure and envy. They can't possibly be
happy because I never had that.
My husband and I have raised our children without blogs. I don't know how we did
it. He worked out of the house, I worked in the house. We lived on one income
and learned there are things you just don't need. The greater stress seems to be
splitting yourself between a job and your family.
Independent, I would avoid your comparison. There is nothing wrong with
blogging. The comparison is outrageous and just not justifiable.
It is true that blogging, like anything else, can be overdone. However
comparing it to pornography is an example of sensationalism on one side and
trivializing on the other that is not justified. Spending large
amounts of time blogging could become detrimental to a marriage, but it would
not be poisonous to the basic bonds of the marriage the way pornography is.
VocalLocal is way off base in the talk of "demonizing sexuality".
Within Mormon circles I have heard nothing but praise for marital intimacy. VocalLocal also attempts to paint a bunch of people they have never
met as liars. Is this person claiming that they have ever met any of these
Mormon bloggers? Not really.
The blogs that "keep it real" are very enjoyable. I dislike the ones
where she is constantly bragging about how fabulous her life is. One young mom
bragged about spending over a thousand dollars on a waterfilter. They were both
college students at the time. Some brag about what amazing cooks they are or
their fabulous vacations. It can be detrimental to other young moms, wondering
why they don't have extra money to buy water filters and why can't they take
these amazing vacations at this point in their lives. I even know one young
mom was is on medicaid bragging about her vacation to disneyland and showing all
her expensive souvenirs.
Enough with the blogs - what a time wasters. Who cares what you do?!
Here's my take. I spend about 45 minutes a day online and not every day. I'm too
busy living life with my spouse, my two teens, our interests both collectively
and individually. I think by far we spend too much time online and not engaged
in life actively. YMMV.
I for one have learned to dislike the mommy blogs, most of all my wife's. She is drawn to the computer like a magnet... whenever she gets a few
free minutes she is reading blogs or writing on her own blog. I
used to not have a problem with it. We all need a little enjoyment and an
escape from time to time. But as the time and resources spent on blogging have
increased, it has become quite a distraction in our marriage and family over the
last few years. In my opinion, my wife uses the internet as a way
of escaping her problems. That's ok as long as it doesn't go too far. But
lately it's gone too far. And I think many of her friends and family fit into
the same category. Just my opinion.
Congratulations to those lovely women who bring joy to others through their
positive messages on their blogs. None of us is perfect and we all may have our
bad days, but I prefer to "count my many blessings" rather than look
for the bad things that happened during the day...or judge others without having
walked in their footsteps for many miles.
"i know many mormon moms that are as addicted to blogging as some of the
men are to porn."There is some truth to that. Social networking
can be like porn for women. Men like to look. Women like to talk. Both of them
can go too far.
When our first child was born 24 years ago, my husband and I made the decision
that I would quit my job and be a stay at home mom. Luckily, we were able to
make things work financially so that this was a possibility. Sure, we had to do
without sometimes, but we both were invested in our decision, so the sacrifices
were worth it.Looking back, I have to say that this decision was the
right one for our family. Even with the tough days, I can say that I have no
regrets. However, I think women are much too mean to one another,
and we should all do more to support each another, regardless of our career
choice. We need to stop the name calling and criticisms. I'm tired of those who
only have ugliness to add to the world. I think we have all had our fill.
To VocalLocalYou mistook my meaning about "rising above"
and "putting a best face forward". They make the point that most of
us are positive thinkers. I think it is honest to be able to let down some at
home and with friends--we feel safe and know the person we "let down"
with will still love us despite our complaining. I am glad you are a good
enough friend that people can "let down" with you. But I also think
you are generalizing waaaay too much. I think there are plenty of stay at home
moms who do more than "endure". Our deceased prophet Gordon B.
Hinckley never judged women in the church who had to work, he told them just to
do the best they could. Here in Hawaii, I can think of only thing of a handful
of women in our ward who stay at home. No one gives them grief, we just support
them and love them and know they made a choice which was best for their family.
If these friends of yours who are "enduring" made the choice to work,
they would probably have the same negative things to say about work.
Re: hawaiimom.I think your comments about 'rise above' or 'best face
forward' make my point. This isn't describing something the mothers want in and
of itself but rather something 'endured'. I don't have any problem with someone
weighing the pros and cons and choosing to stay home and then making the best of
the downs and savoring the ups. But I do think it's sad if a mother feels like
God expects her to be a stay at home mom (particularly when the evidence that
God has any expectations at all is essentially zip) and she abandons other
preferences and puts on a facade to make it seem like her life is perfect.
Again, where these mothers genuinely love their life and would choose it even if
they hadn't been indoctrinated in their religious faith I have no problem with
it and wish them all the best.
I don't see anything wrong with putting on your best face in public. But I agree
that many LDS people need to simplify. Family comes first. We don't need
elaborate relief society activities and bulletin boards at the expense of our
sanity. We don't need to spend hours and hours preparing a lesson when
everything including questions is right there in the manual. We don't need to be
earning our kid's Eagle Scout for him. What we need to do is have enough faith
in the atonement of Jesus Christ to forgive ouselves and others when we're not
perfect, which we never are. And we should have enough self-confidence to go out
and use our God-given talents to accomplish what we want to in life without fear
of failure or what everybody else might think. Anyone who acts pleasant at
church and bad at home is not living the gospel. But the solution is not to
start acting badly at church, it is to start acting better at home, and I think
the LDS church does a wonderful job of helping people to do just that, if they
i think vocallocal is pretty dead on. i'm a mother to 7 and i do try to look
happy and healthy when in public. but boy is it hard! but... I LOVE IT! i was a "rocket scientist" :> at NASA when i joined the church
and quit working when i got married. being a mom and a loving wife is HARD!
on another note, our bishop recently discouraged blogging because there is
concern about too much time being spent on the computer and not enough time with
family. i know many mormon moms that are as addicted to blogging as some of the
men are to porn.very sad
VocalLocal, of course there are women like the two you know. There are women
like that in Mormondom and outside it. I *still* think in your second comment in
this thread that you're painting with a broad brush. I think in
general, most people put their best face on when in public, be it the office,
the mommy play group, the salon, and yes, even at church.But
frankly--and this is coming from a male--the Mormon mommy blogs I see show quite
a diverse assemblage of voices. I see lots of them saying generally "My
life is not perfect, but I enjoy it in spite of its flaws."You
talk about financially-stressed husbands? I don't think Mormons have the corner
on that market--with or without double incomes.I agree with a prior
comment in this thread: you're seeing what you want to see.
Re: Coach BiffI am not demeaning their talents or abilities. I'm in awe
of what they accomplish. I am just saying that in my experience with my the
many Mormon moms I have talked to and the two Mormon moms that I have shared the
same house with they put on one face during Church and for neighbors and others
who they interact with occassionally (including blogs) and then at home they are
tired, frustrated and longing for adult interaction. Their husbands are also
stressed financially. They have to act like it works for them because that is
the cultural expectation. Also the high use of Prozac among populations with a
high percentage of LDS is telling. If these women are genuinely happy in the
Mormon lifestyle then I think that is great-I just hope they aren't like the
Mormon mothers I've interacted with who admit they are overwhelmed and
frustrated in private but who publicly act like the perfect happy family.
VocalLocal, who exactly are you talking to? Certainly not a wide enough range
of women to make such generalizations. I have raised 5 kids, three out of the
house, two teenagers still here. Sure there are challenges, always have been,
but most of us are able to rise above and find the joy in motherhood. I have
been exhausted raising a large family, I have craved other adult interaction,
but my kids are and will always be my best companions (aside from my husband).
I see those years as a young mommy as a phase and look back with such happiness,
forgetting the hard stuff. I think most readers know that there is enough nitty
gritty out there and that these mommy bloggers are putting their best face
forward. So what? It never hurts to read uplifting things. They are focusing
on the good, which is what you should do.
That's because you see what you want to see, VocalLocal. You have a
predetermined vision of what these women are and then blather about it here with
your thinly veiled hatred. And just what is the "demonization of
sexuality" you list here? Isn't that how they became mother's? I'm a
Mormon male married 22 years and I stand in awe of the talents and abilities of
all these women including my wife. Is everything perfect in Mormondom? No. Is
it a time proven way to true happiness? To these women it is. Who are you to
I'm sorry but personal experience suggest these Mormon mommies are usually
putting on a facade. They want to appear happy and perfect for their friends
and family but actually talk to them honestly and they are exhausted and
starving for adult interaction. Their husbands are stressed being the sole
financial support for their families. The strain of large families and
religious demands along with demonization of sexuality takes it's tole on their
intimate relationship. I hope there are those that are genuinely happy in the
'Mormon lifestyle' but my own personal experience and observation suggest it's
not the plan of happiness it claims to be.