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LDS leader's '07 address still causing controversy
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1. Funny that there is such an uproar about the idea that motherhood is the most important work a woman can do. Has anything different ever been said in the church about the men? Is not fatherhood the most significant work a man can do? No one complained about that ... certainly not the bachelors in the church. I've been single most of my adult life, and I didn't disagree.
2. Motherhood and fatherhood are about teaching children LIFE SKILLS and CHARACTER. Neither corporations nor academia teach these very well. Sure, homemaking is nice, and Sister Beck was only pointing out that an orderly home invites peace, and the Spirit, which is true. (Martha Stewart makes an industry of homemaking, and gets paid and praised by the millions. But she's a C.E.O.!) What's wrong with a little balance? Some of these folks need to be less defensive, and a little more willing to give kudos to their sisters who choose a path different than the academic or corporate ones.
Of course, living a Christlike life is what really matters, and getting upset about things like this shows how much growth many of us still need.
I am not LDS, and don't belief in Mormon Theology (Joseph Smith being a prophet, etc.). However, I do believe in LDS principles and values. What the Church teaches it's members (and nom-members, such as "me") is in a nutshell, "the right stuff".
If there is someone "out there" who can refute what this lady has to say; namely, show me that it is all BS, I'd like to hear from him/her. The best wife is a good mother; the best father is a man who loves his children's mother. Corny wording (perhaps) - but true to the core.
Relying on the Intelligence of experts have given me warning about the coming Ice Age and Global Warming in my lifetime. Not a very good track record.
I will put my faith in the creator of the systems that not only put us on this earth, but allows us to stay here.
Families and especially Mothers are part of those systems. When Mothers disappear so will we.
Mrs. Beck just defined what good looks like in a mother. She did not attack what you may or may not be doing. She just restated the standard.
If you have an issue with that standard, fine, just make sure the issue does not come from guilt. Are you attacking the standard because it is wrong or because you can't live up to it and you have to make yourself more comfortable in your own skin.
"experts" have shown us what to do and not to do for years. Too bad that advice too often conflicts over time.
Motherhood is too important too leave to the "experts"
There are politics and human error in the Church, but at the end of the day we're just people doing the best we can. We're being the best Mothers and Fathers we know how to be. Sister Beck was given the task of addressing this issue in the church and she did what she felt was right. There's certainly no harm in that.
Thou shall not steal...
There is no excuse for stealing...
Thou shall keep the Sabbath Day holy...
I guess the Police Officers and Paramedics are doomed because they have to work on Sundays? I think not...
The Lord knows our needs and circumstances girls...
Sis Beck is a well traveled leader who has visited several countries and members from different cultural upbringing.
I wonder what women from other countries think of her talk? So far, the ladies I've spoken with find it of worth and value to them. They come from different background, some have children, some divorced, some don't have children and some have never been married. Yet they find Sis Beck's talk valuable in their individual lives. I wonder why that is.
Sounds like a handful of people might be falling into this group.
I know that it is not a "formula" for all...but sister was speaking to those who needed to hear it to help them define themselves IF they needed to hear it.No one can speak to every need out there among women.I am sure she did not mean to do that. I am now a single LDS woman and I am very happy. As a single LDS member I feel supported,empowered and uplifted by my church and my men leaders.A thing I in my whole life I have never felt.HORRAH!
What a conniving, slanderous, false statement that is!!
I've been taught all my life by the church that we should do the best we can at whatever worthy cause we are engaged in. Eductation, civic leadership, church responsibilites, and YES... even parenthood.
It's true, children do better if mom stays at home with them, check the research. Sister beck wasn't out of line for saying what she did. But...based on the article, and some of the comments, it seems that there are a lot of people out there who don't have a clue what the church REALLY teaches or this would be a non-issue.
I heard a talk once, and I don't remember who it was by, but I'd like to say President Packer. He said that oftentimes when you feel the Spirit, it goes hand in hand with the stinging of rebuke. That's not to offend, that's to let you know that spiritually, you're not pointed in the exact right direction. You may be close, but each of us will always have things we can work on.
Some people will constantly look for offense, no matter what the intent is. Sister Beck didn't say one word that was out of line with official church doctrine. Everybody has different circumstances, that's why the Lord takes your desires into consideration along with everything else.
I think people just really need to get over themselves. Just because you think you've been offended doesn't mean you actually have been, and just because you think you're right doesn't mean you actually are. The Lord, however, is always right.
Then I decided to stop be acted upon and decided to start acting. Pressure and expectation is everywhere, especially in the church. But it is and was mostly of my own creation. Doing anything without developing the true desire to do so is a recipe for misery.
God knows we are finite beings and can't do it all. But I don't think we should cripple spiritual ideals such as missionary work and motherhood just because those ideals sometimes cause pain and sometimes are unachievable by very definition.
Male or Female, the strategy is the same, but the tactics are a little different. I personally applaud Sis. Beck for praising and supporting righeous mothers for their efforts to make important contributions to their families, wards and communities.
Fortunately, the Spirit teaches the Truth. All of our hearts were pricked upon hearing Sis. Beck's counsel. Some have chosen to follow those promptings and some have become defensive.
The same way that any other mother at any other age can. By pursuing excellence in family, education, community, church, etc.
We do educate people in this country. Just ask any 18 year old. With dual enrollment some 18 year olds can finish at least two years of college.
As a man with a less than perfect marriage, I know the sting, the pain and the "Eternal Uncertainty" when one views their life against the perfect models of the Church, but as Sis Beck was quick to point out, "eternity is a long time." I believe a lot of us will be able to achieve lives closer to the perfect model in eternity. I suppose that is where Hope and Faith enters in.
As for me, I will continue to listen and adhere as best I can to the counsel of the leaders. Knowing that every blessing will fall into place at the appropriate time and place.
The morality in this world has decayed beyond belief. I wonder why??
They've also forgot that unlike their break off sect theFLDS, we live a modern, enlightened and democratic world where woman can't be simply relegated to mysoginistically imposed rules because some 'authority' says so.
The world we live in today moved way beyond the inquisition a long time ago.
Beyond this, speaking about family was only one third of Sister Beck's talk was even about the family. She spent a whole third on preserving the family and a third on providing relief. She never said that woman should not work outside the home. She never directly addressed the issue of women working.
Sister Beck is the leader for these times. EVerything she said was right on the mark.
All this article did was give an apostate a place to speak and vent.
Who cares? Drop the subject.
I completely agree with your sentiments. I did not hear Sister Beck's talk, but I read it today. She talks about so much more than being a mother.
People need validation of motherhood. Many people fulfill that role in many ways. Some of the best mothers I have known were mothers of adopted children.
To Lucy,
You do have a good point, and I do not think any group would dare have a forum on how horrible it is for church leaders to speak against pornography. However there are people who attack the church leaders for their position on homosexuality, which is a behavior that probably has twice as many male as female practioners.
It should also be noted that Margeret Toscano, one of the presenters, has been excommunicated. I can not say about the other four, but this is not exactly a good sample of LDS women's views on these issues.
"Oh, but every mother in the LDS church is being judged by Ms. Beck's words and is judging herself."
How is this any different then talks given to men about the very same subject and how we should be good husbands, fathers and rear children in good homes.
"I worry for her mental health as her anguish in not measuring up continues to plague her. She's a good mum in my opinion, but according to the stick she's being measured with she fails on several fronts so she beats herself with it."
You have no compassion for others and I hope your sister doesn't reads what you have written. What kind of person are you? Beck's talk was one of the most compassionate and said women should STRIVE to be better mothers, better wives and better persons.
I'm sure you would take issue with Ballard's talk too "While women live in homes under many different circumstances-married, single, widowed, or divorced, some with children and some without-all are beloved of God, and He has a plan for His righteous daughters to receive the highest blessings of eternity."
I can't speak for women but reading your post hurt my feelings.
You probably took it to mean OBLIGATION or DUTY � as in �You should send her a note.�
I took it to mean PROBABILITY or EXPECTATION � as in �They should arrive at noon.�
As a Mormon woman we have inspiration, blessings, covenantial power from on High that makes the probability and expectation a pretty strong likelihood. Get your minds, hearts and facts right women, and don't take offense - even if you "think" you heard the truth. Sister Beck is watching out for you and yours!
PS: Have somebody tell you the story about the woman at Heathrow airport who bought a package of biscuits (cookies) and thought the man sitting next to her ate them! Sometimes our perspective is all messed up.
We have been taught incorrect principles for so long over the local pulpit and in our own homes. The principles of MAN, not God. God knows who we are, what we contribute, and that we have power to form the world of the future. Fear in the hearts of men, of intelligent, independent women causes problems such as this. Women who are in the role of mother, full time, part time, double time, need reminders that what they do is valuable. It would be the easy way for many mom's to leave the raising of our children to others and justify it very well. from the mind and heart of an intelligent, independent, open-minded lds mother of 5...I say the easy way isn't always the best way. I would be dissatisfied with anyone else mothering my children. They are an extension of me. I care for them as myself.
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