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The tragedy of the 'kidnapped bride'
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Pick your own? | 2:25 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
They are required to get counseling, but allowed to just go out and pick someone
who rubber-stamps their view? D-U-M-B
Justin | 2:57 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
The Redd family was completely in the wrong on this one. To keep their daughter
from getting married is a travesty and a mockery of the sacredness of temple
marriage and the sanctity of the family. How dare they keep their daughter from
attaining eternal happiness. Here's to you, Perry and Julianna. You truly
earned the companionship you worked hard to have in your lives. May God bless
you in your endeavors together as husband and wife, mother and father.
A Caring Parent | 3:56 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
What a sad commentary on family relations. It sounds to me like the parents feel
like they are infallible. The only reason they admitted any guilt was to avoid
jail time.
The irony of it all is that they think Perry Myers is controlling and manipulative but they see nothing wrong or comparative in their actions. The parents need a thorough mental health review
The irony of it all is that they think Perry Myers is controlling and manipulative but they see nothing wrong or comparative in their actions. The parents need a thorough mental health review
Comments continue below
Ross | 5:13 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
This is sad. The Myers need to be aware that their children will treat them the
way they treated their parents. With children is seems to be so true, what goes
around comes around.
Very strange... | 6:00 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
These two parents still don't get it. And the 'therapist' is
duped as well by their line. Having parents with eerily similar symptoms, I know
this will never change. These people are in their own reality. I am familiar
with a situation where the parents also blame everyone else for the problem but
themselves and act like the children are being ungrateful and disobedient. It is
frustrating because you can't tell whether it is a mental illness or just
misbehavior. Myers should never get involved with these people again.
rmk | 6:25 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
As a social worker and a therapist I am shocked that the "family
friend" Reese Thomas doesn't see what an ethical breach he is involved
with. It is a huge conflict of interest to counsel or engage in therapy with
anyone with whom you have had a previous relationship. Pre existing
relationships prevent the therapist from being objective (and objectivity can be
difficult to begin with). The Redd family is being poorly served by this
therapist.
This will get me banned | 6:26 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
I never quite understood why this man's parents called him
"Lemuel". One wonders if the parents actually understood the Book of
Mormon. Isn't it a little bit like naming someone "Adolf" or
"Osama"?
Alan Olsen | 6:38 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
The Redds called Perry Myers evil, spread lies about him, and now they want to
�welcome him into the family�? My
advice to Julianna and Perry would be to stay away from her mother if they want
their marriage to last. My advice to Lemuel Redd would be to stand up straight,
grow a backbone, be a man, and stop hiding in his wife�s
shadow.
Mimi | 6:54 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Sounds like there's some potential for healing here but it will not happen
overnight. It would be nice to see this family reconciled.
Janis | 6:59 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
This was so ludicrous of them to behave this way. My daughter got married 10
years ago. I did not necessarily like the person she picked out to be her
husband. He was nothing like I had imagined or even wanted for my daughter.
I've learned to appreciate him; he is still far from what I wanted for her.
But he is good to her and good to their children. What more would any parent
want. Sometimes children make choices that we as parents do not want them to
do. But sometimes, just sometimes, things work out better from their choice
than from ours.
jbh | 7:23 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
i hope her husband truly loves her, shes fighting a battle against her family, i
hope hes worth it. how sad it had to come to this, but i admire her courage to
stand up for her rights, my best to the bride. it also goes toshow you that a
parent will do anything to protect their kids. the bride will understand this
when she herself becomes a mom
Mike | 7:37 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Patents do not always know best. Good to see her live her life like she wants to
Ken Baguley | 7:48 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
All need to forgive and forget...Carry On!
Don't talk to the press | 7:51 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
A little advice for Julianna----Stop talking to the press. The quicker you stop
doing interviews and allowing the media into your life the faster the healing
proccess will be able to start.
Guaglione | 8:19 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Now I'm not saying that what the parents did was right, but what if it
turns out their instincts about Perry were right? It would be interesting to
follow this marriage and see how it ends up. Throughout the whole story
we've really only heard the "kidnapped bride's" side of the
story. What if it turns out to be a completely different story in a year or
two?
Theo Schlbotnick | 8:21 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Let's hope the story of these "people" will now dissapear forever
from the media. "Great" representation of the people of Utah. Thanks
Redd Family.
who's talking to the press | 9:14 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
The last comment is so ignorant. Haven't you been watching the
story...the only real comments in this article come from the parents...the only
commetns made in the last month come from the parents. And the only time I have
ever seen the bride talk was after her parents got on making more excusses for
themselves, probably fabricating information. As there story changes everytime
they speak. The only ones that appear to be seeking the press is the Parents.
SG | 9:34 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
To really be able to move on, Julianna and her husband should move from the
state. Yes it is fairly easy to track somebody through the internet but if they
were to move to the other side of the country, say, then it would be harder for
the Redd's to get at them again. I don't believe there has been any
change in the parents and I wouldn't trust them to be anywhere near either
one of them. I think Julianna and her husband need to get as far away as they
can not only to protect themselves but to protect their child.
mecr | 9:36 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
I may be the only one who disagrees here. i don't justify her parents'
actions at all. They did go too far. I understand the bride taking them to
court. After all, they broke the law. But reading her comments during and after
court, it really doesn't display any sign from her about forgiveness or
desiree to heal but actually all about reveange. They pleaded guilty and said
sorry, what else is she looking for? We had read in the news about fathers who
had lost their wives/kids who had really forgave their loved ones' killers.
To heal, dear Juliane, you need to forgive first because it's required to
us to forgive all. Just remember, you are your mother's daughter and
chances are, you can be the same way as your mother. Forgiveness is the key.
Frank | 10:00 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
I actually got to know Perry a couple years back and I can agree with his wifes
comment that he is strong willed. In fact I'm not his biggest fan. Yet in
general he's a good guy, if he had married my daughter I may not have liked
it but I wouldnt be afraid of him being a bad husband.
concerned in Magna | 10:33 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Our Heavenly Father is committed to the agency of all His children. Force of
any kind, whether a child is two or twelve or twenty-two, is not of the Lord.
Control by force and power over another is not of the Lord.
Anonymous | 10:34 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
What makes you all think that you have the inside story? Get on with your own
lives.
MoveOn | 10:41 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
SG you're right - except the Redd's should move! My understanding is
he's a cattle rancher so they should have some money tied up in real
estate. Advice to Redds: Sell it, invest the money, move to a warm climate and
live out your lives. Rewrite your will to give everything to charity when you
pass on. Nothing brings the relatives back around like money or the chance they
might be cut out of the will! ;)
tiff | 10:45 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Sounds to me like someone traded in a strong-willed mother for a strong-willed
husband, and the control-freak mom couldn't stand losing control. Wish
this kid had gotten a chance to live life on her own for awhile, before turning
herself over to another controlling influence. Which is, I bet, really what
people mean when they say "strong-willed." It means someone who wants
their way. I hope Julianna gets HER way from time to time.
Objective Bystander | 10:46 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Strong willed = Needy = Loser (Get out Julianna with your baby while you can).
Don't go home to your loser parents either.
Weldon | 10:48 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
You know those shows where the total psycho person is able to gain support from
those around them while totally tearing up everyone;s lives? I think it is the
son in law that has problems. He seems so controlling and the daughter seems
really a push over. I mean she is only 20! Who wants their daughter to marry a
controlling man at that age.
Come on people, things are not always as they appear!
Come on people, things are not always as they appear!
at | 10:57 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
mecr ... What's clear is that you have never been a similar circumstance.
You're right that forgiveness is critical, but this new marriage of
Julianna's is a more critical relationship than that with her parents. I
was told flat out by my parents that I shouldn't marry and that my marriage
wouldn't last over a year with my now wife of 13+ years. They tried to
block the marriage, but it was clear to me that they were wrong in their
assessment of my wife. Sometimes honoring your father and mother means
something altogether different than what we are taught as children. Now, we
have reconciled with my parents, but my relationship with them has been forever
changed. In today's world it is often the parents that are the source of
arrogance and ignorance, and it is the responsibility of the child to overcome
generational habits that are destructive. Forgiveness, yes, but also protection
of something more sacred and important.
Anonymous | 11:07 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
If that guy wanted to marry my daughter I'd have dragged her kicking and
screaming to a S.Pacific island. She'd be screaming and I would be kicking.
forgive and forget | 11:08 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
I find it interesting that the 911 calls got destroyed? What did Perry Myers
say on these tapes that the prosecutors didn't want anyone to hear?
Advice to Juliana, quit being so negative. You were never like that before. The more I see you the more I see your mother in you. forgive and forget.
Advice to Juliana, quit being so negative. You were never like that before. The more I see you the more I see your mother in you. forgive and forget.
Frank | 11:29 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
I have to agree with tiff(10:45). It does seem she went from one domineering
person to another, but some people like that. Theres all types of people and
some love being held by the hand everywhere they go. I have a friend like that
who would do just as well on their own as a house cat in the sahara.
Heres hoping after all this she's finaly happy and can stay that way.
Heres hoping after all this she's finaly happy and can stay that way.
only down this way! | 11:34 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
This isn't indicative of Utah only the county in which they reside! Cross
the line and things change, maybe these guys needed to get pulled over by UHP!
Krudd | 11:42 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007
So so sad.
Sad because her wedding was ruined.
Sad because this puts a dim view of the church for the whole world to see.
Sad because,this family will probably never be close.
I just don't see a winner anywhere here.
Sad because her wedding was ruined.
Sad because this puts a dim view of the church for the whole world to see.
Sad because,this family will probably never be close.
I just don't see a winner anywhere here.
Anonymous | 12:11 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
I would hate to be Perry at the family Christmas dinner!
sara | 12:35 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
It seems that Julianna has spent her life being controlled, first by her parents
and now by her husband. A recommendation for a good husband is not "Well he
has never hurt me." He sounds pretty scary to me. I hope she will someday
get a chance to make her own decisions.
JeffGold | 12:40 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Hopefully they will be able to regain their privacy and forgive each other.
Hopefully the rest of us can refrain from judgement and respect their privacy.
Oh, please | 12:44 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Finally, all the parties involved show some common sense and this ridiculous
case is finally closed. The charges shouldn't have been filed in the first
place, but at least everyone has belatedly realized that sending the Redds to
prison after a circus trial is not in anyone's best interest.
As for the family dynamics, I feel sorry for the Redds and the Myers. Sorry that we had to witness the spectacle of your dysfunctional families slugging it out in the media, sorry we had to listen to your woe-is-me victimhood whines, sorry we had to get embarrassing glimpses of your inner demons. My advice to all of you is to go home and shut up and try to learn something from this fiasco.
But for some nagging reason, I suspect there will be a book/made-for-TV movie from the daughter coming soon. Blecch.
As for the family dynamics, I feel sorry for the Redds and the Myers. Sorry that we had to witness the spectacle of your dysfunctional families slugging it out in the media, sorry we had to listen to your woe-is-me victimhood whines, sorry we had to get embarrassing glimpses of your inner demons. My advice to all of you is to go home and shut up and try to learn something from this fiasco.
But for some nagging reason, I suspect there will be a book/made-for-TV movie from the daughter coming soon. Blecch.
Expectations | 12:44 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Of course the parents were in the wrong! That's why they pleaded
"Guilty"! That's not a question anymore.
Now it's time to move on, but I doubt that is ever going to happend for them. Even after the father apologised and said, "We just hope that things can heal now. We want Julianna to know we are sorry and we take responsibility"... That is not enough?
What does she want???
The article said, "Dispite that acknowledgement, Myers is concerned that her parents still harbor negative opinions about her now-husband Perry Meyers"... (is that a crime?). So now the daughter gets the apology she asked for but also wants to dictate her parent's thoughts and opinions? Sounds like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Does she want the parents sent to a concentration camp or something until they change their negative opinions of her husband? After the way he's treated them and ruined them in court and in the press?
I hope they can heal now but it doesn't sound likely.
Now it's time to move on, but I doubt that is ever going to happend for them. Even after the father apologised and said, "We just hope that things can heal now. We want Julianna to know we are sorry and we take responsibility"... That is not enough?
What does she want???
The article said, "Dispite that acknowledgement, Myers is concerned that her parents still harbor negative opinions about her now-husband Perry Meyers"... (is that a crime?). So now the daughter gets the apology she asked for but also wants to dictate her parent's thoughts and opinions? Sounds like the apple doesn't fall far from the tree.
Does she want the parents sent to a concentration camp or something until they change their negative opinions of her husband? After the way he's treated them and ruined them in court and in the press?
I hope they can heal now but it doesn't sound likely.
Tragedy? | 1:06 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
This may be a sad, pathetic story, but a tragedy... please!
Hopeful for the Myers | 1:20 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
I had the fortune of home-teaching the Myers during the aftermath of this
incident. They are wonderful people and pretty funny, too (in a LOL way). Perry
was more than willing to help me with real estate questions I had before I
moved. I'm sure their lives will be happy even though they'll have
other problems like everyone else, but I'm glad for them that all this is
finally coming to a close. Perry and Julianna, if you read this, God bless you.
I hope you and your daughter are well.
Glennamaddy | 1:26 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Yes, I've watched enough episodes of Law & Order to understand the
concept of plea bargaining, but considering all their huffing and puffing at the
time that this "vicious kidnapping" took place, it would be nice if
the prosecutors would say a little bit more about their reasons for now agreeing
to let these "violent criminals" out on the street.
Sad story all the way around | 1:55 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Don't get me wrong what the parents did was wrong. You can not force an
adult to do what you want when you want and how you want. But I saw the
"kidnapped bride" and husband on the today show. And you have to
wonder if they don't like the publicity? If you loved your family
wouldn't you stay out of the news and keep it private out of respect for
your parents and siblings? Or do you like everyone thinking your family is
crazy it must be really hard on all of her sisters too!
Sad Aunt | 2:16 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Have any of you lived with the aftermath of a loved one's poor choice in a
spouse? Have any of you helped raise the children who are the victims when such
a marriage falls apart? If this guy turns out to be a great husband and father,
wonderful. Time will make that abundantly clear. Julianna is in a tough spot.
If her beloved turns out to be abusive and controlling (validating her
parents' concerns), she can hardly let anyone know. Granted, the Redds
took their concerns to an extreme. But if you've seen what I've seen
in bad marriages, you might consider similar steps in hopes of preventing a real
tragedy.
she knows her parents! | 2:31 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Better than anyone, there are many forms of abuse now the myers need to look
after their own. You only have your children for a little while, no one owns
them , only the creator with the greatest gift being LOVE!
Angie | 2:58 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
The Redds should have known they cannot stop another person making their own
choices. They knew that we all have our free agency. Did they really think their
daughter would go along with their plans to the end? Maybe they really are
mental...
I wish the new Meyers family the best, and hope they can forgive Mr. and Mrs. Redd one day.
I wish the new Meyers family the best, and hope they can forgive Mr. and Mrs. Redd one day.
Becky | 3:12 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
I have learned that you cannot trust much of what you read in the paper. This
is a sad story that should not have been handled publicly. To force it into a
public forum is a red flag. This story will go on for
generations...unfortunately. The facts are....well, I guess none of us really
know. The true face of the players will only be revealed in the years to come
and the way they continue from here. It is such a volatile life they now lead,
I would hope they can rise above their previous behavior - all of them.
Floopster | 3:13 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Hmmmm...I remember hearing somewhere that we should honor our mother and our
father.
Parent mental illness | 3:20 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
I'll admit right up front that I don't know these folks, but I'm
a father of five - three of them now married and I'm thrilled with their
choices.
Loving parents all have high ideals and expectations of their children. When kids seem to make choices that parents believe will lead to unhappiness they will do something about it - even to the point of grounding their child (OH NO, THAT'S UNLAWFUL ARREST AND DETENTION). Admittedly this young lady is not a child, but how many 20 year olds have screwed up their lives with a bad choice.
The judge says these folks aren't rational - maybe if he got off his bench and played the role of father he'd see how difficult it is to be rational some times as a parent - how many parents have said, "because I said so." Is that rational?
It seems to me that this "daughter" never honored her parents enough to give them time to reconsile the situation. I think there's plenty of mental illness to go around. The honeymoon ain't over yet - good luck, you'll need it.
Loving parents all have high ideals and expectations of their children. When kids seem to make choices that parents believe will lead to unhappiness they will do something about it - even to the point of grounding their child (OH NO, THAT'S UNLAWFUL ARREST AND DETENTION). Admittedly this young lady is not a child, but how many 20 year olds have screwed up their lives with a bad choice.
The judge says these folks aren't rational - maybe if he got off his bench and played the role of father he'd see how difficult it is to be rational some times as a parent - how many parents have said, "because I said so." Is that rational?
It seems to me that this "daughter" never honored her parents enough to give them time to reconsile the situation. I think there's plenty of mental illness to go around. The honeymoon ain't over yet - good luck, you'll need it.
Anonymous | 3:31 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
Sad is right. Actually the Meyers need counceling
mecr | 4:14 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
at: as I said, forgiveness is the key and I also noted that the Redds did go too
far away. But, as other people after me noted, the bride is not displaying any
sign of mercy towards her parents. As someone said "what does she want?
send them to a concentration camp?". That's the impression that I got
and was meaning about. The fith commandment does not include any little print as
exceptions or cases only this commandment applies. She should remember that. As
I said, she's her mother's daughter.
Loving your children | 4:19 p.m. Nov. 29, 2007
For the last comment, I understand your point on having high ideals and
expectations for our children. However, we all have free agency and part of our
love should be to respect that. We can NOT force our children to do our will and
act like dictators. If you have a hard time to be "rational" as a
parent, most probably you need some counseling too.
REMEMBER, be careful how you treat your children because they are the ones who are going to pick your nursing home when your time comes.
REMEMBER, be careful how you treat your children because they are the ones who are going to pick your nursing home when your time comes.
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