Comments about ‘Man exercises a year of forgiveness after drunk teen driver kills wife, two children’

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Published: Monday, April 8 2013 9:00 a.m. MDT

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Thank you for publishing this article. There are many fine, strong people here in this state, who can lead the way. Let's not let the hateful grab all the headlines.
So please print more stories like this.

Now that's newsworthy...

A fine article that inspires and uplifts. We casually throw around the term hero in too many cases but for many of the subjects of your article the word demands a role.

The article was so well done that I saved it to share with my children and to use anytime I ever have an opportunity to discuss forgiveness and love.

I am glad to know there are such amazing examples in our society. Thank you for writing it and for finding it newsworthy.

Jarvik = Excellence

There are several ways to look at this article. I have heard that every community has amazingness in it, but we only get mass exposure to community amazingness if those with the skill and resources publish it. Therefore, along with Chris Williams, Gary Ceran, the forgiving mother of the shooting victim and the other forgivers mentioned, Elaine Jarvik (the writer) is also a critical, brilliant part of this story.

Elaine Jarvik, whom I have never met, once wrote a story about 10-12 years ago about a man, and the story was so provoking, I still remember the phrase it taught me: "hug therapy." I wonder if she remembers that story. It too, was brilliant.

Part of the genius of a good story is in the subjects of the story, and part of the genius is in the telling of the story.


A true example of modern day Crist-like love. We need to hear more.

kelly miller

Thou who knows of all suffering,
Please help me to love and to forgive.
When my doubts turn to murmuring,
And I dwell on the pain that I relive.
Till my heart grows so cold and so dim.
Please help me to change from within.
Please help me to forgive all men.

Please prompt me that I will keep my resolve,
And set my mind for when a tragedy strikes
That I'll pray hatred can quickly dissolve.
This I'll do before resentment spikes.
When I forgive, my thoughts will not distort.
And I won't folly through some retort.
I will seek Thee, for Thy love and comfort.

And of those who are hardened criminals.
Who avoid facing all their deeper needs.
Help them face judgment unto prison walls.
Where we can begin to plant in them seeds.
They, also, have much pain to undergo.
For what price it takes to repent with woe.
Help me share with them the sweet peace I know.

The Healing Power of Forgiveness- President Faust

kelly miller

The Peril of Hidden Wedges

A faller's wedge placed in a tree
Remained where it ought not to be.
The branches grew and swelled around.
And then one night without a sound-
An ice storm weighed the burdened trunk.
And down the branches went- kerplunk.

Some feelings hurt and trouble so.
But, to others they do not know.
It festers much and builds inside,
Though how hard one might try to hide.
Till one day it resurfaces.
And lays more blame with purposes.

A hidden wedge placed long ago.
Has pierced my heart and now does grow.
Where it can canker easily.
Imagined hurts and jealousy
Must be resolved, and then destroyed,
For life was meant to be enjoyed.

A burden shared is always best.
When we solve hurts, lay them to rest,
The enemy becomes a friend.
When we forgive there is an end.
We close the gap, we sort it out.
That's what life is truly about!
President Monson

Better Men Than I

Masterful story telling introducing us to people who have truely followed the Master's teachings and have overcome the natural man.

I would hope to be so devout and understanding. Until then I'll continue wearing the sandwich board sign: Work in Progress.


Wonderful article. Thank you.


I appreciated the writer's research explaining emotional forgiveness. Forgiveness certainly is a process and it takes work. Our own personalities are part of the mix.

I was in that congregation in West Jordan and heard him speak. He is a brave, impressive man who will work hard to make a good life for his remaining children.


A wonderful story and one that everyone should read and ponder and reflect on. I thought it interesting that Stacy Hanson, the man who lost his son in the Trolley Square shooting and he who himself is paralyzed and is trying to rebuild his life....I thought it interesting and truly understandable his comments about why he wants to stand again...so he can give Talovic, the shooter the bird. He is still going through his process but I don't think, based on his comments in today's story, that he has forgiven Talovic for what he did. I am not saying he should because we all deal with pain/grief/heartache differently. I only hope and pray that one day he can not only walk but that he will, when he does walk...choose to not flip off Talovic. That he will choose to forgive.


Mercy cannot rob justice. Let us forgive freely but we don't need to advocate the dismissal of justice and put all the crooks right back on the street to do the same thing again.
Those guilty of crimes should pay for, and be accountable for thier actions.
This article quoted another case where the vicitm's family advocated leniency for the person who commited the crime. That is not forgiveness that is social irresponsibility.
I do agree with forgiving those that do ill against us but they do need to satisfy justice for thier actions.


This is the hardest article I have read in a long time, because it strikes close to home, and renews deep sadness in our family. So many news stories are of death or destruction. A positive news article is a nice change of pace. Im reminded of a LDS teaching admonition of Paul- we have endured many things, and hope to be able to endure all things. If there is anything virtuous, lovely, or of good report or praiseworthy, we seek after these things. I too will be saving a copy of this article for a time in need.


Fantastic article! By far the best article I've read in deseret news all year. This is a must read for everyone. Thank you!


According to Hugh Nibley, we are here, in this mortal existence, to learn two things: forgiveness and repentance. Thank you for giving some insight and examples as to how we, as individuals, might go down that road a little further. This truly is a subject worth researching and discussing, as it provides healing and produces miracles. Please keep publishing stories on this subject.

Thank you

That was uplifting. We need more of this ...

Pause for Thought

Wonderful article. You've given us something to ponder beyond the "If it bleeds it leads" philosophy of news reporting. Thank you.

I was both surprised and pleased at comments by Ron Yengich. It has been far too easy for me over the years to equate him with the "bad guys" he represents.

Beyond the spiritual there seems to be physical evidence that turning the other cheek and not "judging" is beneficial for the forgiver. Another witness that Christ's words are "true."

I've got a long way to go.


Fantastic Article. Best story I have read this year! Thank You!

A Quote To Remember

It has been said; " Hate is like taking poison and hoping the other person dies. "


I am so impressed with Chris Williams. His courage and understanding is so admirable and I hope to learn from this. I'm very grateful that this article was printed! I've been trying not to cry while reading it at work!


A great reminder to us all. The perspective that these individuals have is what many look for, but few find. Most that view themselves as being "wronged" against are so consumed with hate, anger, animosity and vengence that their life becomes selfish, one-dimensional and destructive of others. Stories like this help us all to refocus on what's truly important and get a clue about how ridiculous most of our "pity parties" really are.

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