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'Finder' is accused of stealing adoption records
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I know a family who was shocked to find out that their mother had given birth "out of wedlock", and it was quite a scandal. And...the child who found her mother? Like most other adopted children, she always dreamed that she'd find a rich family at the other end...or a happier one. She didn't. She nearly broke up her birth mother's family, and after a few meetings with her mother, decided she wasn't interested in pursuing a relationship. How painful is that - to be abandoned by the very child you felt guilty for "abandoning" but couldn't talk to anyone about?
Does your "right to privacy" not mean anything to you?
Our son is adopted, and he has diabetes. We nearly lost him on the day we discovered this. We could have been alerted and more aware of what to do, if only we had been given THOROUGH medical information.
I'm so sorry if this inconveniences his birth mother.
How do you put a value of somebody's life? Isn't knowing your accurate medical history, who you come from, and what your roots are just as important as some girl's "right to privacy."
Especially in today's society, where giving up a child is no longer seen as a scandal. I'd cast my vote for the child's right to know over the mother's right to privacy.
And why does it have to be either/or? If adoption agencies would work with both clients, as a part of their contractual obligation, re-uniting or asking questions COULD be done very privately, without requiring the adopted person to search everywhere and ask multiple people for information that the agencies already have.
It's about time we step into the 21st century and CHANGE A FEW LAWS!!!
Because of the urgency of our son's personal situation we begged the agency to help us locate his birth mother, but they were bound by their rigid rules.
Jill helped us find his mother, who was actually happy and anxious to be found. Without Jill's help we would have had to make many, many more phone calls, and stir the pot a whole lot more, in order to locate her.
If legitimate agencies would be more helpful, perhaps Jill's services would be less necessary.
Change the adoption forms to full disclosure of medical information. Don't force an unwanted association that can be mentally and emotionally harmful to anyone.
Closed adoptions are in place to protect the adopters not the natural parent. I too am an adoptee and it stinks.
the LDS church as a tendency of forcing young single mothers into giving their children up for adoption using the excuse - "You truly aren't repentant of the sin unless you give the child up." This is so not true. If you have learned from your actions and cease to continue commiting fornication then you have walked away from the sin. Keep your child - no one else has the right to raise it as their own. Adoption is a permanent fix to a temporary problem. Yes there are men out there who have no problem with marrying a single never married mother. I was an unmarried mom once and did marry someone who loved my son.
They were never sealed to protect mothers who lost their children to adoption. They were - and remain - sealed to protect those who are the paying customer in adoption - the adopters. Those who want to pretend the child is theirs and only theirs.... a possession they paid for and own - free and clear with no interference from anyone else.
The most interesting thing in this article is the fact that altering a public record is a crime!
Well, every state is guilty of altering every birth certificate of every adopted person! The states commit FRAUD in falsifying these certificates sand FORCE people to become criminals ad t use criminals to help them find out what is their God-given right to know!
I have primary hypertension (high blood pressure caused genetically) for which I am being treated and followed. My life is as anyone just a few years back with familial predispositions were not as well understood.
Yes it is a "hassle" to not have additional information, I would contend, however, that a hassle is what you accept as an adoptive family. Parenting is not easy for natral born children or adoptees.
I have not had the desire to break up my family by looking for my birth parents, nor have I been contacted. My Brother (who is also adopted) was contacted by a company such as this, they were very agressive when he stated he was not interested.
I do not think there is justification for procuring records by illegal means to make money, whatever the other intensions are. The right to privacy is foe me as well as "some Girl".
To time of truth - bet you are not adoptived, for those of us that are, have come to peace with it.
This couldn't be more false. I became pregnant when I wasn't married. When I first spoke with my bishop and told him I wanted to keep the baby, the subject of adoption was never brought up. I had full support from all my church leaders, ward members, and family. I am still a single mother and have since gone through the temple. The church does not try to coerce young women into giving up their baby, the Church provides an option for adoption if the young woman chooses to, and the church does not do so by threatening repentence either. If a woman decides to give her child up for adoption, there is absolutely nothing wrong with that!
The laws are in place to protect all concerned. As a teenager, I would have devastated my family out of spite had it been easy to open the records. I may have devastated at least one other family, the doctor that placed me in my mother's arms told her that my father was a university professor and my mother his student. Did his family know about the affair? Doubtful. As an adult, and a mother, I have much more compassion than I once did, and know that the time will come that I will know all my family - biological and adopted.
Actually, I am an adoptive parent. Finally meeting my son's birth mother has made me much more aware of her many, many contributions to my son's makeup. It's much easier now to understand both his strengths and his weaknesses.
And it truly saddens me that so many people are intent on hiding the truth. The TRUTH is that my son has two mothers--and we've BOTH left an undeniable imprint on his life.
I'm grateful that in our case, my son was able to know his "other mother" as well. And I'll always be grateful to Jill for making this possible. (So will his birth mother.)
I had to find my Birth Mother for MY daugters sake for a health issue,She was very upset I found her,and didnt want to tell anyone about "The sin and mistake" She had given up..
How about abstinance instead of making a child pay for their entire life for the choices you made...
Everyone deserves to know the truth no matter how painful it is!!!!
How nice of you to give your own flesh and blood who is half of you by the way, to complete high paying strangers to fulfill their fantasy of playing house, you say you didnt hurt anyone, but you have no idea how emotionally damaging it is to be adopted, to know that you were not wanted, and were discarded as such an inconvience, people like you should be steralized then nobody would have to worry about adoption....Who says that?????????????????
(I know, I know-- someone out there is going to say "but that's what the mutual consent registry is for!" Let me tell you-- the registry is a joke. It doesn't work. It only has something like a 6% success rate!)
The real crime here is that House Bill 289 was defeated! Do your homework people-- CI programs WORK, and we need one in Utah.
I believe that the children who were placed for adoption deserve to know who their birth parents are. I also believe that birth mother's have the right to decide if they want contact. There are so many registries on the Net for both paying huge amounts of money seems ridiculous to me. I have my information on the registry if the children I have given birth to wish to find me. Will that cause problems? Probably since the 4 younger children i have do not know yet. But I will deal with that if/when it comes. Adoptive parents should be secure enough in their relationship to know that they are the truly important people in the "child's" life. IMHO
not to have all the Adoptive,s decide
there many reasons a child was adopted but most just want the truth to see or meet a birth mom is
that so hard...
It is if their adoptive's fill there head with a lot of stories that would only hurt them more...
what about a grand father that never met his grand child.
when a adopted child is of age he/she should be
able to make there own choices and not have
to live thinking that what ever reason they learned as to why they were adopted stop there search
to know the Truth
i have helped many find there bio familys the joy
of there reunion over came any other reason
nurture vs nature.this is brain washing
God knows best a child will love her birth mother
if given the chance to talk
and understand all the reasons why
most birth mother's did what was best for there child.dont forget the Fathers had NO rights either
Swedish? I have lived the last 43 years believing I was English, Irish and Filipino. It's like that American Express commercial:"Two tickets to Stockholm, please."
My parents are wonderful, and I was fortunate to have a pretty idyllic childhood knowing I was adopted AND knowing I was (and am) very loved.
Yet, part of me still wonders: Who do I look like? Who do I take after? What skills and talents did I inherit?
Which is why I finally requested non-ID info (all you can get from a sealed record state--I was adopted in Washington in 1963).
Today, I know that my birth parents first names were Patricia and Jose and that both were shorter than me. I know Patricia wanted to be a writer or go into advertising (my career), and Jose was a good dancer (one of my skills).
But I don't know who I look like or whether or not they have developed any health issues I should be aware of.
People who know their birth parents don't have these and the many small questions someone who is adopted has.
We just want to know the same things you do.
Bureau of Vital Statistics
Voluntary Adoption Registry
150 West North Temple
Salt Lake City, UT 84103
For registry information, contact:
Adoption Reunion Registry, Department of Health Vital Statistics
288 N. 1460 W.
Salt Lake City, Utah
Telephone: (801) 538-3916
Utah Code Ann. 78-30-15; 78-30-18.
I am an adoptee in the the process of searching for my birth parents so don't say I don't know what I am talking about.
I understand that some birth parents do not wish to be found but unfortunately that is the only way that many adoptees can obtain medical history information.
Those of us born in the 1950s as a rule do not have anything by way of accurate medical history. Genetic secrets kill!! This is the compelling reason for many wanting open adoption records laws. Even the most callous of birth parents can understand needing to know of cancer, heart trouble, diabetes, and other health issues that crop up later in life.
It is people like this woman in the article who ruin things for the rest of us.
Registries are great but there are so many of them and both of you need to register on the same one! I was born in CA and adopted in Utah my birthfamily had no idea to look for me in Utah. This is why the mutual consent registry has such a low success rate.
Adoptees have the right to their genetic and medical information just as any other person does. As soon as we become adults we should receive our records. Open records does not increase abortion or decrease adoption those are just lies people use to keep records sealed.
If people are in jail, or prison, that is a very small percentile of the people who find their parents were in jail.
That doesn't mean a person doesn't have the right to know. Why is it an adoptee never reaches the age of majority, except in certain states.
Some states never closed records. And have done just fine.
YOUR insurance is higher because some adoptees need more medical care than others.??? why you ask,
because some doctors run more tests on adoptees because they have no medical. They are afraid of missing something. So just think this woman would have no reason to steal, if records were open.!!!
She couldn't have made a living off of adoptees and birthparents again. Everyone makes money off of adoption. The Federal Gov't sends money to encourage courts to perform adoptions. "see part 2"
they don't have experience that the adoption sites have to help people. We help them search and give support. The ci's don't. the Pi's dont'.
thanks,
Joan of nyadoptees
Not everyone wants to search. Thats fine, no one is forcing anyone to search if they don't want to.
Joan
I think its 10K.
Well that is more tax dollars that don't go to the govt and come out of your pocket.
What part of that doesn't these people understand. Most adoptees don't want to be where they are not wanted. So if they search, it usually for medical. Some have had drs ask them to find medical background. Ny and az let parents update medical. So if any of you are from ny please inquire about that. there are groups to help. its really sad they won't allow urls in the posts.
What are they afraid of.???
Joan
Linda
Lori L. Kerns/Ledwith
Baby Girl Freihart
07/31/1966
Allentown, PA
Finalixed in Nassau County, NY
Lori_766@yahoo.com
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