I guess its a good thing Reid didn't take the BYU head coaching job! The BYU and Church administration could not possibly tolerate a scandal such as this!

Drugs don't know any religion, race, sex, country, rich or poor. being famous does have negatives as everything your children do, hits the news. Remember that old saying: but for the grace of god, go I.

This shows the sometimes insufferable sacrifices coaching can bring to a family with a head coach at the college or pro level having to spend so much time away from his family! LDS or not, a coach needs a partcularly selfless and dedicated full time mother for a wife! It shows in a glaring way how signficant a father's role is in his children's lives!

Way to take a cheap shot at the expense of a family tragedy. I'd encourage you to get some counseling.

This shows in a glaring way -- that once drugs come into a person's life -- the drugs are in control all the way. The person is no longer able to make reasonable decisions -- the ache for the drug makes all the decisions for you. I hope these boys get the treatment they need to get this horrible monkey off their back and gain control of their actions/decisions once again.

It's sad that world has to endure such bigots as Anonymous | 8:16

A drug addict at least has an excuse for his actions. For bigots, there is no excuse, just pity that they're so clueless.

David, it doesn’t show anything of the sort. There are numerous examples of loving, engaged two parent families where the children made poor choices and there are numerous examples of single parent families with children who make great choices. The only way to assure obedience is to remove agency.

Any parent who decides that “no child of mine will … “ (fill in the blank) may be able to rule with an iron fist or emotional hammer but will do so with great damage to both family and individual. We are seeing an extreme example of that playing out in Austria right now with the father, Josef Fritzl. Of his daughter whom he kept imprisoned in his basement for 24 years he said that she started to "break all the rules" as a teenager by going to bars, smoking and running away. He said, "I needed to take precautions, I needed to create a place in which I could at some point keep her away from the outside world, by force if necessary."

Andy Reid didn’t force his children to choose the right. He can’t. You can’t. God won’t. It’s all about agency.

At least he wasn't trying to smuggle in coffee or Red Bull.

There's a lot of good compassion and a lot of wisdom in these comments, when you get past Anonymous's ill-considered first post.

This family's situation is just tragic. My heart and prayers go out to them.

My child was raised in a good family--with two caring parents. Our children were taught not to drink and take drugs...BUT THIS CHILD CHOSE to start taking drugs in high school--started with beer and pot graduated to coke. Fifteen years later...thank heavens for a wonderful treatment center and AA...my child has been clean and sober for over a year now.

This is a particularly tricky and sensitive subject. Two truths come out. First, children have agency and will, sometimes, make wrong choices despite parents doing all they can to teach and guide. Second, parents are encouraged by the LDS Church, some psychologists, and others to spend time with their children to teach and guide. I wonder if anyone out there knows of any statistics measuring the "success" of children with parents who spend a great deal of time out of the home during evenings and weekends versus those who are in the home more. Sometimes jobs take us out of the home frequently. Sometimes it is Church callings. Sometimes it is personal choice. Is there a difference in effect on children?

I totally agree with "have you walked in their shoes." an excellent post. Drugs and other deviant behavior really do not know any type of religion, social situation, or even parental behavior. True, there are things you can do to lower the chances of these things, but at the end of the day everybody makes their own decisions.

Another point to be made is that there is never a time where one is justified in passing judgement on another person. And to pass judgement on the type of person that these Reid's boys are or on the type of parents that Andy and his wife are, is just wrong.

The quote, "There, but for the grace of God, go I" was mentioned earlier and is a great principle to remember.

I would hope that all people, but especially people in the LDS / BYU community, would be compassionate, understanding, and charitable and pray for the Reid family.

My brother returned from his mission in November. Two months later he died of a drug overdose. It's not something that just happened when he got home. It had been going on for a long time. We're a good family. Sad thing is that none of us knew about it until it was too late.
I think we sometimes close our eyes to the telltale signs. I just hate to hear people say "oh, my kid would NEVER do drugs". We need to open our eyes wide and reach out for those who, for whatever what reason, choose to use drugs. Read the articles about the sting at SDSU in San Diego. Pretty sad commentary on our society.

I am 63 years old and never have had a drop of alcohol in my life. Never an illegal drug, never have I abused prescriptive medication. I have just tried to handle the stresses of life with self-talk and reliance on my religious convictions.

My wife and I could never have children. We adopted a little boy from an abused situation when he was three years old.

He is now twenty-seven. We have not seen or heard from him since before christmas past. He has been in and out of jail. Had two probations revoked. Abuses both prescriptive and illegal drugs.

We took him to church, always had family home evening, family prayer, read the scriptures, and always tried to have an atmosphere of peace and love in our home.

Took him to a psychiatrist, three psychologists, an LPC, and of course, several school counselors. Also many priesthood blessings. Nothing has worked thus far.

Please don't point fingers and render judgement at the Reid family or anyone else in the same boat.

As several of you have said, it is "Agency" and it will be so. I pray you critics do not have to suffer.

Dealing drugs is just stupid - period. There is no excuse and let's stop making them. Reid's kids have made stupid choices and have not only hurt them selves for the rest of their lives but have also brought unbelievable grief and embarrassment to the entire family. Taking/selling illegal drugs is a felony just like armed robbery and those who do are are simply stupid!

I think it's very true that drugs can affect people of every religion, race and social state. Some bad parents have great kids and some great parents have bad kids. However, parents who are dedicated to their families and spend a lot of time with their children are significantly more likely to have good kids than those who don't. We can't downplay the importance of father and mother in the home.

"Our lives are a record of every choice we've ever made." Reid's kids have made stupid choices and they are the only ones that can take any blame for those choices. They chose to go down the path they are on and Big Bubba is not going to be a fun roommate.

REMEMBER NOW KID'S..........

ALL I CAN SAY IS - Like all gifts which cometh from above, words are sacred, and must be spoken with care, and by constraint of the Spirit (D&C 63:64). It is with this realization of the power and sanctity of words that I wish to caution us, if caution is needed, regarding how we speak to each other and how we speak of ourselves. There is a line from the Apocrypha which puts the seriousness of this issue better than I can. It reads, 'The stroke of the whip maketh marks in the flesh: but the stroke of the tongue breaketh the bones (Ecclesiasticus 28:17).

"drugs do affect people of every religion, race and social state, HUGS are better than drug's also. After all, they cause the spin-off to other BAD thing's that happen on our Planet Earth, to us and other's as well. Any question's?.

pray for them, and it's good he doesn't distance himself from his kids regardless of how bad it may reflect on him. Too many people push away kids who need help, everyone has their vices, some just are more public and frowned upon.

How sad. I was in school with Garret for a year. He really is a good guy, just got messed up with the wrong crowd. I miss him :-(

Are you suggesting the words (which you package into the category of "gifts", whatever that means) fall from the sky? I'm fairly well educated in the sciences but I'm unfamiliar with this phenomenon. Maybe you can enlighten me?

Words can certainly be dangerous. However, restraint of expression, as you are suggesting, can also be far more damaging. The result of the resentment and frustration within an individual from the inability/unwillingness to express oneself- for whatever reason but usually socially/religiously driven- will manifest in undesirable ways, as we all can see every day in society and history.

Poor decisions don't "happen" to people. Individuals need to take responsibility for their decisions regardless of how they learned, or not, how to make them properly. God has nothing to do with it.

I also find your biblical references and condescending tone offensive to educated people. I don't know to which "Spirit" you refer, but my spirit is too often frustrated by lack of expression. I find it wholly unhealthy to restrain expression. Discussion of ideas is a good things. Refining them through discussion is good. I don't care what the Bible has to say about it. But that's just me expressing myself again...

You gave your son everything and he rejected it. Your hands are innocent in respect to him. He chose the path he took. Why? Only he can say.

It was pills. I'm supposedly thinking made by a legal company that the person next door might be taking legally.

If we could legalize all medications for adults, and not make them jump through all of the hoops, they would not turn to dangerous illegal homemade drugs, then there would be no "prision industry". Then all that money could be spent on education and roads, rather than on a 2 year incarceration followed by outpatient therapy where people go to talk about drugs, begin reusing, and back in the "prision industry".

Isn't it about time we allow adults to make their own decisions, and let them keep their jobs and pay taxes and then the judicial system could focus on people that harm society?

"Isn't it about time we allow adults to make their own decisions, and let them keep their jobs and pay taxes and then the judicial system could focus on people that harm society?"

You mean, like drug dealers? Or even just drug users?

The idea that people who use drugs are just hurting themselves is false. Nothing could be further from the truth. I have seen to much grief and suffering come from the use of drugs...and I'm not talking about the grief and suffering of just the user. I have a brother-in-law who was in and out of jail for a while because of drugs. I don't fear for him as much as I fear for the consequences that his children will suffer. His family (me included) have not yet seen the full consequences of his drug use. And I fear what those consequences might have been had jail time not given him a wake-up call.

I'm grateful for all Andy Reid has done for my favorite team. But if he has to step down for the good of his family, so be it. Tony Dungy of the Colts had a similar situation with his son's suicide. Both Reid and Dungy are men of strong faith. I know that will provide them comfort through this, but NFL coaches do spend a lot of time on the job.

How is this a story about BYU sports?

Yes it is heartbreaking and sad. Yes we feel bad for the Reids. Yes drugs are horribly addictive.
Yes Coach Reid has a ridiculously busy schedule. Yes parenting can be difficult. Yes the Reid men must accept responsibility.

However, from a parenting perspective is there nothing more to learn from this story? Of course we don't know all the details of what went on in the Reid home, but some information was disclosed. Anyone posessing the least amount of logic knows there are things Mr. and Mrs. Reid could have done better.

Does anyone really believe that parents are just victims and raising kids is like rolling dice? Do we really believe that parents can't learn through EDUCATION how to be more involved, proactive and better able to teach ACCOUNTABILITY and RESPONSIBILITY? Yes, there are no guarantees and if we do everything right there will be kids who fail. But why is that what we focus on? Why are we so defensive as parents. Why can't we realize that recognition of our deficiencies is not a "no-no" and may actually serve to educate and help other parents? As a public figure who teaches accountability, coach Reid could show some.

To Poor Decision and anyone else with similar sentiments, why is it that someone always looks at a story, sees someone getting punished for drug use/abuse, and then argues that we should legalize the behavior so people will stop doing it? That is the most unsound logic of which man is capable. The same arguments are made for legalizing prostitution, that if it were legal it would disappear and it is a "victimless" crime. Let's see, what else should we legalize so people will stop doing it? How about selling alcohol and cigarettes to kids? I'm sure that practice would immediately stop if we legalized it, right? Bank robberies would stop if we made it legal for people to walk in and verbally demand huge quantities of cash that is not rightfully theirs, right? DUIs would cease if we made it legal for people to drive drunk, right? The logic of these legalization arguments is flawed because it is based on an assumption that people engage in activity BECAUSE it is illegal, and if the activity were legal, the appeal would wear off quickly. Unfortunately, people naturally will only do more of something when it is not shamed by society.

Drugs are a scourge. My sympathies to Reid, and to his son. His son did not concoct the drugs, someone else did. His son did not transport the drugs, someone else did. His son did not spend the money on clothing and cars, someone else did.

Lots of blame to go around.

We live near and work in Philly. Philly is like a third world country, with another murder of a police officer this week. It is a major drug trafficking city - and these boys would have been at high risk to be in an environment awash in drugs.

I am sorry but if his name was not Reid and his dad not Coach Reid would everyone feel the same? If he was just another drug addict would you be so sorry for him and the family I don't think so. A addict is an addict and should pay the price no matter who or what religion he or she is or parents. Its about time we stopped giving the rich and famous family's a slap on the wrist and turn them lose. If its good enough for them why not the rest?? Double standards are great if your on the high side.

Don't give up. Your son's life is not done yet. Been in your shoes and seen miracles. Don't give up. Keep showing love.

No one is saying that he should not do the time like any other drug addict. However, sympathies should go out to any family dealing with a drug addicted family member. Trust me, it is not easy to deal with. Your comments only reveal a level of ignorance on your part.

Drugs are a major part of american life, it is part of our captilist economy and free enterprise, it is big money and it gets bigger every year, it needs to be legalized, managed and taxed. People turn to drugs because america is basically an unhappy society with too many false religions and corrupt big business and greedy rich.

To the two of you who responded with encouragement, thank you. Rich or poor, high visibility or just an average everyday person, all who have a loved one fall into the clutches of drug/alcohol abuse feel the same pain. If you are blessed to have never had the experience, then thank Heaven you are so blessed. It is a pain you do not want. Withhold judgement, reach out with unconditional love, and you will help that struggling person and their family.

My son does not want help at this time. WE will continue to love him and never NEVER give up. You with family and friends caught in the cycle of addiction, please do the same. I recommend Alenon and AA/NA for support and understanding.

So much pity. Isn't it ennough? Everyone writes about the sadness and the pity. Fine...but can't we discuss a few topics to address the future and help prevention.

Parents, watch out for ENABLING. Watch out for the seductiveness of letting children enjoy the "ease on down the road lifestyle." Stay on your toes. If your adult children are living off you consider what your doing to them. The judge called the Reid home a "emporium." Oh what a mean, mean judge. So little pity. The Reid parents were so out of touch. If you give them cars, your home to live in, money, and you require no accountability you have some issues.

Think proactive. Think you could have done better. Make a statement about what you could have done better to help future parents. You are not just victims. Showing humility does not make you parent scum and does not remove all blame from the children.

Why are parents of drug addicts so defensive? Why do they immediately focus on "this person has never walked in our shoes?" Noone is perfect. There are always things we could have done better to help a situation. Show humility and help future parents.

It's true. There is more parents of addicts can do than say "until you've walked in our shoes." I'm sure there some almost perfect parents of addicts. But there are also enabling parents like the Reids and the Osmonds. Parents of addicts are more helpful to society when they share things they could have done better than when they just say "until you've walked in my shoes."

I'm full of addictions, and I have nobody to blame but myself. My parents were wonderful. They're not LDS, but they raised me right. I joined the church as a young man, hoping it would help straighten me out. It has helped in many ways, but I still battle my demons. I certainly don't appreciate Anonymous's judgeMENTAL tone about everything about the church. We're all just doing the best we can. May the Lord bless the Reid family.

Yes, bring the LDS church and BYU into this tragic story even if they are not relevant. But don't wonder why LDS people turn off outside, really dumb comments such as yours.

Again, another great example set by BYU people.