Reader comments
High school sports: Dad, mom must make sports fun

I think that one problem, in football specifically, is starting the kids too young. I really feel as a football coach and as a physical educator that 8 years-old is way too young to start contact football. Its kind of like baseball. You start kids out playing t-ball. You're asking little boys without any hormones to go out and be aggressive.
I think that up until 7th grade that's how it should work. I think that this would keep more kids involved, as well. Then, start full contact in the middle school/jr. high (another example of Utah's educational inadequacy), rather than in parent-run little leagues. This is how it works in Wisconsin and in Texas.

I meant to have them play flag football in elementary up until they reach 7th grade.

This is great article. Unfortunately, it only scratches the surface of what I think is one of the most important topics we should be concerned with in sports today. I have always been very competitive, and striking a balance between helping my kids get better and just letting them be kids has always been a difficult line to walk. There is some great food for thought, and I hope all of us parents take some time to contemplate how sports should fit into our kids lives.

I agree that parents are the most important people in an athlete's life-but I believe a close second is coaches, teammates, and supporters. I also believe that one of the really important people in my daughter's Lindsie and Adrienne sport's careers was you-AMY. You have no idea the great influence you have on so many of these girls and their parents-especially on my daughters. You are absolutely the best!!!! Our family is so grateful to you for all the suppport you give to all the girls playing sports in Utah. Jay Nielsen

HS Football Coach: I could not agree more. I coach high school football and have seen a lot of good players choose not to play in middle school and then high school because of a bad experience in "accelerated" youth football. They did not so much have a bad experience with the game but with inadequate coaching and high expectations by parents. Flag football teaches skills that need to be learned before pads are put on. There is a reason high school, colleges and even pro football teams have pre-season camps wearing nothing but helmets.

Although it is important to have fun with sports, that is not the most important thing. When you work so hard, and it pays off and you win, it is a lot more fun, than if you had lost. Sports take time and commitment. When I ran XC I would run 8-10 miles a day for practice, up hills, sprints and in crazy weather. It takes effort and hard work that can feel like a job. It is when parents let their children give up because it has become too hard for them that causes problems. Keep your children in sports, let them work as hard as they can, and then let them feel the amazing feeling when they win, and all their hard work has paid off. We live in a society today that is so afraid of hurting people's feeling, taking away celebrations because it is "unsportsmanlike" and such. It is nonsense. Work hard, play hard, win and feel happy, or loose and work harder to win next time. That is the bottom line.

How many are forced out by the relentlessness of super-league, all-star and competition teams whose coaches and sponsors eliminate all but the precocious?

I have 2 sons that have and are playing college baseball. We always talked about the game afterwards but I also let them know if they won or lost, something they need to learn early. We also talked about what they did well and what they need to work on but always, and I mean always, they got their dinner. Parents put too much stock on winning and scholarships. Both mine got scholarships but we never put pressure on them to practice on their own. We made it fun so they were always asking when can we go and workout. When it becomes a job, the fun is gone and so is the incentive to become better. Quit living through your children. Just sit in the lounge chair and enjoy. If you have knowledge, then coach and pass it along to the kids. But keep your priorities in order!

Mike you are right in saying winning is more fun than losing. I also agree that there are alot of people that take away from teams or individuals celebrations because of political correctness. However as a XC runner what was your biggest opponent? The clock!! Winning is important but not as important as playing with dignity and striving to do ones best. Not all of us can be winners like Mike. Someone has to lose. It is ok to lose if you have done the best that you can. That is all I can expect of my athletes. Before you say that I probabyl coach at a program that doesn't have success I will say that I have been apart of coaching in 9 State Championships in the last 10 years. I understand both the thrill of winning with a team that did its best and the agony of losing. The teams that lost I will say gave it their all. They were able to walk off the court with their heads held high. The problem with sports today is that people don't accept that there is always someone better

I usually put my name on here, but I don't want to get run out of town. I am concerned about the local football team. I see the same thing as the HS coaches have mentioned: kids losing interest and getting burned out. The team here in town (3A) has a fairly new coach. He is trying to build a program, and I applaud his efforts. But, I think in a lot of ways he shoots himself in the foot. Extremely long practices night in and night out have deterred several good athletes from going out for the team. Then, requiring the team to watch film on Saturday. In my opinion, these players have no time for anything other than football, including schoolwork. They are just teenagers, and I don't think they should be expected to sacrifice everything for the team.
Don't get me wrong, they need to work hard and devote themselves to the team, but I think this situation is a bit extreme. I think he has chased some of his best prospects away.

I agree w/ HS Football Coach. There are many college/pro coaches that don't let their sons play football until they're in middle school - for many reasons. It would be interesting to poll some long time college coaches and pro coaches to find out when their sons starting playing pad football. In regards to fun - once you're in high school it becomes your job. Everyone is competing for that starting spot - it's a life lesson. If you love football and enjoy football then your movitation takes over and it is fun. That movitation carries over to the classroom - no pass, no play. Football is motivation to do well in the classroom, or you don't play. I agree w/ the article in regards to youth sports - but when you're talking high school sports and above, it's a different story.

Great article but why didn't it run on Monday in its usual spot? Almost missed it.

Amy- You hit this one head on! Kudos to Judge for instituting their program! Please push this program throughout the rest of the high schools and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE get it instituted in Little League!!! If the parent does not attend the clinic, their kid cannot play! It would be in the best interest of the kids.

There should also be a similar program required for the entire coaching staff of high schools! Too often, you see HS coaches that push single sport athletes, and dominate a kid's life. There are some GREAT HS staffs out there, but in general it would be a great mandatory program for the entire staffs. UHSAA, don't allow the head coach to skip out on it like the rules clinic... where they can assign an assistant to attend to avoid their $50 fine, and then are not on top of the new points of emphasis, rule changes at the HS level, etc.

I credit much of my success in business and in life to the lessons I learned from some great coaches and the various sports I played growing up. I both won & lost state titles. I learned much from both.

I have read two of the PCA's books (Double Goal Coach and Positive Coaching) and we have use stories and ideas with our girls. there are some great practices and we seem to be winning, hey what the heck, keep using it.

To Concerned:
I attended the seminar at Judge and it was very well done and quite an eye opener.
You may want to consider contacting the A.D. at Judge Memorial, Dan DelPorto. I'm certain he would be happy to provide you with any information you might need to help put you in contact with Mr. Thomas at PCL and help your program refocus it's priorities.
Best of luck to you and your school.

I agree that winning is more fun than losing. But, no one wins all the time. So, if you are not going to win all the time you might as well have fun playing and competing. As good a runner as I am sure you are, I am also sure there are people that can beat you no matter how hard you work. Does that mean you should quit because you lose? I would say it means you should continue competing for more than just winning, because as I said you don't win all the time and there is always someone better.

Along with the coaches, and parents the media plays a role. The titles of the high school football articles state: such and such high school team: "lashed", "whipped", "dominated"...great for the team that won...not so much for the team that lost.
I have read the comments on the recent football articles that make statements about wanting the other team to hurt or "pound" the opposing team. I have read statments about the teams in the Region 7 football stating: Provo High Players are "cowards", the coach is a "joke". The player on the Payson team have: "No Talent". Mt. View "will be luck to win." Timpview will "run over" or "pound" any other team in the state. Timpview, Timpview, Timpview....
Maybe the Media should focus on so much on rankings, recuitment, and focus more on positive aspects of the team, and the individual players.

Thank you for your input. I agree with you, not everyone can win. What I really wanted to get across was how frustrating it is that sometimes, when people or teams have lost, everyone always says it's ok, it doesn't matter. It does matter, athletes put in a lot of time and work, and it does matter to win, but as long as you know you gave it all you had and leave it on the field/court/pool/track/whatever then a loss can be ok. Last year I was watching my little brother in a wrestling tournament, and at the end of the match, even tho he had won, they raised both kids hands. How does that teach a child anything? It is saying, you can not do as well as someone else, but you will get the same result. Life doesn't work that way. But again, I say thank you to Bald Coach, I agree winning isn't everything, but it is what every athlete strives for.

My point is proven exactly with the post by Media. Whoever it is wants "positive" talk. They don't want people to feel bad. Hello, it is sports. Just like everyone has been saying, there is a winner and a loser. So if you don't want to be called cowards, or here you were pounded, or whipped or dominated, then don't! When you win, stand up and win with dignity. When you don't, then work harder so it doesn't happen again, and do it with dignity. Quit tyring not to hurt peoples feelings because of your silly politics.

It is sports, everyone understands that there are winners and losers. That is not the problem. I don't think it is about feelings. It's about sportmanship, winning with dignity is not about throwing it in the face of the losers. Name calling is not winning with dignity! You can win with dignity and lose with dignity.
Parents, coaches, and the media is obessed with WINNING! No one wins all the time. If you lose it does not MAKE you a: "whinner", "coward","without talent", or a "joke". Kids quit becasue it is not fun. High school football players expected to pratice for hours and hours, however, if they lose and put down by fans, media, parents, called names.