Deseret News | Reader comments: Moms: Is it easier being a single mom? Many married moms think so

Reader comments
Easier being a single mom?

Why even have a child? | 1:17 p.m. July 4, 2009

"I like that no one complains when I leave my sweaty workout clothes on the bathroom floor overnight, or that no one cares when I decide that it's going to be cereal for dinner (again). Some might call that a lack of accountability on my part – but hey, don't we all do better work when someone isn't looking over our shoulder?"

The author would rather have her kid grow up without a father than actually have to clean up after herself and feed her kid a healthy dinner?

If the goal is to do as little as possible, take as little responsibility as possible - why have a child in the first place?

Peter Parker | 1:17 p.m. July 4, 2009

"76 percent liked the idea of not fighting with a partner over the best way to raise a child."

Yeah, instead of fighting with a partner over how to best raise your children, you just let the day care do it.

Anonymous | 1:27 p.m. July 4, 2009

Wow... let the judgement fly.

Comments continue below

Anonymous | 1:43 p.m. July 4, 2009

Easier being a single mom? - "cranking out the welfair pups, living off of the tax payers, not working and using the kid's as a pawn, to get everything for nothing, spounging off Churches, using OPM's, (other peoples money), hate men, teach yourself thought radical feminism it's ok and is the best raise your children." Just so YOU CAN leave your sweaty workout clothes on the bathroom floor overnight, or that no one cares when I decide that it's going to be cereal for dinner (again). And your goal is to do as little as possible, take as little responsibility as possible, here's a little advice, see a shrink, your nuts.

Easier because... | 2:19 p.m. July 4, 2009

It, statistically speaking, isn't getting done. Children with only one parent at home have a much harder time in life. This article is a bit selfish and short-sighted. "What is easy is seldom worthwhile..."

Exactly | 8:11 p.m. July 4, 2009

why have a child in the first place? If being a single mom is much better than being married, how about being single with no children? Think of how much more time you can have to yourself? You not only can throw ur dirty sweaty clothes on the bathroom floor but you dont even have to do laundry for your child. sweet.

Californian #1@94131 | 8:50 p.m. July 4, 2009

Single parenthood is just as misguided as same-sex-couple parenthood.

Human beings are not hermaphrodites. There's a reason why God and Nature made it necessary for two cells to form a human, and one is from a male and the other from a female.

JN | 9:01 p.m. July 4, 2009

To Anonymous 1:43 pm: Have the courage to identify yourself and own your comments. You write about taking responsibility--look at yourself first.

Wow, I'm glad none of you will be judges for me when I die.

I Couldn't Do It... | 9:20 p.m. July 4, 2009

I'm happily married with two children and I will be the first to admit I couldn't do it alone. My husband is a devoted and loyal husband, and a very involved father. I can't imagine married family life any other way. I feel sorry for single moms who don't know the joys of marriage and raising children together with your best friend: their father!

Even while our society generally pooh-poohs religion, I credit our strong religious faith for why I'm married to such a great guy, and for why we've been happy together for 22 years. I wouldn't dare take the credit for tending my marriage, it's a "we" thing all the way through and that "we" includes God.

If you married women think you'd be better off alone, you might consider a dose of unselfishness and appreciation, barring an abusive relationship, of course. Try looking for simple things your husband does every day that you can thank him for. Make it a goal to say "Thank You" at least 10 times every day and you may very well find you're married to a really great guy!

Zoneseek | 12:17 a.m. July 5, 2009

I'm with you JN. Good grief. I think kids definitely benefit from a mother and father, but you can't generalize and stereotype all single parents. I happen to know a great friend who is a single mother, and I believe she would have been thrilled to have a better spouse than be alone. What is refreshing about this article, is the fact that this author is genuine. EVERYONE has moments where they look at the pros and cons of their situation in life. Anyone who states otherwise is lying. And btw what is with the welfare comment (1:43)? Where did that come into this at all? Weird.

Wow... | 7:51 a.m. July 5, 2009

I am so surprised at the animosity here. I have been married, widowed, single mom, remarried and one more child. Raising children (there were three of them) by myself, without government assistance, was by far easier than any of the other situations. It depends entirely on who you are married to. My new husband (and he isn't new anymore) takes more energy and work than anyone should have to invest in anything. At the time, I thought it was really hard raising my kids alone. More life experiences really puts things in perspective.

I am by no means advocating for single parenthood. Just saying, it is easier sometimes. Don't get all bent out of shape about it. And if any of you single women want my husband, he's all yours.

B. T. | 11:48 a.m. July 5, 2009

From one with experience; no it's not easier being a GOOD single parent. But some of us weren't given the choice. I will admit, in many ways it's easier than being married to a man who contributes nothing to the marriage, but I'd take a good man if I could find one! I'm a good single mom because I take on the role of Mother and Father as well as I can; I DON'T have cereal for dinner, I have a good job so I'm NOT on assistance and my kids are very well behaved and reasonably well-adjusted. I cook, clean, repair, play, coach, build, camp, teach, sew, fix, drive, and a million other things for my kids. And while I know I can't ever take the place of a father, I try my best so my kids don't have a "harder time" in life. It's the lazy, irresponsible single moms out there that give us all a bad name. There are some of us out there doing a great job even though we weren't given the choice because failure is not an option. They come first. Period.

single mom, too | 2:08 p.m. July 5, 2009

I'm a single mom, too, and found myself in that situation due to an extremely selfish husband who practically abandoned us. It was easier to be a single mom without him, but it was very, very difficult.

REALITY CHECK | 1:24 p.m. July 16, 2009

OK! lets be serious here! Men, today, on average are not the easiest PARTNERS - concerning raising children. Please, understand me, I know that there are great men out there... but are they married?... or is the percentage so low that they are not worth the investment. Parenting a child, and lets be real many children, I have three, is difficult - very difficult!! I have been married twice, dated many men and some men for years, and I have watched and heard from thousands of women on this issue because I own a single mom magazine. The chance of a woman actually finding a partner, companion, teammate,etc.. to seriously raise the children in the home is a low percentage chance. I am talking about a husband or partner (male) that is helpful, shares in duties and finances equally, is faithful and loyal to the relationship, and is a grownup - he does not expect to have dinner on the table every night, sex whenever HE needs it and ooh pays his child support.
It is easier in my opinion to be a single mother...we need to teach our daughters that having children will most likely be their responsibility!

Add your comment

Comments are monitored. Any comments found to be abusive, offensive, off-topic, misrepresentative, more than 200 words or containing URLs will not be posted.

Words Remaining

E-mail address: For internal use only. We may want to contact you to publish your comment (not your e-mail address) in the newspaper or for a separate story idea.