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MormonTimes.com: The spiritual risks of online role-playing games

I am going to admit that as an IT professional I am very familiar with this type of games. World of Warcraft and games like it can be addictive, not necessarily because of bad content but because they can waste many hours of time. I have peers who play these games for many hours on end and ignore children, spouses, jobs, parents, church, household chores, etc.

I also have peers who play sporadically and now their limits.

It is all about boundaries and priorities.

Parents need to set the boundaries way before a crisis arises. I mean we have even been taught by General Authorities about things like this.

I agree, STB, that parents need to take responsibility and maybe even show humor, i.e. warn about living in a van down by the river if all you do is play games. The online future is scary. I think WALL-E was a horror movie. Putting and reading comments on the desnews web site is also addictive.

What do you do when it's your spouse addicted to the game? I can't get my wife away from WoW for 10 minutes. She plays till 4 in the morning, is late to work, neglects me, our children, our home, her job. I have to work a lot of OT to make up for her not working. I spend all my time off taking care of the house. I attend family functions alone with my children while she's either playing or taking a power nap between raids. I have taken the game away and she just becomes irritable and childish, huffing and puffing around the house like a toddler. When I forced her to go out with me she just talked about the game and how she needs to get back cause they're all waiting for her and she spends so much time texting and talking to her friends from the game. I don't know what to do? I'd expect this behavior from a child and I can deal with that... but I can't teach my grown wife how to act like an adult... what do I do?

I am so sorry. I really am sorry. Your marriage is guaranteed to end in divorce unless something changes.

If you read the full article at MormonTimes.com, I'm misquoted on one point: "He said children should not be allowed to play online role-playing games before going on LDS missions." I didn't say this in my Education Week class, and I don't believe this.

I did say that young kids and teens (pre-mission kids) are at significant risk, and that parents should be extremely cautious. Limiting casual time on the computer is an absolute must no matter what we're talking about, and I personally feel a couple hours a day is an absolute max for online entertainment.

I also said that in *my* home I don't allow online gaming pre-mission, but we all understand that my home isn't the measure of all truth in the world or in the Church. Just a personal guideline from one father who's been around the block a bit. Your mileage may vary.

Of course not everyone struggles with addiction to online gaming, but there *are* strongly addictive aspects, especially for people with certain predispositions. It's important to recognize the risks going in, rather than stumbling into a problem area and suddenly finding yourself in too deep.

Charles Knutson

Is it a slow news day or what? This story is not news.

In response to RE:So, That is cruel to say that someones marriage is guaranteed to end in divorce. You should tell them to go talk to family counselors, or their bishop. Not to tell them divorce is guaranteed. How rude.

I have seen others who spend hours doing nothing but playing online games. And it really does take over a significant part of their lives to the exclusion of taking time with children and families.

I don't know if it's just "addictive personality" types who are like this or if any of us could become addicted. At any rate, this is a huge problem and I feel sorry for families that have to deal with this situation.

There are a lot of things kids and adults can get addicted to. I've seen sports eat away at family time. Kids are always at practice, at games, training, reading about their sport, etc. Steve Young didn't go on a mission because of sports. He played his sport on the sabbath. But that doesn't mean we should ban sports from a teen's life. All addiction is bad, and it's important for parents to teach their children that activities should be taken and done in moderation. But because some kids and adults get sucked in to an unhealthy amount, doesn't mean the thing itself is unhealthy.

The point here is MODERATION in ALL THINGS!

Online games, sports, tv, reading and all things can play an important part in the leisure and entertainment of mankind. That haviing been said excess in any of them is BAD. All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy. And conversly all play and no work makes Jack a dull boy.


BALANCE IS THE KEY.

"So..." - I've been there. My wife was addicted to WoW as well. The game is designed to be addictive, you must spend hours to make little progress, the social connections that are present can feel liberating. The latter is especially dangerous as they are virtual relationships and not founded as real relationships are. People open up and form bonds much quicker because there's an illusion of anonymity and say things that may take months, if ever, to reveal to others, creating an artificial closeness. As a result, the game breeds deceit. My wife took off across the country to meet some of these people. I have heard of others who have done the same. My wife finally pulled back from the edge, but at a huge cost. I hate that game with a passion. My recommendation is to gather evidence of the addictive nature of the game, through this article and others, and confront her of the dangers and what is happening to your family, and "intervention" so to speak that may have to involve other family. Pray to Heavenly Father for inspiration that your words that your words will help her.

I used to know a guy (no, that's not a round-about way of saying "me") who went to work, came home and played an online game, went to bed, got up and played, and went to work. The guy never speaks to his wife who is a a really nice girl. I feel so bad for her and can't believe that he'd ignore the girl he loves like that. I can't get enough of my fiance. I know I can't speak as I haven't walked a mile in his shoes, but I just can't see myself becoming sympathetic even, if I had taken that hike. How do people get so engrossed in this stuff? It's just a game. It's probably related to gambling addictions. Well, I guess I have nothing constructive to say, just lamenting and wondering.

I'm the guy who posted earlier about his wife. I really don't agree with dragging her to counselors and bishops, whatever. we're not active and have never been active and really don't need the church to get involved. My mom dragged my dad to counselors and bishops and in the end he resented her for it and still left us... if she doesn't want to change, she won't and I'm not going to "force" her to be a good wife and mother... if it's not the desire of her heart without any outside influence, it won't be with outside influence.

I just hate that I'm losing everything to a stupid video game... I wish it was a guy so that I could beat him up... but it's pretty demoralizing to lose your wife to a digital world of geeks and nose pickers.

The dictionary says a counterfeit is a copy or imitation, with the intent to defraud.

The author of "the other plan" has so many counterfeits he periodically introduces to the world, and it looks like this is just another in a long line of deceits. My heart goes out to you who have pointed out others addictions to this type of "counterfeit life".
I hope these deluded zombies can somehow wake up and get a real life.

Please don't take this wrong, but the problems you're up against with your marriage might just find resolution by becomming active in the church, your church, whatever church that may be.

If you sit idly by and hope things change, chances are they will...for the worse.

My soapbox speech would be: Often when couples go to their spiritual leader for assistance they wait until their situation is beyond repair. For example, when LDS couples go to their bishop for financial assistance the bishop feels (whether he says it or not) that things could have been fixed a whole lot easier had they come to him sooner and not waited until things got totally out of hand.

I'm just saying, don't wait until it's too late to help your wife and your marriage out. Take action soon, and good luck to you and your wife.

My wife is the same except its not games on the computer. Her 20 yr old son Is hooked and she acts like a child and does nothing to stop it. They are both into reading Harry Potter out loud and ignore me.I understand what you are saying about trying to get a child wife to act like an adult.My wife is 45 acts like a teenager or younger.Her son the same way.Its a disorder,a illness,cant be cured.Best you can do is to live with it or get out.Google personality disorders.You may see some interesting things.I wish you the very best. kenny

The issue is not online role-playing games or first-person shooters or games in general. The issue is addiction. That's it. we can become addicted to just about anything - games, drugs, pornography, reading, running, eating, etc. I agree with "The point" in that we need moderation. Even "good" things can interfere with the "better" things.

This is a good issue to bring up, I just hope people don't take it wrong and think that online role-playing games are inherently evil.

My wife and I have been online "Gaming" for 6 years now. We have seen, been affected by, and gained and lost good friends over ever issue that has been talked about here. The trueth is the games are not "evil", you are ultimately responsible for how you spend your time.

The only thing I can come up with is that this type of entertainment will magnify any social and personal problems you might have because they are a kind of vacation from reality. So if the real world is not great, its very easy to try to live in a fake world.

We do not spend crazy time playing them, (we did at one time) and I think of it as a hobby these days mostly to have fun with friends. I suspect the kid not going on a mission had other far greater issues than a wow addiction.

There are many additions with having a computer. Mine is reading Des-News articles. My husband says I neglect him by reading Des-News-LOL! He says I should leave the blogs alone too. I tell him- BUT IT'S SO FUN! LOL!

So...

I feel for you, and it's a total tragedy in the offing.

I know of another couple that did divorce b/c the wife was so immersed in this very game.

She started chatting with one of the players, and it wasn't too long b/4 the player, a much much older unemployed disabled male arranged a meeting, and voila, the marriage ended, kids are struggling, etc.

Turn off the internet and try and help her find some type of substitute activity, preferrably one that doesn't involve group games or vampire books.