Deseret News | LDS officials to meet with gay group

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LDS officials to meet with gay group

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To californian 5:10 pm | 9:35 p.m. April 7, 2008

Ever hear the term "they want their cake and eat it too"?

Reap what you sow (addendum) | 9:35 p.m. April 7, 2008

Oh yeah...

Some fruits are sweet and the others bitter.

Some are pretty tasty now and then become bitter later.

Some are sweet now and sweeter later.

Look at the menu and use wisdom when you order. It is your choice. What do you think was intended by Mother Nature?

church doctrine | 9:45 p.m. April 7, 2008

Sorry 9:31 but God's doctrine has never changed. God's doctrine is the same today, yesterday and tomorrow.

The gospel is eternal, folks. It's always been; always will be.

Polygamy isn't being practiced on earth right now, but the doctrine hasn't been changed. I'm confident that it will return again to fulfil the plan of happiness.

It's really shocking to see some of the basic gospel principles are so misunderstood.

for those who cop the "judge not that ye be not judged" excuse...actually read the whole verse and the few after it, particularly the JST part....

To you I'd say, do you understand, thou shalt not commit adultery/fornication? or Mark 10 "But from the beginning of the creation God made them male and female.
7 For this cause shall a man leave his father and mother, and cleave to his wife;
8 And they twain shall be one flesh: so then they are no more twain, but one flesh."

How do those scriptures get justified away?

Comments continue below

Anonymous | 9:56 p.m. April 7, 2008

I'm truly thankful for my parents. And, I am also thankful for kind and caring neighbors and relatives who helped raise me, whether they were married or not.

Even people who are not parents can still be very important and contributing members of society.

I really think the world has enough people that humanity will still be able to carry on, even if not everyone has children of their own.

There are times when it is actually beneficial to have a few extra helping hands. I don't understand why people continue to de-value anyone who is not a parent.

About Time | 9:57 p.m. April 7, 2008

As a member of the LDS church (outside of Utah, so I don't see the issues as often) I'm very happy to see this meeting take place. While there are certain boundaries that cannot be crossed by the church in opening their arms to this community it is very important to remember that every single soul on this earth (heterosexual or homosexual) is a child of our Father in Heaven and should be treated as such.

Those that commit other acts we see as sins do not face the same retribution and condemnation as our gay brothers. "Love one another" includes all of God's children and hopefully the two sides can come to an understanding which will help Affirmation better understand the church's view...The church better understand Affirmation...and all members of the LDS faith treat their non-LDS brethren (and sisters) like children of God, independent of lifestyle.

Love the sinner...not the sin.

Re: Adam 8:40 pm | 9:58 p.m. April 7, 2008

There is a big difference between forgiveness of sin through the "process" of true repentance, and forgiving sin through acceptance. Clearly the first is possible, (see Elder Scott's talk) - the second isn't.

bearhorse | 9:59 p.m. April 7, 2008

I thought the church believed in modern revelation, isn't that one of the articles of faith? How sad that so many profess to know God's views. There seems to be a lot of personal judgement here. I guess modern revelation was ok in Joseph Smith times, but not now???? I wonder how many of you would leave the church and lose faith if there was again some modern revelation only in this area. Was not allowing blacks to hold the priesthood modern revelation???????

Anonymous | 10:09 p.m. April 7, 2008

It is funny to me that talk of "dialogue" between the two groups instantly results in the fear, or for some hope, that the church is going to change one position or another. Anyone out there believe that Affirmation has an open enough mind to accept any of the church's heretofore official position? Maybe Affirmation can or should walk away from the dialogue with a greater acceptance of why the church believes and teaches what it does about homosexuality.

My suspicion is that those who support the homosexual agenda will say "No...and Affirmation has no obligation to do so." This is a double standard and is why there will really be no true dialogue on this matter.

Josephs Myth | 10:11 p.m. April 7, 2008

I find it telling and embarassing that the DesNews edited several paragraphs out of this AP story before printing it. I would paste it here, but it's longer than the 200 word limit. Go read it in "the other" paper. It's the comments of Dr. Rob Killian in Seattle about he was treated as a gay Mormon.

To "Church Doctrine" | 10:11 p.m. April 7, 2008

qDo you watch the news? Do you see how much harm your supposed "revelation" has caused. I truly feel sorry for you. And, I would like to add, polygamy is not coming back...it's on it's way totally out. Thank Goodness!

serenity | 10:32 p.m. April 7, 2008

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference!!!

Anonymous | 10:50 p.m. April 7, 2008

I the Lord will forgive whom I will forgive but of you it is required that you forgive ALL men.

Sex | 11:20 p.m. April 7, 2008

DON'T THINK ABOUT IT , DON'T EVEN TALK ABOUT IT!

Radical to the Max! | 12:09 a.m. April 8, 2008

I'm glad they're meeting. We can believe what we believe, but I hope we can always at least sit down and talk. Not that policies need to change. But, it's cool the church will at least meet with them. And not that the Lord needs any PR, but these sorts of measures are very good for showing people that we are reasonable. That is, that we'll listen to what people want before we tell them that we won't give them what they want. Yes. I think it's a VERY positive thing. Meeting and talking doesn't threaten anyone.

Tendencies... | 12:22 a.m. April 8, 2008

I wasn't born with homesexual tendencies, but I was born with tendencies to be selfish. When I turned 19, I wanted to hang out with friends in college and do what I wanted to do, what was fun for me... I didn't want to go on a mission and serve others, but it was a commandment from the Lord. I did what was asked of me, and I learned to overcome my selfish desires and learned to love serving others.

People born with homosexual tendencies need to do the same... If you'd rather be dating/holding hands/kissing/having sexual relationships with members of the same gender, doing what is "fun" for you, then you need to look at the commandment and follow it. It may be tough at first to step away from the "tendencies you were born with," but you may learn to love having heterosexual relationships as the Lord commanded, just as I learned to put off my selfish tendencies and learned to love others.

Affirmation doesn't necessarily need to have a talk with Church Leaders, they just need to read the scriptures and do what is commanded of the Lord, just as church leaders will ask them to do.

Anonymous | 12:43 a.m. April 8, 2008

I was surprized to see a meeting set by the church and gays, but I think it is a good thing. I dont think either side expects more than to understand each other more and to help people act with more understanding toward each other. That is a good goal in every kind of interaction between people.

Since depression and suicide is a very big issue in both the gay community and in Utah, perhaps more understanding can help some folks to feel life is worth living. You can't expect people to be interested in church if they aren't interested in living and seeking love and happiness in a life.

The Plan of Eternal Happiness is not always the same for everyone, just as people seek different walks and callings in life. Life would be strange if everyone wanted the same occupation, the same styles, or the same color home or car.

That would look too much like Pleasantville for me. Too black and white for me.

I think a narrow way of living is why half of the church members are inactive. They decide to live life their own way. To each their own. Peace, Joy, Love. WWJD. :)

Tithing | 1:14 a.m. April 8, 2008

My sister can't get a temple recommend because she doesn't pay tithing. She struggles with it. She goes on shopping sprees without paying her tithing first, or her bills or anything else. It's a problem that needs fixed, and she understands that and accepts the fact that she can't have a temple recommend. It is very hard for her, but she knows she needs to change, and she doesn't join a group of other non-tithe-payers to complain to the church about her problems with keeping the commandments. Homosexuals should do the same. They need to stop looking for ways to justify their sins. It isn't something biological. "...and putteth off the natural man, and becometh a saint." We all have our weaknesses, but that is the purpose and goal of the Gospel. To help us put off the natural man, overcome those weaknesses, and find true, lasting happiness through keeping the commandments. Affirmation should be giving a plea for help to obey the commandments, not asking for changes in the honor code. "I the Lord am bound when ye do what I say." Overcome your homosexual weakness, and you will be blessed for it. Pray, and the Lord will help.

Boiseguy | 2:48 a.m. April 8, 2008

RE: Tithing
good points made about tithing and homosexuality, but I don't think you or anyone knows whether homosexuality is natural or unnatural. The only people who really can give the best insight are people who are. I don't think you know what you know because it's fact. You know what you know because it has been taught to you, and it says it in some book that you believe in and place your emotions upon. You and others "know" so many things not because you can prove them to be factual, but because you "feel" that it is right. While what you feel is enlightening and great for discussion please understand the context of your position.
I dont have a problem with knowing that Im a sinner for being homosexual. In fact that is not the reason why I stopped going to church when I was 16. The reason why I stopped going to church was because all my friends and people I knew my whole life refused to associate with me because of my particular "sin". Then the prophet wants to sit and ask for those of us who have left to come back?
once bitten twice shy

Adulteration | 3:26 a.m. April 8, 2008

I've formed a group just like Affirmation which I've named Adulteration. I'm going to demand to meet with Church officials so that I can try to convince them that my adultery (that is, sex outside of marriage) should be recognized, tolerated, accepted, etc. and that the Church should no longer call my behavior wrong nor ostracize people like me just because we define myself by my sexual proclivities and just because we can't obey the Commandments. Adulteration will stand in solidarity with groups like Affirmation and if a group of fornicators down at BYU can get themselves organized, then we'll stand with them too and try to get the BYU Honor Code changed on their behalf. What a wonderful idea Affirmation has had - let's change the Church instead of changing our own immoral behavior.

Dave | 5:09 a.m. April 8, 2008

To: Eastern LDS

Just because you know of a 2nd hand story of a gay man getting married doesn't make you an expert on the topic. I can assure you that being gay is not a behavioral choice.

Get off it !! | 5:16 a.m. April 8, 2008

it is just a meeting ..it's America...I'm sure the brethren know what they are doing...while the others of you ...cluck, cluck around.

Knss | 6:22 a.m. April 8, 2008

I am glad the church is meeting with affirmation and I am also glad that the church won't budge on doctrines regarding homosexuality either. I hope the church representatives tell them that they won't budge.

Ryan | 6:37 a.m. April 8, 2008

I was faithful to the church until I felt that I was no longer safe attending church. I was faithful to the church until I felt that the members were more concerned about themselves than others.

I know Dave and Olin, we have discussed the letter in the local DC chapter of Affirmation. All this meeting is for is to begin an understanding, not to change the doctrine but in how people are treated.

Please don't accuse me of being selfish, it is not selfish to want to feel secure at church. It is not selfish to be willing to help one another. I have helped others when I really didn't have the means to without repayment. I have stepped in and helped when I could afford to. I have done that which the Savior has taught, to love one another.

I hope that something comes out of it, at least some understanding, but I expect nothing. I have learned the hard way to expect nothing whether from friends or family. I only hope that Heavenly Father will help me in times of despair, otherwise I am alone, I have nothing other than myself.

Tithing and Homosexuality? | 7:44 a.m. April 8, 2008

Goodness! I don't pay "tithing" per say, but I help wherever I feel inclined (and whenever I can afford it). I don't pay to orgainizations that will use the money to build buildings because I don't think that is needed as much as other things. Regarding my gay friends: They are just like you and I in many ways. Imagine the way you were born didn't allow you to marry the person you loved. And that being attracted to them was "sinful". Your comparisons do not compare. Think the way you want, but you must give other people their right to be who they are and show them respect. It is good they are meeting with your religious group to help give them this respect.

Re: Tithing and Homosexuality | 8:26 a.m. April 8, 2008

In the LDS church, they believe tithing is a commandment, as well as the law of chastity, which prohibits homosexuality. Some people are probably born being obsessive with their money and not wanting to donate ten percent of it anywhere, just as some people are born with same gender attractions. The fact of the matter is, in the LDS church, they are both commandments... If you want to be considered in good standing with the church, obey those commandments. They do compare. Everyone is born with weaknesses. Most homosexuals just like to play the poor pitty party picked on me game... I have a couple of good friends who struggle with homosexuality. They know they are in the wrong though, and they are trying to overcome it. They think the whole Affirmation thing is rediculous... Maybe they should have a talk with Affirmation. If other homosexuals told them to change and try to overcome their problems rather than ask to be accepted, do you think it would do any good?

Hmmm | 8:38 a.m. April 8, 2008

I guess "hogwash" is too harsh a word for the DesNews censors....

Why Worry?? | 8:36 a.m. April 8, 2008

Why should I worry about what God thinks about my being gay??? It would seem that the people on this blog are smarter and more righteous and dare I say without sin enough to pass judgement on me and the rest of the gay community. Why should I worry about anything since the people on the DMN website have all the answers to pass a fair and honest judgement. I feel so much better knowing that while the Lord might know the true nature of my heart, my fellow man is better qualified to pass judgement based on their "cherry picking" of scripture. Now that they have taken care of the gay problem, maybe they will start taking care of the next offender of the world. Look out anyone who's played football, the scripture about touching the skin of a pig could be the next "cherry" to be picked.

Re: Kevin 4:30 pm | 9:00 a.m. April 8, 2008

Moral character is not "defamed" by the Church, it is "defamed" by your actions.

chris | 9:14 a.m. April 8, 2008

If everyone read the Book of Mormon, there would be a lot less misunderstanding, all throughout the Book it says we all have fallen, we all are lost, we have done regretable things, we have no merit, we have no excuses, the law condemns us all; our very own book says we have all fallen short, but there is hope if we can keep busy on worthwhile things and keep life simple and clean and full of life. Sin makes us dumb; yet we have a right to be dumb, except that when we are dumb we have less opportunities in life.

Better Brain Game | 9:17 a.m. April 8, 2008

@ Brain Game

ACTING on homosexual desires is the sin. If someone has those desires but refuses to act on them and keeps all the commandments, why refuse them a temple recommend?

You see, it is acting on the sin, if a teenager has had the thoughts of drinking in high school but has the strength to say no, he is still worthy to participate in various church activities including the temple. Same is true with homosexual desires.

@ Lesbian Mormon,

By all means come to church and yes, it is the members duty to accept you as a child of god. However, knowing what you know about the church, if you flaunt your lifestyle, don't be surprised if people treat you differently. If you are currently not acting on desires or flaunting the lifestyle than it is nobody's business what your struggles are. I'm married and see pretty women all the time and thoughts can creep in, but I don't act and I don't need to share with others at church. Seek the help and counceling you need to help overcome your desires and by all means, come back to church. I know it helps me.

I seriously doubt it... | 9:28 a.m. April 8, 2008

"Jonathon | 7:19 p.m. Apr. 7, 2008
Why can't the church change its doctrine? It wouldn't be the first time. The year I was baptised into the church (1978) was the same year the church made a major break with its past and began allowing blacks to hold the priesthood. Apparently it took god that long to get over his racism and see all races as equal. Now if only he could get past his sexism and homophobia, maybe the church could join the twenty first century... "

Unreal | 9:30 a.m. April 8, 2008

I new alot of people who left the church in 1978 because blacks could now hold the priesthood. I am happy that the leaders who ran the church changed their rules in 1978 and wouldn't it be cool if the rules were changed once again for these loving people who are being shunned by the LDS church?

Reed | 9:38 a.m. April 8, 2008

This is directed to all you hypocritical, self-righteous members of the LDS faith.
First, know that I am a happily married, heterosexual male member of the church.
Next, consider a few facts. Roughly 10% of the human population is homosexual. Most do not "choose" their sexual preferance any more than I chose to be right handed. Many have the same moral standards as any good member of the church, yet they are forced to live a lie or abandon their faith.
It is not for us to judge these people (ANY PEOPLE). God will take care of that so don't worry. We will all get our just reward. Perhaps better to focus on the commandments such as, "Love thy neighbor" than to look down your nose at those you deem less righteous than yourself. There is an old joke that says the world is divided into two groups of people: the righteous and the unrighteous. And the righteous do the dividing.
You can attend church all you want, go to the temple regularly, pay your tithing, serve in your calling, but if you can't truly love your fellow beings, well... good luck. You're going to need it.

Saddened | 9:33 a.m. April 8, 2008

As an active member of the LDS church who happens to have same gender attraction, I am saddened by the amount of intolerance that is being conveyed in these comments by other members of my faith.

The fact of the matter is, the LDS church has an abysmal track record for retaining gay members. Even those of us who choose to not act on our attractions are often made to feel dirty and unclean for simply having them by these sort of self righteous and hateful comments. For that reason, many (if not most) of us choose to remain fully closeted - fearful of how other members of the church will treat us if they knew of our inner most secrets.

I am not a member of Affirmation; however, I welcome this news. While I don't expect any major shifts in church policy to be the result, I am hopeful that this will pave the way for better understanding and compassion.

RE: REED | 10:02 a.m. April 8, 2008

Another person who "get's it"!!! Thank you. Love the comment about the righteous do the dividing, well put!!!

CFB | 10:02 a.m. April 8, 2008

It is not selfrighteous to have values and morals; no one is forcing anyone who believes such ideas to remain in the church--though immorality applies to everyone in every situation--they want everyone to condone conduct that insults members who try to live teachings; they want a pass, to only accept what they selfishly desire, and the destruction nature of live-style over along period of time is well documented by socialogical studies, same sex relationships fail, and do not last, so why support them?

Sub-Odeon | 10:16 a.m. April 8, 2008

Can someone please explain to me why it's the job of the church to make homosexuals feel better about themselves, and their sin?

Homosexuals experiencing guilt and anger over their failure to rectify doctrine with choice, either need to seek their priesthood leadership and get right with God, or abandon the church and get psychological counseling in order to get over their bitterness at the Lord and the LDS faith.

God does not create us to sin against him. All of us have free will. Denial of the appetites is part of our lesson here on this fallen Earth. If you feel an undeniable urge to have sex with your own gender, and you're LDS, it's up to you to come to grips with your choice. Either decide to deny yourself and abide by the gospel, or learn to live in sin and forget about the LDS church. Because there cannot ever be a time when LDS doctrine smiles on homosexual activity. It won't happen.

Hard words. But these are hard times. And the church is not a therapy group for people who can't get over themselves.

No Name Calling | 10:38 a.m. April 8, 2008

To Reed,

Whoa there! Let's not ruin this discussion with name calling, accusations, and condemnations. By far the majority of the LDS members posting here have shown love and understanding. It seems to me that most of the negative comments are coming from people who want to call others self righteous, intolerant, etc., etc., etc.

How about being tolerant of people who choose to accept the Lords word found in many many scriptural references and the words of modern day prophets that homosexuality is a sin?

Most of us who believe that also accept the Lord's teachings about loving sinners and reaching out to help them. We know that we are sinners also. None of us can point fingers at those who feel same sex attraction and judge them for the temptations they face. All of us are trying to overcome our own weaknesses.

We cannot get back to heavenly father by trying to change his standards on any issue. We have to change to match those standards. None of us can meet those standards without the help of Christ through the atonement.

Let's work together to help each other do that.

Sagacious Inquisitor | 11:09 a.m. April 8, 2008

Reed and reReed,

Would you agree that quite interestingly on these pages; it often appears that the dividing is done by both parties evenly? Yet, one party seems more vilified for holding a contrary, politically incorrect and old fashioned opinion.

Sadly, in our modern and "enlightened" world, what is sauce for the goose really ain't for the gander.

Mc | 11:10 a.m. April 8, 2008

I had a neighbor who was a young mother struggling with alcoholism and financial problems. I truly cared about her and her family and tried to help with AA meetings and being a friend. She confided in me about feelings of same sex atraction as well as interest in other men besides her husband. I tried to help her keep her family together, but when she wanted me to meet her "boyfriend," I began to see that what she wanted from me was acceptance of her behavior, not help to overcome her problems. I could not accept behavior that went against everything I believe in and she could not change me, so I was not what she wanted in a friend. I'm sure that she feels that I rejected her friendship and did not care about her, but that was not the case.

The problem I see with many homosexuals is that they equate loving them with accepting their lifestyle. If we don't accept it then we don't love them. Accepting sinful behavior (hetero or homosexual) that is openly displayed is just as difficult for me as changing sexual attraction would be for someone who is homosexual.

Don't Blame Genetics | 11:14 a.m. April 8, 2008

All of us, myself especially, face temptations and I don't blame anyone for the temptations they face. However, I feel like I have to comment on the excuse I hear again and again about a genetic link to homosexuality. I want to make a few points.

1. A genetic link is irrelevant. Heterosexuality is in most peoples genes but that doesn't make it ok for them to be philanderers or pornographers.

2. If homosexuality were a genetic trait then it would have self selected itself out of existence long ago. Homosexuals do sometimes marry heterosexually and have children, but if homosexuality were genetically linked the trait would tend to eliminate itself.

3. If homosexuality is genetic then why is there no strong tendency for it to run in families? I have known many homosexuals but I have never met one that came from a family with many of them.

I am not a scientist and can't prove whether genetics has anything to do with homosexuality or not but let's not use genetics as an excuse for any of our sins whether they are related to sexuality or not.

signs of civil war | 11:15 a.m. April 8, 2008

Always dividing people.
Always setting groups apart from each other.
Never a meeting of the minds.
The same mindset that occurs before a civil war.
Always a "right is right!" mentality.

RE: Sagacious | 11:40 a.m. April 8, 2008

No, I don't think that the dividing is done evenly. When those who oppose me and my lifestyle to the point of a constitutional amendment to prevent my enacting my civil rights. I can't concider that as even division. When those in opposition call me a pedophile not because I have violated a child but because I am attracted to other men, that is not even. When I read and hear time and again how those like me are going to be the downfall of society I can't see that as even, nor would I call it an even division when I must conform to the standards of normalicy as dictaded by those who think they are all knowing or else face retribution that in the past has included physical violence. No, I wouldn't call that an even division.

WYO Reader | 11:43 a.m. April 8, 2008

To "Don't Blame Genetics"

AMEN!

Supportive ex-communicated membr | 11:57 a.m. April 8, 2008

This is in response to Mormon Mom and others out there who may have despaired because of perceived lack of support by the LDS church in this matter. There have been several organized groups that have formed through the years that have taken positive steps to support members of the church who deal with these feelings of SSA (Same Sex Attraction). One in particular [Evergreen} has received incredible support from the church. The challenge has been to get the word out to the Stake Presidents that they do exist. The Church's Family Services, from what I understand, does have information regarding some of these support groups. Others can be found through internet searches. Do a search on Same Sex Attraction and you may find some of this information. There are psychologists and others doing positive, constructive research of this, that many of us deal with. Do not be troubled by all the emotional outbursts and controversy about this...there is help out there and has been for some time.

kindness | 12:05 p.m. April 8, 2008

Having just married in the temple a woman who has a gay son, I am encouraged by President Monson's decision to have Church officials meet with the Affirmation group. Too many Church members' words and actions betray the loving kindness our Lord Jesus Christ would have us model as His followers, and opening up an official dialogue with these disenfranchised Saints is simply the right thing to do.

Becoming divorced after a twenty-three year marriage taught me much about what the Lord would have us say and do towards others who suffer estrangement from the fellowship of the Saints, much of the teachings coming in the form of scorn, ridicule and estrangement from family, "friends" and other members of this Church named after Jesus Christ.

I endorse _any_ action which sincerely seeks "to bind up the brokenhearted, to proclaim liberty to the captives, and the opening of the prison to them that are bound" (Isaiah 61) including any of us who feel after the Savior out of desperate need.

Christ would have us do no less.

different | 12:06 p.m. April 8, 2008

I have to assume that all those people who see no difference between being gay and being tempted to steal, drink alcohol, not pay tithing, cheat, overeat, act selfishly, and speed in traffic (among the many cited) are not close to anyone who is gay.

Those who know and care about gay people know that sexual orientation is not a mere temptation to do something the church prohibits, but is fundamental to one's very identity. They see that Church members treat gay people very differently than people "who struggle to not be selfish" or to give up coffee.

Bodacious | 12:08 p.m. April 8, 2008

Just another reason I am glad I don't go to church..to much stoning going down.

Happiness | 12:19 p.m. April 8, 2008

My father struggled with homosexuality throughout his life. Early in his marriage he acted on the temptation for the first time causing great pain to his wife and family. He did his best to repent and for years was free of the sin. During that time he accomplished great good. He brought the gospel to many people and raised his children in the church. He still felt temptation. Life wasn't easy but he did his best.

In his later life he became discouraged because of an illness that was a direct result of his earlier problem. He gave up and gave in to his temptation. He divorced my mother and isolated himself from everyone that loved him and instead chose to associate himself with others that had the same temptation.

Eventually he was murdered by one of his homosexual partners who stole his money to buy drugs.

I don't know what will happen to my father. I don't know what circumstances caused him to face the temptations he faced. I know only this, God prohibits homosexuality for the same reason he prohibits all sin. It does not and cannot make people happy.

We love and miss you dad.

Freeman | 12:32 p.m. April 8, 2008

So Reed calls those LDS members opposed to homosexuality "self-righteous" and "hypocritical." He blasts them for passing judgment, yet that is exactly what he is doing in telling them "good luck--you're going to need it." Who's the hypocrite?

Furthermore, loving your neighbors does not mean condoning, supporting, or even accepting their behavior. You can accept a person without accepting his/her lifestyle. It's absurd to suggest that in order to love my neighbors I have to approve of anything and everything they choose to do. My own father is gay (one of the founding members of Affirmation) and I still accept and love him as a person, even though I disapprove of his behavior and lifestyle.

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