Comments about ‘Pornography trap: Multiple churches hope to help addicts beat this toxic shame’

The best way to beat this is to stop supressing the natural sexuality of people by outdated religious dogmas. When people don't feel guilty for being sexual beings, then it becomes a non-issue for them and the "addictive" dimension disappears.

This is a very good article, but your headline does not match the story. I enjoyed reading this but expected something that told what these multiple churches are doing.

Anonymous, I don't think so.

The dirty little secret is that many wives are happy to ignore their husband's porn behavior if that will allow them one less time they have to use their "headache" line.

Anonymous:
The idea of supressing the natural sexuality of people is not outdated.
We have to supress natural human urges on a daily basis to exist in a civilized society. Do you eat yourself into oblivion because food tastes good? Do you act on the urge to harm your neighbor because he ticks you off? Do you beat your kids because they talk back to you? This is not "supressing natural human tendency", it is called self-control. We can't always act on our natural human tendency or that would lower us to the majority of the animal kingdom.
To tired of this point:
My husband has struggled with porn for 9 years...I have not supported it "because I have a headache". That is extremely offensive to me! We have worked together to try to overcome this addiction and it has nothing to do with my willingness to have sex with my husband. I feel very sorry for you having this attitude, and even more sorry for your wife (if you have one).

This is an addiction that affects religious and non-religious families alike. It has very little to do with sex...it has everything to do with trust and honesty.

To Penelope | 9:48 a.m.

"I don't think so." Is that the best you can do? Why don't you think so? My brother, who is a clinical psychologist and therapist, specializes in the treatment of "sex addiction." His research and practice confirms that the guilt associated with porn consumption is a major factor in the disorder. In order to treat his patients, he has to get them to change some of their cognitions about the morality of viewing porn, masturbation, etc. Then he is able to work with them to develop a healthy sexuality that fits within their belief system. I think there is something to this because my brother is very successful in his practice.

Just saw this and wow! I am glad to know that I am NOT by far the only one dealing with this struggle!
Great article!

To so sad | 2:00 p.m.
You shouldn't be offended. You should be getting help for your own repressed sexuality. I would guess that is WHY your husband needs something extra - because you probably have overly prudish beliefs about sexuality. That is exactly the point. Millions of years of evlutionary instinct has created males in such a way that they are visually stimulated. Trying to clamp that down with "self-control" and puritan restrictions creates real internal psychological problems. You both need help from a good therapist, not one with the same hangups as yourselves.

It appalls me to see that there are people who think the same way 'Anonymous' does. It has been proven conclusively that pornography is not good for any relationship and by simply doing away with the 'guilt' that is associated with it won't change the plague-like effects and erosion it causes in many lives. Our conscious is the way we has a society determines what is right and wrong. Thank goodness we don't have to rely on the government's or psychologist's definitions of right and wrong, no matter how successful they seem to be. Wouldn't it be convenient to just simply say, 'because I don't want to fill guilty anymore for doing this bad thing, I'm just simply going to ignore my conscious and consider my feelings of remorse old-fashioned'. Why is it so hard for us to say no, to discipline ourselves to live more wholesome lives. I guarantee we as a people will be much happier if we believe we can be free of this filth. We are very much capable of keeping ourselves morally clean no matter what nay-sayers may say. Is there anyone else out there that feels the same way I do?

issues where the addiction has little to do with the appearance. Many smokers, alcholics and habitual gamblers wish to quit. I also believe that many of those viewing pornography wish the same.
It's an addiction that has little to do with the condition of a marriage. They may have gotten started from "sexual repression", but I don't think it continues this way.
I also believe it can lead to sexual abuse and in rare cases, murder.
Pornography needs to be sometimes viewed as an addiction and other times just as a tendancy that needs to be checked.
I don't think there are many people that are "proud" that they view pornography and that is a good sign that there could be problems.

So replace an addition: Pron with another addiction:Religion. The problem of addiction is not the method of addiction, rather someone's inability to COPE with life. Humans are naturally addictive creatures. Some addictions, like religion, have become "accepted" in our society. Meanwhile, these same religions tell us that it is ok to kill someone as long it is in war, for example. In other words, we make religion excuse our behavior.

I suggest everyone get any book from Dr. Stanton Peele to become more "edumacated".

to Anonymous-

Something that hasn't been mentioned is that porn doesn't just effect a marriage or the person viewing it. Children who view their father looking at porn in the middle of the day because he is so addicted he can't stop shouldn't be played off as nothing because he just has a healthy sexual appetite or he is giving into his natural tendencies. Pornography has destroyed my entire family. It has caused a loss of respect, a loss of trust, and pain on our mother and all of us. It is an ADDICTION. Just like drugs or alcohol, suddenly your family becomes less important than the porn. Taking all your theories about people just being prude or suppressing natural tendencies into consideration, they make no sense whatsoever when you have lived through the nightmare. Its a readjustment of your priorities. It makes me wonder if you are looking for justification and validation for your own behavior. The truth is hard to hear. All I can say is that if you haven't had to deal with an addict in your own family, than you really have no ground to stand on.

I appreciate your sharing your story. Often in the SDA church, sexual addictions are not discussed in the open. I am glad to see the moving of the Holy Spirit.

To Self Centered | 9:03 p.m.

I have had to deal with an addict - a REAL addict, to hard-core heroine and meth. There is no way in the universe you can compare that kind of addiction with sex addiction, and there is no way you can claim that all viewing of porn is "addiction". Often, hyper-judgmental spouses (like yourself) are so disgusted by their husbands' appreciating the beauty of the female body that they overreact and "lose respect" and turn against their husbands. This tears the marriage apart far more than any so-called "addiction". Get off your high-horse and deal with the fact that human beings are sexual beings.

Porn makes men less able to respond to normal sexual intimacy. Porn using men are more likely to see women as a commodity that can be replaced (and/ or discarded). Porn promotes the idea that all women want to be abused sexually and if they say, "no" they are teasing or being a b____. Studies have shown that men who regularly use porn are less sympathetic and helpful to women that they perceive to be in distress.

Have fun justifying your use of it.

ONLY GOD CAN HEAL ADDICTION. THAT IS WHY THIS PASTOR GOT HELP. JESUS SAYS: "COME UNTO ME ALL YOU THAT LABOR AND ARE HEAVY LADEND AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST. TAKE MY YOUE UPON YOU AND LEARN OF ME FOR I AM MEEK AND LOWLY OF HEART AND I WILL GIVE YOU REST."
THIS INCLUDES GIVING YOU REST FROM YOUR ADDICTION. HOW DID THIS PASTOR GET HIS RELIEF. HE GOT IT FROM GOD THROUGH HIS SERVANTS IN THIS WORLD.

Are there any success stories about couples getting the help that's needed to get their porn addicted spouse off the porn wagon. I want to know because my husband has an issue with porn, we have really good sex most of the time and it saddens me to know that there are times he'd rather be with his porn than with me. I just don't understand that. When he's alone or I'm in bed sleep he will spend hours just watching that junk on the computer. After he's finished he clears the history on the computer so I'm unaware of where he has visited. After a while it becomes sick and disgusting and I even have suggested that he needs serious help and of course he denies it. Help, I really would like some sound advise on this issue not someone ranting about being sexual beings and so on. Please keep religion out of it.