Comments about ‘Secret shame: Keeping watch — Sex offenders face lots of supervision’

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Published: Wednesday, March 19 2008 12:00 a.m. MDT

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Father of a victim

Representative Paul Ray (Clearfield) absolutely has the right idea. However, it isn't new - it has been in the Bible for millenia.

I believe it is part of restitution, and that dealing with these utterly evil individuals in this manner will significantly aid their victims in the healing process - knowing that justice has been met, and that no one else will be hurt.


You cannot rehab sex offenders. Once the desire to offend is acted upon, especially if the Offender gets away with it. Then the urge to offend will become greater and more bold. For some the Shame is only in getting caught. If you are going to let them out of Jail they have to be under lots of Supervision this will help keep them from reoffending. Nothing will keep a Sex Offender who wants to offend from offending. The only thing you can make fairly sure of is that you or your child will not be a victim. They should never get more then one chance. The revolving door should not apply to them. Sex Offending destroys lives, some of it because of the act. Some of it because of the results of the act and this can go on not just with the victim but with the Victims Family and with the Victims Relationships most times for the rest of their lives. I am talking mostly here about Adult Male Sex Offenders over the age of 18 but younger in some cases. I have an Issue with Teenage boys being called the Victim of Adult Females.

What about......?

Meanwhile, as everyone is so focused on worrying about the CONVICTED S.O. on their street, someone you know personally (maybe your husband, dad, brother, uncle, grandfather, your best buddy, your girlfriend's husband, the Elder's Quorum president, etc.) is running around molesting children (maybe even yours) and is a free man! EVER THOUGHT OF THAT PEOPLE?!! MOST of us on the sex offender registry have really turned our lives around and put the past behind us and started a new, CLEAN, life, free from deviant behavior. You know who we are and where we live. The chances of us re-offending is slim. The therapy is great and it works! So, I advise you to turn your attention to those around you who you "trust" with your children. Are your kids REALLY safe? The ones who haven't been caught are FAR more dangerouse than most of the convicted sex offenders out there.

Knee jerk

Paul Ray has REALLY fast reflexes. He has a quick knee jerk reaction in regards to this subject. There needs to be a better way of weeding out the REAL offenders and those who just made a REALLY STUPID choice (ie. chatting with a 13-year-old girl for the first time and getting busted for it). "Yeah, sure. You never did it before....Right." you say. Well, it happened to me. I made a HORRIBLE choice to chat with a "13 year-old girl" and ended up getting arrested for it. Now I'm getting treated like a child rapist by the "Christlike" people of my ward, for something that NEVER HAPPENED! I NEVER abused anyone, and NEVER will!! Yet, even after I divulged all the details to those "concerned parents", they still treated me like I'm a monster. ONE moment of weakness (btw, pornography, NOT child porn, played a huge part in what I did that night), and I get to see the TRUE colors of my fellow Mormon neighbors! AMAZING!

A mom

Thank you Deseret News for running this series. Some of these articles -- in particular, the ones recounting the victims stories -- have been very painful to read and my eyes have really been opened over this. You have given all parents a wealth of valuable information and I, as a mother, really appreciate it. Thank you.


I can see why people will react the way they did to "Knee jerk". What he's missing here is that people are concerned about children. Children are born innocent and trusting and they "have to be taught to hate and fear" as the song says. Sexual abuse of a child is worse than robbing or murdering someone. The abuser is completely destroying their ability to relate in a normal manner to anyone. The abuse happens on every possible level. It is absolutely not just physical.

We live in a world with all sorts of horrors happening to children. They are being wired for bombs, they are being used and abused in every possible way, they are being mutilated, etc. The children of our world have a right to keep their innocence. They must be allowed to grow up in a safe environment. They must be given the right to feel protected and safe. We as adults know how bad the world is and I know I have learned much from these articles. It is our job to keep children innocent.

To Knee jerk, I'm sorry you are so offended. Try looking at your neighbor's point-of-view.

Adults are hypocrites

At age 9, I began helping my older brother's scout troop with the newspaper drive. unknown to the leaders, it provided us enough Playboys to fill our minds until the next drive.
They (mis)informed us, stimulated us, and told us that all those taboos by adults were just hypocrisy. by age 11-12 we had figured out, as long as we kept it secret, we could try sex, and why not with other kids, especially younger ones.
Our generation molested little sisters, cousins, nieces, and kids we babysat, without guilt. Sex was just something you could do but not talk about, just like "going to the bathroom"
By the time the light turned on for me, magazines were old news - TV could stimulate us without sneaking around, and society had begun sounding the alarm on the resulting problem, and labeling the perps. But not wanting to consider the cause, just the effect.
Today's article was mostly a waste. there will never be enough probation officers,police, to catch and "supervise" all the offenders as long as the invitation to enjoy sex is blatantly paraded in evryone's homes 7 days/week.


Putting labels on negative behaviors (name-calling)doesn't make the accused person change, or want to.

Knee jerk, Do you understand?
You did no one any good with that remark, and actually caused a little harm.

You and I are all weak in many areas, and wouldn't like to have them pointed out.
And neither of us are wise enough to judge our neighbors.

Rest assured, you are not alone. Several readers will miss the point of this comment, and a few will demonstrate their misunderstanding in writing.

Knee jerked...

Following-up with Knee Jerk's comments... Those people have no reason to trust you. You admitted that you chatted with a 13 year old girl (though you never admitted to the content of the chat - which was obviously bad enough to get you arrested), you admitted that you were looking at porn and that played a role in your decision making, but somehow you feel like you should get a pass because you expect more out of your Mormon friends and neighbors. I wouldn't trust you, and I wouldn't want you hanging out with my kids either. I think the one that showed TRUE colors was you. Face what you did for what it truly is - sick and deviant behavior. Once you've accepted that, maybe you'll understand why you are getting treated the way you are.


To "What About....?" and "Knee Jerk":

You're really something. Your intense desire to blame everyone and everything else and try to throw us off the trail is classic abuser mentality and behavior. "Knee Jerk," you may not have abused that night, but to say that pornography was your motivation in chatting with a 13-year-old girl...??? Hmm, I wonder what was on your mind? Therapy rarely works long-term (as statistics show, which is why we're all so disgusted with terrified of you), and your defensive, manipulative comments show that it most definitely isn't working for either of you!!


What is the Internet address to search out the names of the sex offenders on parole?


To 'What About...'
Ah yes, try to turn the focus away from convicted sex ofenders as who to fear. Your claim that most SO on the list have turned their lives around and are living clean lives is absurd as is your claim that the chances of re-offending are slim. Your pathetic attempt to somehow elevate yourself to the same moral standards as our 'fathers, brothers, uncles, grandfathers, elders quorum president' ect ect by insinuating that we have more to fear from them than from a convicted sex offender shows just how far your are from becoming 'cured'. The fact is, you may be forgiven by many, but you will ever be trusted around children.


*** Fact is, you may be forgiven by many, but you will NEVER be trusted around children.


A lot of this information that gets posted online by sex offenders is phoney and the state knows it. I own some apartments and registered sex offenders use an apartment location as their address when I know in fact they do not live there. I report it to the state and it takes months to get it corrected. The state really has no idea where hundreds of these sex offenders are.


Lock them up and though away the key!!!

Concerned mom

So, as the title of this article states, if there is so much supervision going on, then why do so many offenders move without the system knowing and get away with using fake addresses?

SO Victims?

What is it about all the SO's getting on here and whining about how persecuted they are? Why is it in our society we are focusing so much on how the aggressors of crimes are supposedly victims? I used to work with SO's and learned quickly I could not trust a word they said. Lie lie lie - that is how these people get near your kids. The fact is they made a very poor decision and then they whine about how they can't get certain jobs. Do they have ANY concern about how they are wrecked a 7 year old's life?? No, it is all about them - how selfish...

I know a sex offender

He lives about three blocks away from me. He attends my ward. He has a good job, a wife, and two children.

His crime? Having consensual sex with a girl that was about a year too young.

When he was 19 or 20.

Over 10 years ago.

He is not a threat to me, he is not a threat to my kids, and based on his actions since then, he's not a threat to society.

Why must he continue to be humiliated and punished for something he did when he was young and stupid?

Why do we waste tax dollars supervising someone who has never shown any inclination to re-offend?

In light of the attitudes shown here, it's suprising that anyone would have the gall to complain about high taxes and ever-expanding government. Prisons and AP&P officers cost money, you know.

Driver Ed

Our family has read for four days in amazement. 90% of the comments are about despair, fear, hatred, punishment.
Maybe 10% mention the real issue and real solutions. Kudos to them.
When we drive, we look forward, right, left, and in the rear-view mirrors. This article and many of the comments make it sound like society just wants to drive with rear-view mirrors.
There ain'ta never gonna be enough "supervision" to stop predators, not even the low percent who get caught. Want a lifetime of low-pay-but-secure, frustrating work? Be a "supervisor".
If you want real *Super* *Vision* ---Wake up and SEE the CAUSES that teach people to be pervs and perps. (And that condition the victims to expect sex way before marriage.) Can you say ... ABC, NBC, CBS, Fox, HBO, etc, etc, etc?


Sorry, but there is no such thing as consensual sex with an underage girl. It is statutory rape plain and simple. Underage kids do not have the mental maturity to consent to an adult for sex. 19 and 20+ year old guys prey on younger girls all the time. It may not seem like it but crime in our society is actually down because we are paying higher taxes to keep the perps in prison longer and on registries. That is the price we pay.

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