Comments about ‘LDS women warned about effect of media’

After the broadcast tonight, I felt prompted to go to a particular store to see a friend I hadn't seen in months. She was just leaving the store I was going to and I asked how she was. She said, "I am doing ok, considering my son died 2 weeks ago." All I could do was hug and listen to her and she felt better after we talked. It is essential that we heed the promptings of the spirit so that we can be instruments in Heavenly Father's hands for good in the world and to provide "relief" to those that are need of comfort where ever they are in life.

Now I could be wrong here so neighbour loving LDS people get ready to attack me. Doesnt Utah, and the LDS Church membership have one of the higest rates of depression in women in America? Doesnt Utah , and the LDS Church membership have one of the highest youth suicide rates in the world??? doesnt Utah and the LDS Church membership have the highest bankruptcy rates?? And doesnt this come from trying to live the standards set by the Church?? If that is the case then I suggest that perhaps a little bit more of the 'media' should come into our homes so that that all can see how normal people live and survive. If you would believe Church publications you would think that all of Suzzies problems can be solved by having a cookie with milk and singing hymns.

Why is it the Church's point of view that we, as women, are never doing enough? It isn't enough that we raise righteous children, send them on missions, teach them to be educated,serve the Church and the community. Why? We are doing enough, we are good enough and I wish the Church would recognize that this negativity is killing us spiritually and driving the young adults away.

How true are the words these choice women and men spoke. I have seen first hand what Satan can do to families when he sets out to destroy them. I have watched as my own family has been torn apart by divorce. Sometimes I have been overwhelmed by the sadness and despair. Only by holding fast to the iron rod have I been able to come through the hard times and each day I have to be more diligent than ever. I have watched as my grandchildren are left alone more and more even tho I have tried to help. Thank goodness for good home teachers and visiting teachers - please do your job.

The news is quite possibly the most damaging bit of media your children are exposed to.Children who hear the tragedys and crimes on a daily basis are many times more likely to believe their own lives are in imenent danger. As for compassionate service? Do women use the distorted one sided facts they may glean from watching the news to lift one another up and offer support to the parents and family of a member in trouble? Or do they take the tragedy and cause more pain and suffering to an already wounded family by shunning them with malicious gossip? The daily news does as much damage, if not more to our society, because of the way humans, including church members respond, than an obvious fictitious and fantasy 'Desperate Housewives' or 'Dancing With The Stars"; if you want to examine the ripple effect upon what true charity ought to be. The daily news is , with very few exceptions, a very damaging and hurtful media to expose your children to, unless you can use it to show and teach empathy for ALL of the victims involved. Think...Did Christ pick and choose to whom he blessed with mercy?

To Weary, I'm sorry that you felt anything negative from last night's women's conference. To me it was filled with encouragement and confidence in the ability of LDS women to make a difference in our families and the world around us. I truly believe that the counsel given was inspired by the Lord and we will be happier if we try to follow it. I know there are many things I need to improve on and it can be overwhelming to think about, but we don't have to be perfect at everything all at once. Sounds like you need agood visiting teacher to lift your spirits!

Why can't critics understand that it is the proper role of men to read and then tell women what to think?

(Let's see if the former FreeRepublic.com moderator now censoring comments for DeseretNews.com decides whether this falls within the guidelines of righteousness. ;-)

While the words spoken in the Women's Conference were true, I am concerned with the lack of sensitivity towards women who have not had the opportunity to "be married and have children." Perhaps the new Relief Society presidency might consider being a bit more sensitive to the feelings of the huge number of single women in the Church who can be integral contributors to families, despite the lack of marrige and motherhood in their own lives. Their needs and contributions should be
given equal emphasis in these conferences, particularly since their numbers are rapidly increasing in church membership.

First of all, the Church doesn't set the standards, the Lord does. Secondly, we are only expected to do the best we can, whatever that "best" is. As we learn and grow, our "best" increases, along with our accountability. The Lord understands the difficulties of mortality and is very aware of our capabilities all during our time on earth. We were reminded several times last night that He is there to help.

I think that the church is just saying again what it has said before. People themselves put the pressure on themselves to be perfect not thee church. I am single and I don't live in Utah, but I do know that this advice is for our own good and the good of the family and individuals. Why do people put all of the blame on the church and not on individuals. The church advises and speaks on the issues they feel important. They do not say this is the what you have to do. If you listen with the spirit you would understand it. Everybody has there agency. The church has never said women weren't doing enough they just expect everybody to live the gospel to there fullest potental. I have never felt like the church was putting pressure on me to do anything. They are always saying how much they recognize that we do as women in the church. Just stop reading things that aren't there and just do the best that you can. We all have our own challenges in life. I feel for you if you feel like that, because I once did also.

Weary: Stop progressing and improving yourself.

Alan: Utah's statistic was never compared to LDS Church (like you made it out to be). However, a BYU study found that those Utah's statistic did not consist a lot of LDS.

Thank you!

I love the RS Sisters, LDS or not.

I watched the broadcast last night along with hundreds of sisters from my ward and stake who gathered together yesterday in friendship and fellowship. I LOVED it! Sometimes in our effort to do good, we get discouraged because of all the negative things around us. The messages by the speakers last night were not messages of "you're not doing enough," but messages of encouragement to continue doing all the good that we are doing. They were a reminder to continue in the things that help us stay strong (like reading scriptures, saying prayers, and serving our families and each other). They were messages of motivation to listen to the promptings and reach out in love to others in our community. They were a cautions to avoid things that don't lift, inspire, and encourage us.

No one is perfect, and everyone needs to be reminded of the basic things that will help us stay close to our Heavenly Father. Statements that do this are not criticism, but loving counsel.

It is a misconception that women in Utah and in the church have a higher rate of depression than elsewhere in the country. Multiple studies and newspaper articles have cleared up this mistake. And while Utah did have a higher rate of bankruptcy than other states in the nation, the number has dropped, AND studies showed that, in some cases, the number of church members filing bankruptcy was actually slightly lower than the number of non-church members who filed bankruptcy.

Another newspaper article I read on this also gave a possible reason for the high number of bankruptcies. There are two types (Chapter 9 and Chapter 13), one allows you to remove your debt without having to pay it back, and the other provides you an opportunity to pay back your debtors. The author of the article stated that studies indicate that more people in Utah opted first for the "pay back" program only to discover that they weren't able to pay it back, so they filed a second time for the other option. Thus, one families financial difficulties would show up as two bankruptcy filings in statistical data.

Amen, I totally agree with what has been said at the conference. A woman will find the most happiness if she turns her live over to her children. That is living in her true female energy. I think the media has a great impact on messing up the defined roles of men and women. Turn off the TV, turn off the Internet more often, really helps to not have that constant influence in the home.
Women are depressed in Utah because they want to be more than a mom, they want to be everything to everybody instead of getting back to the basics. The church leaders aren't asking for anything but for women to get back to the basics. Family! That's were it all is.

Alan - Your questions remind me of the usual double standard many LDS critics argue. On the one hand, they point out how more and more non-LDS people are moving to Utah, thereby taking away more of the LDS Church's influence in the Beehive State. But on the other hand, whenever negative statistics come out about Utah's rate of suicide, anti-depressant use and bankruptcy rate, critics automatically claim it is LDS Church members, and only LDS Church members, that are to blame for these problems.

I can't help but wonder if your questions fall under this double standard, Alan? Why is it that whenever Latter-day Saints have troubles or problems to deal with, it is the fault of their religious faith? But, when "normal people" have troubles or problems, we never hear about their religion.

Double standard arguments do nothing to convince me that being LDS is a terrible idea. They only reinforce the idea that being LDS is a good thing. A very good thing.

Although the message may work for some, this is a very damaging message to women. I have witnessed first hand the destructive power of telling women what makes them happy. The message my wife felt was that I must not be doing everything the Lord wants me to do or I must be sinning in some way. Now the church continues to add to the list of expectations and delusions for perfection and happiness. We recognize that people have diversity of interest, talents, and abilities we teach that children can become anything they want to, but for women you have to be mothers and wives. And, when you live up to your calling, you will be happy.

I disagree Alan. Because of the things the Church teaches doesn't mean it contributes to suicide, depression, or bankrupcy. The high standards they teach come solely from the Bible and Book of Mormon.
If one does not take heed to good tidings and sincerely believes in Christ, then he/she is weak and will yield to temptation. Confusion does not come from God's work but from Men and the devil.
There is a war out there, a war between good and evil. Not just physically, but spiritually. It's a war on principalities(sp?) Those who choose to join Christ's side will keep his commandments sincerely and with full purpose of heart. Keeping the Lord's commandments knowing what is right and what is wrong will carry a good spirit needed to help fight the war of Good and Evil. If one does not follow Christ's teachings, then he/she grows weaker in spiritual strength and is vulnerable to yield to temptation because of their spiritual weakness. There are many things in the media that is definatley not Christ-like. Too allow things that arent of Christ in a good family home is not a good idea.

Reed, I think you're wrong. Doesn't your comment contain a lot of questions presented as fact? Don't you leave out all supporting evidence and propagate hearsay? Here is the fact of the matter. No one is forced to be Mormon. No one is forced to do anything they don't want to do. There is a strong social fabric in Utah that may magnify certain social ills, but that same fabric magnifies many social goods (giving, volunteering, learning, etc.) If you look at the transcripts, the Church has real solutions to everyday dilemmas that rarely involve hymns and cookies (but often includes their higher motivations of meditation and taking care of ones self). As a final thought, I would suggest to you the reading of studies that involve church members in the context of larger population diversity and then moving out of Utah.
Weary... I'm a young adult and don't feel like I'm being driven away by "negativity". I hope you find rest.

As a former Utahan and LDS woman living out-of-state, I totally spaced the meeting last night held at my stake center. I am so glad to be able to read the article in the Des News and the forum comments to see what I missed. Thanks to all of you! I've always been a stay at home mom to my five children, but now as they are leaving the nest, I find myself wondering if there is more I should be doing. The thinking of others thing is something I need to be reminded of - it is very easy to become too self-absorbed. Thanks for the gentle reminder!

I read this article, and thought that all the advice given to the sisters, could just as easily apply to the brothers. You don't have to be a woman to keep your ears pricked up and pay attention to the goings-on of the world around you, nor do you have to be a woman to find little ways to make a difference in peoples lives.

I think the point is that all of us LDS could afford to be more compassionate to each other and those outside the church, less judgmental of each other and those outside the church, and possessing a want to do the "little things" that can often make a huge difference in someone else's life, etc, etc.

Consider the fast offering. Over a year ago my wife and I learned that one of our friends we loved dearly was in financial trouble; so much so she was having a hard time coming up with money for food. We promptly diverted our fast offerings to her, even though she was not LDS, and even though it was not a lot of money, it made all the difference in her life.

Such acts can have tremendous consequences.