Personal responsibility is more than hygiene, How things look or what is cool. I
can't be responsible for any one's actions but my own. I'm the
biggest screw up in the whole world. Some times I'm not the brightest bulb
am the street. Stuff happens. I'm feel so sorry and I'm so angry at my
self I can get sick. I try to make restitution and make amends. All tho Others
have forgave me, they say that it's not that big of dill, it is to me
It's hard to forgive my self. .
"Man forgives drunk teen driver who killed wife, two children"Not me. I'd see the guy got a huge jail sentence. Then perhaps, after
serving his time, I'd think about forgiving him.
Okay,and what about a story on how Cameron is doing (the person encouraged to
move on)? Are we really having this conversation? It is a good story...
Guitarboy,Like with everything in our lives we can learn to forgive.
Especially if you begin now and focus your heart on what is true about life. All
people will eventually die and move on to whatever awaits us on the other side.
Some may leave in accidents like this or quietly of old age in their sleep. What
matters is learning that this life is transitory and we take whatever love or
hate may be in us.I sometimes wonder what I would do in this situation.
Would I forgive or hate? Live your life in the way that you would want to be and
you will find you live up to the best within you when you are put to the test.
When it comes down to it I suppose what I am saying is, Love is more powerful
than hate and love can heal. Hate will only and has only ever destroyed. Wanting
to do better is the first step to a greater understanding of who you really are
in your heart. God bless you.
Elaine Jarvik wrote an article in the early or mid 90s, about a man, and it
caused my wife and I to begun using the phrase "hug therapy" to describe
something very profound and beautiful.This article about Chris
Williams is troubling for me, because it reminds me of the truth that hurts--my
tendency to react emotionally to unreasonable behavior from others--and my
inability to forgive. I am very worried that when the time comes for me to lose
something that I feel is critical to my life, I will be unprepared to forgive.
The article explains that we can learn forgiveness, just as one can learn to
play the piano. But I am concerned that I do not have the time to start
learning to forgive, because I am too busy working on other things.Thank you for the article.
Personally knowing the williams family has made it even better and more real on
how this could happen to anyone and the way he just went out and forgave this
person is amazing. it's always good to read something a little more moving in
Hi, just e-mailed saying I would like a copy of the "article". I noticed on top
of this page, it says "read story". So, please dis-regard my previous e-mail.
I heard about this article and can't find it anywhere on the web. Could you
please forward it to me? Thank you.
I greatly appreciated the extremely well written and thought provoking article
on forgiveness. It struck a chord with me on many levels. I have recently
recognized and acknowledged that I may have a problem forgiving others when I
feel I have been wronged. Even though intellectually I know that holding on to
anger and/or pain is not beneficial, emotionally I often find it hard to release
the hurt and extend forgiveness. I will use this article to help me in my need
to become a more forgiving person and thank the author and the newspaper for
printing an article of such value.
Here is my take, but I am interested to know what others think. As children of
a loving Father in Heaven it is our duty to forgive everyone of both definitions
of forgiveness. Obviously that doesnt mean the person that committed the crime
is going to change their life or go through the repentance process, which is why
we have the judicial system to try to help those people change by enacting
punishments, penalties, and programs to get their lives back on track.
Hopefully the judicial system can start the process and then as neighbors we can
help out. Obviously none of us are perfect and neither is the judicial system,
so we will have that opportunity to be judged by a righteous/fair/loving Judge
in the eternities, which I hope we have all improved enough to have a joyous
this article has inspired me to do moer research on forgiveness.I study
health issues and seeing some of the research has begun brightens my day.I
feel strongly about forgiving and now I want to do more to help me and others
understand how truly wonderful, beneficial, and uplifting it is to forgive (even
the little things).thank you for this well-researched and well-presented
Citizens who have been hurt by criminals can forgive drunk drivers, murderers,
child abusers, etc, but please don't require our court system to do the same.
People who make bad decisions which harm others, should suffer the full
consequences for their actions. In Websters, under "forgive", it
states two definitions: (1) To give up resentment (2) To give up all claim to
punish or exact penalty. When we are wronged by someone, God expects us to
follow the first definition, NOT the second. Otherwise, we all become throw
rugs for evil people to walk on continually.
Thank you for this story. Forgiveness is so important. Forgiveness really does
help the victim. I really liked how Brother Williams said it.
Absolutly wonderful article. Was very touching and insiteful. Wouldn't the
world be a much better place with more people like Mr. Williams?
Thank you for an amazing article!Thank you to those who have shown
these fabulous examples of forgiveness!I admit it....I love to have
the good in my life...and I very much dislike it interrupted by trials,
problems, or hurts by others. Thank you for helping me with some
introspection. Why do I believe that I deserve to never have problems? Wow...and
eye opener for me...I have been struggling lately with this very
thing. I have absolute trust in a Heavenly Father who loves me and is trying to
bless me...even when I can't see in what ways He is trying to bless me. When I am drug kicking and screaming to the next blessing of growth, I
don't see it as much of a blessing. And then a few more steps and I begin to
understand in a very small way that His infinite wisdom is so very superior to
my limited desire to always stay in the "good" life areas of my life.Thank you again for the insight.
Travis--You're right, mercy can't rob justice. But who decides what
"justice" is? You? Victims? The only real justice will occur in a different
place, in a different time, when all things are known, and the One True Judge
A short time ago I finally was able to forgive someone who had hurt me very
deeply. For a while I even contemplated suicide because I was so depressed. But
then, in answer to many prayers, I was able to finally forgive him. The relief
and sheer happiness I've felt ever since,is beyond words. Forgiveness is a gift
we give to ourselves. I admire Mr. Williams for his ability to forgive someone
so quickly. I am going to keep this article to refer to when I need a lift.
Thanks to Elaine Jarvik for such outstanding journalism, and to the Deseret News
for printing it.
A great reminder to us all. The perspective that these individuals have is what
many look for, but few find. Most that view themselves as being "wronged"
against are so consumed with hate, anger, animosity and vengence that their life
becomes selfish, one-dimensional and destructive of others. Stories like this
help us all to refocus on what's truly important and get a clue about how
ridiculous most of our "pity parties" really are.
I am so impressed with Chris Williams. His courage and understanding is so
admirable and I hope to learn from this. I'm very grateful that this article
was printed! I've been trying not to cry while reading it at work!
It has been said; " Hate is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies.
Fantastic Article. Best story I have read this year! Thank You!
Wonderful article. You've given us something to ponder beyond the "If it bleeds
it leads" philosophy of news reporting. Thank you.I was both
surprised and pleased at comments by Ron Yengich. It has been far too easy for
me over the years to equate him with the "bad guys" he represents.Beyond the spiritual there seems to be physical evidence that turning the
other cheek and not "judging" is beneficial for the forgiver. Another witness
that Christ's words are "true."I've got a long way to go.
That was uplifting. We need more of this ...
According to Hugh Nibley, we are here, in this mortal existence, to learn two
things: forgiveness and repentance. Thank you for giving some insight and
examples as to how we, as individuals, might go down that road a little further.
This truly is a subject worth researching and discussing, as it provides
healing and produces miracles. Please keep publishing stories on this subject.
Fantastic article! By far the best article I've read in deseret news all year.
This is a must read for everyone. Thank you!
This is the hardest article I have read in a long time, because it strikes close
to home, and renews deep sadness in our family. So many news stories are of
death or destruction. A positive news article is a nice change of pace. Im
reminded of a LDS teaching admonition of Paul- we have endured many things, and
hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or
of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. I too will be saving
a copy of this article for a time in need.
Mercy cannot rob justice. Let us forgive freely but we don't need to advocate
the dismissal of justice and put all the crooks right back on the street to do
the same thing again.Those guilty of crimes should pay for, and be
accountable for thier actions. This article quoted another case where the
vicitm's family advocated leniency for the person who commited the crime. That
is not forgiveness that is social irresponsibility. I do agree with
forgiving those that do ill against us but they do need to satisfy justice for
A wonderful story and one that everyone should read and ponder and reflect on.
I thought it interesting that Stacy Hanson, the man who lost his son in the
Trolley Square shooting and he who himself is paralyzed and is trying to rebuild
his life....I thought it interesting and truly understandable his comments about
why he wants to stand again...so he can give Talovic, the shooter the bird. He
is still going through his process but I don't think, based on his comments in
today's story, that he has forgiven Talovic for what he did. I am not saying he
should because we all deal with pain/grief/heartache differently. I only hope
and pray that one day he can not only walk but that he will, when he does
walk...choose to not flip off Talovic. That he will choose to forgive.
I appreciated the writer's research explaining emotional forgiveness.
Forgiveness certainly is a process and it takes work. Our own personalities are
part of the mix.I was in that congregation in West Jordan and heard
him speak. He is a brave, impressive man who will work hard to make a good life
for his remaining children.
Wonderful article. Thank you.
Masterful story telling introducing us to people who have truely followed the
Master's teachings and have overcome the natural man. I would hope
to be so devout and understanding. Until then I'll continue wearing the sandwich
board sign: Work in Progress.
The Peril of Hidden WedgesA faller's wedge placed in a treeRemained where it ought not to be.The branches grew and swelled
around.And then one night without a sound-An ice storm weighed the
burdened trunk.And down the branches went- kerplunk.Some
feelings hurt and trouble so.But, to others they do not know.It
festers much and builds inside,Though how hard one might try to hide.Till one day it resurfaces.And lays more blame with purposes.A hidden wedge placed long ago.Has pierced my heart and now does
grow.Where it can canker easily.Imagined hurts and jealousyMust be resolved, and then destroyed,For life was meant to be
enjoyed.A burden shared is always best.When we solve hurts,
lay them to rest,The enemy becomes a friend.When we forgive there is
an end.We close the gap, we sort it out.That's what life is truly
Thou who knows of all suffering, Please help me to love and to
forgive. When my doubts turn to murmuring,And I dwell on the pain
that I relive.Till my heart grows so cold and so dim.Please help me
to change from within.Please help me to forgive all men.Please
prompt me that I will keep my resolve,And set my mind for when a tragedy
strikesThat I'll pray hatred can quickly dissolve. This I'll do
before resentment spikes.When I forgive, my thoughts will not distort.And I won't folly through some retort.I will seek Thee, for Thy love and
comfort.And of those who are hardened criminals.Who avoid
facing all their deeper needs.Help them face judgment unto prison
walls.Where we can begin to plant in them seeds.They, also, have
much pain to undergo.For what price it takes to repent with woe.Help
me share with them the sweet peace I know.The Healing Power of
Forgiveness- President Faust
A true example of modern day Crist-like love. We need to hear more.
There are several ways to look at this article. I have heard that every
community has amazingness in it, but we only get mass exposure to community
amazingness if those with the skill and resources publish it. Therefore, along
with Chris Williams, Gary Ceran, the forgiving mother of the shooting victim and
the other forgivers mentioned, Elaine Jarvik (the writer) is also a critical,
brilliant part of this story.Elaine Jarvik, whom I have never met,
once wrote a story about 10-12 years ago about a man, and the story was so
provoking, I still remember the phrase it taught me: "hug therapy." I wonder
if she remembers that story. It too, was brilliant.Part of the
genius of a good story is in the subjects of the story, and part of the genius
is in the telling of the story.
A fine article that inspires and uplifts. We casually throw around the term
hero in too many cases but for many of the subjects of your article the word
demands a role. The article was so well done that I saved it to
share with my children and to use anytime I ever have an opportunity to discuss
forgiveness and love. I am glad to know there are such amazing
examples in our society. Thank you for writing it and for finding it
Thank you for publishing this article. There are many fine, strong people here
in this state, who can lead the way. Let's not let the hateful grab all the
headlines.So please print more stories like this.