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Comments about ‘Marriage on the decline in Middle America’

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Published: Tuesday, Dec. 28 2010 11:00 a.m. MST

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Walt Nicholes
Orem, UT

As long as I can remember there's been the expression: "Why buy the cow when you can get the milk for free."

Governments no longer care whether the milk is free or not. Many churches preach against immorality, but don't really DO anything about it. Women are preconditioned to believe that their value to men (from whom most want desperately to get approval and love) is primarily sexual, and so they "give in" early in a relationship to prove their worth. And in the process destroy their worth.

Meanwhile men are preconditioned to demand these favors of women, and to dump any woman who doesn't "put out."

And now we have civil unions - allowing men to have whatever benefits there are left to marriage without the long term obligations that come with it. And there is absolutely no legal penalty for cohabitation without marriage.

It is truly a messed up world.

Maybe letting the best men marry more than one woman wasn't such a bad idea after all.

American Spartan
Taylorsville, Utah

If the article is to be trusted, the steep decline of marriage as well as rise of premarital sexual relations (fornication), marriage instability, divorce and out of wedlock childbearing is attributed to the tidal wave of Liberalism that promote corrupted values since the "radical & freelove" 60's.

Liberalism have a direct connection to the sinister element which is better left unmentioned. Suffice to say Hollywood, the media, and liberal educators (pushing obscene sex education and revisionist history & promoting shame of "privilege") are part of the crisis that facilitate Cultural Marxism designed to corrupt the moral and social value system from within through deconstruction of Christian values as rigid, obsolete and quaint.

Communists (another word for unabashed liberals) consider sexual morality contemptible. They thrive to condemn traditional marriage as an obsolete item, except for homosexuals which they view as "progressive."

The way to denigrate and destroy favorable view of traditional heterosexual marriage is to corrupt children and youth's mind with cultural Marxist indoctrination that premarital sex (safe sex or not) is permissible and "fun."

A mere 5 decades ago, such dissolute behavior is frowned upon as socially contemptible. Now perversion & corruption are embraced, thanks to adverse influence.

JFFR
Salt Lake City, UT

The problem is all these young people are "hanging out" too much.

Opinionated
Sandy, UT

The decline of moral values has been prophesied by prophets. This should come as no surprise. Oh wait, maybe these folks not choosing marriage are also choosing celebacy...yeah right.

Mountanman
Hayden, ID

Scientific studies have shown that the largest demographic in our nation living in poverty are single mothers (even President Obama said that). Some 70% of crime committed in our cities are done by young men with no father in the home! Want to fight crime and poverty? Live the law of chastity! No amount of welfare, no amount of police, no amount of prisons will solve our problems! Only obedience to God's laws will solve our growing problems. Some will scoff at this, but in the meantime our social problems continue to grow out of our sexual immorality. Just wait until the next generation, where marriage and family values grow ever more dim!

Pagan
Salt Lake City, UT

Until the 'traditional example' of marriage actually follows it's own discription of 'morality' by...

being celibate
waiting until marriage to have sex
getting married
not cheating on a spouse
and not getting divorced

the more and more people will continue too, and rightfully so, question what exactly those 'morals' mean & why it should be followed, when no one is doing so.

With zero enforcement or consequence to simply NOT do some, or all of these things.

Notice, no mention of orientation is needed in this discription.

Not to mention those Americans who pay taxes for those over 1,100 rights of marriage given to others...

but denied to some.

Otis Spurlock
Ogden, UT

It sounds like traditional marriage is destroying traditional marriage.

Maryquilter
Farmington, UT

There is no doubt in my mind that the good old basics are the foundation of a happy society, regardless of your religion or political leanings.(Mr. Spartan- I believe in the following ideals EVEN though I am a Democrat)

Education, hard work, commitment in all areas of life, service to others, chastity before and after marriage, community involvement, honesty and the teaching of these principles to our children.

It only makes sense that those raised in stable families who go to college, are able to get a stable job, who remain faithful once married, etc. will be more "successful" in life. This does not mean that those who grow up without those advantages can't attain the same goals, it may just be more challenging for them. Seeing good examples goes a long way.

I also feel very strongly that reading regularly teaches us much about the world, tolerance and understanding of others, how to overcome challenges, etc. You can learn ANYTHING through reading, and those who don't read seem more narrow-minded and easily swayed by nincompoops like Rush Limbaugh, instead of being able to develop well-rounded, informed, and educated opinions.

SAC
Salt Lake City, UT

"Women are preconditioned to believe that their value to men (from whom most want desperately to get approval and love) is primarily sexual,"

Walt I agree with you. I had fallen into that trap myself and noticed it more when a dear friend told me that no man would bother with her unless she put out. I reminded her that any man who expected sex from her without marriage didn't have respect for himself or her.

Bill in Nebraska
Maryville, MO

When society gets back to following the commandments of God, then it will bring peace, tranquility and joy into the world. Wickedness never was happiness.

Marriage is the sanctity between a man and woman for the purpose of replenishing the earth under the rules and laws our Lord has set. When those are followed then peace and tranquility is in the world.

Traditional marriage hasn't hurt itself, it is society's welcoming of illicit sexual intercourse and all the deviations there of. Yes, Pagan I do mean you in that. This is what is wrong with our society and has been for the past 40 years. Women who see themselves as sex objects are very mistaken as to their role in life.

We shall grow as a society once many of the ills are replaced by God fearing people who are willing to obey the laws and commandments of our Lord. It really doesn't matter about religion, it matters about the ills of society.

Maryquilter
Farmington, UT

Walt and SAC: Maybe impressionable teenage girls and young adult girls think boys don't want them for anything except sex ( sadly may be true for many boys ), but I don't personally know any adult women who feel that way. Sadly, with the influence of modern media of all kinds these days, I think women simply accept that premarital sex is a natural part of a relationship. This doesn't necessarily mean that they feel they are of no value to their man if they are unwilling to have sex, it is simply accepted in general by both sexes that they will be intimate before marriage. It seems like, for the most part, unless people have very strong religious values ( and sometimes not even then), there simply isn't a commitment to chastity before marriage. For most people I think it has become more complicated due to current moral values, and not so simple as " why buy the cow if the milk is free"? You and I may see lots of "black and white", but most see lots of grey in-between.

Pagan
Salt Lake City, UT

'When society gets back to following the commandments of God, then it will bring peace, tranquility and joy into the world. (sic) Yes, Pagan I do mean you in that.' - Bill in Nebraska | 12:17 p.m.

Well, so long as your not targeting anyone specifically.

Tell me Bill I have two questions.

1) By 'God' do you mean the catholic god Jehova, or the Hindu god Karishna, or the Nordic god Odin?

Because if you don't specify, how can one know.

2) If this claim, that following the commandments of god, will bring 'tranquility and joy'...

did you mean during the crusades...

or the inqusition?

That same claim has been used over the last 2,000 years.

Still waiting.

There. I didn't even have to mention your name with 'deviations.'

Thanks for keeping things civil DSNews.

diddy
North Ogden, Utah

Does anyone have an concrete information that people now are more or less promiscuous than they have been in the past? Sometimes we assume things rather than having hard facts about them. I don't know that we can point to the lack of "morality" as the culprit to people failing to marry. I know that would be convenient for a number of groups and people but without evidence I prefer to do more research. I do know of a report that stated that teenage pregnancy is actually down. I personally believe people have been promiscuous throughout the centuries. I think the free flow of information makes it appear that it's a bigger problem now then it was in previous generations.

Anyone have some research?

Ridgely
Magna, UT

This article does a great job highlighting the systemic problems impacting marriage like poverty, lack of social integration, education and so on, but most of these comments reduce the issue down to the most basic religious abstractions.

It's that kind of oversimplification and prescriptive thinking (i.e. everything can be solved by the old testament) that polarizes these issues beyond reach, so that no constructive, real world solutions can come forward, or actual progress is ever made.

We're left with distracting single issue pressure groups like the National Organization for Marriage hawking bumper stickers and falsely blaming gays for the demise of heterosexual marriage, when the causes are so much more complex and nuanced.

Where's the follow up story offering remedies and methods of solidifying all families and all marriages?

Sutton
Cedar City, UT

"Does anyone have an concrete information that people now are more or less promiscuous than they have been in the past?"

----

No we aren't anymore promiscuous then we have been in the past, people are just "talking" about it more, bringing out in the open.

Religion has to tell everybody that the world is "falling apart"... its how they get money.

Howard Beal
Provo, UT

In reality the current economics of the last 50 years have attacked marriage and family. It is hard to stay married in these uncertain times and people seem to be avoiding the institution altogether. But since people seem to enjoy, want or need sex, they have it (too) often not in the confines of marriage and committed relationships.

The economy attacks marriage itself as now it often takes both spouses working not just their own job but perhaps one or two other jobs to make ends meat. This means less time with each other and less time with their own children. Money problems are the leading cause of divorce, more so than infidelity, and the economic pressures on the middle and lower classes of today are making it difficult on families. Children are less supervised than ever, leaving television and video games and hanging out at the mall prevalent, and the values of each very questionable.

Back in agrarian times, the economy itself valued family and marriage. The family worked together to make the farm work. Now the family heads off in all directions to bring home the bacon, increasingly becoming disconnected with each other and their children.

Utes21
Salt Lake City, ut

Man pagan you must just look anywhere you can troll your anti everything setiment. We get that you are gay and support gay marriage but you dont need to constantly attack religion cause religion doesnt agree with you. You will live a much happier life learning how to let go of grudges and live your life how you see fit without attacking others. Hate is never the answer.

Full-on double rainbow
Bluffdale, UT

@utes21
I don't know why people with an opposing opinions get labeled as "anti." Why not address Pagans questions or not make a comment at all? There are a few regular posters that I will skip because I hardly ever care to see what they have to say. There are also regular posters that I regulaly disagree with but I read theyre posts because I find them insightful or interesting. I get tired of an opposing opinion labled as "anti, hateful" etc because you disagree with it.

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