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LDS leader blasts abuse
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May we all learn to love one another and realize that he is trying to create change.
There is so much misinformation and misinterpretation in many of the comments in this blog that it's hard to know where to begin. LDS Bishops are required to contact appropriate authorities. Are they perfect? No, so some of them don't follow through as they should, but the majority do a good job.
Can abusers change? Can the abused forgive? Yes to both. I was a sexually abused wife back in the 70's when marital rape was not recognized. I escaped, literally, and have gone on to have a wonderful life and many children. After a period of time I was able to forgive him, and he sincerely apologized. We had 3 kids together, so being on friendly terms was helpful. But it was a necessary part of my own healing process.
Are people wrongfully accused? Yes. My husband was, and we are suffering the consequences of that for the rest of our lives together. A church court found him not guilty, so we cling to that. I'm thankful that God will sort out all the inequities and make it right for us.
This is nothing new. Just a repeated harsh warning. There are those who still don't get it.
I was chair of a conference way back in 1997 and I deliberately included two workshops on this very subject - abuse in all forms, be it verbal, physical or mental toward spouses, children and even elderly parents and relatives and yes even friends.
I deliberately placed a certain couple who have a way of getting through to the lay and put him in charge of one for men and boys only and his wife in charge of women and girls only. Then I deliberately had bishops and relief society presidents who happen to be in attendnace in the panel to assist the moderators. Those who attended the conference came away with a good impression on the evils of abuse and consquences of unreported and unrepented. So far, it is already 10 years and I have yet to see one family fall apart as the result of attending these workshops. The only ones I know of that fell apart are the ones who didn't attend.
2.) The church leadership has REGULARLY given talks concerning abuse and abusive relationships. If this is the first you have heard of it I would suggest you haven't been paying attention.
3.) Religious counseling does not preclude anyone from going to professional counseling. It is not an either/or dilemma.
4.) Church authorities are to contact law enforcement when the situation dictates. They also counsel the offender to tell law enforcement what has happened. There is NO FORGIVENESS for the person who is unwilling to confess their sin.
Glad to see you doing so well!
The problem with your assertion is that, at least according to FBI intervention training, child sex abuse is uniformly distributed independent of ANY demographic - economic, religious, or ethnic.
The desire to dominate is a basic evolutionary human motivation. It is a natural urge in man. Our spiritual growth as individuals can be measured by the degree to which we abandon evolutionary motivations and turn instead to the Love of God.
Mormons have been teaching this all along.
Second, to all the Mormon hater's be thankful that the Deseret News is open minded enough to post your comments either in favor or aganist the Church and it's leaders.
That should show you that the Church(which happens to own Deseret News)does not "think" for us(which is frequently suggested)or even you(like you would listen anyway).
As for the "talk" I think that more Church leaders (other faiths enclueded) should speak out about this issue more often, instead of only talking about it at confernce, behind closed doors or on occasion. When this type of abuse happens everyone involed suffers, but I believe the person who is abused suffers the most.
I do hope that as we continue to confront abuse that we will not neglect the infrequent, but devastating, problem of ecclesiastical abuse. In our faith members have little recourse when bishops or stake presidents themselves are the ones engaged in abuse. We do not have a mechanism to call them to account, especially when the abuse is emotional and is hard to prove.
Virtually every church leader I have had has been an exceptional human being, but occasionally they seem more interested in domination than in service. All kinds of techniques can be used to coerce and intimidate, even if what is desired is contrary to the counsel of general leadership. When this happens, the damage is real and faithful members feel that they have been deeply betrayed. Too many become inactive or leave the faith completely. Can we address ecclesiastical abuse in an open manner too?
It is interesting to me how many other church leaders sit and watch our programs and read our materials so they can find fault with what is said, sometimes (often thank goodness), they use the same material in their own congregations while denouncing our faith. It's O.K. though, we get members from their congregations who come to investigate how we could possibly believe the distortions presented to them. When the whole truth is explained, they sometimes lose faith in their religious leaders and come to us. As far as sex being dirty, can you not see how many children we have? We are a healthy lot!
LDS typically view sexual intimacy between a married man and woman as a beautiful thing.
Elder Scott understands that perpetrators often hide behind a mask of piety or other respectablity; they are often seen as good citizens, etc.. It isn't easy to detect and stop them.
It's also true that some people are falsely accused.
How real predators love to trot that one out in their protestations of innocence!
Elder Scott's plea to come forward and get help is right on the mark. Unfortuanately, many will never do so and continue to victimize more children, causing untold grief and misery.
My father, who also went after my sister, never confessed. He died with a lie in his heart.
Abuse of all sorts is most often about control, and includes manipulation, intimidation, and other mind-control tactics to keep the crime secret and ongoing.
Abusers are lying to themselves and everyone else.
Abuse is a physical crime but it's also a spiritual issue.
For ELder Scott to address these things in his blunt but loving way may save children.
It's easy to armchair what someone says and find fault in the way they did it. But he was right.
"The Church .... has a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to child abusers. When abuse is suspected, the Church directs its members to first contact the legal authorities and then their local bishop for counseling and support. The Church cooperates fully with law enforcement in investigating incidents of child abuse and bringing perpetrators to justice."
"Members of the Church found guilty of child abuse are also subject to the laws of God."
"Convicted child abusers are excommunicated, the highest possible discipline our Church can impose. Excommunicated members cannot take part in Church meetings or hold responsibilities of any kind within the congregation."
Child abusers who have paid the legal price for their crimes and gone through a rigorous repentance process can become members again, but they can never again, in their lifetime, serve in any capacity that would put them in direct contact with children.
"Protection of the family is a first principle of the Church."
If individual Bishops or Stake Presidents do not follow this instruction, they are wrong and need to be corrected by higher authorities.
Since 1995 the Church has placed a confidential annotation on the membership record of members who previously abused children. These records follow them to any congregation where they move, thereby alerting bishops not to place them in situations with children. As far as we know, The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints was the first religious institution to create such a tracking mechanism. We hold the family sacred and protect its children. This explains why the Church is one of the few denominations that imposes formal ecclesiastical discipline on mere members (as opposed to official clergy) for sexually abusive conduct.
This is not so:
Since 1976, more than 50 news and magazine articles have appeared in Church publications condemning child abuse or educating members about it. Church leaders have spoken out on the subject more than 30 times at Church worldwide conferences. Child abuse is the subject of a regular lesson taught during Sunday meetings.
The Church has never covered up this matter, and takes it very seriously. Some lay leaders may not react appropriately but it is not for a lack of available help and information. Legal authorities need to be contacted by the victim or victim's family, and a Bishop is also obligated to report abuse. The main focus of a local lay leader is to give spiritual support and counsel, and he also has the option to refer to professional counselors, at no cost to the victim if they have no means to pay.
Continue your fight.
I agree there is too much cover up in the church about abuse. All of the perpetrators should be excommunicated and spend some quality time in the state pen. They will learn about justice from their fellow inmates.
Hiding abuse is just as bad as being the abuser. Shame on anyone trying to cover up abuse of any kind.
A concerned mother
Bishops are official representatives of the Church. All these people who have been abused have grounds for a class-action suit against the Church.
I think it is about time they did exactly that.
I was abused by my father and did go to a bishop and he followed the process outlined by the church. He may have been a "lay" leader (untrained), but the rules are very well documented. If a bishop chooses not to follow them then they are the ones that should be held responsible for their own stupidity and ingnorance not the church.
I think the talk was important and addressed some real issues that I and my fellow Mormons are well aware of. I don't bury myself away from the world and the fact the a church leader is talking about it and talking to people he assists in leading seems more than appropiate and important. His words certainly are not the only voices out there talking.
He repeatedly said that sooner or later, "The books must balance." That I will have rest and be justified.
Brother Scott's words were necessary for a conference talk today, but local leaders and fathers should had repeated this many times previously and I'm sure they did.
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