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Daughter of polygamist writes of LDS women
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Boy's Club | 4:40 p.m. Oct. 31, 2007
In any system where one sex is supposed to be subserviant to the other - that
system is a monstrous one.
The Girl's Club | 5:13 p.m. Oct. 31, 2007
To Boy's Club | 4:40 p.m.
I don't think "monstrous" is the right word. Let's try Abominable, horrendous, immoral, evil... Those words work.
I don't think "monstrous" is the right word. Let's try Abominable, horrendous, immoral, evil... Those words work.
Anonymous | 5:58 p.m. Oct. 31, 2007
Call it what you want, but the more we become aware of the damage patriarchal
systems have done to the
world - the better.
world - the better.
Comments continue below
Dal | 8:36 p.m. Oct. 31, 2007
Interesting that Solomon left polygamy and is now an active member of The Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. That is not easy to do. The Brethren are
very careful about people from polygamy coming into the Church because so many
have been deceptive in order to get into Temples (especially St. George Temple)
while still participating in the polygamist lifestyle.
I have not read the book yet. Does she deal with the problems of patriarchal abuse, and how does she feel about the clearly male-dominated, patriarchal/hierarchical system in the LDS Church?
I have not read the book yet. Does she deal with the problems of patriarchal abuse, and how does she feel about the clearly male-dominated, patriarchal/hierarchical system in the LDS Church?
Katie | 11:10 p.m. Oct. 31, 2007
I wanted to write specifically to "Convert's" comments. I too,
am a convert and have been a member for almost five years. I have a strong
testimony of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. I too, do not
understand polygamy and for quite some time, felt entirely uncomfortable with
that part of the Church's past. I have found peace, however, with the idea
that some things I will never understand--never, and God is not asking me to
understand this aspect of Church history. What he is asking me to understand is
the basic, gospel principles. Sometimes we have to "elide" -- as
William Faulker once stated, over the past. To me, this includes the practice
of polygamy. I don't understand it and like you, probably never will--but
I know that the principles of the Church are true and bring peace to my busy and
hectic life, and that is all I need to know.
Abish | 11:37 p.m. Oct. 31, 2007
Let me say that as a single mother trying to make this life work, I
wouldn't mind being a second wife or a third. Sometimes I need help and the
companionship of someone who knows what it means to struggle with family, health
and financial concerns. I want a secure home and a wise husband; a strong
shoulder to lean on. I don't want a married man but hey if that's all
that's out there...okay. Just kidding. I strongly believe in fidelity, but
if we stop and think about it, there was a purpose for polygamy. I'm active
LDS and I know the prophet Joseph Smith followed God's commandments.
Emma | 6:01 a.m. Nov. 1, 2007
Abish,
You clearly don't "get" polygamy. For the most part, you REMAIN a single parent, you only get to CALL yourself married. Other women live in different houses, they aren't there to HELP you. They may even resent that you have further divided their time from the husband. They also tend to undermine you and other wives to get the man to stay with them instead of visiting you. Imagine having a child with a birthday that happens to run on one of his anniversaries, sorry but anniversary trumps birthday of a child. You are left to explain why daddy is with his other wife instead of with the child on his/her birthday. If a man has multiple wives he also isn't there to help you for the most part, at best you wait your turn if you are a favored wife that he even visits. So not only are you alone and single, but with progressively more children left in your care because he managed to "honor" you when you were having a fertile day. As for me, I would rather be single with friends of my own choosing to help raise my children.
You clearly don't "get" polygamy. For the most part, you REMAIN a single parent, you only get to CALL yourself married. Other women live in different houses, they aren't there to HELP you. They may even resent that you have further divided their time from the husband. They also tend to undermine you and other wives to get the man to stay with them instead of visiting you. Imagine having a child with a birthday that happens to run on one of his anniversaries, sorry but anniversary trumps birthday of a child. You are left to explain why daddy is with his other wife instead of with the child on his/her birthday. If a man has multiple wives he also isn't there to help you for the most part, at best you wait your turn if you are a favored wife that he even visits. So not only are you alone and single, but with progressively more children left in your care because he managed to "honor" you when you were having a fertile day. As for me, I would rather be single with friends of my own choosing to help raise my children.
Anonymous | 9:24 a.m. Nov. 1, 2007
I'll help you "understand polygamy" Katie. I'll do it with
only 4 words:
Boys will be boys.
Boys will be boys.
To Katie | 9:33 a.m. Nov. 1, 2007
Thanks for your comments. I too, used to be like you until I learned that
everyone is fallible. Just because some teachings in an organization are
precious to you doesn't mean that you have to accept all. Polygamy/plural
marriage was and is a mistake. It's as plain as the nose on anyone's
face. We need to stop making excuses for it because it was taught by some
people we like in other ways.
We need to think "outside the box" of anything that doesn't make sense to us. Sometimes, what looks like a chicken, clucks like a chicken and walks like a chicken really is a chicken.
We need to think "outside the box" of anything that doesn't make sense to us. Sometimes, what looks like a chicken, clucks like a chicken and walks like a chicken really is a chicken.
Anonymous | 11:07 a.m. Nov. 1, 2007
To every Mormon who calls Polygamy a mistake:
Tell me do you sustain that Joseph was a Prophet of God? If so then I think that you need to rethink your position on polygamy being a "mistake" because here you are saying that Joseph who can't lead the church astray, or God would have taken him from the Earth,has led the church astray weird isn't it.
Tell me do you sustain that Joseph was a Prophet of God? If so then I think that you need to rethink your position on polygamy being a "mistake" because here you are saying that Joseph who can't lead the church astray, or God would have taken him from the Earth,has led the church astray weird isn't it.
Anonymous | 11:17 a.m. Nov. 1, 2007
Just don't buy into the infallibility too much, Katie. There are many who
are geniuses in clipping your wings suggesting that you must need the
following:
Thou Shalt
Thou Shalt
Thou Shalt
We are far better people than some would have us believe - and the Fall of Man manipulation begins from there.
Thou Shalt
Thou Shalt
Thou Shalt
We are far better people than some would have us believe - and the Fall of Man manipulation begins from there.
King Solomon | 11:31 a.m. Nov. 1, 2007
Why don't we all take a look at King Solomon before we start condemning the
LDS faith about their former practice of polygamy. throughout the old testament
polygamy was practiced. The law (as stated in the D&C, and Jacob) suggests
that there are exceptions. Maybe we all should ask the Lord for his guidance?
Anonymous | 1:33 p.m. Nov. 1, 2007
Well, King, most of us were under the impression that The Old Testament that you
are quoting from gave way to the New Testament. You know ... "an eye for an
eye" gave way to "put away your swords..." that sort of thing.
Times must have been at least slightly different then now.
Times must have been at least slightly different then now.
I don't sustain | 2:01 p.m. Nov. 1, 2007
any one religious figure (an answer to the question above about sustaining
Joseph Smith). I take parts of beautiful things from all over the world in
religions, but I find them all to be fallible in some way. With this in mind, I
do not affiliate myself with any one religion and I am careful and don't
find anyone infallible.
Anonymous | 2:14 p.m. Nov. 1, 2007
Right on, "I don't sustain"!
And I always find myself putting the word "Christian" in italics, for I have yet to meet one in my life.
And I always find myself putting the word "Christian" in italics, for I have yet to meet one in my life.
Abish | 2:35 p.m. Nov. 1, 2007
Thanks for your feedback Emma. I didn't mean for you, or anyone, to get so
emotional about it. Polygamy works for some and not others. ALL marriages
aren't the same.
Anony: how sheltered you are. A christian is anyone who follows the teachings of Jesus Christ.
Anony: how sheltered you are. A christian is anyone who follows the teachings of Jesus Christ.
Polygamy doesn't work | 3:31 p.m. Nov. 1, 2007
very often. It's hurtful and can cause abuse. It's time to face this
and help all of those that want to be helped. There may be some that don't
want help and find life to be o.k. in it. This is similar to slaves not wanting
slavery to end because it was the only life they knew. Life can be good in any
situation under the right circumstances. But there are certainly ways of life
that provide more human decency than others and polygamy/plural marriage does
not promote this often.
Thanks Anonymous | 4:09 p.m. Nov. 1, 2007
I find it hard sometimes too. And I don't find Christian thinking to be
the only types of good thinking. Christianity as it refers to Jesus'
teachings can not go wrong, but often much of the "dogma" is hurtful
and not relevant.
I appreciate your honesty...this is something we could use more of on here.
I appreciate your honesty...this is something we could use more of on here.
SOUTH AFRICA | 8:35 a.m. Nov. 7, 2007
I am in a plural marriage by choice...There are so few good men around that I
had no other alternative, besides being loney and used. I do not believe that
the comments made are justified. One can only write from experience. Yes
it's hard, but what relationship isn't these days. Please do not bash
polygamy unless you have tried it...What's a girl to do if she cannot find
a good, descent man to love, commit and take care of her financially...Should I
have become promiscuous, depressed and lonely?
Aja Burke | 8:30 p.m. Nov. 25, 2007
I know what an inspiration Dorothy is, and to have an opportunity to learn from
this amazing woman, has been a blessing.
I aspire to be as eloquent as she is, and to transform lives as she has, and continues to do.
I don't know much about pologamy, or it foundational principles, but I do know that I was given a better insight into this beautiful womans life.
Thanks Dorothy.
I aspire to be as eloquent as she is, and to transform lives as she has, and continues to do.
I don't know much about pologamy, or it foundational principles, but I do know that I was given a better insight into this beautiful womans life.
Thanks Dorothy.
hiding from my relatives/church | 10:25 p.m. Dec. 17, 2007
I was raised in Davis County. Trust me, polygamy is practiced today by Mormon
Bishops. My mother and cousin were secretly married to the Bishop of our
church. This Bishop sexually abused me and all my sisters and many of the
children in our community. This was the 1960's and 70's. Mormons are
liars, corrupt and basically sexually depraved. My Mormon parents prostituted
me out to members of the community. MAY THE MORMONS BECOME CONSCIOUS OF WHAT
THEY ARE DOING TO CHILDREN!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hmmm... | 7:53 a.m. March 29, 2008
Polygamy
So what about it? Well I have a friend who has strayed from the flock by deciding to practice it. He is under the mistaken belief that the church took a wrong turn in the past. As a result he feels that we should be practicing plural marriage. I ran into him one day at Costco and he told me that he finally made the leap. He found a woman with an 11yr old (give or take a year) child and he married her in addition to his current wife of 15+ years and five children. Needless to say his attempt at polygamy lasted about 6 months. It did not work out for whatever reasons. He said he was not righteous enough. I said according to the divorce rate we have enough trouble handling one wife, what makes you think we can handle two? He was excommunicated and is now also divorced from his original family. This person has a Harvard MBA and was considered gifted on his understanding of the financial world and how it worked. That coupled with conspiracy theories and the like have left him with nothing... A heavy price to pay!
So what about it? Well I have a friend who has strayed from the flock by deciding to practice it. He is under the mistaken belief that the church took a wrong turn in the past. As a result he feels that we should be practicing plural marriage. I ran into him one day at Costco and he told me that he finally made the leap. He found a woman with an 11yr old (give or take a year) child and he married her in addition to his current wife of 15+ years and five children. Needless to say his attempt at polygamy lasted about 6 months. It did not work out for whatever reasons. He said he was not righteous enough. I said according to the divorce rate we have enough trouble handling one wife, what makes you think we can handle two? He was excommunicated and is now also divorced from his original family. This person has a Harvard MBA and was considered gifted on his understanding of the financial world and how it worked. That coupled with conspiracy theories and the like have left him with nothing... A heavy price to pay!
Jim | 4:30 p.m. Feb. 22, 2009
I dont want to get into straining at gnats about the polygamy thing, but it
would be nice if you would get your history straight. Emma Smith compiled the
first LDS hymnal and was commanded to do so by the Lord. (see the article by or
about Solomon. Enjoy.
Kathy | 7:03 p.m. Feb. 22, 2009
All this comment is one sided. Polygamy is remembered in my father's
family badly because, when the Mormons came through the area -- and they did,
they kept moving -- they took all two maiden Aunts with them! Useful women,
loved, babysitters and very needed people. But they were'nt cherished
wives. One returned. The other -- who knows?? You have a really, really, bad
reputation in families like hours. And that was... what? Three generations
before my father? I was warned against you.
Utahliving | 3:41 p.m. June 4, 2009
I am not mormon, but I lived in Utah for many, many years and had friends that
were LDS, as well as friends that were practicing polygamy. My first daughter
was practically raised by a polygamist wife while I worked and she was a
dependable and caring child care professional. This argument seems to be a
pretty passionate one among the LDS, but for those of us outside the religion,
we just find it a curious way to live...not sinful, not wrong, just different.
What has always bothered me the most about polygamy as a lifestyle is the lack
of freedom for the women and children....regardless of the reasons behind it.
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