Deseret News | Reader comments: Help for abused kids

Reader comments
Help for abused kids

a caring mom | 5:44 a.m. Nov. 6, 2007

Family is definately more important than the money! Great decision!

chief | 6:08 a.m. Nov. 6, 2007

Hats off to Utah for challenging the Federal Government in what they think is best for their state. I hope this move proves to be very successful in the lives of so many children. Perhaps Texas will take note.

Debbie | 6:57 a.m. Nov. 6, 2007

This is an important move. Thanks to Wayne Harper for taking it on and making it happen. Even though there are risks no matter who gets the kids, the benefits will outweigh the potential problems here. Automatically assuming foster placement is better because the background checks have been done is not correct thinking. I understand the rigorous training that foster parents undergo but in an emotionally chaotic life, some familiarity to the child is critical. Most grandparents, aunts, uncles, and cousins would be the best alternative, reserving foster care for those who truly need those limited services and have no other choice. We would like to believe that DCFS workers are always right too, but they are often inexperienced and they make incorrect judgment calls - at times removing children without proper investigation. When they err, as anyone could, it can take months and more money than most of us have to correct it. Meanwhile, in every case where they were wrong, children and parents are further harmed by removal. Fortunately this is rare, but I think I trust them better to recognize a safe or unsafe grandparent, even if they were wrong about the original home situation.

Comments continue below

mom | 8:25 a.m. Nov. 6, 2007

Thank heaven they are doing this! If my children were abusing their babies nobody would take better care of them than I would because I adore them and want the best for them. Nobody can care for a child like a stable and loving grandparent. Thank God my children are good parents but if they were not the kids know that they are always safe with me.

Steve | 8:40 a.m. Nov. 6, 2007

Great move! It is wonderful to see the right thing being done in spite of the potential to lose federal dollars.

Statman | 8:49 a.m. Nov. 6, 2007

Abuse is typically "passed on" from one generation to another. Therefore, abused children being turned over to grandparents may be even more likely to be abused by those who "taught" the parents to abuse in the first place.

We need to be careful about such simpleminded ideas as "family is always more important and better than non-family." The statistics say otherwise.

doing it anyway... | 9:21 a.m. Nov. 6, 2007

They (DCFS) have been doing it anyway. They don't "remove" the child; they allow the grandma to take the child out of "immediate danger". Then they allow the grandma to decide if it is ï¿½OKï¿½ to let the child return. The grandma often protects herself and her own children BEFORE protecting the grandchild. This happened to one child for three years. It is still going on now. The grandmother raised her own children in abuse/neglectï¿½ why should things change for a grandchild?
Children need to know abuse is wrong! They need to know they will be protected! The parents need a ï¿½time outï¿½ and the children need to know about it.

Foster parent and grandparent | 10:32 a.m. Nov. 6, 2007

I have been a foster parent for many years and have seen many families that cause grief to their children and grandchildren. But their are parents that need the added support of the extended family that will not come to their aid, or that will cause more problems than help. Investigation into the lives of the families in necessary.
But the child needs love and until the family feud or aid is satisfactory then foster parents are there to love and care for them as well as help the family survive the crisis. Grandparents and other family members are not held at bay when a child is in foster care, their visits and loving manner is needed and asked for.
Bottom line we need to be careful and wisely put the child in the best place for their safety, help, and loving environment. As a grandparent if my child had problems I would be involved way before the state was there to help the child and grandchild to have help. safety and loving environment. Everyone needs to be involved before it comes to this. Neighbors, teachers and other family members and friends. STOP IT BEFORE IT GETS To THIS

Rita | 11:06 a.m. Nov. 6, 2007

I think that this is a great move. However, the whole Department of Child and Family service needs to be revamped. You cannot apply a set of standards to each case. Each case is unique and should be handled on an individual basis. I have had my own experiences with DCFS and many of the employees, rules, practices are damaging and the results, heartbreaking. This department is, at times, out of control.

Rita | 11:26 a.m. Nov. 6, 2007

This is a great move. I feel however, that the department of child and family services needs to be revamped. There definitely needs to be a reform to this entire program. You cannot apply the standard to each case. Each case is unique and should be handled on an individual basis. The employees, the Department, the practice is so questionable and the results, tragic. DCFS NEEDS CHANGE!!!

former dcfs worker | 1:40 p.m. Nov. 6, 2007

I agree with Rita and Debbie.. DCFS needs to change the way they train workers. Sitting in a room for 3 months learning "theory" and then placed in the field with little or no practical experience. I do think that the regulation change will help children generally but for the ones not in this group need caseworkers who know what to do.

anonymous | 3:00 p.m. Nov. 6, 2007

I was abused as a child, and placing me with many of my relatives would have just continued the abuse. I also am intimately familiar with a situation where children are currently being abused by their mother, who lives with her parents, who is also supposed to be evaluated by dcfs and nothing. The grandparents are not stopping the abuse that is occurring in front of them. This is a very very bad idea. Since abuse is learned and passed on from generation to generation. I can't believe that they are allowing this. If relatives aren't passing the screenings maybe there is actually a reason for this. Anyone thought of that? Most people know if abuse is occurring, nobody does anything about it.

Squiggley | 4:11 p.m. Nov. 6, 2007

The state of Maine could learn from Utah. In the mid to late 80s in York county alone the percentage of children removed from their home was higher than in the whole state with less then 25 percent of the children being placed with extended family members. The sadder thing was that many of the foster homes were worse than the homes that the children had been originally removed from. Maine also makes good on quickly adopting children out of foster care claiming that it is in the best interest of the child. The kids are messed up and some suffer with accute attachment disorder which the psyciatrist that work for CPS try to blame on the birthparents only to have the child as an adult learn later that a number of the child's emotional problems come from being removed from what may have been a loving home.

Also for those kids who end up in foster care some parents are forced to pay child support - but not all.

Quick Background checks | 4:18 p.m. Nov. 6, 2007

While a relative is often a good immediate choice, they can also be just as bad (or even worse) than the parents. It seems a quick check on a potential placement could be made on site with any patrol officer. Police have access to various data on the computers in their cars, and if a potential placement was able to "come up clean" then placement with that person/home ought to go forward until more permanent arrangements can be found.
Obviously, if a potential placement rings up a long rap sheet, multiple domestic violence calls, or has a history with drugs etc. etc. etc. this typically shows up. The process is used to help keep our peace officers safer as they have a better knowledge of what they're getting into. The system isn't perfect, but it seems it could help kids too.
Being taken from a parent (even an strung-out abusive one) is traumatic. Anything that can mitigate that trauma should be used.

A Father hurt | 7:08 p.m. Nov. 6, 2007

My wife and suffered, 20+ years ago from a Mistake made by a social worker in another state. Lies were made, believed and acted upon, by the social worker.
I took use several weeks to get the kids back. A lawer had to hired (lawer discovered the lies) to fight the system. It took every penny we had plus what we could borrow to straigten out the mess. The sad part, no action was ever taken against the social worker who caused the problems. It just got buried. No charges were ever filed against my wife and myself, the social worker lied, but the State refused to give us even a penny to help. I even had to pay for the transportation home for my children since they had been moved out of the area of "safety".
I no longer trust the system at all.
Lets go with the grandparents and family

worker | 7:28 p.m. Nov. 14, 2007

It is an imperfect system with imperfect people, but all are trying the best they can to keep children safe. There is no simple solution.

susan | 1:24 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

I am having a hard time with some of your comments, If the parents are neglecting or abusing it does not necessarly mean the grandparents are also abusive. I am concerned with utahs dcfs all together. I know for a fact, they do not listen to the childs pediatrition, nor the family, nor the facts. They act hostle to any citizen who dares to challenge them, the best interests of the child do not ever mean anything here..I believe money talks to dcfs here, and they have no systen of checks and balances. They are accountable to no one. In my case they took a severly handicaped child away from the grandmother she loved, because the mother broke the law. They were told by the family and the dr, that this child needed her grandmother, and she may just give up without her. They then lied to the grandmother, the caseworkers lied in open court to a judge, the little girl dies 3 months later she just needed her grandma. she gave up without her. Do you think that even one of those cold uncaring people took responsibility for this.....no way. but that little girl is still dead.

american | 1:58 a.m. Nov. 29, 2007

I would like to know why my coment was removed, it was not abusive it was painfully honest, and it needed to be said I would like an answer.

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