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Gay marriage is essential to equal civil rights for all

I sympathize with your plight. But - not enough to make gay marriage (or anything similar) legal.

First, to start with, all the benefits which you mention, Aaron, are given to married couples for a reason, that reason being that the vast majority of married couples will at some point bear the responsibilities of raising children. The vast majority of gay couples (a few like yourself excepted) will never bear such burdens.

Second, as for gay marriage and immigration: Marriage immigration and family reunification already is fraught with enough fraud without making gay couples eligible, too. (And does anyone ever wonder why the vast majority of international married couples always seem to want to settle in Spouse #1's country of the US, rather than in Spouse #2's country of India or Pakistan?)

Third, second, you and various gay organizations seem to have a knack for going about things backwards. Normally you try to convince people to do something democratically before you resort to legal strongarm tactics. Having failed to impose gay marriage via judical tyranny, only now do you resort to the court of public sympathy.

Fourth, how many gay couples are actually denied hospital visitation? I mean, really?

"Gay marriage will not have a negative impact on LDS families. It will not suddenly make heterosexuals become gay."

- ANOTHER condescending, self-righteous leftie who seems to know the thoughts and motives of everyone he or she disagrees with.

I love these people who NEVER bother to ask an opponent what their true concerns are. Rather, they just shove words in their mouth, then point a bitter finger of ridicule.

"Gay marriage is not an attempt to undermine families. It's only purpose is to grant equal civil rights to all."

- Oh I see. So attempts to undermine free speech and freedom of religion is simply a way of granting civil rights for ALL? And save your "We aren't trying to force our lifestyle on anyone" CRAP, cause we've already heard the lies.

Gay rights groups in other countries, such as Canada, Sweden and Denmark, have SUCCESSFULLY lobbied to make any negative speech aimed at gays and lesbians, EVEN when it comes from the CHURCH, a "hate speech" crime, punishable by fines and imprisonment.

Go ahead and keeping spinning this into some "civil rights" issue, but the true motives of the gay rights movement WILL BE EXPOSED.

I found your appeal extremely well written and respectful of the LDS culture. I know that you will receive much backlash on the comments. I hope the LDS writers will be more Christlike in their comments. I oppose gay marriage, but I do not oppose other rights given to gay couples. I believe that the institution of marriage should be limited to heterosexual couples. That doesn't mean that I believe all heterosexual couples are perfect. Look at the divorce rate. I think you should be able to file joint income tax for example. I see the financial rights and marriage rights as two different topics. Of course you should be able to visit in a hospital. Some hospitals allow it. Some don't. I would vote for other rights for gay couples that would allow the same financial benefits as married couples. I would oppose the definition of marriage changing. Thank you for your bravery in opening yourself up for comments. I hope I don't see any hateful ones on this post for or against gay marriage.

Two questions in regards to this column.

1. What scientist, theologian or politician ever said that heterosexuals would turn gay if same-sex marriage became legal?

ANSWER - NONE! This straw man point has been made up by gay supporters as a smoke screen to hide behind their true reasons for legalizing same-sex marriage. Oh, and constantly screaming "HOMOPHOBIC" to anyone who disagrees with them works the same way.

2. Why was nothing mentioned in this letter about the numerous individuals in countries like Canada, who face possible jail time for simply expression and opposing opinion about the gay lifestyle?

ANSWER - Because it's only a matter of time before the emperor's new clothes will be revealed.

I invite everyone to Google the name Stephen Boisson sometime. It's only a matter of time before what happened to him will happen to anyone in the U.S. who dares to oppose the gay rights movement.

All these years, all this talk about "hate crimes" and "fairness doctrine" and "equality" is nothing but a way of controlling speech and thought.

If you think I'm just being paranoid, WAIT AND SEE!

You ABANDONED your three CHILDREN (two natural and a step child)!?!? I LOVE my partner but wouldn't dream of letting go of my number one priority as a FATHER to my children.

Your even, calm, and respectful letter has touched quite a nerve it seems. I have never seen such venomous responses from any pro-gay letter to Deseret News or SL Trib.
Both the writer and the people who've responded thus far want the same thing (I assume). And that was enough to churn up a firestorm of negativity from the anti-gay marriage side.

What? You think these first five responses are the most venomous you have seen? Are you upset because the responses aren't pro gay marriage? This wasn't a letter from someone just expressing his opinion; it was a political appeal. I hardly call these responses a firestorm.

The DN only printed the letter because it wants the knee-jerk reaction this type of letter will generate, a bunch of hate from a bunch of self rightous so called Christians.

There should be no special rights to those that can reproduce- government shouldn't discriminate. Benefits should be given to partners of the same sex, or taken away from everyone!

That you admit you forsook your own family to pursue a relationship demonstrates a clear difference between an actual marriage and any other pairing. The current push to redefine marriage to suit the whims of a tiny minority is selfishness writ large.

Here it comes again, more comments from people who seem to be utterly terrified of gay people. And again, more people who fear that giving their gay neighbors equal CIVIL protections will suddenly make their "hate speech" illegal. "I don't want you to have equal rights because then I won't be able to call you ugly names." Wow, great argument.

I still haven't heard a good reason to deny homosexuals a civil marriage. The fear that people won't be able to speak negatively about gays doesn't seem valid to me. For starters, unless the speech is threatening, I highly doubt it will be denied. Secondly, you are free to teach your children in your home what your values are. I cannot understand why people are making such a big deal about a group of people who simply want to make a formal commitment to each other and to be protected like other couples are. I think it is sad when there are so many problems in our country and the world right now that we should be focusing on.

It's so clear from reading these comments that there are strong forces at work against freedom. The hard part about freedom is that you can't enforce your will against people. Some people confuse that with not being free.

Our Constitution prevents dictatorships, dictatorships of an individual, and dictatorships of a majority. It's the second kind a lot of people don't recognize. They don't recognize it because they think we are a pure democracy. We're a liberal democracy, one that guarantees equal civil rights, not just what the majority dictates.

Rant all you want. It's your right. But ultimately, things like homosexual marriage will work themselves out, one state at a time. That's the way it should work itself out. That's our system of governance by design.

Unfortunately for the letter writer, results don't come in realtime. But it's better overall for these things to work out slowly.

Just exactly how far do you think "trying to convince people democratically" would've gone? Do you realize how many times hate-crime legislation has failed in this state simply because it included sexual orientation? Tell me something - who were the kids most likely to get picked on in your school? How many were targeted because of their religion, gender or disability - all of which are covered in hate crimes legisltion. And how about those perceived as geing gay? - I'd bet every single one. Gay people are targeted from the get-go and it may fade a bit, but NEVER goes away - we are constantly aware of it. So if a State won't extend hate crimes protection to a group who is undeniably targeted because of who they are (for gay men and women Utah legislators considered it a "special right")then please don't expect us to believe "convincing someone democratically" will ever work - believe me we've tried.

I've said it before, and I'll say it again:

Instead of warring over gay marriage and getting nowhere, let's do something we can all agree on:

simplify the tax system so that nobody receives special perks and everyone pays a uniform fair share. TAKE MARRIAGE OUT OF POLITICS AND VICE VERSA!

Make marriage a personal matter between consenting parties, regardless of relationship configuration.

Does anyone agree, or are we all content to stay at each others' throats and sling mud? If the same amount of energy had been put into the tax crusade as has been put forth by the opposing camps in the gay marriage war, we'd have abolished the IRS by now.

We obsess over other people's personal lives and ignore the lunacy that governs us all. The only difference between us and so-called "less civilised countries split by warring parties" is that we rarely shed blood over this kind of stuff, we just waste a lot of ink and oxygen. It's time to grow up and work on fixing things for EVERYONE. That isn't good advice exclusively for the Middle East, folks.

Perhaps you have failed in your credits to the LDS faith to realize that to them, marriage is ordained of God and your homosexual behavior is not. Come to the church believing and practicing the standards and laws of morality expected of all members and you will be welcomed, if not by all bias members (for they are not perfected) but by the Lord. It the Lord to whom you must plead your cause, not the church which strives to uphold the standards and laws He has set.

Gay people will eventually be accepted as full-fledged card-carrying members of society. Increasingly people are being introduced to REAL gay people - people who are healthy, happy and make many positive contributions to their community. We no longer have to rely on ugly old stereotypes to tell us who and what gay people are. As people begin to realize that there is no need to be afraid or feel threatened their attitudes change - you can already see it in the youth today. Even deep-rooted religious-based attitudes can evolve as evidenced by the acceptance of Blacks into the Priesthood. There is no doubt a bumpy road ahead - but in the end what's fair for ALL will win out.

God has nothing to do with getting a marriage license.
If you want to keep gays from marriage inside the Temple, that's fine.
Using 12th century logic inside your house is fine.
Go ahead and use it in your churchs also.
Nobody cares.

Try to trample on the "God" given rights to all American citizens and use out-dated religious text to change laws, and you will never win.

Apparently you didn't catch the part where he mentioned his grandchild - indicating his children are most likely fully grown adults. Just how old does a child have to be before mommy and daddy can pursue their own happiness? Or should parents just be expected to put the rest of their lives on hold. I know I wouldn't want my parents to do that - I want them to lead happy fulfilling lives of their own.

This issue figures so prominantly in Utah because it is the best way to rally the troops and keep them from seeing much more important issues before them. It is a wedge issue to divide people which has seen its day.

It is heartening to read that more people are begining to see the non-issue of gay marriage for what it really is in their lives: irrelevant. People come up with all sorts of ludicrous reasons to remain opposed to granting full equality to gay people from the erroneous "they can't have children" to absurdities that "God forbids it."

And the idea that giving gay people society's acknowledgement in their relationships somehow unleashing a Gay Agenda to turn everyone gay is the silliest thing printed in this forum since the drive to legitimize creationism in the form of "intelligent design".

Only in the Deseret News do you find these issues being kept alive with week after week of people writing how opposed they are to these non-issues and giving the same tired refrain of worn-out talking points that have long since been discarded by many others.

The religious argument is the weakest of all, yet it will fall eventually.

@12:03,

The religious argument is the strongest argument of all.

In a godless world, nothing matters. Might makes right. Loud voices triumph over reason. Clever advertising and packaging hide sub-standard goods foisted on the public.
Only religion gives a valid reason for conduct. That is not surprising when the author of good and honorable conduct is considered.

The idea that any group of people, anywhere in the world, for any reason, would announce that their viewpoint is all that matters and that anyone who disagrees had better learn to like it, is prone to fail. There is no group on this entire earth who has the ability to determine, with their own little finite abilities, what is right and what is wrong. Sure they can look at the obvious, but only an infinite mind that understands all law, not just the laws recognized by mankind, can determine whether one course of action will lead to happiness or whether that course of action will lead to destruction.

That infinite mind has already spoken on the subject of homosexual activity. His voice is being shouted down by the homosexual activists. His is the only voice that matters.