Reader comments
Doug Robinson: Time for some rules on names

Shawn | 10:18 p.m. May 18, 2009

Funny article, Dug.

Scottwick | 10:21 p.m. May 18, 2009

I agree 100%! I've kind of a weird name researcher myself. I have to say it boils down to pure selfishness. The parents naming their children odd names and odd spellings aren't thinking of their children. They're thinking of themselves. I say this because it's obvious they didn't think for a minute as to the future of their child.

Bert | 10:44 p.m. May 18, 2009

I met a young man in California who had the actual name of LZ (short for "Landing Zone"). I am not sure what his parents had in mind, but he may have had to defend himself in school. I could never to that to a kid.

Comments continue below

John H | 11:10 p.m. May 18, 2009

Great article Doug. Couldn't agree more with your rules. I hate it when people try to get creative and give their kid a last name for a first name. Also knew a kid named Nephi. He was really weird. I blame it on the name. There's others ways to pay homage to book of mormon prophets than naming your kid after them. It's the kids that gets punished not the parents.

Skippy | 11:50 p.m. May 18, 2009

A friend of mine named her kid Rocky Mountain!

Gina | 9:26 a.m. May 19, 2009

I have an easy name to spell (at least I think so), but everywhere I go people spell it with a "J". Sometimes even with two "n"s. So, I still end up having to spell it to people. Oh, brother!

Biker100 | 10:44 a.m. May 19, 2009

And please don't give a child a first and middle name and then make the middle name the one the child goes by. That first day of school can be rough when the "unknown" name is called at roll call. Also, a first initial doesn' work well on computer forms. I'm speaking as a middle namer myself.

And, whatever you do | 11:15 a.m. May 19, 2009

. . . don't give your kid a name like Barack Hussein Obama! He'll never get elected president with a moniker like that!

Anonymous | 11:15 a.m. May 19, 2009

what ever happened to freedom .... this is america people are free to choose what ever name they wish for their child.
yes some are different and odd but who cares.

Names for kids | 11:27 a.m. May 19, 2009

Funny stuff, Doug. My mother-in-law is a nurse in St Louis. She knew of a woman whose name was Female, pronounced fuh-MAHL-ee. Apparently, the kid's parents didn't know what that box meant on their birth certificate.

Anonymous | 11:38 a.m. May 19, 2009

Are these names first or last names?
Allen
Alexander
Brooks
Clark
Craig
David
Douglas
Duncan
Felix
Gordon
Henry
Irving
James
Joyce
Kelly
Lee
Lewis
Lincoln
Marshall
Martin
Nicholas
Parker
Quentin
Richard
Ross
Russell
Scott
Simon
Stewart
Tanner
Taylor
Thomas
Tyler

What are we going to do - institute a name police squad?

Re: Anonymous | 1:03 p.m. May 19, 2009

You probably aren't familiar with Doug Robinson and his writing style. I can't remember any of his articles that didn't use sarcasm. If you're not sure what that means, just know that when you read one of his articles, you shouldn't take it seriously.

Motherbear | 1:36 p.m. May 19, 2009

Consider the names of Frank Zappa's children: Moon Unit, Dweezle, Ahmet & Diva. Poor kids. Then there's this from the 12/18/2008 Denver Post "Heath Campbell said he named his son after Adolf Hitler because he liked the name and because "no one else in the world would have that name." Adolf Hitler Campbell and "The Campbells' two other children also have unusual names: JoyceLynn Aryan Nation Campbell turns 2 in a few months, and Honszlynn Hinler Jeannie Campbell will be 1 in April." Was anyone surprised when all 3 of the Campbell children were taken from the home by the county Children's Services? Officials said they had doubts about parents who would name their child Adolf Hitler. The Campbells' say they they want people to respect their kids names which begs the question: Is a name just a name? Or do you think these parents should have their heads examined and their name choices will have a negative affect in their kids lives?

Tiffany | 2:36 p.m. May 19, 2009

No one has questioned anyone's freedom as to what you can & cannot name your child. The point is that you need to do it with the CHILD in mind & not how cool you'll look as a parent because you were so "clever" as to come up with a "unique" name and/or spelling... just like everyone else. My mother-in-law is named Clyda... like Clyde-uh... because they were going to name her Clyde, thinking she'd be a boy. Her last name is difficult as well, making it so that she has to spell everything out for everyone & she hates it. No one was thinking, "Gee, this girl would love to be named Clyda!" People are judged by their names all the time. I know that, as a manager of a business, when I'm looking at resumes in order to hire someone new, I get turned off by strange names or improperly spelled names because it makes that person look less intelligent, less capable & less professional. Bottom Line: Stop being selfish (like someone said earlier) & think about your CHILD.

Eric | 3:54 p.m. May 19, 2009

The bottom line: that cutsie baby name you really really really want sooooo bad for your cutie-patootie has to turn into a grown-up name one day.

Marianne | 3:57 p.m. May 19, 2009

This was so funny! Why do people do these things to their kids? My mom worked at a school and there was a girl there named Princess Arora. Come on! That is so unbelievably ridiculous!

My name is not common, but it's not weird. But since it isn't used much, people spell it in the weirdest ways. I've had people spell it: Maurriane. Huh? The funny thing is that almost everyone I've met who shares my name spells it like I do.

@Anon | 6:13 p.m. May 19, 2009

Yes we live in a free country. You can name your kid anything you want. Amoung our freedoms id ther freedom to be stupid.

Thomas | 7:16 p.m. May 19, 2009

And it is the child that suffers.

Crazy names | 9:14 p.m. May 19, 2009

wow, for those who feel it is okay to name a child what ever a person whats (ie @Anon and Anonymous) This is not really a call to end made up weird names. It is just a statements about how in an effort to be different we can cause a child to be embarrassed about their name. Children have enough to stress about so lets make it easy for them anyway we can. A name like Jet Force (yes a real name for a real cute boy) is a horrible way to start his schooling. Can you imagine what the child will go through in Middle/Junior high? Or Elementary school? I knew another person who's mother named her "Anglea." How do you pronounce her name? As an adult she is embarrassed that her mother couldn't spell Angela. Sometimes people just need to be reminded of how serious it is to name a child.

So lighten up people. It is all good.

Tanja | 10:26 p.m. May 19, 2009

I love the Russian spelling of my name but I always have to spell it to people and most often, pronounce it. It IS a pain and it's not even that weird. For those of you wondering, it's /tawn ya/. The first day of kindergarten, just after my mom explained how to say my name, the teacher called me /TAN juh/. I told my husband that when we have kids, our son would be Adam and I'm not sure about a girl's name, yet. BECAUSE, our last name is another that has to always be pronounced and spelled. I'm all for giving kids easier names! I've lived with this for 41 years and it does get tiring. I agree that naming a child IS serious... it's who they are--it becomes a part of them.

Loved the article! :)

What abou the kids | 2:14 p.m. May 20, 2009

Yes this is a free country, and anyone can name their kids what they want, but instead of just thinking what you want to name your kid, think of the kid, and what they would want. Most weird names are thought up for a reason, but it is usually what the parents want. When naming a kid I think it is good to chose what you like, as well as something that the child can live with.

Anonymous | 3:40 p.m. May 22, 2009

We named our son Peter and people ask all the time how it is spelled. Even with a basic Bible name people are afraid to assume anything. How unfortunate.

Earny Lohuh | 6:40 p.m. May 27, 2009

Were's the counterpoint? Is there anyone out there with an unconventional name that likes it?

Doug's rules | 8:32 a.m. June 16, 2009

Doug suggests spelling names so as they can be recognized. Good idea, but what if people can't figure this out??
I know a woman named Joan (as in Joan Sutherland- opera star, Joan Baez-folk singer, Joan Cusack-cell phone company spokesperson, Joan Fontaine-actress, Joan of Arc, famous French woman soldier etc.)

This particular Joan lives in Cache Valley, and 99.9% of the time her name is filled out on some official form (at the Doctor, the dentist, the DMV, church, the bank, the courthouse etc.) she is invariably called "JoAnn" (also know as JoAnne and Joann and Joanne.)

Its done this poor lady no good to have a regular, easily spelled, easily pronounced common name--apparently folks in Cache Valley have never heard, or read about Joan of Arc. :)

Re: Tiffany | 8:46 a.m. June 16, 2009

Your poor mother-in-law, Clyda.

Utah and Idaho are famous (well, I guess that would be infamous) for their feminizing of male names ("she was named for her father")such as LaVerl, LaDell, Ernestine, and Joelynn--and apparently Clyda.

Also the popular Utah/Idaho compulsion to combine all or part of the parent's names to invent a new name for the child: Valdean (Valorie and Dean), Valean (same), Royanne (Roy and Sue Anne).

Julie | 7:55 p.m. July 5, 2009

Thank you! We knew ChaiDee Wood's parents when she was born and have told our kids about her (very nice couple, by the way). In fact, oddly spelled names just came up tonight so I googled her name and your column pops up on the screen. Several of us, out here in New York, gathered around the computer and laughed our heads off.

Thanks!

JooLee
Jew-Leigh
Joohly
Giuli

Mike | 8:43 p.m. July 5, 2009

When my wife and I picked out a middle name for our son, we wanted to use one of his grandpas' names, but we thought my dad's name didn't fit well with his first name, and we couldn't use either my wife's dad or stepdad's name without fear of hurting the other's feelings (Earl vs. Allen) so we briefly toyed with "Earlen" but then I got the idea to slap an "M" on the front from my name to get M-Earl-len.
How did we spell it? "Merlin".
What do we call him? "Peter" (his first name).

Winter | 11:55 a.m. Nov. 18, 2009

Hilarious article! I have a pony name! I actually have enjoyed having a different name. I've never had to worry about there being 3-4 other Winters in my classes throughout school. And thankfully, my name is fairly easy to spell if I tack on "like the season" after saying my name.

On the other hand, I also have been called every season (Summer is the most common) and other random things (River, Christmas, April). I have heard every winter/season joke in the book and I'm happily surprised nowadays when someone comes up with something new.

And whether you consider this a good or bad thing, most everyone remembers me because of my name. It can be bad if you're trying to avoid getting called on in class!

Jordan | 2:20 p.m. Dec. 15, 2009

My name is Jordan, and I am a girl. Sometimes it was hard when I was younger because everyone thought I was a boy when paperwork was filled out. Here are a few examples: I played on a boy's basketball team in 3rd grade, My name was on the boy's list on the class list for Kindergarten, I got draft papers and a Gillette Rasor in the mail on my 18th birthday, and once in High School when I called here for the roll, the substitute teacher said, in a snooty tone, "Isn't that a boy's name?". I still get phone calls from people surprised that I am a woman when they ask to speak to Jordan. And I cannot count the credit card offers I have received for Mr. Jordan.

It is kind of funny, and I like having a unique name. I am now plagued with the task of naming my first child, due in a few months, and hope that whatever I come up with doesn't traumatize him. :)

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