Comments about ‘'Stand-in' dads to blame’

Sounds like a pretty good argument for letting gay people get married.

Sorry Frank… What it shows is the need for real families of a MOM and DAD. Not made up ones that even fly in the face of nature.

Dear Mr. Mero:

I call bull crap and challenge you to provide any data from reliable sources that supports your claims.

PS - data from your "think tank" is biased and therefore not reliable.

once again mero takes a short cut through reality ignoring the reasons women find thenself's single and needing support, the social forces that give men the stupid idea that it is evre alright to abuse someone ect......

Why does Paul Mero always have to say he is the president of the Sutherland Institute? Does he have no ideas of his own, or does he think that adding that information will make his opinions more credible? I happen to agree with him on this one (as opposed to most of his letters), but it annoys me that he tries to throw the weight of an ultra-conservative think tank behind his every pronouncement. Why not just let your ideas stand on their own merit?

huh? How is that going to put a biological dad in the home?

Inviting in stand in dads is a symptom of other problems, not the primary cause of abuse in these situations. How will you support families where there are problems? Provide more education and training? Provide child care so mothers can work to support their families? Take other affirmative steps to help break the chains of poverty and ignorance? Until you do, stop the preaching and do something real to help these families.

@typical shortcuts 6:10

You raise a good question about the reasons women end up single; that is indeed an important component of the conversation. But that in no way contradicts what Mero said. In fact, if you continue his line of thinking, you do end up wondering why the women were single to begin with; and the high rate of single parents is a huge part of the picture.

No one can include every facet of such a complex question in a two-paragraph letter to the editor. He made a narrow, specific assertion.

Like Maud, I wonder if there are actual data to back up the claim. Unlike Maud, I think Mero makes an interesting and probably valid assertion.

So, I did a little research.

Mr. Mero is half right.

Step-fathers and men who are unrelated to a child are more likely to abuse that child than a bio-father. (Not that bio-fathers don't abuse - they do. It is just more likely for a man who is not related.) Adoptive fathers are in the same class as bio-fathers.

However, mothers - including step-mothers - are more likely (except in cases of sexual abuse) to abuse children then even non-related males.

So, in order of likelihood to abuse:

step-mothers
mothers
step-fathers
fathers

Now, I wonder what Mr. Mero thinks we should do with this information?

Kick all parents out of the house and turn the kids over to the government to raise. We are already a good way down that path. We have kicked black fathers out of the home and the government is raising those kids & it is turning out well.

Like Mr. Mero, YOU are also only half-right. The reason mothers and step-mothers are more likely to abuse their children is because on average they spend a lot more time with the children than fathers and step-fathers. This makes them more likely to lose their tempers more often.

If you normalize the data by time spent with the children, this is the order of likelihood to abuse:

step-fathers
step-mothers
fathers
mothers

Why is there constant bashing on abusive men and "Fathers"?

I've seen far more damage from women and "MOMS" in my life than men and Dads.

The men I've known who've walked away from relationships wasn't because of sex, but from having to live with critical, screaming abusive women.

The children can't "legally" are trapped.

Where is this place that you have seen Paul?
Where children are conceived to loving, married couples...
Where divorce is a word not found in the dictionary...
It sounds wonderful. It is not Utah.

Maud, you are my comment section MVP of the day. Very strong work. With just a small amount of research you blew Mero's argument out of the water and exposed the fundemental flaw with "think tanks" such as Sutherland.

These types of orginazations base their "studies" of issues on strong ideology, which, in their minds, allows them to present very complex issues, such as domestic violence, in vastly oversimplified terms, which also leads them to omit from their conclusions, as you showed, very basic information.

In their zeal to demonize boyfriends of single women, in trying to make their argument for traditional families, they neglected to mention the main perpetrators of the violence as well as forgeting to mention that by far most stepfathers and boyfriends of single mothers are very loving, caring, and nuturing father figures. (but of course most fathers and mothers, single or otherwise, and stepmothers are great parents also.)

All the same, strong work Maud, Mero could learn a thing or two from you.

I don't know....

Mothers;
Drowning their kids in the tub,
or
killing them and stuffing them in a freezer ranks right up there.

Dear Mr Mero;

Please provide data for your opinion. KTHNXBAI

As one of the founding father's of the father's rights movement in America, Paul T. Mero, President
Sutherland Institute of Salt Lake City, Utah, women create more domestic violence against men then men do to them. That's a fact. To ean domestic violence in America is simple, the man tells the woman, he's got a STD, caught it from her, moves out, takes the children with him, "POOF", no more domestic violence. That's the cure.

So?

Snow White
Cinderella
Cruella DeVil
Maleficent - (Sleeping Beauty)
Ursula
etc., etc., etc....


Did Walt Disney hate step-moms and women,
or is this just an all too common trend?


BTW, I grow tired on the constant men bashing,
men are stupid,
men are uncaring, selfish, clods.


~ an offended Dad

Correction

Brother Chuck Schroeder | 9:48 a.m. March 5, 2010
As one of the founding father's of the father's rights movement in America, Paul T. Mero, President
Sutherland Institute of Salt Lake City, Utah, women create more domestic violence against men then men do to them. That's a fact. To ead domestic violence in America is simple, the man tells the woman, he's got a STD, caught it from her, moves out, takes the children with him, "POOF", no more domestic violence. That's the cure.

NO MORE fighting.

End of the w-oman report.

It's all their fault anyway.