This article filled me with admiration for you students and broke my heart as I
sobbed over opportunities lost and bad decisions made during my life. When I
graduated from college spirituality was bottom on my list of
traits/characteristics even though I was married to a wonderful woman. It took
me into my 50's to be as in tune as most of you are in your youth. Marrying a
spiritually mature, committed LDS person who loves the Lord is something you owe
your children and grandchildren. May the Lord bless all of you as you make this
to TRL East High 61:Excellent comment and advice to young people.
I attended the Y to get my MRS degree, now too many years later I am over
burdened with children a dumb husband, up to my neck involved in church work
with things I really don't care about or believe, none of my dreams of travel or
excitment will ever come true, I am just here, stuck in Utah living a plastic
life thinking about what might have been, but everyone insisted I had to have a
good mormon missionary husband, big deal.
The mental attitudes still need to change. Even though BYU students aren't
having sex, it appears from this article that they're trying to do as much as
they can without having sex. That attitude, at least in my opinion, does not
embody someone who is trying to maintain chastity. The idea of NCMO is
horrifyingly sick, summed up in the article as a one-night stand. I agree that
BYU's atmosphere and respect of sexual matters is wonderful, but it can
certainly improve and has most certainly degraded in the 13 years since I
Woah Sandra, a little bitter are we....
I was sad to read Sandra's comments. Sounds like no testimony now.What
would you have been, Sandra? Sorry you did not do something for yourself.
Sandra: Wow! Are you for real? That is so sad. Well, there you are; so what
are you going to do now? Perhaps you need to find a purpose. It is too late,
and pointless, to tell you what you should have done. Does your husband come
home drunk? Does he beat you? Then you might have an issue; otherwise, get on
with your life. Deal with what you have now. So, your husband is "dumb". What
are you contributing? Is a dumb or selfish wife any better? Sorry to be blunt,
but it is a rare person who doesn't have some things they wish they had done
differently; nevertheless, they go forward with what they have. Change what you
can; accept what you cannot.
The church is true. BYU is not. There are too many controversial articles and
problems constantly with this school. I am certain BYU is a difficult school to
keep a testimony. Also they enforce laws more strict than the military and it
does nothing. People in Provo are miserable. They get lots of dates and don't
get married. They move to Salt Lake and find their eternal companion. I have
seen it over and over again. I hope none of my children suffer to go to BYU!
Yeah, very sad, Sandra--IF your story is true! At least you got the privilege
of attending BYU! Thousands of young LDS would love to have had that
opportunity...and be in the environment to meet good, returned-missionary,
perspective husband. Sounds like you need to be reminded of your blessings in
life: to be married & having children, to name a couple! Many people do not
even have that chance. Just leave it if you don't believe it and see if that
life of travel and excitement makes you any happier!
NCMO was my favorite past time at BYU. I had lots of training while I attended
BYU from other people's wives, and now that I met my eternal companion after
graduating from BYU and moving back to TX, all that training has paid off. BYU,
and Utah in general, are an artificial Utopia. Move away and experience real
life in the "mission field", and you will have a lot greater appreciation for
I am a returned missionary who was looking for a wife who "loved the Lord" and
was active in the church - until they use it against you and tear your heart
out. This happened too many times and thank the Lord I found out about these
"plastic" women. The church doesn't matter as much as you think in marriage,
this is a big LIE.
rmami:Just because you got hurt does not mean "it is a big LIE".
Like was said earlier: "The church is true. BYU is not."When I was
younger, I thought BYU graduates and students were arrogant know-it-alls who
looked down their noses at the rest of us. Now that I'm older with my own kids
in college (no, not BYU, mostly because we couldn't afford it) I see how wrong
I was. Arrogant LDS people can be found outside of BYU too.Of
course, I also learned that there are many, many good people who attended or
currently attend BYU.
Here is a woman that is sharing with all of you how she truly feels and all you
can do is judge her? "At least she got to attend BYU" are you kidding me? It
sounds like she met a "good returned missionary" and she is not real impressed
with the outcome. I believe when the truth comes out, being married to a
returned missionary or going to BYU really doesn't matter in the long run.
Chalenges are part of life. And not necessarely, by doing the right things, we
will receive the blessings in our own time. Why? Because this life is a test of
faith. Besides the Lord sayd that His thoughts are not our thoughts. Going to
BYU is a blessing that not every LDS youth around the world can get; marrying an
ex-missionary is not for every lds single woman, many will never get married,
and others, although married, will never have their own kids, in this life. The
Savior invites each of us to take our own cross and follow Him. If depprecion is
part of our cross, medical and psychiatric help is needed. Go for it Sandra,
before you do something that you will regret for the rest of your life. Maybe,
by taking care of your own health your cross will be lighter. Miracles happen,
if we believe. Kisses from Brazil.
We teach our girls to marry a returned missionary. Too many of them set this
goal regard the status as something they must have instead of really loving the
man. Sort of a reversal of the worldly view of a woman as sex object. Its
different but not better. You need to know the quality of the man, not the
number of boxes you can tick off. A wise friend of mine once told me to see how
he treats pets and his mother.
BYU is full of imperfect people but a lot of them are trying to be there best.
Religion is VERY important in marriage. Ive lived (long term) with a
married couple who have strong but different views on religion. Their marriage
and kids totally suffered. The young women are told all the time to help
the young men remain worthy and have a desire to serve a mission. Theyre also
told not to settle for less than a RM. ITS IMPORTANT!!! Its amassing to see my
friends come home from their missions as men when I sent them out two years
earlier as boys. They gain so much on their missions that make them better in
every way. Including as husbands.NCMO. Gross,shudder&gag!!!!! MO with
someone who might deny they know you exists tomorrow? Who knows where their
mouth has been. Sandra. Im sorry you feel to pressure. Unfortunately you,
me and everyone else are responsible for our own decisions. Try to make the best
of what you have. If it helps Ive gotten to do more than my share of traveling
but I wouldnt trade anything for the opportunity to be a wife and mother. A smile improves faces.
U of U fan. That totally suggest a prejudice so you probably shouldnt be counted
in matters that concern BYU. No offence, thats just how I see it. No Im not at
...a returned missionary is pretty much considered a good husband? I'm no longer
mormon, but even when I was some guys that came home were not necessarily good
people/husbands, and those who didn't go were great men! Just because a guy is a
returned missionary, it does not mean anything in that regard. A good PERSON
makes a good mate.
A good missionary usually makes a good husband because they are devoted to the
cause that they are involved in. You certainly dont have to be a missionary to
be a good person. There are lots of missionaries who miss the point of their 2
years and go home the same lazy, immature, unfocused, selfish people they were
before. A good husband is someone who learns, grows, prays and allows this huge
spiritual and developmental experience to change their lives as much as it
changes the lives of those whom he teaches. If he misses the point, he may as
well have stayed home.
A wise bishop once told me that not all RMs are created equal- so true! So lets
stop stereotyping- some of them are amazing, some of them leave a lot to be
desired, a lot of them are in between. And for the record, BYU isn't perfect,
but I love it here. I would rather deal with YouTube being blocked than walking
in on roomates passed out drunk or in bed with a boyfriend every weekend.
I also love BYU. There are incredible people here, but there are sour apples in
every bunch. You can find bad things here just as everywhere else, but why focus
on the bad when there is SO MUCH good. I truly believe that we CHOOSE to make
our lives what they are, so anyone who is not happy with where they are in their
life (Sandra), they can DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT. Look for the good, surround
yourself with things you love and people you love, and that's what life's all
about. Also--just because someone served a mission does not mean they served.
Sad to say, but there are some who just did the time. The RMS who really lost
themselves in serving others are those who girls really want to marry.
I really enjoyed reading each and every one of these postings. I look forward
to getting my chance at enjoying my stay at BYU after my tour of duty, or at
least the Provo community (at UVSC's Aviation Science). It's always on my mind,
and keeps me moving to the future. An organization that can do that without me
even being a part of it means a lot, to me at least. That said, BYU to me, and
what i've heard from friends, is what you make it, or anybody. It will give you
each opportunity you need and/or want, and it's up to you to grab from the
plate. I expect great things from this awesome university/community...even if
it is like the movie Equilibrium, lol (j/k).
Yeah!! BYU girls are the worst when it comes to dating. They treat guys as toys
in search of their so called soul mate. They are stone cold heart breakers who
takes pride to see number of guys burnt by their evil charm. My
advise to prominent guys out there soon joining BYU or studying at BYU, don't
deteriorate your studies or life trying to find your soul mate. If she is out
there and lord is in your favor, she will come to you sooner or later.Lord have mercy on all those heart broken..