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LDS Church News viewpoint: 'If ye are not one'
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That IS the problem. We don't think we need the spirit because the apparent need for the spirit doesn't always appear justify the repentance process and effort.
But that is when we MOST need the spirit! Just as in the times when we don't feel like praying, we need to pray until we are accepting and obedient of our duties.
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The most undertused principle in marriage is that of repentance. Without repentance there can be no restoration of harmony.
It does not matter who initiates the harsh words, for laying blame has no place in harmonious matrimony, but to seek forgiveness even when the harsh words were not yours is to invite divine mercy, harmony, and the Spirit of peace, reconciliation and atonement.